Domesticity
Chapter 1: A belligerent hen
Author: chinesebakery
Summary: Mimi makes an unfortunate encounter in the poultry house.
Characters: Mimi, Stanley
Rating: G
Spoilers: 1x06, 9.02
Disclaimer: Not my toys.
A/N: Thanks to thebeckert for the help & beta

"Here's the deal," Mimi tried to reason with Stanley again, paying no attention to the teenager glaring at her not so covertly. "You let me stay here, and I will deduct my room and board from what you owe the IRS."

"Fine, fine, why not?" he agreed a little too quickly, earning an astonished scowl from his sister. "I can use an extra field hand and you can help Bonnie with the cooking and the washing."

"Okay, maybe you don't understand the nature of a deal. I don't do housework," Mimi affirmed, trying to quiet her growing worry. Staying at this ranch was a bad bad idea, but she was running out of options.

Xxxxx

"You'll sleep in the guest room upstairs," Stanley announced as Mimi dropped her bags at the bottom of the stairs and looked up at him expectantly. With a smile and a shake of his head, Stanley pushed the luggage out of the way with his foot and climbed up the stairs, leaving Mimi to glare resentfully at his back as she picked the bags up and followed him upstairs.

"This is your room," Stanley informed her as he pushed the door open.

"Stylish," Mimi snickered as she dropped the heavy suitcase on the bed and looked around the room, ignoring Stanley's glare. Damn, she missed her condo. She took in the small, neat room that seemed frozen in the 60's, before joining Stanley back in the hall.

"The bathroom is second door on the left. Don't go roaming around Bonnie's room – or mine. And you're definitely not allowed near that room ever again," Stanley added, glowering at the door to the tiny office where he kept his accounting files.

"Killjoy," Mimi pouted.

"Ok," he continued as he jogged back downstairs. "Here are the rules."

"The what?" Mimi echoed incredulously as her eyes grew wider.

"The rules," Stanley repeated calmly. "We're on a schedule here. If you can't keep up, too bad. Don't expect us to wait for you. We have breakfast at 7-"

"My watch and alarm clock don't work anymore."

"You better get up as early as you can, then, because we won't save food for you. In the morning, you'll be in charge of collecting the eggs-"

"Wait, if you actually expect me to step inside that poultry house-"

"-and feeding the poultry. Don't worry, they're going to love you," he assured her, looking way too pleased for her liking.

"Not gonna happen," Mimi crossed her arms against her chest defiantly.

"I usually spend the afternoon working in the field," Stanley continued as if he hadn't heard her. "Bonnie will let you know how to make yourself useful around the house. Oh, and no more hanging at Bailey's until the place closes. You'd be useless the next day."

"Feeding chickens isn't exactly rocket science, I could do it with a headache," Mimi argued defensively. "Wait a minute," she started again, realizing what she had just agreed to, "I'm sure we can find some belated accounting work for me to do-"

"How about you find another place to stay?"

"This is just-"

"Your new job," he finished with a large, toothy smile.

Xxxxx

"Uncle Sam! We didn't think we'd be seeing you today. You missed breakfast by a good four hours."

"I'm not a morning person," a disheveled and short-tempered Mimi claimed as she made her way to the kitchen, still in her pajamas.

"That's shocking news," Stanley frowned, feigning concern.

"Can you try not to aggravate me before my morning coffee?"

"Sorry, no coffee for you today. Maybe you'll consider getting up earlier tomorrow. The chickens are waiting to be fed. Actually, they've been waiting for quite some time. Here," Stanley said cheerfully as he handed her a basket.

"What's that for?"

"You're collecting the eggs, remember? Try not to break any, or they might resent you," he added, delighting in her infuriated scowl.

"You're a freaking tyrant, you know that, right?" Mimi barked as she snatched the basket from his hands.

Xxxxx

"Hello. I'm going to need your attention for a minute, okay?" Mimi announced as she kneeled down in front of the animals, disregarding their obvious disinterest. "I'm Mimi. Mimi Clark. From now on, I'll be the one bringing you the yummy grains," she continued with a forced smile.

She had never felt so ridiculous in her life.

"Okay," she breathed deeply to give herself courage. "I'm afraid I'll also have to take your eggs away. Please don't take it personally," she pleaded, but the chickens didn't react.

"Here's how it's gonna work. I'm going to throw some food your way. While I take the eggs, you'll look away so I don't feel too bad, okay?" she informed them as she started throwing handful of grains around the poultry house.

Mimi praised her own self-control as she managed to not run away when the chickens bolted in every direction to pick up the food in a rush of feathers and hay. She even inched closer, her eyes searching for the eggs, when she noticed the large hen that stood still in a corner. It was staring at her intensely, menacingly inflating her feathers.

"Uh, hi? Hello?" she addressed the lonely beast as she carefully reached for the eggs. "Did you not hear what I just said? Do you have any… questions" She turned to pick up another egg, feeling the little black eyes examining her. It was not a pleasant feeling.

"Look, I don't enjoy this anymore than you do. If you've got complains, you'll have to take them to him." She paused, but the constant staring was distracting her from the task at hand. "Stop looking at me like that. You're freaking me out."

But the animal kept staring at her.

"Aren't you hungry? Here," she threw another handful of grains next to the singled out hen. "Knock yourself out."

Xxxxx

"Took you long enough," Stanley admonished as he raised his eyes from his reading.

"Yeah, well, I would have been done ages ago if your chicken weren't insane. I'm gonna need some iodine," Mimi added as she put down the egg basket on the table between them before letting herself fall on a chair.

"What for?"

"I think Medusa's just gone carnivorous on me."

"What? Who's- wait," Stanley frowned as he seized her arm to examine the red, angry marks that covered her forearm. "How did you get hurt?" he asked with a hint genuine concern.

"One of the hens hates me," she supplied in a tired sigh.

"Medusa's a hen?"

"A crazy, belligerent hen."

"Okay," Stanley tried to conceal his growing amusement. "I'll get the first-aid kit."

"You think that's really funny, don't you?"

"Half an hour in a poultry house and you manage to make enemies. Chickens are a good judge of character, you know?"

"Oh, shut up."

Xxxxx