A/N: Yes, Yes, the next King of Ruin chapter is being delayed- but I'll do it soon, would be doing it today but I got hit with a massive bolt of inspiration for something that's been tempting me a long time, especially after that abominable half-light studio video…

To make one thing abundantly clear- Leider loves Skyrim. Yes, tis' a blasphemy without pardoning in these parts, but Elder Scrolls got me into the RPG genre- had I not played it, I would've never discovered Nier, Amalur, Dark Souls, or all the other RPG's I know and love today. Sadly, I don't play it anymore- after I started playing Dark Souls, it just lost its flavor and stopped being fun- especially since I left off on my fourth character, sixth playthrough, and over 700 hours of gameplay over three years X3

Yes, I loved Skyrim every bit as much as I love Dark souls now, so parody this may be, it is also a tribute to everything I loved in Skyrim and all the crazy times I had shedding my casual self to play Dark Souls.

Oh, and to make one thing clear- this is completely so totally not written in the format and inspiration of Dark lols II by ASouffleToServeTwo- though, his is kinda cool so I'd check that out to X3

I have no idea if I'm good at writing humor or not- you may laugh to tears or scoff at my pathetic ramblings at your leisure, but whatever you review, please let it be honest, thank you :3

…

At a little known inn at a little known corner of a little known world, there is a place where shit was happening with a game of game avatars and stuff-

At a table, there a sat a rather morose, extremely depressed knight in the armor of an Astoran knight, slumped over the table with the faint candlelight flickering from his stunning steel armor, lifting the visor occasionally to take a massive swig of wine-

"So- fucking- depressed." He muttered to himself, as the door to this lesser known inn place of sorts was blown open. I twas then, the sworn enemy to this knight swaggered in- a hot babe in each arm- the distinctive leather and horned helmet marking him as the one, the only-

"Dovakiin is here, bitches!" He announced, everyone getting giddy with excitement as he swaggered on in the most swag and arrogant way possible- the knight feeling his blood boiling over in rage, "Yes, that's right!" he announced again, "The greatest and strongest hero in all the land is-" it was then he got belted over the head with the most 133t throw of them all- the wine glass exploding against his indestructible flesh so hard- a miniscule chunk of his lifebar was taken down, though he was playing on "Super Duper Easy" mode and recovered instantly-

"Shut- the fuck- up!" the knight roared, flipping the table. Dovakiin locked eyes with the extremely aggressive and ragey knight- hardened by hours and hours of ludicrous deaths, it could only be-

"Chosen Undead!" Dovakiin bit back, "What are you doing here?"

"I was taking a holiday waiting for Demon's Souls II/Beast Souls!" he snapped, "but now that you're- here- I suddenly- have- the urge- to- flame!" his hands erupted into duel chaos fireballs- getting knocked on his overly sensitive ass by a giant, even manlier knight clad in fluted mail with two wicked looking greatswords- one black and one white-

"Enough!" he boomed, the force of his ultra-hardcore voice breaking the windows and glass, blowing Zelda's skirt up a bit, "Every time! Every fucking time!"

"I agree," I rough, dark, rather old but incredibly wise elf spoke with his own son at his side, a knight in rather cartoony but tough armor. The two older knights regarded eachother coldly-

"Morrowind, Oblivion." The slayer of demons, muttered,

"Demon Slayer." The elder game replied evenly. But, today, they were more interested in getting their pigheaded boys to Jolly Co-operate, so they were sat down at a table to talk their feelings over:

"I just don't get it!" Dovakiin spat, "You make such a huge attempt to attack me every time you see me, I get mentioned, anything! Are you some kind of a crazy person!" the chosen undead curled his lips with nothing short of pure contempt,

"You have it so easy: you get to be the great hero- everyone loves you and your enemies are such fucking pushovers, you even get to fucking pause for godsakes-"

"Hey," the Dragonborn retorted, putting his hands defensively on his chest, "Haven't you heard of legendary difficulty- it's like- legendary!"

"Oh please, you wouldn't survive the fucking tutorial level of Lordran!" He roared, slamming his hands on the table, "and don't even- get me- started- on Anor Londo!" there was an elegant but sinister laugh, the knight looking over at a bar across the room and seeing a great, gold armored lion knight with his spear leaned against the table by a pair of silver knights- their great, golden bows impaled in the ground-

The chosen undead slunk down- feeling his undergarments grow uncomfortably warm- until Demon Slayer looked Ornstein in the eye- the gold knight launching himself out the door- his spear leaving a scorch mark across the floor, the infamous archer duo cowering behind the bar counter in terror-

This was, afterall, the guy that defeated dragon god, the false king, Flamelurker, and Mr. Octopus Head.

The two younger RPG's went back at it, Dovakiin snickering to himself,

"See what I mean? A pair of archers- stopping you dead?" he laughed, "You get your ass kicked by everything! Git gud bro!" his snickering was silenced by the bang of piano keys from Nito's theme- as played by Nito across the way on a giant Grand Nito Piano- the chosen undead laughing in truly demonic and slow fashion that made the dragon slayer start chugging power buffs like no tomorrow-

Until he was whacked upside the head by Demon Slayer-

"Don't worry son- stay classy. He can't help the fact he doesn't understand real men -"

"Excuse me!" Oblivion shouted, "Skyrim is much harder than you give it credit for, why, have you even seen our magicians!" Morrowind put a hand on his shoulder,

"Let it go, we'll solve nothing arguing this way."

"I agree," the demon slayer concurred, putting his massive pride and ego aside for the sake of peace with the rival family. They all paused, the younger boys silent as their learned parents looked to eachother, nodding mysteriously-

"Crossover." Demon Slayer boomed, Morrowind nodding,

"Crossover."

"What!?" the chosen and dragonborn exclaimed simultaneously, but their elders had already made up their minds, going so far to complete eachother's sentences-

"You're going to Lordran, scrub- to learn what I means to be a real man-"

"And you shall visit Skyrim, and see we can't be written off so easily-"

"You'll be set to level one: no powers, no weapons-"

"Just your skills-"

"Like real men!" It was a terrible idea that was guaranteed to end horribly, but it appeared they had little choice in the matter and they were each hauled out- kicking and screaming- by the parent of their rival- The Chosen Undead digging his sword into the ground and gouging the floorbords-

"But it's so- casual! I'll get bored to death I'll- I'll turn into- a- a scrub!" while dovakiin spammed Fus Ro Dah! At the slayer of demons, though his poise was 9000.1 and he shook it off effortlessly-

"You think you can scrub me with your scrub magic, boy?" He chuckled, making every princess in the room faint, "By this time tomorrow- you'll know and love heavy armor- scrub."

And thus, the most retarded thing I ever done wrote began…