Summary: In the midst of London's final battle, just before the push to the beam, Javik gives Shepard his memory shard and encourages her to add to it. Javik finds her (and the shard) when the remains of the Citadel crash back to earth and he's the only one who can decipher what the shard contains. What did Shepard find worthy enough to record in her final moments?

Warnings: Major character death, potentially lots of sadness, though hopefully not a lot in the way of angst. Spoilers for 'From Ashes...' DLC and the original Bioware ME3 ending.

Disclaimer: Mass Effect belongs to EA and Bioware, I'm just grateful they let me play in the sandbox. There is one line of dialogue in chapter 6 borrowed directly from the ME3 - you'll know it when you see it.

AN: Written for the 2013 Mass Effect Big Bang. There's some wonderful companion art to this piece, drawn by the lovely and talented Minque, who did an absolutely amazing job. I'd link them here if I could, and I highly recommend you check AO3 or the MEBB LJ community for links to the artwork, since they make everything come alive in a really wonderful way. Not related to any of my other fics. For you DK fans...I'm working on it, I promise. In the meantime, enjoy-and hey, this one's a completed piece!

Chapter 1 - "I have found her."

Javik was the first one to find her body, buried in rubble, her armor scorched nearly beyond recognition. He had already known that Shepard was gone, he'd been able to sense it: a low and mournful note passing like warm velvet over his skin. That he could feel it, taste it over the acrid bitterness that strangled the remains of the Citadel where it had crashed back down to Earth was a testament to the woman's incredible presence. She had sacrificed herself, but she'd known victory before her end had come, and she'd left this life satisfied that she'd been able to save them all, especially her crew, whom she considered her own.

For a moment, just a moment, he hated her with an intensity that burned brighter than all the stars in the galaxy. She had succeeded where he had failed, had turned back the Reapers to save her civilization, and had met her end on her own terms. His jealousy in that moment was as a sharp knife to his flesh, cutting deep before the pain of it made him realize he'd been cut at all.

It only took him a moment to recognize the shard he'd given to her on the eve of the final battle clutched tightly in her hand. Somehow, it was still whole and teeming with the essence of new memories. He reached for it, but paused - he could feel and hear the approach of the Normandy crew, and though he'd have time to tuck the shard away before calling out, he wasn't sure whether he'd want to subject himself to the onslaught of her memories, in spite of his curiosity about her final moments.

Hearing Major Alenko's voice echoing through the rubble decided for him, however.

Although he'd thought that their relationship had been weakness, that the distraction the Major afforded would cause the Reaper threat to spin out of control because Shepard's attention would be pulled away, Javik could admit now that he'd been wrong. It hadn't happened right away, but when the change had come, it had happened almost overnight; as soon as they had rekindled their relationship, Shepard's focus had sharpened. It was almost as if she'd bent her entire will on conquering the Reapers to ensure a life and a future for Alenko, whether or not she'd be a part of it.

It hadn't been simply the Major, though he had been a convenient scapegoat; there were others to whom Javik felt Shepard had been unduly attached. The fragile pilot, for one: in his time, so many thousands of years before, any being with a condition that could weaken them so severely would have been strangled in his crib or tossed out as fodder for whatever might come ravaging.

Human emotions were useless to him, something that he'd never fully understand, but he could appreciate the power and the strength that it had given her. Thus they all deserved to know what this shard held, Alenko more than most.

The voices of the rescue teams were growing closer. Javik yanked a bloodied and grimy piece of cloth from one of the unfortunates nearby to cover the shard and, as he quickly pulled it out of Shepard's hand, called out, "I have found her."

His words sparked the reaction he had known they would - shouting echoed through the rubble of the Citadel, followed by the swift and heavy footfalls of booted feet running toward him. Though Javik knew the other members of the rescue team had his location on their displays, he called out occasionally even so, providing a verbal confirmation to the technology.

Major Alenko and Lieutenant Vega were the first to arrive, and the N7 candidate had to act quickly to keep his companion on his feet once they saw Shepard's body, even as his own shoulders slumped.

"Aw hell, Lola," Vega muttered, shaking his head. His mouth opened and closed several times before it finally closed, lips pressed in a thin line as he visibly fought back his emotions.

Alenko, on the other hand, showed no such restraint; tears ran down his face unchecked, and he would have fallen again were it not for Vega's arm holding him up. He, too, was shaking his head and couldn't seem to stop, as if his vehement denial would change Shepard's fate.

Before any of them could speak, Cortez, Garrus, and Tali arrived, followed shortly by Liara, leading the remainder of the crew who were physically able to join in the search, and a team lead by Admiral Hackett. It seemed to Javik that the Admiral aged several years in mere moments once he caught sight of Shepard's body. He and the Commander's mother were close, Javik recalled; he imagined that Hackett would have to deliver the bad news to another of Shepard's loved ones before the day was through.

As he passed, the Admiral rested a brief hand on Alenko's shoulder and stood before Javik with a respectful nod. "Thank you for locating her. I only wish we'd been able to find her alive."

The Admiral's words prompted several choked-back cries from the small collective who had joined them. Hackett waved Vega forward, shaking his head at Kaidan as he, too, tried to step ahead. "Not now, son. Wait with the rest of the crew."

Javik was puzzled for a moment, until he heard the Admiral's low command to the Lieutenant. "Help me shift some of this crap off her so we can get her out of here."

Strong as he was, Vega's help proved invaluable in moving rubble, but Javik was surprised at how much Hackett had been able to contribute. He was still no fan of most primitives, this Admiral included, but he wasn't the feeble old man that the Prothean had been expecting.

Once the area had been cleared, Hackett motioned the medical team forward, and finally nodded at Alenko, who approached with reluctant steps. A wave of fresh tears filled the Major's eyes as he saw the extent of the damage to Shepard's armor, but he wiped them away swiftly. With the help of the medical personnel, he moved Shepard from the pile of rubble onto the stretcher they'd brought along with them.

Javik knew they'd been hoping she'd be alive when they found her, which is why they'd thought to bring the stretcher; even though she wasn't in the condition they'd hoped, at least they would be able to return her to her people with as much dignity as possible.

The rescue crew's demeanor was subdued as they picked their way back through the mess that was all that remained of the Citadel. When they neared the closest operating base, Hackett ordered the stretcher carrying Shepard's remains to be covered, and ordered the Normandy crew to return to their ship with her. "I'll handle all these vultures," the Admiral added. "And the few that are just waiting for word." With a final salute and nod of respect to the assorted crew, Hackett departed.

After the crew remained clustered around the stretcher showing no signs of moving for several minutes, Javik took charge. "Come," he said, as gently as he was able, reminding himself that their loss was fresh and delicate handling was called for. "Let us return to the ship."

His voice startled them into action; Vega and Alenko took the stretcher, while Garrus, Tali, Cortez, and Liara trailed immediately behind. The others stepped in front to clear the path, though Hackett had already drawn their attention, it seemed, for they did not meet anyone else on their way back to the Normandy.

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