this is such crack. inspired by the latest episode.

Bad Romance

It was such an odd romance.

At first, her weird little laugh got on his nerves, and so did her tendency to zip around and tell him he wasn't this or that. For her, he got on her nerves because he had the same sense of directions as a rock, and she'd even seen rocks that were cuter than he was.

Then he discovered she was actually a decent cook when she got hungry enough to get off her butt and cook (there HAD been such a thing as life before Thriller Bark, much though she preferred not to think about it because it was not cute at all). And she discovered that he was surprisingly good at laundry, which provoked much laughter and earned her a knot on the head (Sanji would have given him more than a knot on the head for doing that, and he almost wished the ero-cook was there to do so).

He, personally, blamed the night she'd been trying to find him among the many rooms of the castle. For whatever reason, she'd been looking with her real body instead of the intangible one. When she finally found him, it was because she stumbled across his drunken body sprawled in a corridor. When she fell, she had twisted her ankle and sprained it quite viciously. It had woken him up (how could it not when she was laying on the floor sobbing and squealing like a 5 year old?) and he'd taken a single look and told her she wouldn't be able to walk for two weeks. This, of course, made her squeal like Sanji in one of his love-fits, and only made his head swim more.

It only took him an hour to come back to where she was and take her to her room to wrap her foot. Even better, it had only taken him half an hour to actually find her room. The next day, he'd come and fed her badly made riceballs that had too much sugar in them. She had pouted and demanded 'cuter' food. For the second meal, he'd brought her burnt meat and vegetables with silly faces carved into them and made her laugh at his art skills. After that, she'd taken to floating over his head and directing his cooking.

After the first week, she could hobble around with the help of a cane. Zoro had cut it for her and let her carve it into something suitably adorable. Then he had told her, quite bluntly, that he was going to find or build a ship and leave. At that, she had set up a racket equal to Chopper and Usopp's caterwauling when they were scared. He placated her by saying she could help, which quickly devolved into an argument about how cute the ship was allowed to be.

The camp that they set up on the beach was rustic, and cute in an odd way, so she let it be for a little bit and floated around, pointing out trees that would make good ship-wood. This, of course, had made the volatile swordsman angry because she was hovering like his mother would (if he had one), and that had degenerated into an argument even more quickly. The angry ghost girl had sulked in her leanto until Zoro returned carrying four trees and a deer. Gibbering and pointing at the trees had only made him think that she'd gotten into his sake.

A week later, she could walk around fairly easily again, and had tried to browbeat Zoro into returning to the castle. He refused, of course, and so she spent every day trying to make him return, in between painting swirls and tiny ghosts on the finished part of the boat. The longer she argued, the hotter the arguments got, and the more one of them ended up stomping into the forest. Then one day, Zoro shut her up completely in a way she had not expected at all.

His lips tasted like burnt sugar and sake. Which was why she had no qualms with letting him finish the boat and pull her on, telling her that she had to help him keep the boat pointed in the direction the vivre card pointed in (north northwest, but that meant nothing to him because apparently north was up). Nor did she mind sharing his lap with his swords.

Then he told her she laughed like she was on drugs, and all she did was laugh and tell him that he was a cute little marimo that had no idea where he was going.

i am so nutters (writing this gave me so many lols) gogo Zerona!