I do not own Last Ship (or this would totally be canon)
reviews welcome
...
Tex found Rachel beating a punching bag as if it had mortally offended her. He stepped up and held it steady. "Want to talk about it?" he asked.
She gave the bag a few more savage kicks before going for her water bottle. Tex didn't push. It was something she loved about him. He knew when to break the tension with light banter and when to shut up.
She could hardly look at him. "I'm a horrible human being." She managed to get out.
"Speaking as someone who worked at Gitmo, I feel qualified to refute that statement out of hand. I know you. And you're an amazing woman. You've saved so many lives, how could you ever think that? You're a shoo-in for the Nobel; there are no other runners."
She almost broke down at his blind faith in her but pushed his words away, unconvinced. "I may not be a terrorist, but…"
Tex laughed. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to laugh, but-" he burst out again. He sat down on a bench and pulled her down next to him.
At his touch, she stiffened. It hurt him, but he accepted it. "How about we take it from the top. It must have been recent. Something to do with when we were in Baltimore?"
She shook her head, strangling the water bottle in her hands. "After."
Tex would have bet money it had something to do with Baltimore and Granderson's horrific utopia and the fight back to the ship. Anything Rachel might have said or done, well, it was for the good of humanity. But what had happened since then but mass produce the vaccine?
"I got hold of my mentor. I asked about my boyfriend… As far as he knows, he never got out of China… They were even worse off than the US. He's dead. He has to be."
Before Tex could say a word about hope, she continued. "… and I'm relieved."
"Say what now?"
"Of course I'm sorry he's dead. But if both of us survived the red flu, while so many people lost loved ones, he'd see it as fate and propose to me on the spot. Quincy was right. He had a family; I had a recreational partner. I don't want to marry him. He was someone to miss, a warm bed to come home to and someone I didn't have to reorder my life around to be around more, you know? The right amount of affection with the right amount of distance. I'm glad he's not risking his life, struggling to travel around a post-apocalyptic world back to me only for me to tell him I've moved on."
Tex stopped breathing. Could mean anything. He told himself. She hadn't sought him out; she could be talking about the captain (was probably talking about the captain), a captain who was conveniently now a widower.
"At first it was easy to stay faithful to him. I was too busy to sleep let alone socialize. The crew didn't care for me, and even if they did, they have rules about fraternizing. And it felt… wrong to feel happy while people were dying."
Tex wanted to scream at her, "Who is it?" At the same time, he didn't want it confirmed. It had to be the captain. Or maybe the XO Slattery. They had a rough start of it, but he seemed to warm up to her recently. Or maybe she was dealing with the loss of Quincy. Sure he was married, and kinda squirrely looking, but the sheer amount of time they spent together, well, stranger things happened.
He fought off the anger and tried to be supportive. After all, he was the dummy that asked. But was there no other person on this ship to talk boys, she has to talk to the man she knows has feelings for her? "Happiness has always been precious. In this shit hole, even more so. Don't know if you know this, being a Brit and all, but it's your inalienable right – right up there with life and liberty." He forced a smile and stood to leave.
"Tex…" she said, catching his arm.
Did she know what that did to him? He wondered. Her touch sent lightning through his body. That soft way she said his name – like a sigh – felt like he was liquefying from the inside out (but in a good way). 2% body fat. He reminded himself sternly. I don't have any soft spots.
What pathetic lie that was.
"Yeah, darlin'?" he asked. That's right, keep it cool.
"I can't stop thinking about the vaccine trial." She admitted.
I could take your mind off it – stop it, don't say that. She's not interested. "That so?"
She scowled at him as if he should know what she was getting at and didn't want to spell it out. What was he supposed to say? He didn't know the first thing about virology except virus equals disease, and, in the case of the Red Flu, agonizing death.
"You were running a high fever, so I don't even know if you remember… and you could have been talking to a ghost in your past or a giant purple elephant for all I know, but you said…"
"You make me want to love again." He said. "I was talking to you."
She thought I was hallucinating? Well, it was incredibly sappy, but I thought I might be dying.
"You joke all the time. You kissed me, but then you left. And then, when you came back, you were distant. Did you just get bored? Please, just once, tell me seriously, what exactly do you want from me?"
Exactly? That could take a while. Or maybe I could show you – stop it; she doesn't mean that.
Is this really happening?
Answer the question; she's waiting.
Uh…
"I want… well crap, I hadn't gotten that far… Right now was topping the charts." Keeping your dreams small usually kept major disappointments away. Now that that dream was a reality, he scrambled to keep himself in check, or he'd say the "L" word again way too soon like a creepy stalker. "I want you to take me seriously. I want whatever you want to give me. I want to kiss you again."
"I want you to kiss me again," Rachel whispered.
Tex let out a shaky breath, incredulous this incomparable woman actually wanted him. His hands found her hips and guided her body closer. Their first kiss he'd taken, expecting only one, it was rough, passionate and a little bit bitter. It was way out of line, and he felt guilty about it for a long time. He wanted to give this time if only her lips weren't so distracting.
Rachel tangled her fingers in his hair. When he returned to Baltimore and rescued her it was all she could do not to fall in his arms. But he was all business that day. Sure, there was a time and place, and a firefight was not one of them, but logic and reason didn't stop her from being disappointed. She wanted another kiss; he surprised her with their first. She wanted to show him she was a better kisser than that.
"About time. I lost the pool a month ago."
They turned and saw the XO loading weights for his workout.
"As you were." Mike winked.
Tex took Rachel's hand and led her on deck. The lab or their rooms would be more private but he wasn't sure how well he could keep his hands to himself and wanted to assure her she wasn't some booty call just because she was the only woman aboard he could fraternize with. She had some ideas about him he wanted to debunk first.
The sun was setting when they arrived at the stern rail. They certainly weren't in the tropics anymore, judging by the cold wind. It felt wonderful against his fevered body. Rachel shivered, and he held her, happier than he could remember being; even before the outbreak his life was bleak.
Rachel rested her head against his shoulder letting her mind marinate in the feeling of being cherished. She always came second in her boyfriend's priorities. His job came first, and she accepted it because she did the same to him. She thought that was what made their relationship work. She thought that was what might make a relationship with the captain work.
The captain would put the mission first, and for the time being the mission was her, and she liked the attention. The captain was a good man – a great man - but sooner or later he would have a new mission, and he would leave her as he left his wife, for the greater good. She accepted that – even admired him for his discipline.
"Tex?"
"Yeah, darlin'?"
"If it came down to protecting me or protecting my research and samples on the cure, what would you choose?"
"That's too easy. You. Research and samples can be replaced; you can't. A better test would be you vs. the world. The answer is the same. Even you vs. me, it's still you."
"Why?"
He shrugged. "I'm a soldier. I've been willing to die for a whole lot less."
"But the big picture." She protested.
"I'll make you a deal: you worry about the big picture, and I'll worry about the little picture and together we'll see it all."
Where have you been all my life? Rachel thought, looking up at him. Don't say that to him, though. Cheesy. "Agree to disagree."
"No."
"What?"
"I'm going to keep arguing your life is worth more than anyone else's, just because-" Tex shut his trap just in time. That was a close one.
Rachel smiled and rested her head on his shoulder. "I love you too."