*******
Take It Back
"Take it back," he demanded, not caring if he made them angry or not.
"It is something that cannot be done," the male replied.
"It can be done," he insisted refusing to accept anything less than what he wanted.
"We did it for you once," the female told him, "And it was because of her. We do not have the power to do it again."
"Lies," he spat out. "You did it then. You refused to do it for Doyle, and I let it go. I let him go. But I will not let her die. Not like this."
"You knew she would die," the female said.
"It was just sooner rather than later," the male followed.
Angel glared at the two rejects from a bad Star Trek episode. "I'm not leaving here until you do it. I'm not fighting any more battles for you until you bring her back. Until Buffy lives again." Crossing his arms in front of his chest, he prepared for a long wait.
*******
Cordelia Chase paced. She had tried to occupy herself in a million other ways, but just couldn't manage it. Not that she didn't get things done the office was spotless, the filing was done, she'd even cleaned the windows. Not that they used them all that much, but still. When she had nothing left to do there, she had come home. Again, she had resorted to cleaning and organizing to keep her mind off things. Her shoes were in nice little rows in the closet, her clothes were all hung according to color, the dishes had been done, the vacuuming was done, and the laundry done and folded. Including last week's. All that was left was pacing. So that's what she did. Dennis was pacing beside her, she could feel him. He had also helped her do things to keep herself occupied. The ghost had started the shoe arrangement and the laundry folding. Cordy had to admit, living with a ghost was odd, but at least it was Dennis. Things could have been worse. It could have been his mother.
In utter frustration she flung herself to the couch and curled up. "What am I going to do? He's not going to survive without her. And if he's gone, then I'm alone again." Fighting to keep the tears from her voice proved to be a lost cause. She didn't want to be alone. Anything but alone. The blanket from the back of the couch lifted and wrapped itself around her. "Thanks," she whispered and closed her eyes. If they had only been a few minutes earlier then maybe
***
The carnage was massive. Even with help, the Scoobies hadn't been able to keep up. Cordy's vision had come only hours before, and they had made their way to the Hellmouth as fast was humanly possible. But it wasn't fast enough.
Xander was bleeding from a very bad wound on his head. The cut hung open, but the boy kept going. Kept hacking away at the demons. Blood burned his eyes, but it didn't matter. If they didn't do something, there wouldn't be anything left of him to hurt.
Willow and Amy Madison had managed to put some down, but it was obvious they were wearing thin. Magic could only be sustained for so long. Especially magic like what they were using. Old magic. Dark magic. Magic too powerful for two fairly novice witches to be using. Except they didn't have a choice.
Somehow managing to keep control of the half wolf form the Hellmouth had induced, Oz was slashing with everything he had. Biting at anything that came close enough. Tearing limbs from bodies if he got the chance. The savagery had made even Angel shudder, but it was something the vampire understood all too well. Watching the wolf in those few seconds, Angel hoped Oz would be able to deal with what had been done when it was over.
Ethan Rayne and Giles were in the corner, conjuring up something. While Ethan may worship chaos, the end of the world wasn't something he really wanted to see. Especially if he wasn't going to benefit from it. Which was a good thing in the end. Ethan could be a powerful ally or enemy, depending on his mood.
However, it was Spike that surprised both of them as they had entered the battle. The vampire was hacking away with a medieval axe, trying to get to something neither one of them could see. It only took a few moments, and Angel knew. He felt it within his soul.
Blonde hair in the middle of the carnage. Down. Spike was trying to get to her, but didn't seem to be making much progress. Angel had felt the change then, the shift in his features. This was the third time he had seen this creature. The first of the demons to rise up from the Hellmouth. Coming from behind, he simply tore his way through the demon, not stopping until he came to Buffy.
Cordelia hadn't known what to do. Grabbing the first weapon that she saw, she started stabbing at the nearest creature with the sword as soon as her hands wrapped themselves around the hilt. She didn't care if she struck home or not, she just wanted to do some damage. To hurt them as they had hurt her friends. The damn Hellmouth couldn't just sleep. No, it had to open up wide and spit out even the things it didn't want there. The damn thing just needed to be closed. Forever.
Angel reached her. Pulling her to him, he took note of all the damage that had been done to her. One arm was broken, her nose as well. Judging by the way she winced when he lifted her, he imagined she had a few broken ribs as well. One eye was black and there was already a bruise forming on her jaw. Even with all the damage he could see, he told himself she would live. Told himself what he had felt earlier couldn't have been her soul telling his goodbye.
The other vampire approached then, the axe he held dripping with goo. The look on his face was horrified and at first Angel couldn't understand why. Ok, she looked bad, but it wasn't the first time. In a few days she would be good as new. It was then he saw the shard of something, ceremonial pottery perhaps, jutting out from her abdomen. A shift in the way he held her told him that it ran completely through her.
She smiled then. Looked up at him and offered a smile that was meant for the one person she loved like no other. Unsteadily she raised a hand and laid a cool hand against his cheek. "I knew you'd come," she whispered. "You'd come like always." A cough that brought up blood. "My Angel" Her hand fell then, landing amid the rubble.
The scream built up inside of him, threatening to take his mind if it came out. He swallowed it, but didn't stop the tears. Hugging her tightly to him, he refused to let her go, refused to drop her even though he knew it wasn't her any longer. Spike's hand on his shoulder forced him to come back to the battle.
"She's gone mate. I'm sorry about that, but she wouldn't want you to let her friends die here." The vampire stepped back and lopped off the head of an approaching demon.
Rage and anger built inside of him as he looked back down at his lover. She had died at the hands of the creatures she had fought against before. She had died in his arms. Her blood stained his clothes. It was the scent of her blood that sent him over the edge.
His name echoed somewhere down along tunnel, but it was so faint he ignored it. Voices, ones that sounded familiar. His name again, closer this time. Followed closely by the sharp sting of his nose being broken.
"Come on now mate, I'm the only one left you'd like to kill. If you feel the need, then come on. But you will leave the rest of them out of this."
His name again. Willow? Confusion clouded his mind and he struggled to come out from under the fog. Yes, Willow, and Giles, and Spike?
"Angel?"
Cordelia this time. Where was he? Slowly the events came back to him, or at least some of them. The demons, the fight.
Buffy.
Buffy's body. Slowly he turned, looking to the place he left her. Bodies were scattered around, some neatly killed, some torn to pieces. She lay still against the remnants of the battle. Focus Angel turned, looking for anything else to see. Willow. Oh God Willow. He reached for her. Fear crossed her face and he tried to speak, but no words came out. The hand that had come close to touching her knocked away with inhuman force. Focus. Again. Spike.
The blonde vampire's face was human, but his stance was ready for battle. "Not until you get a hold of yourself again, mate," he growled.
Blink. Spike. It was Spike. What was Spike doing here? Angel frowned.
"Spike?" The name came out as a hoarse croak.
"Welcome back," Spike said as he stepped out of the way, giving Angel access to the gang. "Nice of you to rejoin us." Angel wasn't fooled though, Spike was ready to kill him if he so much as looked at one of them funny.
Giles. Where was Giles? Giles would know what was going on. His eyes found the man, bruised and bloodied, but alive. "Giles? What happened?" The confusion in his voice was thick. "Buffy?" Her name came out as a sob.
The Watcher didn't know what to say, afraid that if he spoke his own grief would silence him. It was Cordy who stepped up. Who touched Angel gently.
"Angel?" Her hand was warm against his arm. "You don't remember?" He shook his head, missing the frown that crossed her face. "You finished it Angel. You killed them all. You found her body, then you killed them." Her voice dropped to a whisper. "You almost killed us."
***
The funeral had been two days later. As was fitting, the sun did not come out that day. Instead rain fell, heavy at times, but mostly a steady drizzle. Angel had stayed at the site for hours after everyone left. Cordelia had found him after midnight.
"I can't do this any more," he told her.
"Sure you can. She wasn't with you before."
"It's different now. At least before I knew she was alive. Knew she was ok." Tears fell and he didn't bother to wipe them away. Cordy sat in the wet grass with him. "What good is redemption now if there is no hope of sharing it with her?"
There had been nothing she could say to that. It took a few more hours, but she finally managed to get him to move before the sun came up.
And now he was petitioning the Oracles to bring her back. While they had folded time once for him, Cordy didn't really believe they'd do it again. Not when they wouldn't do anything for Doyle. That still hurt him she knew, but nothing like loosing Buffy. Since it happened and they had come back to LA, he had done nothing. He accepted no cases, helped no one that came to him. Even Kate had been pushed aside. She had come to him for help on a case, the kind of thing he would gladly have done before, only to be turned away with no kind of grace or dignity. His words had been something to the effect of, "Why don't you learn to be a cop, then you wouldn't need me." Cordy had tried to explain to the woman, but nothing would work. Not that she could be blamed.
Truth be told, Cordy didn't want the Oracles to help him. If they did and the fabric of time was changed again, then this time he might die as well. At least while he was like this, she had the chance to keep him alive. If she failed, she would be alone again.
*******
He felt it before they actually tried. Felt the build of power before he felt the push that was meant to cast him out of their realm. But will was a powerful thing. More powerful than what they could muster against him. The Oracles looked at one another and frowned.
"We have told you that you will not be helped in this way," the male said.
"There is nothing more you will gain by staying here," the female finished.
"Maybe not," he told them. "But I don't have any reason to be anywhere else either. So I'll just stick around here for a while. You can tell The Powers That Be that I'm done. No more work for them. No more fighting the battles they send. Nothing unless I get her back."
"We cannot change the course of destiny," the male said, clearly annoyed.
"You did it once," Angel interrupted, his frustration growing with every second.
"Yes," the female glowered at him, "And obviously that was a mistake."
The vampire started to speak once more, but stopped himself. There was no point to it. They would do nothing to help him. So be it. If they expected him to do anything for them, they were sorely mistaken. It was up to him to show them that. To show them nothing they could do aside from bringing her back would be enough.
Turning away, he walked out, his posture making it perfectly clear he left of his own choosing.
*******
"Angel?" He had heard that tone come from her before. It was a tone that bordered on pleading. A tone she used when she was scared. The tone she had used the day he had nearly killed them.
"Go home Cordelia. There's nothing for you here." He was colder than he meant to be, but maybe it would make her leave.
"What am I supposed to do if you cook yourself out here?!" she demanded. "Oh yeah, real heroic. Let the sun fry you while you stand on the roof. At least you could pick a better exit."
A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth, but he shut it down. She had a point, but he really didn't care anymore and told her so.
"It doesn't matter how I go out. Nothing I've done really matters. She's gone. Everything I ever did, I did because of her. Just her. And now she's gone." Angel looked at his friend, the tears falling freely. "I don't have what it takes to make it without her. Sometimes I wish I did. But mostly I just want to be with her. Maybe when I let them fold time back, let them take away my humanity, I threw away the one chance I ever had at actually being with her. I gave up the chance to see her every day, to be next to her while she slept. I gave it all away."
Cordy felt her heart ache for him. The loss he had suffered was more than she could imagine. No, Buffy hadn't been her best friend, and yes, she was hurting too. But she had never considered it in that light before. Never considered what he had really given up so he could get the redemption he wanted so badly. Redemption he hoped would eventually lead back to her.
"I don't think anyone that you helped would think it was all for nothing. You touched people's lives Angel. That more than some humans do, ever."
He smiled this time. Holding a hand out to her, he finally looked at her. She slid her hand into his and he pulled her close, hugging her tightly. Never would he have imagined she would have turned out to be such a loyal friend.
"You've done great you know Cordelia. I never would have guessed you had it in you. But you do. Don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise, ok?"
The finality in his voice pushed all hope from her.
"What about me?" she asked in a small voice. "What am I going to do if you're gone?"
Angel hugged her tighter. "One door closes and another opens," he said softly. "That's what they told me after Doyle died. You'll know it when it opens. I promise. I'll be watching. I'll say hi to Dennis for you."
She said nothing, unable to find words that would mean anything. When his grip on her tightened, she let go of him and stepped away.
"Go on," he said gently, "I don't want you to see this."
Her feet made her move, but she wasn't sure how since the rest of her body didn't seem to be paying any attention to what her mind was saying. Stopping at the door, she turned to look at him one last time.
"Angel?"
He turned his attention to her and smiled slightly. "Yeah?"
"I'm gonna miss you." It was as close to admitting she cared as she had ever really come.
The chuckle was light, but it reached his eyes. "I'll miss you too."
Angel looked away then, facing the sun, and closed his eyes. He waited for the pain to fill him. Waited for the burning of his undead flesh. It never came.
"Angel." The voice cut through him and he wondered if he was in hell again.
"Angel, it's time."
His eyes opened slowly. She was standing there, ethereal light wrapping her in warmth. Her green eyes sparkled and her smile was soft. A hand reached for him.
"Buffy?" Disbelief filled him, but his heart fluttered with hope. "Why are you here?"
"It's time to go Angel. We've got other places to be. Other people who need us," she answered.
Her hand touched his and he felt the warmth of the light flow into him. Amazement replaced disbelief and he smiled at her. She whispered his name again just as the sun broke away from the horizon and shed the first rays of light over the city. Angel was vaguely aware of his body burning, but he felt no pain as she pulled him to her.
"I've been waiting for an eternity for this," she whispered.
"I know."
Dipping his head, his lips touched hers. Both felt the fusion, the merging of souls that had been too long parted.
Breaking away, she smiled up at him. Tears gathered in her eyes, but he felt the happiness in her. Felt her emotions, her love. Felt her soul touching his, making both of them complete.
"Come on," she said again, "It's time to go."
Hand in hand they turned, walking back into the light.
***
Cordy spun around, hoping to say something that would make him change his mind. Her mouth hung open as she watched the scene unfold before her. As she watched Buffy take his hand. As his body burned, as his soul was freed.
Finally, she managed to close her mouth and turn again to the door. The kiss told her all she needed to know and she smiled faintly. Maybe it wouldn't make it easy for her, but it had been time for him. He had just seen that before she had.
*******
Tears had made her eyes red, weeping had made her throat raw, and weariness made her muscles feel like they were made of mush. Dennis had tried to get her to go to bed, but she refused. She just wanted to sit up a little longer. Watch the sunset. Watch the end of her life here.
The knock at the door made her jump. At first she glared, then just tried to ignore it. But Dennis would have none of it. A not so polite shove forced her off the couch and a nudge made her go to the door.
Without looking fist, she jerked the door open, prepared to give whoever was standing there a piece of her mind.
It was Xander. Xander?
"Cordelia," he said as he pushed his way in. "Guess what? The Hellmouth was closed. But we found another one. In LA. Giles and Willow will be up in a minute. We figured branching out would be good. You know, start shutting them all down now that we know how."
Xander closed the door behind him and crossed the room. She gaped at him as he started for the kitchen.
"You got anything to eat in here? It was a long drive. Giles wouldn't even let us stop for potty breaks. He's on a mission." The refrigerator door opened. "Oh yeah, Spike will be here tomorrow. He's tying up some loose ends in Sunnydale."
Looking up at the ceiling, Cordy shook her head. "I take it back!" she said, "I was kidding. All that stuff I said about not wanting to be alone? I lied. Really." Giles pushed the door open and smiled brightly. "Haven't I suffered enough already?" she wailed. Willow followed on Giles' heels, and waved as she made a beeline for the kitchen as well. "I don't want another door to open. Take it back!"