CHAPTER 1
Liam was certain it was the first day of summer. He knew how many days exactly passed since the world came to an end - it was exactly 126 days and that made this morning be the very first day of summer. Of course, world didn't end, that's just how Louis once referred to that horrible, chilling to the bones day, but Liam had to agree with his friend there – it did feel like it was the end of the world.
Liam glanced through the gap in the wooden planks of this barely standing, half-broken shack they were living for the past two months and all seemed calm. He heard the calm united breathing of four of his friends and closed his eyes for a moment longer.
There was no more point to stall, he knew. They had to get moving. And it sent a cold fear down his whole body even thinking about that.
Miraculously this night he didn't dream of piles of bodies in the stadium, girls as young as 8 lying motionless, starring at nothing with glassy, unseeing eyes. He didn't dream of Louis climbing over bloody corpses towards the VIP seating area in search of his mother, stepfather and six siblings. And he definitely was relieved to be spared of seeing Louis discover them one by one, hysterical with grief and shaking so much he wasn't even able to stand up for a long time afterwards.
Not that Liam can ever forget the heart wrenching inhuman sounds that escaped Louis' mouth that night. Sometimes he has nightmares just about that and even though he wakes up and tries to shake them off, after falling asleep they just continue from where they stopped.
Liam sighs and opens his eyes.
„Can't sleep?"
Liam jumps a little and turns to look at the voice, even though he recognized it and knew nobody sneaked in into their little hideout.
„Sorry, didn't mean to scare you" Niall was smiling sheepishly at him, lying on his back.
„Not anymore" Liam answered.
„Do we still have any breakfast today?"
„There's tea and some –"
„Don't tell me canned beans!" Niall cried in exasperation.
„Well, then don't ask" Liam laughed quietly.
Truth was they were lucky they had that at all. They raided an abandoned gas station a couple of months ago. It was empty and seemed abandoned and they almost left, but Niall spotted a lock behind one of the cupboards and they managed to break down the door. They found a small dry store full of canned food, mostly beans and tuna. They stole all of it, needed four raids back and forth, but it was worth it. So far, rationing the food they managed it to last them for two months. But the supply was drying out now.
„Remember when we found that vending machine?" Niall asked dreamily. „All those Snickers bars..."
Niall ran his hand through his unevenly dyed blond hair. It wasn't surprising that when they went to look for food, Niall always found blond hair dye just lying around scattered around the shelves. That wasn't a necessity and it just lay abandoned. Liam guessed that dying his hair blond was a way to pass the time for Niall and the only thing resembling normalcy that Niall could find, the only thing that remained from their life before. So he didn't begrudge this to Niall. And he cut Harry's hair when it got too long with small, rusty pocket knife that they found in this shack. He cut all of their hair except Zayn's who, even in this hopeless situation, tried to keep up his flawless looks. That was Zayn's way of coping with things, Liam gathered.
„Yeah, good times..." Liam said, his gaze slipping over Niall to Harry, then Louis and lastly Zayn. They slept on the floor, the only thing that softened their nights were some cardboard boxes laid on the ground. They did manage to find some sheets and clothes and they managed to make something resembling five small blankets for them out of that. It still was far better than sleeping in the sewers and the basements the first two months. He still was sometimes amazed how they managed to come out alive from all of it. It was cold and wet and they barely had any food or water. Niall got sick four times, Zayn sprained his ankle and had a concussion trying to get them food and medicine, Liam himself barely managed to avoid being shot – all he remembers is seeing a man in a red uniform and he ran for his life, shots hitting all around him and under his feet, one bullet scraped his thigh, but he never stopped – Harry a constant silent presence patiently helping all of them and never complaining. And Louis... Well, for the first few very long weeks Louis was a dead weight to them, stalling them, keeping them back, not being in their way, but also not cooperating, not making their escape from the city easy or quick.
In fact, they couldn't run away like that at all, so they hid as best as they could, trying to find the warmest places to sleep in the cold February weather, but none of them knew Detroit and it was survival at its most cruelest.
„What's on your mind, Liam?" Niall asked, noticing the somber look on Liam's face.
„We'll talk after lunch."
Niall nodded reluctantly, still looking and Liam. He knew what was on his friend's mind – it was on all their minds – but he hoped they would delay it, not talk about it just yet, not just yet.
„Right, ok" he said instead and got up quietly to go for a morning wee.
oOoOoOo
They sat inside the shack in circle around a small, already dying fire, sharing two cups of tea which they passed to each other and three cans of cold beans. Niall was chewing them with distaste, but it was a sight they all were used to by now. They were just happy they had food at all.
Liam was already done with his portion and was just sitting with a metal cup of hot, bitter tea in his hand, passing it to Zayn from time to time when he wanted to wash the cold beans down.
Harry was sitting close to Louis, holding a can in his hand and sharing one fork with Louis. They took turns eating, one bite each and sipping tea that Niall passed to them. Harry had his hair in a tight bun as always, his white shirt still the same from 126 days ago, the same one he wore to a show that night, the same one that got stained with Louis family's blood and couldn't' be washed in the cold water. The same one with a bloody print of Louis' palm.
Louis was starring at his hands on his lap and accepting the fork Harry passed to him after each bite. He desperately needed a shave, but all they could do was try cutting some of the longest hair out with he same rusty pocket knife. The other boys spend hours trying to shave their faces clean, but Louis didn't seem to care. So he was left with the longish unkempt hair and stubble on his face. He huddled into a hoody Harry found in the rubbish and washed thoroughly. His jeans were black, but bloodstains that didn't wash could still be seen.
Louis was a quiet presence these last few months, but at least he started talking, started moving, started helping out with the food. The very last time Niall got sick and was constantly coughing and shivering under the thin blankets, was the first time Louis got up by himself and stayed next to Niall the whole time, trying to warm him up, getting him water and trying to help him get better, even though there wasn't much he could do.
Since then it was almost two months. Two months of having all of the boys more or less not falling apart anymore.
Harry took the last bite of the beans he scraped from the can and put the can on the ground. Niall passed him tea and Harry took a large sip then passed what remained of it to Louis, but Louis just shook his head. Harry offered it to Niall, but Niall declined as well, so Harry finished the tea and put the cup next to the can as well.
„I want to talk to you, guys" Liam slowly said, lifting his eyes and looking at his friends.
Harry turned to him questioningly, but Louis kept his eyes on his hands resting on his lap. Niall just nodded and Zayn eyed him for a moment, returning back to stare at his tea. Liam knew the same thing was on all their minds for the last few weeks.
„We cannot stay here longer" Liam said. A simple fact all of them knew.
Food was running dangerously low. The only thing they had plenty was water that they got from a small sink in the shack. The tap in the sink was miraculously still working. They were fine now, safe from the danger of freezing to death, but summer was not eternal and winter would be upon them again. And luck might run out one day as well – they were so fortunate that nobody ever stumbled upon them in these two months they've been hiding here, mostly because this half-broken shack didn't look like a shelter from the outside at all. But how long was it going to last?
The five of them knew all that and Liam didn't need to explain. There was something else he had to explain instead of that.
„What do you suggest?" Harry asked tentatively.
„I suggest we head east to New York."
„You have any idea where it is? How to get there?" Harry asked.
„It's in the East, Harry" Zayn said. „We just head that direction and we're bound to stumble upon some road signs."
„Isn't that dangerous?" Niall asked quietly. „I mean, walking on the road just like that."
„I suppose it is..." Liam said reluctantly.
„But we can't just sit here" Zayn said. „At least we need to know what's happening in the world now. Maybe it's better, maybe there is a place we can go to get deported back to UK. Maybe now things are not as... chaotic as they were. They might let us go back. Or maybe we'll get lucky and find a working phone, anything that could help us contact our families back home, ask for help."
Liam nodded.
„Seems like you and Liam talked it over already" Harry said, looking at them.
„Yeah, we did discuss it" Liam said. „I needed to know I wasn't the only one thinking we need to get going."
„I know we do" Harry said, looking at Liam. „I'm just... scared" he whispered the last word as if ashamed.
„Hey, mate, we all are" Zayn said, putting his hand on Harry's shoulder and patting it. „But if we stay here..."
Zayn trailed off, didn't finish for the sake of Louis, for the sake of all of them.
Captured, tortured, humiliated, shot – the likeliest scenario to happen to them if they ever got caught by the Awakening Army.
„So who's for leaving?" Liam asked and raised his hand.
Zayn nodded and Niall did so as well, though quite reluctantly. Harry hesitated one more second, but uttered a quiet 'yeah' and nodded. He turned to look at Louis still starring at the hands on his lap.
„Lou?" Harry asked, gently placing his hand on Louis' ones. „You with us?"
Louis raised his head slowly and looked at Harry, then at Liam sitting across from him.
„Yeah, I'm with you" he said quietly, nodding slightly.
„Right then" Liam said and stood up. „We need some kind of plan first. I suggest we work through it for the next couple of days, get ready first and then leave."
„Sounds like a plan" Harry nodded and looked at Louis. „Innit, Lou?"
But Louis was starring at his lap again and at Harry's big hand, placed gently on top of his two smaller ones.
oOoOoOo
In the end they decided to travel during the day. They weren't sure if traveling by night would be safer or not. On one hand, they wouldn't be seen easily, but on the other hand, they wouldn't be able to see red uniformed soldiers easily as well. And maybe five young men looking like they just crawled out of the ditch where they spent the last decade, creeping around at night would look even more suspicious. And none of the boys knew what was happening in the outskirts of Detroit, much less the world. So if it will look too dangerous, they will change their plans and will travel by night.
They took the biggest sheets they had and put all the food and other few meager essential belongings they still had, then took all four corners of the sheets and tied them together, making a sort of a bag that they could carry over their shoulders.
Also, they sat down and came up with a story. They were students who were studying in Detroit (unfortunately, none of them knew any universities and could not google anything) when it all happened. Since they were foreign students, none of them had where to go, so they just ran away from the city and are now trying to get back home to UK.
That's the story for those who would not recognize them as the One Direction boys. If they would be recognized, they had no idea what would happen to them. They once escaped the soldiers of the Awakening Army at the stadium. That was purely a miracle or a great stroke of luck. Caught a second time they doubted they'd be that lucky again. And having caught five international music stars from UK might be something the Awakening Army might be interested to get their hands on and exploit.
They didn't know what they were expecting to find or to achieve. But hiding away and being barely alive from starvation and cold was not an option either. At least maybe they will be lucky to find out what's happening in the USA where they got stuck and maybe they would even get a glimpse of what's happening in the world, especially in the UK. Maybe they will stumble upon a way to get home. Any of that certainly won't happen if they stay hidden in that shack.
So after two more days they felt they were as prepared to leave as they'll ever be. Each of the boys had a small makeshift bag from sheets over their shoulders and that was that.
They went out in the field and started walking east. After the massacre in the arena they ran from it following the Lake Erie. Niall knew that, because out of boredom on a plane he looked at the map of Detroit and found a Brest Bay south of the arena where they were supposed to perform. He found it quite hilarious and examined the map closer. He couldn't remember much now, but he did know that the Brest Bay was south of the arena in the Lake Erie. If they would walk keeping to the shore of the lake, they would slowly make a circle until they faced east. And east was what they needed.
None of them had any idea how long it would take them to walk to New York, but they were prepared for weeks and weeks of travelling. Zayn mumbled something about stealing a car, but Harry immediately refused the idea. Not only because stealing was wrong, but because they would become an obvious target then. Now if they caught the attention of the Awakening Army soldiers', it would be by accident. But if they stole a car, they would put themselves on the map.
Liam was not entirely sure he agreed with Harry, but decided not to comment at the moment. But if there was a chance of getting the car, Liam thought it was worth the risk.
For a while they walked in silence without any disruptions. But way too soon the buildings came into view or, to be more exact, what was left of the buildings. There was no smoke anymore like on that first day, no noise of explosions, no guns fired. It was disturbingly quiet. They couldn't hear any cars, people, not even dogs barking. It was a dead city, torn apart, its insides ripped out and scattered around.
The first rotten and disintegrated body they saw was lying right in the middle of their path. Niall immediately put his hand over his eyes and just stared at the ground, not daring to look back up again. Liam, Zayn and Harry all felt queasy from the sight and hurried their steps. Louis just stared impassively at the remains. The only indication that he did feel slightly disturbed by the sight was a slight twitch of his lips.
There were some shops on their way, some of them not completely destroyed and, to their great happiness, some of them still had some food left. Most probably people who survived fled the city without turning back and never returned, so many of the shops still stood stocked with food.
After quite a while of walking the first shop they stumbled upon that still had food was closed, but Zayn grabbed one of the hundreds of bricks lying around and broke the glass. Normally Liam would have screamed at him for making way too much noise, but even he forgot all about that. After weeks and weeks of eating beans, tuna and tea, he was desperate for anything at all.
Zayn was the first one to get inside and the remaining four boys heard his shout of happiness before they even saw shelves and shelves of food. It was a small store, but it still had lots of candy and fizzy drinks that were not rotten. Niall grabbed a handful of Snickers and tore the wrapping with his shaking hands.
They stuffed themselves full of sweets and cereal, and washed everything with Coca Cola. After some twenty minutes of engorging the food, they sat on the floor and for a moment forgot all their troubles.
"That was the best fucking thing in the whole fucking four months" Zayn said lazily, resting his head on the wall.
"Yeah" Niall agreed, a smile lingering on his lips.
"I think I'm going to be sick" Harry mumbled, putting his hand on his mouth. It looked like he struggled with the need to retch for a moment or two, but then suddenly he stood up and ran outside through the broken window. The sounds of him vomiting violently reached the boys' ears a few seconds later.
"I guess that was expected" Liam mumbled, rubbing his belly with his hand. "I hope I have a stronger stomach."
Zayn chuckled at glanced at Liam. For a moment Liam held his look, but then closed his eyes and sighed.
Suddenly Louis stood up, walked to one of the shelves, grabbed a bottle of water and went outside. He found Harry leaning by the wall, spit hanging from his mouth like a lonely string of web.
"You should drink some water" Louis said, extending the bottle to Harry.
"Thanks" Harry managed to say and took the offered bottle from Louis' hand.
Louis stood and watched how Harry first washed his mouth and spit the water out and only then drank greedily until half of the water was gone.
"I feel better now" Harry sighed, straightening up.
"That was such a waste of food" Louis said and Harry felt a tug at his heart seeing the corners of Louis' mouth twitch into a barely visible smile. The first one in four months.
"Sorry 'bout that" Harry smiled sheepishly.
Louis seemed not to be going anywhere. He just stood there, looking at the ruins in front of them, deep in thought.
"Can I ask you something?" Harry said, looking at his friend and former lover cautiously.
Louis nodded once.
"Do you believe that we will really manage to get back home to UK?"
Louis' body stiffened and he turned to Harry slowly, looking at him, evaluating.
"We have to at least try" he finally said.
"I know, but do you really think… are there even any commercial planes flying at all? We have no money, no documents, nothing!"
The quiet desperation in Harry's voice might have been invisible for anybody else, but not Louis, who used to know how Harry felt only by quickly glancing at him. He still knew Harry that well, just chose to ignore his presence for the last couple of years. But now, looking at him he felt like those two years of forced separation never happened. Harry was still an open book to him, even though he did change a lot.
"Well, what do you suggest to do then?" he asked rather coldly.
When Harry didn't answer, he inhaled deeply and looked at the rubble again.
"There must be some way. It might take us a while to find it, but there must be some way home. The four of you will get back to UK."
"There's the five of us, Lou" Harry said gently and Louis felt Harry's hand descend on his shoulder. "All five of us will be getting home together."
"There's nothing there for me anymore…"
Louis said it so quietly, that Harry barely heard it. Then tears followed and Louis, irritated at himself, wiped them angrily away, but they just wouldn't stop coming.
Harry grabbed Louis' shoulder stronger and pushed the older boy close to his chest. He hugged Louis who struggled at first, but then just slumped in Harry's arms, gripping Harry's bloodstained shirt in his fists.
"I'm so sorry, Louis" Harry whispered. "I'm so, so sorry."
The first few nights they spent hiding somewhere Harry couldn't even remember, he held Louis so tight he thought he might suffocate him. But Louis' trembling body was pliant in his arms, shaking from tears and shock, and pain.
Now Harry felt a different kind of pain – a quiet acceptance. There was still anger in a way Louis gripped Harry's shirt tightly, but that was all. Louis looked like he finally gave up, like he accepted what happened, like he carved his fate in a stone as well.
"I invited them to come" Louis whispered into Harry's chest. "I did that…"
"Don't be stupid, Lou! Don't ever even think of blaming yourself! You hear me?"
He felt Louis nod reluctantly and it made Harry feel slightly better.
"I know it's not much, but you do have a girlfriend waiting for you at home. I know it's nothing, absolutely nothing compared to your family, but at least it's a tiny hope, yeah?"
Louis lifted his head and looked at Harry like he suddenly started talking Chinese.
"What?" he asked confused. "Who–"
"Eleanor, Louis, she's waiting for you back home!"
Louis continued starring at Harry like he was mad, then his lips tightened and he looked down.
"I split up with her a few weeks before... before the Detroit show."
"Oh" Harry said, surprised. "I'm sorry…"
"Don't be" Louis said curtly and wriggled out of Harry's grasp. He wiped his face with the back of his hand and thankfully no more tears were coming anymore.
"I never loved her, I was actually quite relieved to finally be rid of her."
"Oh…" Harry had nothing to say to that.
Louis looked him straight in the eyes as if waiting for some reaction, but then Liam's head suddenly popped out through the broken window. He looked at the scene before him and cleared his throat.
"Hey, Harry, if you're done, I think it's a better idea to go back inside and not stand around in the open."
"Right, sorry" Harry mumbled. "Come on, Louis."
He let Louis go in first and followed.
After the initial excitement over all the food, the boys went to gather anything that was still edible. It was not a small stack – sweets, cereal, dried fruit and nuts, some canned food and cookies. They didn't find any backpacks, but there were a few bigger plastic bags and they took as much as they could with themselves. Zayn grabbed a few packs of cigarettes and all the lighters he could find as well as some bottles of shampoo and shower gel. Razors and shaving cream was Zayn's best discovery that day. Harry grabbed the only few boxes of painkillers and some other medicine that was stacked next to the counter.
It was still just midday, so they decided not to linger around and move on.
They kept walking for a few more hours, slowed down by the heavy bags they were carrying, but not that many other shops were in sight. They did find a clothes store, but its doors were open and it looked like some serious panic happened inside. But thankfully there still were some clothes, even though a small selection, at the men's aisle. Louis found a new pair of jeans for himself, Liam, Niall, Zayn and Harry each grabbed a hoody and all the boys got a few pairs of fresh socks and pants. Before putting his hoody on Harry looked down at his bloodstained shirt, but he didn't have the heart to throw it out. There was a bloody imprint of Louis' palm on the left side of the shirt and even after washing Harry could still clearly make it out. He put the hoody over it.
They walked for the remaining day and by the time the sun was setting down, they felt they did put quite a distance between themselves and the shack they used to live.
The boys found some shelter under the destroyed building, had dinner and went to sleep.
For a long time Harry could not fall asleep. He kept listening to the sounds around him and when he thought the boys were deep asleep, he turned to stare at Louis lying right next to him. He looked at Louis' calm, relaxed face and felt something heavy in his chest.
Images of a naked Louis hovering over him should not cross his mind. Nor Louis' slightly parted lips, his clear blue eyes with dilated pupils, eager to gorge on Harry's skin, ravish it. None of that was his for a very long time. And now was definitely not the time to let the guard down and let himself be carried away.
He forced his love for Louis deep in the darkest corner of the basement in his heart, locked the doors and threw the key out. But somehow now the doors were slightly ajar and that love kept throwing curious glances at the bright-lit gap in the door.
Harry closed his eyes and took a very deep breath.
They had to get out of here alive first.
Louis had to properly grieve for his family.
They both needed to rebuild their lives in this new world where (as they guessed) a war raged on.
There was no space for trying to fight for the lost love again.
Still, Harry could not help but feel hopeful. Maybe, just maybe, there still was a chance for him to get Louis back.
Even if Louis dumped him succumbing to the pressure, even if he paraded his new girlfriend in front of Harry's eyes, even if he said their love was bullshit and even if he pretended sometimes that Harry was not even a friend to him anymore.
But if destroyed cities, slaughtered kids and their parents, the uncertainty about tomorrow and a fear of getting shot any second was not a reason good enough to ignore all that and try to chase after his love for Louis again, then nothing ever was.
TBC