Never Should Have

They never should have happened. They were all wrong for each other and no one let them forget that. She knew from the beginning they wouldn't last she just didn't realize how much she wouldn't or couldn't let it go even though it was the biggest mistake of her life.

They met at a party her Manager Marcus was throwing for his clients; she had been standing out on the balcony of the hotel room Marcus had rented. She'd been out there for knows how long trying to come up with a good excuse to leave.

She was having a rough day, her father had called to say that her daddy's cancer had returned. It had broken her heart but as someone in the public eye she had to keep up her appearance and not show that it was tearing her apart.

She tossed back her third glass of champagne when she heard a voice say, "So America's sweetheart isn't so sweet?" His voice was grating on her nerves.

She turned to face him and tried to remember his name and what he did for a living. "Puck, I'm the lead singer of Mayhem." He held out his hand for her to shake which she did so hesitantly especially after she remembered she knew his face but not the fact that he was a singer.

"Right." She said. "Since you called me America's sweetheart I assume you know my name." She noticed he had yet to let go of her hand and she could feel it tingling. "Can I have my hand back?"

"Oh right sorry." He smirked at her. "Just a little star struck." She blushed as his eyes remained on her face. "Berry, I didn't know we had the same manager. If I had I would've had Marcus get a duet for the new CD."

"I don't really sing anymore." She watched as his eyes got wide. "I do for movies and stuff but I really haven't had the time lately."

"You don't sing anymore? Why the fuck not? Your voice is like an orgasm. Shit I got laid more times than I can count to your first album." She couldn't help but laugh at his reaction.

She just shrugged and from there they moved on to other topics. He kept her entertained for the rest of the night.

It was months later before she saw him again and then he was dating some blond girl and she was going through a really bad break up. They were at an after party for the Grammys he was drinking and so was she; so when he asked her if she wanted to get out of there she didn't think twice about it.

No one ever knew about that time or the next two but it made her realize that when she was around him she wasn't the person she wanted to be. It would be a year before he would break up with his girlfriend. It would be three months before he officially asked her out on a date.

It would be two years of heartache and pain before she realized she made a mistake by saying yes to any of it. Not all of it was pain but the last six months had been hell. She realized that everything he had ever said to her was a lie.

He didn't love her, he was leaving and he never wanted a future with her. It hurt her to her soul and sometimes she would go numb but then the wound would open and turn into a black hole.

She had returned from a movie tour and walked into their apartment which was full of boxes. She sucked in a breathe as she watched him come into view. "I thought I would be gone before you got back."

That was the first slice to her heart, the second came when he said, "I need a break."

A break? She hadn't seen him in a month and half. She just shrugged, "Okay." There wasn't a flash of pain across his face or even a guilty look. Her heart crumbled. "I guess I'll just go get something to eat while you move out." She thanked God for her being a really good actress.

"Thanks, Rachel." She turned around and left not looking back because she refused to let him see the tears in her eyes. She walked down the hall with her head high. She got lunch at a deli and walked around New York for a few hours not thinking.

Once she decided she'd been gone long enough she headed back. She opened the door and saw how empty the place was without his things scattered around. She dropped her purse on the floor and head straight to their-her bedroom. The bed was made and everything was neat. She didn't even change her clothes or take her shoes off before falling in bed to cry herself to sleep.

She woke up to find the apartment silent and dark. She blinked into the darkness not moving from her spot. She started to think about how she had got to this point in her life. She remembered all the times he made her laugh and smile. She started crying when she thought about the first time he said he loved her.

She wished she knew where everything had gone wrong. They had started fighting about little things and never were really in the same place anymore. What was so different from the last six months and the first six?

She laid in bed for a few days thinking about every little detail of their relationship. She remembered him whispering in her ear telling her that he loved her. Sometimes they would sit on the sofia and talk about getting married and having kids. She started laughing at her stupidity. He never stayed with one girl why did she think she was any different.

It would take her weeks before she could go out into public without her mask. It would be two months before she found out she was pregnant with his child. It would take one week of it being in the tabloids before he called her asking her if it was his. It would take fours phone calls and finally a face to face before she would tell him the truth. You can't hang up on someone if you were face to face with them although you could slam the door in their face (which she did).

"I'm not doing this." She said walking around her apartment collecting the things she needed to go home to Ohio till she had the baby.

"Why are you being so stubborn?" He asked standing in the middle of her living room looking like a band member of Papa Roach.

"Why are you here?" She asked stopping to finally look at his face. She was not a girl who looked like she had dated a tough Rocker in her baby pink sundress.

"I want the truth. I want to know if that's my kid." He said pointing at her belly.

"No it's my kid." She stated moving to her bedroom to finish packing.

"So it is mine." He rubbed a hand over his head. "Wait where are you going?"

She mumbled under her breathe, "the one place you won't." Outloud she said, "Home."

"You are home." Rachel rolled her eyes at Puck.

"No. I'm at my house. I'm not home. Home is where the heart is and mine is currently in Ohio." At this she saw a slight flicker across his face.

"So you're going to Ohio. For what? The paps will find you out there too." He spoke as if it was obvious.

She shrugged and zipped up her suit case. "So? Why does it matter to you where I go?" She asked dropping it to the floor and moving passed him to the door.

One plane trip and a 15 minute drive later she was back at her father's house. She took a deep breath. The last time she had been to her childhood home was when her daddy died. Puck had refused to come with her which should have clued her into the fact that he wasn't the one.

She walked up the steps and before she could reach the top step the door was opened, "Baby girl." Her father who had been her rock the last couple of months was pulling her into a tight warm hug; something she had needed for a long time.

"Come in let's get you settled." Her father took her suitcase and guided her into the house.

Seven months into her pregnancy and she was pissed. Noah Puckerman was currently on the Radio with Ryan Seacrest. Ryan had asked about the rumors that Rachel was pregnant with his child and would have nothing to do with him and he just said they were true. She wanted to kill him.

She pushed herself up from her seat and moved across the room to her phone when she heard, "To be fair though that's my fault." She gasped.

Ryan asked, "What do you mean?"

Puck sighed, "I wasn't the greatest boyfriend. I did things and said things I'm not proud of. Rachel was the best girlfriend she could be but we were just in two different places in our lives. I messed up."