Honesty
by
Alobear
Category: Slash
Notes: Written for the 2017 J/D Ficathon. This is set directly after S03E18 Shades of Grey (where Jack pretends to go rogue, Daniel goes to talk to him, and Jack is very mean because he's staying in character). My best advice is to go watch the episode before reading this - it's a good one! This fic tells the story of SG-1's first mission after that episode.
XXXXX
"We drew straws. I lost."
That was what Daniel had said. The revelation that Jack's forced retirement had all been a ruse to trap Maybourne's merry band of pilferers had been made. Jack had immediately taken Daniel aside to explain that everything he'd said had been designed to convince the bad guys he'd gone rogue. He'd reassured Daniel in no uncertain terms that the foundations of their friendship were of course absolutely solid. He'd even gone so far as to express how much it meant to him that Daniel had been the one to visit him.
And Daniel had responded by saying it hadn't meant anything at all because the rest of his team had drawn straws to decide that very thing. And Daniel had lost. Which was, in fact, worse than nothing because it meant going to visit Jack had been the booby prize. Nobody had wanted to come, and they'd had to draw straws to determine who would be forced to take on the apparently unpleasant task. Which made no sense, when Jack stopped to think about it. If none of them had wanted to visit him, why had they deemed it necessary to allocate the task to anyone? Why had any of them come at all?
So, had Daniel actually been lying? Jack thought back to the moment the statement had been made. Daniel had immediately stalked off, leaving Jack with Sam and Teal'c. Sam had merely raised her eyebrows in what Jack had taken to be an apology, and Teal'c had just stared at him in his inimitable Teal'c way. Jack had assumed they were reacting to the truth of Daniel's statement, but what if they'd really been reacting in surprise because it wasn't true? Raised eyebrows were more likely to mean surprise than apology, right? And there had been a slight twitch of Teal'c's lips that might have indicated his shock at Daniel's unexpected claim.
That had to be it. Daniel was pissed at Jack for lying to him, so he had lied right back in an attempt to hurt Jack as revenge for hurting him. School-yard rules, which Jack would have thought would be beneath Daniel. And it had hurt. A lot. Jack had only been doing his job, after all. Was it so unreasonable to expect Daniel to understand that, and just let it go? But then Jack couldn't seem to let go of his obsession with analysing those five little words that had slipped so easily from Daniel's lips.
Why was he obsessing over it, anyway? Whether it was true or not, the whole situation was over and done with now. Mission accomplished, time to move on to the next one. But he hadn't moved on, and he didn't think Daniel had, either. They'd barely spoken since, and then only to exchange information related to work. Right this moment, Daniel was sitting on the other side of the conference table, studying the hem of his shirt intently. He hadn't looked up once since he'd sat down. Jack knew that, because he'd been staring at Daniel the whole time. Thinking about those five words and whether or not they were true.
They couldn't be true, could they? If they were, it meant Daniel didn't care about their friendship as much as Jack had thought. But if they weren't, it meant Daniel was really upset, and Jack didn't want that. Did he? If it meant their friendship was as important to Daniel as it was to Jack, Jack kind of thought he might. Was it mean of him to prefer Daniel to be upset than uncaring? But the alternative made Jack feel sick and angry. And, if Daniel was upset, Jack could fix it, and everything would go back to the way it should be. Foundations solid, and all that. He wished Daniel would look at him. Just once, so he could gauge how big a task he had ahead of him. Because fixing things with Daniel was somehow very, very important. And apparently all he could think about.
"Uh, Colonel? Are you even listening?"
Sam's voice broke into Jack's endlessly circling thoughts, and he snapped his head around to look at her. She was using a pointer to indicate a topographical map on the projector screen. Jack dredged his memory for what she might be talking about.
"Yes, Major," he said. "Rock formations. Naquadah deposits. Very interesting." He turned to General Hammond with a bright smile. "So, do we have a go, sir?"
Hammond frowned at him, but nodded. "Yes, Colonel. I think the possibility of another source of naquadah pushes P5J-727 to the top of the mission list. I suggest you prepare the equipment you'll need and set out at 0900 tomorrow. Dr Jackson, I assume you'll be ready to negotiate with the natives, if necessary?"
"Yes, sir," Daniel said, looking up only long enough to acknowledge the General's question.
Hammond looked as though he was waiting for Daniel's usual stream of additional information about whatever people they'd discovered on the planet. After a few seconds, when it became obvious nothing more was forthcoming from Daniel, Hammond laid his hands on the table and stood up.
"Right then," he said. "Dismissed."
He disappeared into his office, leaving SG-1 alone in the conference room. Jack rose to his feet, too.
"You heard the man," he said, a little more brusquely than was perhaps necessary. "Equipment. Preparations." He swirled a hand in the air. "Other mission-related stuff. Get going."
He followed his own instructions and headed for the stairs. He supposed he could always ask Daniel outright if he'd been lying. But would that give him the answer he wanted, or just make the whole situation worse?
XXXXX
The time of the mission arrived and Jack still hadn't exchanged more than a couple of words with Daniel. He got the distinct impression Daniel was actively avoiding him, leaving rooms just as Jack arrived, and sticking close to Sam at other times so there was no opportunity for them to have a moment alone. As the team gathered at the bottom of the ramp in the Gate Room, Jack made a promise to himself that he would corner Daniel and force a confrontation as soon as they got back to Earth. The situation couldn't go on like it was, and it looked like it would be up to Jack to sort it out. Maybe he could get Daniel to return to the scene of the crime, as it were, and use that as the setting for a reconciliation. Yes, that was an excellent idea. Jack would invite Daniel over to his house, and they could have a proper conversation about the foundations of their friendship, this time without anyone listening in and making Jack misrepresent himself.
The whoosh of the wormhole startled Jack back to his immediate surroundings and he realised he'd been obsessing again. He really would have to try and put the whole Daniel thing out of his mind while the mission was underway. It was proving seriously distracting, and could leave the rest of his team in danger. Mentally shaking himself, Jack glanced round to check the others were ready, then led them up the ramp and through the event horizon.
Jack's unsettled feeling didn't dissipate as he exited the wormhole on the other side. He had seen the MALP footage of the planet, but it was still disconcerting that there weren't any trees. The landscape was orange and rocky. One or two scrubby bushes poked up through the dust, but they were the only vegetation in sight. The sun beat down on fantastical rock formations that towered over them, the arches and pathways between them a testament to the power of the elements. It reminded Jack of parts of Joshua Tree National Park. He snagged his sunglasses from a pocket and put them on.
One path was obviously used much more than any of the others, and Jack knew from the briefing that it led to the habitations nearest the gate, which they'd spotted on the footage. So he set off down it, the others following in their standard formation behind him. It wasn't long before Jack spotted a figure approaching from the other direction. He stopped and ushered Daniel forwards to be the first one in line.
"Daniel, you're up," Jack said, earning himself a glare.
But Daniel stepped forwards readily enough, schooling his expression to one of open interest as he did so.
As the figure grew closer, Jack could see it was swathed in the kind of robes common amongst desert-dwelling people. The clothing didn't give Jack any gender clues, and neither did the figure's face, once it was close enough to make out features. Jack decided to think of the stranger as a 'him', just for ease of mental reference, but there really were no indications either way. The newcomer was tall and willowy, with a graceful stride and obvious strength. His features were smooth and even, with wide-set eyes, a long nose and sharp cheekbones. He smiled and spread his arms in a universal gesture of welcome.
"Greetings," he said, his voice rich but light. "I am Telantis. We have been expecting you."
Daniel smiled in return. "Greetings, Telantis. I am Daniel, and these are Jack, Sam and Teal'c." He indicated them each in turn, and Jack noticed how he kept the introductions simple, presumably taking his cue from the single name provided by their host. "I hope our arrival is not unwelcome."
"Indeed, no," Telantis replied. "The village has been alive with speculation, ever since your machines appeared. We have been anticipating your visit eagerly."
"I'm glad to hear it," Daniel replied. "We, too, have been looking forward to meeting you in person. We are hoping to be able to talk to your people about trade opportunities."
Telantis waved his hands a bit dismissively. "We can discuss such things after you have been properly welcomed. Follow me."
Daniel looked to Jack, who nodded. If the natives wanted to throw them some kind of party before getting down to the business of naquadah negotiations, who was he to argue? They had plenty of time, and it didn't seem like there was any kind of threat here, so he was happy to go along with the local way of doing things for the time being.
It wasn't far to the village, which consisted of colourful tents around a central building made of rough-hewn but more permanent materials. Telantis led them straight to this structure, ducking through the door. When Jack followed, he found himself in a blessedly cool, open space, where another figure was seated on a cushion on the ground. Telantis gestured for SG-1 to join a circle of similar seats, which were arranged around a large kettle on a brazier. The other figure was also swathed in robes, their individual characteristics mostly obscured. Once everyone was settled, or as settled as Jack's knees would allow when forced to sit on the floor, Telantis made the introductions.
"This is Haiyyal, our leader," he concluded.
For the sake of equality, Jack decided to think of Haiyyal as female, until or unless he discovered otherwise. She inclined her head to each of them in turn.
"I welcome you among us," she said. "Please partake of some tea, so that we may no longer be strangers."
Telantis poured each of them a cup of steaming liquid. Jack accepted his gingerly, giving it a quick sniff. He couldn't help grimacing a bit at the sharp tang, and he spotted Daniel rolling his eyes on the other side of the circle.
"Thank you," said Daniel, pointedly taking his own cup graciously and inhaling the scent with exaggerated appreciation. "We very much welcome the opportunity for our peoples to become friends."
There was a brief silence while everyone drank some tea. Jack managed a sip or two without gagging, but quickly set his cup down, much to Daniel's apparent annoyance. Daniel kept shooting Jack dark looks, but Jack truly felt he was doing his best, despite significant physical discomfort and an intense dislike of the tea. He had no idea how the other three were drinking it so happily. This wasn't exactly the party he'd envisaged.
Once he felt enough time had been wasted on the horrible tea, he cleared his throat and aimed his most charming smile at Haiyyal.
"So, now that we're no longer strangers," he said, "can we talk about why we're here?"
Before Haiyyal could respond, Daniel jumped in. "Jack! There's no need to rush things." He turned to Haiyyal. "Please accept my apologies for Jack's impatience. Whilst we are eager to discover if there are things we can trade for mutual benefit, establishing good relations is just as important to us as anything else."
Haiyyal was silent for a long moment. She looked back and forth between Daniel and Jack several times, her gaze penetrating. Jack shifted uncomfortably, feeling as if she were looking through rather than at him.
Eventually, she said, "We are prepared to explore trade options. But how can we expect you to be open and honest with us, when you are unable to be open and honest with each other?"
Daniel's eyes immediately snapped to Jack, who realised he was staring right back with his mouth open. What was it with aliens and weird, intrusive intuition?
Daniel recovered well, turning his attention back to Haiyyal. "How can we reassure you of our honest intentions?" he asked.
Jack watched Daniel doing his thing, with growing admiration. There was no way Haiyyal could mistake his absolute sincerity, not with those baby blues focused on her. He let out a breath, confident that Daniel would have them home and dry in no time. In the meantime, Teal'c was still apparently enjoying his tea, while Sam was looking pointedly at Jack, her expression enquiring.
Haiyyal smiled. "If you truly wish to open up negotiations between our peoples, then there is a ritual you may undergo to prove yourselves."
"All of us?" Jack asked. He didn't like the sound of this.
"No," Haiyyal qualified. "Just the two of you." She indicated Daniel and Jack. "The others may go with Telantis to find out if what you are looking for does in fact reside in our hills."
"And what exactly does this ritual entail?" Jack asked. He wasn't sure he'd be able to take part if it involved drinking more of the tea.
Haiyyal smiled again, but Jack got the feeling it wasn't meant to be reassuring. It certainly didn't have that effect on him.
"The ritual will bring you no harm," she said. "It is merely a guided meditation that will enable me to gauge what is in your hearts."
"Teal'c's really good at meditating," Jack said. "I'm sure he'd be a better choice for this than me."
"No, it must be the two of you," Haiyyal said, indicating Jack and Daniel again.
Daniel caught Jack's eye and managed to transmit both a request for him to co-operate, and a threat of dire consequences if he didn't, all in one glance. Jack sighed.
"Fine, if that's what it takes." He turned to Sam. "Major, you and Teal'c go and scout out the surrounding area. Do whatever tests you need to do, and then report back with your findings. Daniel and I will stay here and, uh, meditate, I guess."
"Yes, sir," Sam said, with a barely-hidden smirk.
She rose smoothly to her feet - the benefits of youth, Jack thought, silently cursing her - and headed back out of the building, Telantis and Teal'c following.
Once it was just the three of them left, Haiyyal got to her feet and crossed to a shelf on the far wall of the room. She collected an earthenware jug and returned to the brazier.
"Anything spoken or discovered in this room will remain within these walls, unless you wish it otherwise," she said.
Then she poured a liquid from the jug onto the hot coals of the brazier and a thick, blue smoke billowed out, accompanied by a sharp hissing noise. Jack caught sight of Daniel's startled expression, then the smoke enveloped him, obscuring everything. He couldn't help but breathe it in, and it was surprisingly fragrant, with a floral aroma, rich and soothing. Jack had a vague thought that he ought to be alarmed by their host subjecting them to an unknown airborne agent, but then he found he didn't really care.
"Relax, and close your eyes." Haiyyal's voice drifted to him through the smoke, and Jack found himself obeying the instructions without really thinking about it. "The purpose of the ritual is to find truth where it has been hidden. Let the smoke cloud your vision, even as it reveals your heart."
Jack found himself in his living room, sitting in his armchair, a beer dangling casually from his fingers. Daniel sat ramrod straight on the very edge of the couch opposite him, his own beer bottle clenched in his hand. The hurt in his eyes stabbed at Jack's heart, and he knew he had just told his best friend that the foundations of their friendship were non-existent.
Daniel's voice reached him as if from very far away.
"I believed it. And you let me believe it."
The words were soft, but the pain behind them shouted its way past Jack's unwillingness to acknowledge it, and lodged deep within his psyche. He opened his eyes and Daniel was sitting cross-legged right in front of him, so close that their knees were touching. The smoke was all around them, making it seem as if the two of them floated in an endless, cloudy sky. Haiyyal, the brazier, the circle of cushions; everything else had vanished.
"I had to, Daniel." Jack heard the pleading in his own words. "There were people listening. I had to make it convincing."
"You could have let me in on it," Daniel shot back. "I could have played along."
"I couldn't take the risk. It was easier if only Hammond and I knew what was really going on."
"Easier?" Bitterness laced Daniel's tone. "Easier not to trust me? Easier to take my heart, rip it from my chest, and leave me bleeding on the floor, for everyone to see?"
A graphic image of just that blossomed in Jack's mind and he jerked backwards, as if to physically distance himself from it. He tried to recover his poise.
"Come on, Daniel," he chided, trying to mask his own emotion by criticising Daniel's. "Isn't that just a bit melodramatic? After all, you said yourself that visit didn't mean anything to you. Weren't you only there because you drew straws and lost?"
Daniel gave a hollow laugh. "You didn't seriously believe that, did you? You're even more gullible than me!"
Hope surged through Jack. "You lied?"
"Of course I lied! What did you expect? You'd just triumphantly revealed how successfully you'd made us all into fools, and me most of all. I had to claw back at least some of my dignity."
They lapsed into silence. Daniel dropped his gaze, but Jack couldn't tear his eyes away, searching every detail of Daniel's posture for clues.
All sorts of thoughts and feelings were whirling round Jack's mind. Why was it so important to him that Daniel had lied about the drawing of straws? Why was Daniel so desperately upset that Jack hadn't let him in on the plan? Something important between them had fractured and it was sending bolts of agony back down this psychic connection between them. Jack reached into the rift and tried to close the gap. The tips of his fingers encountered sharp, jagged edges, but he grasped them anyway, ignoring the pain, trying to reach through to Daniel.
"I'm sorry," he said at last. "I didn't realise the ruse would hurt you - hurt us both - so much."
Daniel gave a little sigh. "Then I guess you couldn't relate to me any more than I could to you."
Having his own words from that conversation at his house thrown back at him brought the whole thing sharply into focus for Jack, all at once. Yes, he had lied, and so had Daniel. The problem was that both of them had been able to believe each other's lies. And that really did bring the foundations of their relationship into question. But Jack wasn't prepared to leave things there. Realising how painful it had been to lie to Daniel like that, and how crazy Daniel's lie had made him in turn, Jack was now able to see just how important Daniel was to him. And he thought that maybe he now understood what was making Daniel so unhappy.
He searched Daniel's intense blue gaze for some kind of confirmation of his suspicions, but there was nothing concrete there to go on. It was as if Daniel was repressing all emotion to force Jack to take the leap and risk everything.
Jack leaned forwards, reaching across what felt like a vast chasm between them to close the few inches of actual space, and planted a kiss on Daniel's lips.
Daniel made a small, desperate noise, brought his hands up and thrust them into Jack's hair, pushing his tongue into Jack's mouth and fusing their lips together. Jack responded eagerly and, for the first time since he'd stolen that piece of tech from the Tollans, things felt right again.
When they came up for air, it was to find that the smoke had dissipated, and the room was back the way it had been. Daniel was on the other side of the brazier again, and Jack wondered if the whole thing had just been in his head. Then he caught Daniel's eye, and watched as Daniel's cheeks went decidedly pink.
There was the sound of hands being clapped together twice in quick succession, and Jack looked up, startled, to see Haiyyal standing at the edge of the circle, a wide grin on her face.
"Now you know each other's hearts fully," she said. "And now we can begin negotiations for trade between our peoples."
Jack cleared his throat. "Um, great," he said. "But you won't tell anyone else about this, right?"
Haiyyal regarded him gravely. "As I said, anything revealed within the ritual remains between only those immediately affected. It was important that the two of you understand each other. What you do with that understanding, and with whom you share it, is now up to you."
"Thank you, Haiyyal," Daniel said, and Jack could tell by the tone of his voice he meant more than just the secrecy.
Daniel looked back across to Jack and licked his lips, his eyes promising a much more in-depth exploration of their revelations when they got home. Jack shifted uncomfortably on his cushion. He had forgotten the pain in his knees in the wake of revelation. He just hoped the other side effects of kissing Daniel would subside before the others came back to start the negotiations.
THE END