"Well you know what they say Fabienne, that's how the cookie crumbles."
"Indeed Peter. The time now is 8:30 am and it's time for the financial news with our financial correspondent Onçardo Boi Chá."
"Thank you Fabienne. The biggest financial news of the week is the continuing decline of the formally stable Fox Away Personal Security. A staple of self-defence measures, Fox Away products have been available since 1979 and have remained popular within the city and areas such as the Tri-Burrows counties of Podunk, Bunnyburrow and Hareton. However, in the last two year's sales have declined sharply, followed by stocks prices. Eighteen months ago, the company's stock was valued at $22.6 a share. As of this morning, that has declined to $9.78, with many mammals selling their stock off before further projected dips. If this trend keeps up, some financial pundits say Fox Away may need to file for chapter eleven bankruptcy protection within the next twelve months. With me now is Fox Away CEO and Founder, Bucky O'Harrah. Thanks for coming on the show Mr O'Harrah."
"Glad to be here Onçardo, call me Bucky please."
"Thank you, Bucky. And with Veteran's Day just around the corner, may I just say thank you for your services to our nation during the Vietnam War."
"I just did my part to provide security for our country Onçardo."
"Which nicely leads in to our topic of discussion of security today. You founded Fox Away in 1979 providing security to prey animals who were wary of predators…
"I'll have to stop your right there Onçardo. I know where this question leads. No I did not found Fox Away solely for prey creatures afraid after the Predator Rights movement."
"I…wasn't going to mention that actually but thank you for clarifying Bucky. Anyway, since then your company has grown to be one of the top personal security providers in the country."
"Not bad for a lil' ol'bunny from Podunk huh?"
"No definitely not. But within the last two years your sales have declined rapidly. Why do you think that is?"
"Well Onçardo it's just the way of the business. In times of safety like we live in now, people feel less likely to need our products. You could say we've done so well in making people feel safe we're fighting against ourselves."
"Some would disagree with that assertion Bucky. While sales in Fox Away have declined, rival companies such as Atlas, Stag, ACME, Armadillo Armour and so forth have all seen business increase."
"And good for them for catching up to us!"
"Indeed. What would you say to those mammals who suggest this is down to your company's…image problem?"
"I don't really know what you mean by that."
"Well out of all the big-name security companies out there, yours is the only one with a particular message in their name. Fox Away. As in 'Get this fox away from me.'"
"It's just a name Onçardo, we don't sell products that exclusively hurt foxes. Why that'd be against the law! I mean our products can be used against any mammal regardless of species or size!"
"Does that include the fox repellent spray line that was discontinued eight months ago, after the new anti-discrimination laws became enforceable? The ones that stated all security products were required to be usable against 90% of mammals? The requirement that fox repellent was by no means going to meet?"
"We saw a niche and filled it Onçardo. Nothing more"
"Perhaps, but sales were declining even before those laws, laws which saw the company Cat-Be-Gone fold overnight, came in to force. Yet you continued to produce it way past the point of financial sustainability."
"Well honestly those laws, while good in theory, aren't needed in the first place."
"Yes, I recall you were one of the lobbyists campaigning against the laws. Anyway, I'd like to see if we can be more specific if I may. There was a certain...incident around eighteen months ago, wasn't there? Something that possibly had more to do with your company's sales decline as you would like to think?"
"I'm not sure what you're referring to…"
"I think you do Bucky. I'm referring to when your Grandson, Bucky O'Harrah the third, assaulted a police officer with one of your products. While live streaming on Furbook."
"Now in fairness he didn't know it at the time…"
"I doubt that would have made it any better Bucky. In fact, we have a clip from the video right here. Let's take a look shall we? Viewers even though this has been edited for language I should note there are still some upsetting scenes."
"Now now Onçardo there's no need…dang it."
"So yeah there's been this ****ing fox ******rd walking around Bunnyburrow with this sweet piece of rabbit a**. Holding hands and everything! It's disgusting! I figure he's got her in some sort of trouble and making her do this. But with my trusty Fox Away 9000, I'll teach him a lesson. Oh God here they come now! Jesus look at this guy's dress sense. Pawaiin shirts? Urgh. Love the jeans the rabbit's wearing. She's nice an C. Oh great, they're heading towards that horrible fox owned bakery. I guess I got to go in there, show the owner who's boss too. Ok here we go. "
"Aww c'mon Carrots, just one more pie?"
"Nick you had two this morning. Keep at this and you'll go up a uniform size."
"Hey I'm just trying to help out a good honest business fox! Back me up here Gid!"
"I'm not one to say no to money Judy."
"Not helping Gideon."
"Aww, someone's cranky. I know how to cheer you up. C'mere."
"Nick you always kiss me like that in public…"
"Marking my territory Fluff."
"HEY ****FACE! TAKE THIS!"
"What the AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGH SONUVA*****"
"Nick, Nick!?"
"It's okay babe he can't hurt you anymore!"
"COME HERE YOU LITTLE PIECE OF **** I'LL ****ING ***** YOU AND THEN **** ***** **** **** UP YOUR ***!"
"Wait wait what are you doing! Hey that's my tazer! Ow ow! MY ARM! Wait no don't put that up there! ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!"
"Not your family's finest hour. Assaulting Nick Wilde, the first fox police officer, with his then fiancée now wife, Judy Hopps."
"Now clearly she used excessive force…"
"It was confirmed in an official statement from the city that since she and her husband were off duty and she was clearly defending her mate from an armed attacker. That charge your family tried to suggest of use of excessive force against her was thrown out before the trial."
"Well, be as that may be…"
"Your Grandson only got off an assaulting an officer charge for the same reason. However, since it was clearly aggravated assault and racially motivated he was also charged with a hate crime, landing him ten years in prison. Though I hear he's up for parole next year due to good behaviour and is apparently repentant."
"Now that was ludicrous. Taking away a child's formative years like that."
"He was eighteen at the time Bucky, so was charged as an adult."
"Barely! Besides my family issued an apology and offered Mr Wilde..."
"Wilde-Hopps."
"Yes of course. As I said we apologised and offered Mr. Wilde-Hopps significant compensation."
"Which, if I am to understand correctly, he declined without hesitation."
"Yes, that is correct."
"I also understand this compensation was offered in exchange for dropping all charges, and was rescinded the day before the trial."
"Can we get back to the business at hand here?"
"Certainly. It seems almost immediately after the video went viral sales in your products declined sharply, something which you don't seem to have recovered from. Now there seems to be rumours that there was even a consideration of changing your company's name to try and dissociate from the incident. Seems a too little too late to at this point."
"You know what, we're done here! How do I get this damned microphone off!? Good day sir!"
"Well viewers it seems Bucky O'Harrah has decided to end the interview. Thanks for joining us. I'm Onçardo Boi Chá and I'll see you tomorrow."
Notes:
Just something daft I was trying. Try and do a story in dialogue only, under 2,000 words and with a subject a lot of people don't seem to query. Essentially how a blatantly racist product like Fox Away exists in Zootopia.
Onçardo Boi Chá is the jaguar anchor that replaced Peter Moosebridge in the Brazilian version of the film.
Might do other stuff like this in future. Chapter 18 of Zootopian Vice is on the cards soon.