A/N: I thought of this little humor fic while wrapping chrissy presents. Hope you guys enjoy! MERRY CHRISTMAS ALL!
DISCLAIMER: do not own Supernatural or anything Dr. Seuss! Just borrowing! This fic is kind of a Xover with everything Dr. Seuss I can think of at 1 am on Christmas morning, but mostly The Grinch.
A Supernatural Dr. Seuss-mass
Sam I am and Dean the Mean;
Sammy does not like green eggs and ham; Sam I am is not a man,
But Dean the mean likes all that's green, he's not like Sam.
He'll eat the damn green eggs and ham!
Sam I am and Dean the mean, were driving in their mean machine, the Chevy with a shine so shiny, Dean can't stand a Sam that's whiny.
This story starts, on a sunny day that is sunny:
Dean has done something hilariously funny,
Sammy just growls and stares out the glass
And murmurs a threat to kick his ass.
Dean the mean just snorts his mean snortness and turns back to the road,
In his glorious shortness,
With three days till Christmas, Dean thinks in his mind:
"A present for a whiny bitch, what will I find?"
Then an ominous ring, Sammy answers the phone, mutters greetings to Bobby, then lets out a groan,
"Somebody has stolen presents, but what can that mean? And they where stolen by something that's hairy and green?"
Dean the mean chuckles and turns in for Gas,
And to look for something to celebrate Christmas…
But the food is all gone, all the alcohol stolen; the poor gas attendant was all puffy and swollen.
The maggots, by now have eaten his meat, the only thing left, the shoes on his feet.
Dean pulls a face and turns to the Sam.
"Sam I think something used this man for ham,"
"Dude, you're so rhyming,"
"No I am not,"
"Yes you so are, you've been doing it a lot,"
"Bitch,"
"Jerk,"
While this banter was bantering, something watched from afar, something mean, green and hairy, from behind a wrecked car.
He lurked almost quietly and turned to the screen;
"Lurk…" he muttered, then with a grin,
stole a piece of scrap fruit skin from the trash bin.
Meanwhile, back in the Chev that is black, Sam was most angry cuz Dean had been slack.
He was just pouting while Dean had been shouting,
All had gone quiet and that was that.
In this quiet, they agreed, they'd go and help Bobby from this evil green greed.
They got to the car yard, tired and raked, to a bottle of bear and a couple of steaks.
While they ate the greasy meal, Bobby told them of the Christmas steal.
"All their presents were gone, and their fairy lights too. And the tinsel and tree and even the food.
The wreath from the door was ripped clean off, even the bin food that had gone off.
Christmas is ruined, everything's gone, what shall we do? Its all gone wrong!"
Sam I am smiled, and Dean the mean laughed.
"We'll get this green stealer and kick his ass!"
"Where do we go?" Sam asked most politely.
"To Crumpit, in Who-Ville," Bobby replied lightly.
They stared at each other, they knew who this was, but how and why, that was the puzzle.
At that moment they knew, that this would be cinch, but really, could it truly be…The Grinch?
They drove the Chevy, to the snowy who town, Almost sick, when there wasn't a frown. It was all colors and brightness and Cheer, Dean nearly pulled out his
gun in fear.
Thankfully Sam stopped him from wasting a who, but instead got directions to see 'you know who,'
"He's up on Crumpit," Cindy Lou said, smiling and winking her little who head.
Dean almost cried as the girl kissed his cheek, he'd be scrubbing that spot week upon week.
The people of Who-Ville where as nice as they came, but Dean the mean swore, he'd never turn that way.
So without further trouble and without looking behind, they trudged up to Crumpit with one thing on their mind.
They loaded their guns and banged on the door, and threatened mean threats and spat and swore.
The Mean Green Grinch opened the door and stood with a frown and his hands on his hips.
"What can I do?" he hissed through his mean green lips.
Dean unlocked the safety and pointed the gun at his chest.
"Give us back Christmas and yeah…all the rest,"
With a shudder and a nod, the green Grinch complied, handing the presents and the ham, that was fried.
"Have it , take it, have it all! I've even got food if you want more!"
So the boys saved Christmas and took back all the who's joy, and gave all the who children, all the who toys.
And they ate, and drunk and played all day long, before disappearing to a classic rock song.
That is the end of the Christmas story, and Dean got Sam a whore that was whory. Sam sent her away, and Dean took her back, and they lived happily ever
after, and that's a fact!
I know that was probably lame, but meh! It's Christmas! Hope you guys enjoyed! Review please! It's Christmas Day!!!