One-shot

Characters: Banner, Stark, Rogers

Genre: Humour, friendship

Rating: K


Nightmares and Coffee

Boom. Boom. Boom.

Banner opened his eyes. Above him hung a yellow star, a crescent moon and a plump cow. To anyone else, the sight of these plastic toys on waking up would be very peculiar indeed. Banner though, couldn't care less. He slowly sat up and pulled his blanket closer to his face. He was petrified as he stared at the door. He could feel the sweat start to bead on his back before it even started beading. The sight of your closed bedroom door in the middle of the night mixed with slow knocks against its frame would be enough to scare the willies out of anyone. But the green glow that was seeping through the bottom gap of the door was something else entirely.

Nevertheless, the curious mind of Banner had him climbing out of bed and walking towards the unknown.

Boom. The sound came from the door and Banner froze like a statue. It was louder than before. Maybe it was because he was closer now.

Boom. Definitely louder.

There came angry rasping and a growl. Then a low and powerful roar that shook the walls. Hung pictures around him fell to the ground.

The door exploded off of its hinges revealing a giant shadowed creature that stood with glowing green eyes—breathing deeply and monstrously. Banner woke up, feeling the cold sweat on the pillow and sheets. A dream within a dream. That's the thing about nightmares. It doesn't matter how ridiculous or illogical they are, you always feel like you're fighting for your life.

. . .

Banner sipped his coffee, placed it on the counter, and after a long pause, added more sugar.

"So…" Tony looked to the ceiling. "It was you. I mean. The tall, dark and green version. The thing that came through the door."

Banner nodded, then frowned after sipping his coffee a second time.

"Hey. I warned you guys," Steve began. "I knew watching four of those horror movies one after the other was a bad idea. Look at what it's done to Bruce. He's traumatized. I blame the movie with that claw guy killing people in their nightmares. Freud Cougar or whatever his name was." As Rogers talked, he stared at the side of a toaster, sifting a comb through his hair like stroking the same thirty strands a hundred times was going to make a world's difference.

"Princess, it's pronounced Freddy Krueger." Tony frowned. "I'm actually surprised you aren't traumatized. It must have been like rape and all degrees of assault on your eyes."

"As a soldier, I've experienced most of it first hand, remember?"

Tony half nodded, then paused in thought.

"Not the rape and assault…"

Banner smiled between sips.

"So," Tony said to Banner, "what is your professional opinion?"

"About?"

"Yourself."

"I've had these dreams before. The big guy wants out. Whenever I don't give him enough playtime in the real world, he gives me a kick in the nuts in the dreamworld."

There was a moment of silence as Tony and Steve contemplated in agreement.

Tony took a bite out of a chocolate dip donut and shook it in Banner's direction. "I know exactly what to get you for Christmas."

Banner chuckled and waved a hand as he could tell by his tone it was going to be something ridiculous. "Oh no, don't even think about building me anything, Tony Stark. I'll let you go as far as making me a mug that pours its own coffee—"

"Super stretchy underpants?" Steve chimed in.

"But nothing that can potentially turn evil and commit mass murder."

"Aww," Tony moaned, "but those are the most fun." He turned to Steve and winked. "Hey cutie, come here. I want to tell you my brilliant idea."

"Don't call me cutie, Tony."

"Just get over here."

Steve suspiciously stood beside Tony who pretended to plant a kiss on him, then proceeded to whisper in his hear. Steve jumped back. "Are you insane?"

"Sometimes," Tony said, unsurprised by his reaction.

Banner sighed. "Whatever it is, Tony, let's here it 'cause the rest of us aren't going to let it happen."

"You guys are kill-joys."

"If Thor can barely keep his other side in check, how do you think a metal cage is going to fair?" Steve said.

Banner frowned. "Cage?"

"He wants to build your other self a 'playground' to release the tension." Steve crossed his arms. "Or in human logic, he wants to throw a red cape in front of you in the hopes you won't demolish New York City."

"Correction," Tony said. "A really, really, smart red cape. Sure, some of my experiments end up taking over the world, but let's be serious. In between the times we save the world, big and green over here has nothing better to do than to torture average-and-nerdy. How often are these nightmares happening?"

Banner glanced at the counter, giving the answer away.

"Trust me. It'll be like kiddy land for the big guy. There'll be holographic scenery so it won't feel like a cage, lots of robots to grind into pieces. I might throw in a few zoo animals for that genuine gore effect."

"Tony," Steve scolded.

"And best of all," he nudged Steve, "sparring partner for the newbies."

Banner could feel the excitement at being able to freely smash things start to grow like a warm balloon in his chest. Logically it made sense, but would it work? More importantly, could Tony build something that could contain him on a daily basis? It seemed each time he Hulked-out, he would gain a grain of control over his anger. Maybe Tony's ridiculous idea required consideration. Banner sipped his coffee to hide a grin.

"Ahhh, I saw that!"

"Are you seriously considering this?" Steve asked.

"Yes, actually, zoo animals aside. It might reduce the chances of me losing control when I don't want to lose control if my anger is given an outlet." He set his mug down and looked sternly at Stark. "But, I am building this with you all the way."

"No."

"Yes."

"Excellent!" Tony said. He started rubbing his hands.

"This is what happens when Tony is bored," said Steve as he sat back down and opened the newspaper.

"Trust me pally. You aren't going to regret this."

The trio continued their morning chat in the Avenger's Tower as the hustle and bustle of New York City sounded below.