He watches her a lot.
Oh, it's not in that creepy stalkerish way. He wouldn't follow her home from school unless she specifically asked him to. And then, probably not, because he'd faint from happiness that she was talking to him. But no, he isn't stalking her, and he isn't spying on her, and he definitely isn't collecting little tidbits she'd throw away and keeping them in some kind of misguided shrine to her. If he ever got that way, he'd hope someone would stop him. Violently if necessary.
He just... he likes her. There. He admitted it. He likes her, and has ever since she walked into the classroom that fateful day and sat down and turned her attention to the teacher. He'd never been distracted in class before, even if he wasn't the most perfect student, but he found his eyes were drawn to her, where her short hair (an entrancing color) met the nape of her neck in little wispy strands. He tried to pass her off as a know-it-all snob, someone who would be impersonal and cold when spoken to. That image flew right out the window when she turned, saw him, and smiled shyly.
So he watches her. At first, it was wary. So many had smiled and used him to get by until she made friends, then left him behind as if he hadn't existed. Time went on, and she gained her circle of friends, but instead of the expected shunning, there is still a smile for him when she passes.
Oh, he has no delusions. She is not inviting him to be her boyfriend, or even hang out with her. She is... just being friendly. But it's enough to keep his interest. It's enough to draw his eyes to her whenever she came into sight, and keep him glancing in her direction until she's gone.
He watches, and admires, and keeps his attraction to her a secret as much as any young student possibly can, all the while keeping himself from the Bad Place. The line from Admiration and Attraction to Obsession and danger is a thin one, but he is well on the right side of it. Still... in his imagination, when he feels it safe enough, he can see her hand in his, a smile on her face, a special one for him only, perhaps her waist snug in the crook of his arm. It's a nice thought, and he imagines they would look good together.
But no. She's out of his league, and he knows it. He'd rather be her friend, if he can manage it, and watch her... care for her... from afar if he can't. There aren't many openings. She has friends that protect her if she needs it (which, to be honest, he could only make the stand for a few seconds until he was pushed away, and then it would be however long whatever attacker might want to take before he was knocked unconscious, just to get him out of the way...), and friends to laugh with, and she goes out some nights (which he only knows because she talks to her friends before and after class, and she is only two desks in front of him, so of course he hears) so she must have a boyfriend or girlfriend or whatever it is she prefers (he finds that this doesn't matter to how he feels, because he can care for her and smile back and not get jealous since she's so far out of his league).
She's in view now, and he looks (of course), but something is wrong. None of her friends are around. Her face is distant. His heart goes out to her, and he can't reel it in because he's already on his feet, watching her as he approaches, just waiting for the spurning and dismissive look that will drive him away.
It never comes, not even when he is right there next to her, crouching, and speaking her name past the huge lump of fear in his throat.
"Ami?"
She looks up, and he braces himself unconsciously. He doesn't trust, doesn't even realize that he doesn't trust until she bravely tries to put her usual smile on her sad face. His heart breaks for her all over, and he wills himself to relax.
"You OK?" Some weird analytical part of his brain notices that he is much more casual with her now than in class, but he wills that part of him still.
She is on the verge of a nod, but then her face crumples and she has to hide her face again. He nods, once, biting his lip. "No, obviously not, huh?" After a moment in which Ami composes herself, he offers, tentatively. "What's wrong?"
She has to think about it, which sets his wary side ("She's going to tell you to leave!") and his analytical part ("It seems she is being polite in not gushing at you...") send out their separate warnings and are stilled by a mental act of will. "My... friends went out somewhere last night. I stayed behind. They're not here, and I don't... I..." She chokes on her words, and he licks his lips, frustrated at his impotence.
"I mean... maybe they just had a rough night and forgot to call..?" This brings out a laugh from her, half hysterical and half tortured, and she slaps her hand over her mouth, her shoulders shaking. Tears began to leak out of her blue eyes. He swallows, wanting to reach out and comfort her, but not knowing exactly how or even if it was welcome.
"I'm so scared for them, Jaima." The fact that she knows his name sends a jolt through him, but he fights past the euphoric haze that threatens to overwhelm him. This, comforting Ami, is much more important.
"Well," he offers, grasping at straws, "I can help you go look for them after..." He trailed off. She was shaking her head, looking at him, past the haunted glaze she had felt, and biting her lip (in a most adorable way, his affection told him despite the fact that he was pointedly Not Looking).
"No... No, I... you don't understand. You can't possibly. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have put this on you, and you're really being so nice right now, I just... I'm worried. I'm sorry."
She's pulling into herself, putting up a barrier of ice that doesn't really fit her. He looks in her eyes, and sees that she really doesn't want to push him away. It gives him the courage to try one more time.
"Well... how about some company?" She opens her mouth, and he puts up a hand, acting with confidence he doesn't feel. "I won't pry, and I won't follow you if you decide to look for them yourself. Just... It's better not to wait alone, right?"
She looks at him again, past her fear and worry and maybe even hurt, and slowly, with a sad smile, nods. "All right, then," she says, so properly, primly, in a way that would be funny from most of the girls at this school, but to her fits her like her blue hair and eyes do.
He nods and sits next to her, not really knowing what to say, or having anything to say. She doesn't ask him to. She doesn't fidget, except to wring her fingers together once in a moment.
As lunch time ends, she reaches out and presses her palm to the back of his hand. "Thank you. Can..." She is tentative, timid, and he looks up from their hands. "Can you walk me home..? After school?"
He doesn't hesitate, but nods, slowly, swallowing to buy time. "Yeah. Sure." He smiles at her, and she smiles back, and the bell rings to announce that it's time to go back inside.
On the way home, her phone rings. It looks expensive, and complicated, but she flips it open expertly, looking at him with a mixture of fear and hope that makes him want to hug her. "Where are you?" He can't hear the other end, but she looks at him, biting her lip, breathing a sigh of relief. "I'm on my way home. A friend is with me. I'm... No, I'm fine now. I was... well, I was worried about you," she says, her brow furrowing just a little. It relaxes. "OK, Rei. Get rest. Tell the others we'll meet tomorrow. No, go to sleep." There is a pause, in which she swallows thickly and catches a gulp of air. "I'm glad all of you are OK."
She hangs up, closing her eyes and holding her phone to her chest until her hand stops it's trembling. When she looks up, her eyes are rimmed with wetness but she is smiling. "They're OK," she whispers, to herself, Jaima thinks, but then she grabs his hand and giggles catching him by surprise. "I'm so relieved..!"
"Me too," he says. The wariness is rising in him again, but he denies it any expression in his voice or face. She smiles up at him, wipes her eyes, and continues on. He wouldn't follow. Not at all. Except that she's still holding his hand, and when he hesitates, she looks back and blushes.
"Thank you for being my friend today, Jaima." She tugs, very softly, and that is all the encouragement he needs to fall into step beside her.
"Anytime, Ami." He can't stop smiling. And he won't stop watching.
OK, first: This was done WITHOUT my chosen Beta, Invaderk. So if there are grammar problems or something that just jars, it's my fault, not hers.
Second: Blame RadiantBeam. The girl writes lovely, beautiful things and I get inspired. I worked on this instead of the Avatar Snare. Because she wrote a Sailor Moon fic, and it reminded me that I love the senshi, too ;;
Third: The character, Jaima, is an OC, so don't look for him in canon. His name is derived from my personal character who actually married Ami Mizuno in a huge Anime Crossover RP I was involved in for years. This is not him. I just used the name because I wanted something I could identify with (my first anime crush was Ami :P) He is, slightly, a Maury John, and has some characteristics of myself. Also, he is not meant to be creepy, so... if he came across that way, it's probably my fault and not his.
Enjoy! ;;
