Lily's heart raced as she nearly sprinted down the stairs from the Girls' Dorm to the Common Room. Mentally she was counting and re-counting and calculating days and percentages as her thoughts whizzed over the conclusion that her brain was most certainly not jumping to.

Not twenty minutes ago Lily had been sitting peacefully in her dorm laughing with Mary and Alice about their respective boyfriends. She'd been having a good time, taking her mind off of the fact that she hadn't been able to see James much that entire week. That was, until Marlene had walked in, Quidditch gear in tow, complaining about how James had made her play through her cramps, and Lily should bite his head off for it because Marlene was in too much pain to do it. The girls laughed, and Lily's stomach dropped seven floors.

Yes, Lily was having a wonderful morning until she realized she was late.

Three weeks late.

"Oh bloody hell,"

And that brought her to the sprinting down the stairs to the Common Room, where she hoped she would find James. Stupidly, she thought he would be back at the same time as Marlene, but he always stayed late to clean up, the stupid responsible berk. She started towards the portrait hole, running flat into just the black haired, quidditch playing seventh year she didn't want to see.

"Oi, watch it, Red." Sirius Black grinned down at the marginally smaller form of Lily, until he seemed to pick up on her stress. He dropped his hands on her shoulders and took a step back. "You alright?"

"Fine, is James on his way?" She craned to see around him.

"He's cleaning," Lily sighed, already having known that's what he'd be doing. She made to turn around, but Sirius still had a pretty firm grip on her shoulders. "No seriously, Evans, what's wrong?"

Staring at Sirius she weighted her options. She could either insist it was nothing and go back up to her dorm and face the same questions from her dorm mates, or she could tell the best mate of her boyfriend (a boyfriend that she'd only had for six months) that she was possibly, maybe, at least forty percent sure, pregnant.

Some part of her felt bad Sirius would know before James.

"I'll tell you, but-" She glanced around the crowded Common Room. "-not here."

Sirius nodded, backing to push the portrait hole open again. "I know the perfect place."

He was talking about the Room of Requirements. Lily figured that out when they walked the all too familiar path to her and James' favorite snog spot. She started to take the lead, and after pacing the corridor and getting the door to appear, Sirius sent her a knowing look.

"Someone's familiar."

"Piss off, Black." Lily rolled her eyes, pushing her way into the Room that had transformed into what looked like a comfortable sitting room. She sat down on the edge of the couch that had appeared and waited for Sirius to follow. It didn't take long and he soon joined her.

"Are you going to tell me now?" He jabbed at her leg with his finger.

"I'm, well, see-that is," She sighed, chewing on her lip and wondering if she'd ever get the words out. "I'm pregnant?"

Silence.

"Bloody hell," Sirius muttered.

"Not for three weeks," That almost got her a smile.

"Well, are you sure?"

"I've been feeling sick all week," Lily looked down at her hands, fiddling with the hem of her skirt. "And I'm late. And-and-" Tears choked the words from her throat, and Sirius immediately wrapped his arms her. She felt the strong brotherly comfort that she'd only ever experienced from him. James comforted her in a lot of ways, yes, but Sirius was like the older sibling Petunia neglected to be her whole life.

"What are we going to do about it?" The automatic jump to 'we' was automatic. Of course it was we, she had told Sirius.

"We can't tell him!"

Sirius pulled away. "Lily, we have to tell James."

"We can't."

"It's his," Sirius insisted, before he squinted leaning away skeptically. "Unless... it's not?"

"No, Merlin, no," Lily shook her head, and Sirius relaxed. "It's definitely James'."

"Then he needs to know." He comfortingly rubbed her arm.

"Not yet,"

Sirius snorted, poking her in the side. "I think eventually, he'll start to notice."

"I'm going to tell him," She winced. "Just, not today."

"Lily!"

Lily turned at the sound of her name, heart beginning to race. There he was, the man of the hour. The one she'd been avoiding all week. She even purposely woke up earlier than he usually did, stared determinedly straight ahead in classes with him, and ducked into whatever unused classroom was closest whenever he caught up with her in the halls. She didn't have to fake an illness to avoid the prefect meeting earlier that afternoon because Lily spent most of the time huddled over the toilet in her dorm.

There was no avoiding him now. The corridor was empty and she could see the ruddy Marauders Map in his hands.

"James," She greeted in a strangled sort of voice.

He stopped a few feet from her, which was odd because he usually left little to no space between their bodies. His expression was closed off, timid, probably because Lily had been cold. She wanted to desperately to reach out and touch his cheek or hold his hand, but at his sudden unexpected appearance there was an uncomfortable twisting in Lily's gut. Her eyes sought out the closest bathroom or broom closet that she could be sick in without raising suspicion.

"Are you mad at me?" James blurted suddenly, running a nervous hand through his hair.

"Of course not," She shook her head.

"Why are you avoiding me?" He looked up, his eyes sad.

"I just can't be near you now,"

"Oh," His face fell.

Avoiding him won't make you less pregnant,her subconscious reminded her. Merlin, she knew that but... she just couldn't face him knowing that something was growing inside of her, living, and it was half him and half her. And he had no idea. He thought she was mad. He probably thought she was going to break up with him; Merlin, she'd been avoiding him enough. It had been a week, and Sirius hadn't said a word. Her dorm mates seemed oblivious enough, so there was no trouble there.

"James?"

"Yes?"

Why did he have to look so bloody adorable all the time? "I love you."

He relaxed, but the worry lines on his forehead didn't vanish completely. "I love you too, Lils."

She wanted to run to him, close the infuriating amount of space between them and snog him senseless. She wanted to tell him everything, and have him hold her and tell her it was alright.

But she couldn't. Not yet.

So she walked away.

The Common Room was quiet enough for a Wednesday night, and Lily found solace in the fire. She sat in the chair that allowed her to be closest and read. The book was a muggle classic, The Scarlet Letter. Lily couldn't help feeling a connection with Hester Prynne. They, after all, were going through very similar things, except Lily hadn't slept with the minister. Nor had she moved to a house in the woods, separating herself from everyone. And she highly doubted she would die a saint, in fact, Lily doubted she would be revered at all when she died.

She did understand Hester's loneliness. Lily hadn't spoken to James or Marlene or Mary, or any of her friends save for Sirius since she'd found out. It wasn't her plan to withdraw from everyone, but part of her just didn't want to think about the fact that she was pregnant. She had essentially thrown her entire life off track because she wasn't careful. And now she was hormonal, and could really only cry to Sirius.

Shutting her book, Lily sighed and tucked her legs beneath her. There were a lot of things she really didn't want to think about, and death and pregnancy were most of them.

"Lily?" She jumped, not having expected anyone to bother her. Marlene and Mary were both standing awkwardly, watching her. Marlene tugged on the ends of her hair and Mary bit at her nails, both telltale signs that they were nervous.

"How are you?" Marlene asked.

"Fine," Lie.

"Classes alright?"

"Sure,"

"Is your family-"

"Are you cheating on James with Sirius?" Mary blurted, stunning the underclassmen that were left into silence. Slowly, they all filtered out, sensing that it was probably not best to be in the Common Room just then.

"Mary," Marlene hissed. "What happened to the plan?"

"Wait, hold on," Lily held up her hands, forcing her friends to backtrack. "What the bloody hell are you talking about?"

"You and Sirius," Marlene clarified.

"What about us?"

"Are you...together?" Mary piped.

"No! He's my boyfriend's best mate," Lily grimaced. "He's... he's Sirius!"

"So you're not-"

"No!"

"And you never-"

"Not even once!"

They both looked extremely relieved. Marlene perched on the arm rest of Lily's chair, and Mary sat in front of her. "Then why are you ignoring everyone?" Mary asked.

"It's... complicated."

"Are you sick?"

"Something like that."

"What do you mean?" Marlene asked.

"I'm..." Lily hesitated. Did she want to tell Marlene and Mary? They were her best friends and would definitely be there for her, but Mary was also never one for secrets. She couldn't keep one to save her life, and was actually the one who let slip to James that Lily fancied him.

"You're what?" Marlene's question shook Lily from her pondering.

"Nothing," She covered quickly, looking back to her book.

"It can't be that bad." Marlene scoffed. "It's not like you're pregnant or something."

Lily paled.

"Oh my Godric Gryffindor," Mary gasped. "You are! You're-" She lowered her voice. "-pregnant."

"Please don't tell James." Lily whispered.

"So it's his?"

"Of bloody course it's his," Lily smacked Marlene in the arm. "Why does everyone think immediately that it's not?"

"Oh that's easy," Mary perked, ticking the reasons off. "Because you're avoiding him. You spend most of your time alone or with Sirius. You haven't ruddy told him yet-I'm assuming you've known for a little over a week-"

"Mary?" Marlene interrupted.

"Yeah?"

"Shut up,"

Mary did as told. All three girls sat in silence, Marlene wrapping a comforting arm around Lily's shoulders. Lily really did wonder why she hadn't told her best friends.

It was Saturday now, a Hogsmeade weekend, and Lily felt ill. Really ill. Bloody morning sickness. Marlene sat with her in bed, eating all sorts of muggle and wizarding candy. She'd stopped avoiding James, but it was still awkward around him. Luckily, Marlene was very good at throwing an excuse his way to get Lily away. Mary was down in the Great Hall getting them breakfast, and dropping an excuse to why Lily couldn't make it to Hogsmeade with James as planned.

"I'm going to pee," Lily announced, pushing herself off of the bed.

"I'm going to eat the rest of your chocolate frog, then." Marlene called and Lily laughed. Once Lily was in the bathroom, Marlene did just that. She reached out to grab another before noticing a funny stain where Lily had just been sitting. Suddenly there was a shout from the bathroom. Marlene jumped up, going very quickly to the door.

"Lily, what's wrong?"

"Can you-can you grab me some knickers please?" Came the shaky reply.

"Sure, love," Marlene went to Lily's trunk, pulling out a pair of panties. She knocked on the bathroom door and tentatively Lily opened it and grabbed them. "Are you going to tell me what's wrong?"

"In a minute," Lily said shutting the door again. True to her word, a minute later Lily opened the door again. In her hand was presumably the pair of knickers she'd just been wearing. She held them up expectantly to Marlene, waiting for her to get it. There was nothing wrong with them aside from the fresh blood stain.

"So what, you got your period?"

Lily looked at her significantly.

Finally, it clicked in Marlene's head, and she took hold of Lily's arms. "You got your period?" Her voice came out in the breathy whisper, and all Lily could do was nod.

"I DON'T RUDDY CARE IF SHE DOESN'T WANT TO SEE ME, MARY."

Both girls jumped as the shout drifted up the stairs, along with the heavy steps of what sounded like more than one person. The door to the girls' dorm burst open and in came a very put out looking James Potter. Behind him trailed Mary and the rest of the Marauders. In her shock, Lily dropped her soiled knickers.

"For the record, Evans, I wasn't the one who told him." Sirius shouted, sending an accusatory glance at Mary.

"Lily," James nearly growled. His voice was angry. His whole demeanor was angry. Everything but his eyes, which betrayed fear and something like wonder.

"James," Lily breathed, moving forward like North pulled to South on a magnet.

He caught her in his arms, hands coming to rest on either side of her face. His thumb stroked over her cheek. "You're pregnant." It wasn't a question. "Why didn't you want to see me?"

"I didn't know what to tell you," Lily stared into his eyes. "It's your life I'm ruining too."

"You didn't think I needed to know?"

"That's not it,"

"Lily, you're pregnant." James sighed.

"I'm not,"

"What do you mean you're not?" James's voice rose loud enough to carry through the entire dorm.

"What?" Mary's jaw dropped.

"Lily?" Sirius raised an eyebrow, dubiously. Leave it to Sirius to think she was lying.

"I just ran up all of those stairs for nothing?" Peter complained loudly. "Fuck this; I'm going to finish my breakfast. Congratulations, or something, Lily." Remus and Sirius muttered similar sentiments and followed Peter out.

"I'm not pregnant."

"But you told Sirius-"

"She just got her period, James." Marlene gestured to the bloody knickers.

"Oh," He nodded. "Oh, oh."

"But wait, you felt sick?" Mary pointed out. "What was that, the flu?"

"PMS, probably." Marlene shrugged. "Sometimes I get sick."

Relief visibly rocked through James. He kissed Lily very tenderly before pulling away and laughing. "Lily, when we're married, if you get pregnant, please don't tell Sirius first and hide it from me?"

"I won't."

A/N- written per request on tumblr, and posted here because I can. Sorry this sucks.

If you're reading Azkaban Asylum, there won't be an update for two weeks because I'm going to Guatemala and then Prom!