I do not own these characters, I am just borrowing them to get the plot bunnies out of my head.
This started as a one shot but as I couldn't get it out of my head, I had to come back to it, because it was a painful way to leave Elliot. To clarify, this is set in season 13 - I am going to put it somewhere before Hunting Ground. I wanted Nick and Liv's relationship to still be fairly shaky, and not too well established, so Liv will be working a lot out. ***This is set in season 13 but focuses on Olivia and Elliot.***
Elliot Stabler sat in his car, the windows up while the rain pattered down around him. His coffee cup was warming his hands as he kept his eyes focused on the doors to the apartment building on the other side of the road. He was uncomfortably cold, but it had been a long drive to New York and he hoped that the cold would keep him awake. Succombing to sleep now would mean that he might miss her.
Missing her - he wondered if she knew he did. He wondered if she would be angry if he approached her out of the blue - would she slap him or hug him? Perhaps she would just turn away - would it be her turn to walk out of his life? He couldn't bear it when she did that, but he had done it too now, and he had been gone for much longer.
He suddenly noticed her door open and was aware of his heart beating harder in his chest at the anticipation of seeing her. He released the breath he had been holding when the person emerged from the door - it wasn't her. Perhaps she didn't live here anymore - he sighed and placed his coffee cup in the holder. Closing his eyes he was filled instantly with a memory of her.
She was sitting next to him in the car, they were on a stakeout, two coffee cups in the holders, another rainy day just like today. They were talking about a case - she was annoyed, justly if he remembered rightly the details were faded now although her features were not. He remembered her annoyance as he stared at her with a small smile hoping to lighten the mood. It worked. She laughed, and her smile turned the grey New York morning into something brighter. Her face lit up and she relaxed - his simple gesture enough to change her mood.
"OK, El," she said, smiling as she leaned back in her seat and kept her gaze on their suspects apartment.
The rain eased a little and through the small streams of water running down his window he finally saw her. His breath hitched as he tried to speak but even though she wouldn't have heard him, be still could not find the words. She was dressed for work, and talking on her cell phone. He imagined the Captain was on the other end of the phone, giving her a crime scene location. She looked up and for a second he thought she had seen him, but she turned to a car which had pulled up next to her. With a slight smile, she opened the door and got in.
The sound of her voice, his name on her lips, her laugh. He missed her presence in his life.
He sighed and rubbed his aching neck with his hand, paused for a moment and then put his key in the ignition.
He knew it was foolish to follow her, he would either lose the car, or he would keep tailing her and eventually stop. He wasn't sure what he would do then - continue watching her and hope she didn't notice - or hope that she would and that she would come over, he would get out of the car and wrap his arms around her, holding her tightly. He shook his head and laughed at his almost romantic notions of how a reunion between them might go.
The rain continued to fall as he he turned the key in the ignition and started the engine, bringing the car to life - he couldn't just drive away. He knew she would be pissed at him, a year had gone by and he had not contacted her. A significant part of their lives spent so intertwined and he had ended their relationship so abruptly.
He doubted she would fall into his embrace. It wasn't what they did - a year of trying not to think about her and his memories were becoming altered by his own pain. The harder he worked to hold on to the memories of her - to stop them from fading, the more he found he was perhaps not remembering at all, but wishing.
No, they didn't hold each other, he knew they didn't do that, so why would that be her reaction now?
He followed her car for twenty minutes until it pulled into the car park of a very upmarket apartment complex. It exuded wealth and opulence but Elliot was unimpressed. His eyes were focussed on the car ahead which had now stopped.
In his quest to tail her unnoticed he hadn't even realised the rain had stopped until his wiper blades began to scrape against the now dry window. He flicked a lever turning the wipers off and looked up just as she left the car. The driver was a man Elliot didn't recognise, but he noticed the glint of a police badge on his belt as he also exited the car.
Elliot felt his chest tighten in a mixture of anger and something else that he could not describe - he almost laughed at himself. What right did he have to expect Olivia to be just as he left her - her life on pause for his return. He felt an odd sense of jealousy when he watched them together and shook his head.
"What am i doing? Of course she has a new partner," he said to himself.
He put the car into reverse and turned around, really unable to work out what he was feeling right now - taking in this brief snapshot of her life without him.
As he drove out of the car park Olivia looked up, her eyes scanning the car park,empty except for the familiar police vehicles.
"What's up?" asked Nick
"Nothing, just thought someone was watching for a second," she replied
"Lets check it out."
"No, I didn't see anyone just a feeling - I'm pretty sure our perp is long gone," she replied.
As Olivia and Nick continued their investigation, Elliot drove into the busy New York traffic, feeling oddly comforted in the anonymity he felt once his car blended in with countless others. He felt conflicted and was unsure if he could approach Olivia, but try as he might he couldn't bring himself to head out of the city, so he just drove, taking in the familiar sights, and the streets they used to protect together.