Part One
I have been sat in exactly the same spot, surrounded by the usual crowd in silence for the last forty-five minuets and thirty three seconds, holding the train ticket James had left with me. They were discussing insignificant topics like work and Kev's party next weekend, all oblivious to my turmoil, well except for Carly, scarily we have a relationship like that of Craig and Steph. She knows me too well.
"Do you love him?"
Carly's question was a definite conversation stopper. Thankfully I didn't have to utter a word. Every time I think of him my heart skips a beat, my eyes sparkle brighter than the brightest of stars and my legs turn to jelly, so I struggle to support my own body weight. He is so beautiful and it doesn't sound strange for me to say that. Just thinking about him I can't wipe the smile from my face. We grew so close as we bordered the ultimate roller coaster ride that was McDean and proved to be one of the best soap relationships of all time.
We fought our own feelings for so long and then…we had a moment well a night actually. I was terrified, but not about the sex. That was different, but amazing if I say so myself. What scared the hell out of me is how much I want him. One night together and my whole perspective on relationships changed. I was in love (there I said it) with a bloke and not just any bloke my 100% straight best friend. He told me he wanted me too and that's when it hit me. I wanted a full blown relationship and that is when I ran.
Snapping out of my mental ramblings I discovered all eyes were on me.
"I only have one doubt. Lu-"
"She isn't here anymore Guy."
"I know that. I'm just not ready…"
"Yes you are. That's what has scared you. She'd want you to be happy."
"Does James make you happy?"
"Yes. Always."
"Then for God's sake don't screw this up again. You've both done enough of that already."
"But what about…?"
Loui handed me my pre-packed suitcase.
"Go."
A taxi was waiting for me outside.
"And…?"
Kev held out my wallet.
"Bye, Guy."
I was literally barged out of my own front door in the middle of a massive bear hug.
"Call us when you get there."
"I will."
"How long you staying?"
"As long as he'll have me."
"So we'll see you tonight then."
Ash quipped.
My inability to fire a quick come back went unnoticed as we were interrupted by the impatient cabby sounding his horn.
"Okay! Jesus. Look after yourself."
"I will. You lot try and behave whilst I am away."
"When don't we ever?"
Barry adopted what he considered to be a look of innocence.
"And if one thing in my flat is in anyway…"
"We get it."
Kev grumbled.
"Go. He won't wait forever."
Loui chastised.
"Give him our love."
Emma shouted at my retreating back.
"Don't worry I will."
I waved manically from the taxi window.
"Where you off to, mate?"
"Station please. I'm going home."
Part Two
I have been sat in the waiting room for the last fifty eight minuets and thirty-four seconds surrounded by hundreds of chattering and excitable travelers, staring at my ticket totally oblivious to the noise around me. Suddenly a familiar voice invaded my consciousness.
"Is that spare?"
I couldn't even risk looking up.
"If I turn my head now will you still be there?"
"I hope so. You may not believe this, but I have been a total idiot."
"I think I could see that."
James goaded.
"Hey. Do you want to know why I've been an idiot?"
"Go on then. You best sit down."
"The love of my life came back for me and I nearly lost him for the third time."
"That's careless. But you wouldn't have lost me."
"Really?"
James was hurt that Guy seemed so surprised by this.
"Of course. I wouldn't have given you up for anything. Read your band. It says 'Love Always'. Unfortunately you are stuck with me now."
"Damn it!"
"I know. I mean you try and you tr-."
The one skill he taught me which neither of us will ever regret is that occupying someone's mouth ensures silence. This one time he was happy to oblige. Pulling away for necessary air, a smile spread across my face.
"Lets go home."
"Home. That sounds nice. I can't wait."