Hi guys, I'm starting a new story, that I hope with all of my heart you enjoy, first of all I gotta thank my gorgeous friend and one hell of a writer, Mellie, thanks for giving me the courage to keep writing; I love you.

Spencer's Point of View:

Who am I? Who am I going to be? Who the hell is Spencer Hastings?

Since forever I have been trying not to live under my sister's shadow, I have been trying to please everybody but me, I have been trying to be the perfect daughter my parents already had.

I am president of the student council, I get straight A's, I have a GPA of 3.9, I participate in MUNs (Model United Nations), I win British Parliament debates, I am part of the Decathlon Team, I am captain of the school's Hockey team, I am everything they wanted me to be, but was it all worth it? was I ever enough for them?

Where am I? Had I been asleep this whole time? All I see are green walls, and a bed with white sheets, a nurse just came in to give me some colorful pills.

"Why am I here?" I ask her.

"Good morning Spencer, You have been admitted 3 days ago, to Radley Sanitarium, I'm not allowed to tell you your diagnosis, but I'm pretty sure you'll be out soon." I pop the pills she gave me into my mouth and suddenly feel dizziness.

I don't deserve to be here, I do everything right, I can't keep going forward if everything isn't as perfect as I want it to be. I walk to the bathroom my room has and can't help to see myself in the mirror , I look skinnier, and pale. I take off my shirt and turn just to see my bones showing. I turn to analyze my face in the mirror, I have huge purple eyebags. I look tired, physically and mentally tired.

I sit in the bathtub while it starts to fill with water, where did my mind go? Tears start falling down my eyes and in a glimpse of seconds I suddenly can't breathe, I'm panting, Sadness hits me like a bitch, I have no meaning, I have no past, no present, no future, I'm not the sun, neither the moon. I'm everything that got lost in time and in the middle of the way. I have no intention, nor motive to keep breathing, don't I?

"Mom?" I hear a voice.

"Mom, are you okay?" The voice is coming closer, I can't hear through my sobs anymore, I'm naked lying in the bathtub.

"Oh my god" I see a boy with deepening blue eyes coming my way.

"Mrs.-Hey Please STOP!" His hands are holding my arms with a really strong force now, he tries not to look my way, I suddenly notice the razor in my hands with blood falling down the bathtub full of water, I never noticed, I didn't have the control of myself for a few seconds.

"Are you okay?" The boy asks me and I nod feeling really dizzy. He brings a towel to me and wraps me around it, he tries to take me to my bed but we both fall with no success. I suddenly laugh, I meant that, I haven't laughed since months ago. He stares at me confused and suddenly bandages my wounded arm.

"I'm so sorry, I thought this was my mother's room."

"It's okay, thank you, for this." I say reffering to the boy stopping my suicidal non-intentional actions.

"I'm Toby," I nod.

"I'm nobody," I say shaking his hand,

"I really doubt you're a nobody,"

"I can be nobody here, I don't wanna be my old self" I say while frowning.

"Woah, sorry Mrs. Nobody" I laugh again.

"You really have an impact on people, don't you?" I tell him and he raises his eyebrows.

"What do you mean?"

"I can't remember why I'm here, the only thing I know is that I haven't laughed since forever, and I suddenly met you and you made me giggle like such an idiot, twice."

"You don't remember why you're here?, That's bullshit."

"I mean it,"

"I think you're lying,"

"I'm not lying!" My eyes start to fill with tears again.

"The only thing I remember is trying to be who everyone wanted me to be and failing to be myself,"

"Mrs. Nobody, do you like to read?"

"Of course I do" I suddenly remember, that I haven't read in a long time, I mean I have but not the books or authors I used to love. Toby grabs his backpack and takes out a book,

"Have you ever read Paulo Coelho?" He asks,

"No, is it good?" He hands me his paperback copy of "Veronika decides to die".

"Keep it." I open the book and smile at his highlighted quotes, he grabs the book of my hands and looks for an specific highlighted quote;

"What is it that makes people hate themselves?

-Maybe cowardice, or the endless fear of mistaking, of not doing what everyone else expects them to do." He speaks out loud with a soft voice. Words are overrated at this edge, everything that I want to say I say it with a glance, he understands.

"I have to go see my mom, I will be back tomorrow, I hope you catch up, you will love the book." He helps me stand and leaves my room, since then I haven't been able to say a word.

Toby's Point of View:

As soon as I see my mom, I hug her as tightly as possible.

"How are you mom?,"

"I'm getting better, darling, hoping that soon I will get released." I hold her hand and start rubbing my thumb on her palm as I always do.

"What took you so long?"

"I was on my way here but I met another patient, she's young, chestnut hair, do you know her?"

"Hastings, she was admitted recently"

"Hastings as in Veronica & Peter Hastings daughter?" She nods.

"She's depressive, if I'm not mistaken, she had some violent episodes before, I pity that child, her parents must make her life one hell of a living." I nod trying to analyze the whole situation.

"I love you, mom." She smiles so geniunely I start having doubts on why is my mom still here,

"I love you so much more Toby, I can't wait for the day I get out of here and come home with you, just us." I smile at the thought.

"Counting the days!"

Spencer's Point Of View

"What the hell are you doing here? Don't touch me" I start feeling anxiety as I wake up and see my mother.

"Spencer, it's okay, I'm here, it's okay…" She tries hugging me.

"What the hell are you talking about? Why are you here?" I ask her as confused as I can be. She eyes me worriedly,

"What were you doing last night, Spencer?"

"I stood up late reading, I would like to continue, so leave, please." My last word cracks as my eyes start getting teary again, I follow my mother with my eyes and see her speaking to a cop while closing the door.

"Cops?" I climb up to my bed so I can see through the small window and see a body and 4 police cars surrounding the body, I don't recognize the corpse. Even though I have a strange feeling, Bethany comes knocking on my door.

"Spencer?" She calls me while I'm reading the book Toby gave me yesterday.

"I told you to not call me that."

"I need to trade some pills."

Toby's Point Of View

"Hello?" I answer the phone that woke me up,

"Mr. Cavanaugh?, This is Radley Sanitarium" My head starts jumping to any conclussion of every possible situation.

"We're sorry to inform you, that Mrs. Cavanaugh had committed suicide yesterday's night."

I couldn't get my thoughts straight at first, my head started pounding, tears must be cried.

This isn't real, my mother was happy, my mother was sane, my mother was about to leave that awful place that drove her to her death. She didn't deserve any of this.

Thank you guys so much for reading, hope you enjoyed, please review with your thoughts and ideas, I take requests as well, this is going to be as romantic and as dark as I would love to read.

PS: I'm sorry for the ones who have read Veronika Decides to Die, I'm not sure if the quote is translated in the same way, I just happen to have the book in spanish.