Perfect

Revan was perfect. I knew this more than anyone.

Not because I was his general

Not because I was his one-sided friend.

Because I watch…I watched him from far away.

One remains in the shadow.

Only one remains in a single sunny spot.

The young prodigy was beautiful in form. At thirteen his frame was still slender. His very long black hair were beauty itself and his silver eyes were a true gift of a goddess. The body of a child with the power and experience of a battle god. The grace of a feline and the skills of a true genius. A dream inside reality. His face, when he slept, was angelic; the dark smudges and lines of exhaustion smoothed away, and long lashes brushed soft cheeks. When you couldn't see his eyes, Revan looked as innocent and peaceful as a child of heaven.

Revan's mind was as perfect as his body. Analytical, intelligent, observant. Revan was sharper, smarter, faster than men with two or three times his age and experience. You could see it in his eyes; too knowing, cold and arrogant for a young Jedi. Too ancient in pain and sadness and malice.

I can't help but marvel and worship this young man who was everything I wanted to be.
He, who has accomplished many things for all the people, for our civilization, for the Republic.
He, who was born to be the savior of all being and to bear all the sins of all worlds in this ocean of stars. How can one not admire him for all his hard work and for his magnificent own sense of justice.

He was the perfect Jedi.

However for myself it's another story.

I was the failure of the Jedi Order, the one who couldn't use a Light saber or the Force very well as everyone in the order. I wasn't a genius like Revan, I was what the others called me: the dead last. But even so I didn't give up, I started to train myself alone and sometimes with Atris. I started to train harder and harder to be at his level, I wanted to be acknowledged by only him. Maybe this will seems selfish but…At the beginning I wanted to be acknowledged by Revan so I could have a better rang in the Jedi Order.

One day when I was at the training room alone, depressed because I failed again at something, I realized that I wasn't alone in the room. I turned around to look at him. Just a second glance I saw that he was a Jedi knight. I saw it on the way he walked, the way he snapped up on things around him and the way he did not look back at me. How could that be possible I thought. He was younger than me…I have five years more than him so I was surprised. Then, like the foolish idiot I was, I challenged him. And worst, I said everything to him, all my old thoughts of him, how it was unfair that everyone praised him, how he was treated special and that he knew nothing of the hard work and hardship I have endured. After I finished I was ashamed of myself, how could I have the nerve to say all those things to him. I mean it all but still this was very immature.

Now he has every right not to fight me and even before. After a few moment of silence I heard a small chuckled. What? Was he…mocking me? How dare he? And before I could answered he said "So you envy me…like everyone." That was not a query, that was a statement. "I mean…I know I am perfect and special but it can't be helped you know." That arrogant little… "What I don't understand is why…why everyone think I am the only one special."…What? "Maybe it's because they can't see it." Then he sight and said with a gentle smile. "When people admire others it's because they can see what make them special." "You don't see it but I can see it…What make YOU special." "I am perfect and you too but in our different way." "If you want to be acknowledged for who you are and if you want to win against me, you have to work harder than what you do now." And after that he left.

He…He was so different. From what I have heard he was very arrogant and pretentious. But to think that he thought of me as special…That someone like me could…

Before he left I said "Wait…What…What is your name?"
And always with that gentle smile he wore he answered to my question.
At this moment I knew the name of the center of my attention

"Revan."