Sebastian and Agni were sitting in the kitchen while Agni supervised Maylene cleaning and Sebastian picked at a plate of chicken curry pretending to eat so that nobody would notice that well, he never needed to eat or sleep. Maylene was undoubtedly in her own little world where she might see that cute blonde haired guy with the glasses again, and paid no attention to the chatterings of Sebastian and Agni.
"Why don't you share a story with me, Agni?"
"Why don't you share one with me? You hardly ever share and it concerns me for your well being."
"I could not possibly be so interesting. I insist." Sebastian said. As a butler his life was dreadfully dull, after all. Except for most of his work involving reapers, killing people, weird circus troupes.
"This is rather personal but now that I lo back on it, I can not help but laugh. When I was a child I had a compulsion. Around eight percent of children do it."
"What was it?"
"I would draw picture of penises." Agni explained.
"Like the genitalia?" Sebastian asked.
"Yes. I would just sit down all day and draw phallic images. I could not touch a quill to paper without drawing some kind of penis. It was unstoppable."
"That is certainly unique…" Sebastian held down a laugh. After all, it would be rude for the Phantomhive butler to laugh at his friends misfortune.
"One day while I was drawing penises instead of my scriptures, my sister found me. She took my scrolls, which were entirely full of phallic drawings and paraded them about the temple. My parents were not pleased. They sent me to a spiritual healer thinking that I have may have possessed by some kind of penis-loving demon."
Sebastian laughed. "A penis loving demon, you say?" Well, he'd heard of demons who lied penis but never any who actually lured human children into drawing them.
"Yes. My parents even forced me to stop eating any kind of food that was phallic."
"What kind of foods are phallic?"
"The best ones." Agni confessed, with an audible sigh. Soma, with his magical prince hearing could hear Agni sigh from across the manor and was there within seconds.
"Are you telling Mr. Sebastian about the dicks?"
"Yes, my prince."
"You should show him the drawing you did of his dick."
Sebastian choked on his curry and gave Agni a look. Now, Agni never seemed like a vulgar kind of guy and he seemed like a good person without any strange flaws or preferences. Though Agni had one flaw and it was the gayest flaw ever.
"That's not what it sounds like." Agni promise him. "Really. It's not what you think it is."
"See!" Soma shoved a piece of paper in Sebastian's face. It was a picture of an uncircumcised penis wearing a tailcoat and tie. Sebastian raised an brow and wished he hadn't seen that.
"You should've drawn it larger." he suggested.
"No, that looks about right." Maylene said from across the room.
I stole this idea from the movie Super Bad. it's an awesome movie.