It was definitely too much. That was the last straw. She rested her head on her hands, which she had her elbows propped on the table. She was looking directly at Sikowitz, his motions and his lips moving; he was teaching after all. But try as she might, whatever knowledge the somewhat crazy teacher was trying to impart was lost on the young half-Latin. There were so many things in her mind now, occupying so much of her brain capacity it basically left her with no additional brain power to think about anything else. It was a good thing breathing was naturally done, else she would have collapsed on the spot from the lack of it.
These few weeks were a pile of bad things on top of another, cascading down her body like a ton of bricks, trapping her inside with no breathing room. It was in a word, suffocating.
Two months ago , she was literally the happiest person on the surface of planet Earth. She had come to terms with her sexuality, somehow, and had confessed her feelings to one Catherine Valentine. It was indeed nerve wrecking to wait for her answer, but she was so literally elated and on cloud nine when the beautiful redhead said yes. However it was all downhill from there. Two weeks into dating Cat, they had decided to come out of the closet to their friends. Expecting a supportive response from the group was apparently too much as they all frowned upon their homosexuality, refusing any contact with them until they were properly broken up. The couple had refused outright, but apparently their so called friends weren't the only ones to discriminate against them. Both their families were so against their decision, they were both given a stern lecturing, and were not allowed to see each other at all until otherwise.
For three weeks they managed to defy them, until Cat suddenly gave up. And she has found out in the most painful way possible. When she arrived at school last Monday, exactly seven days agoa, Cat was busy kissing Robbie. She was shocked beyond belief, so much so her heart didn't feel the pain because it was suddealt being numb. She managed to keep a straight face, and lasted until lunch without any problems. When she had confronted the short redhead, Cat had answered with guilt that she couldn't stand not seeing her friends anymore and she knew Robbie liked her, so she decided to give him a chance.
Tori simply nodded, smiled and left. In her chest, her heart was finally comprehending the situation, and she was feeling the effects of her betrayal. It felt like her heart was pierced by a pair of rusty scissors, twisted twice and yanked out. Bleeding out like a faucet, still it continued to beat, with every muscle contraction she felt it more. It was painfully pounding in her brain like a drum struck with flails, and it was so unbearable that she escaped secret room above the Black Box Theater. The janitor's closer no longer held any privacy. There was a switch blade she always kept with her for self defence, and flipped the sharp blade to expose it. She pushed up her purple long sleeve on her left hand, all the way to the elbows, smooth caramel forearms. She placed the blade across her forearm, close to her elbows. The metal felt cold and inviting to her warm skin. She didn't think, and her right hand automatically pressed the blade against the skin, immediately breaking it and drawing blood. The pain made her feel better so she proceeded to run the blade across another part of her skin, breaking it easily, and once again, drawing blood. She flexed her left hand, feeling the pain course through as she caused the wounds to open more.
This is it, she thought. This is the release she needed so desperately. There was pleasure and escape beneath the physical pain and she was going to use it to bury her emotional pain. So it became a practice, every time she would think of her life now, she'd escape to the secret room, and run the blade across her skin. Two cuts every time she visited the room, multiple times a day.
Seven days of cutting she had gathered cuts all over her arms, so much so she needed to wear long sleeves everyday to hide it. She recently started on her feet, those were the places now that were untouched by the blade.
She had winced every time she bumped into someone, but no one paid her any mind since she never said everything.
She closed the door to her home, tossing the house keys onto the bowl that was by the door.
"Victoria, have you considered what we talked about?" Holly asked from the kitchen table. Tori looked in that direction and saw her whole family sitting down, eyes looking at her expectantly. She nodded weakly.
"Well?" David, her father asked.
"I'll leave," Tori answered weakly. This question was the one she dreaded to answer. She had to surrender her sexuality, or leave. It was never a choice. David nodded. "If that is your final choice."
"Tori, please," Trina, her sister pleaded. "Just give it up. Where will you go?"
Trina was so desperately trying to get her sister to stay. They had no immediate relatives in the area, her friends shunned her, Tori literally had no where to go.
"Does it matter, Trina?" Tori asked with a small smile. "How can I surrender who I am? How can I not accept myself?"
"Dad, mom, please," Trina pleaded to her parents. "I'll make her change. Please."
"She has made her decision and it is final," David said with finality, leaving virtually no room for argument.
The young Vega, now disowned, nodded and left wordlessly. Trina ran up to her room, tears clouding her vision so much it was a wonder she made it up the flight of stairs without tripping.
Tori found herself on the Black Box Theatre, in the middle of the stage. There was an arm chair on the chair, probably a prop left over from the play today. She took a seat on the chair, sinking her tired body against the cushion of the comfortable arm chair.
She rolled up the sleeve of her left arm again, exposing the red angry cuts she gave herself everyday. With practiced ease, she flipped the blade open. She placed the paper containing her message to the world on her thigh, along with her phone. She took the blade, looking at the shiny edge, and took a deep breathe. Like before she placed the sharpened edge against her skin, and pushed it deep. .her skin, severing an artery. The blood flowed like an open water faucet, and she began to feel herself get light headed. She smiled as she laid back against the arm chair, a small smile adorning her tired face as she was finally granted the ultimate release from life and pain -death.
The next morning, Cat and her friends arrived at Hollywood Arts early. There was a script assignment that they needed to reenact and they planned to hog the Black Box for themselves before anyone. They laughed as they discuss the script amongst themselves, opening the black doors into the theater. The place was dark, as all the lights were off, but once they entered the room, the strong smell of copper filled their noses, causing them to be nauseated. Andre felt his way around the room, sticking to the walls and ignoring the stickiness of the ground. He found the switch eventually, and flipped it. The group sighed in relief as they welcomed light into their vision, but once they saw the ground was red, they froze. Daring themselves to look up, a pit appeared in their stomachs as they laid eyes on the still figure, whose head was now resting on the arm, the owner no longer able to keep it up. Brown hair cascaded down like a waterfall, covering her face as she seemed to be resting.
Cat Valentine stood in shock. The room was deadly silent, but she could hear the pounding of her heartbeat in her ears, banging away as it drowned out any comments made by her friends on the situation. Before she knew it, she was kneeling down in front of the still Latina, her shaking hands moving slowly to move Tori's hair from blocking her face. She did, and could finally see a small smile adorning the Latina's face. She reached out and touch it- it was cold. Her eyes traced Tori's left hand, following from her shoulders to her upper arms, down forearms, as slowly as possible, fearing what she might see. She never noticed her friends behind her, standing above her, all with very shocked looks on their faces. Cat finally looked at the gaping wound on Tori's wrist, and everything suddenly became ultimately clear.
Tori Vega was dead.
Cat screamed. She screamed as loud as she could, tears streaming down her face, voice getting more and more hoarse as she screamed and cried at the same time. The others were stunned, as if they couldn't believe that the young ray of sunshine, so kind and selfless, they had shunned, took her own life.
"TORI!" A voice called out, pushing past the small crowd that had been drawn by Cat's blood curling scream. Trina was immediately in front of her sister, shaking her, hoping that all of this wasn't true, that the sister she loved so much, that loved her so much in return, wasn't gone.
"Please, Tori, don't leave me," she sobbed silently. There was a loud thud, drawing all eyes towards the source. She shakily picked up Tori's phone, ignoring the sticky blood on it, and unlocked it. Yes, she knew sister's password. They were that close. It was opened to a recording app, and the list shows that there were a few audio files that were recently recorded. She played the first one.
"Trina, you know I love you. You're the best sister anyone could ask for, even if you act mean and selfish, but I know that you truly care about me. I am so sorry I couldn't be the sister you needed and wanted, and I am so sorry for being so weak. Trina, listen to me, there is a safety box in my room, in the back of the closet, please keep it safe for me. Everything inside are all the memories I cherished with you, and I only trust you with it. You were beside me all the way when I came out to you, you held my hand, you gave me the strength I desperately lacked. I'm just sorry I couldn't be around to share your happiness. Live your life fully, and I will be watching from a better place."
Trina played the next clip.
"Cat, it's okay. I understand that you were scared to come to terms with being my girlfriend, but I don't blame you. We live in a world where being different is being shunned, but I would have fought with you. I would have protected you, and I would have given you all that I have. So it was the last straw when I saw you kissing Robbie. You had already given up, and without you, there was nothing left for me to fight for. I wish I could have kissed you more, held you more, cuddled with you more, but it wasn't to be. Embrace yourself, Cat, for you are beautiful just the way you are. I'm just sorry you couldn't be brave for me."
Trina looked at Cat. Her face was contorted into an expression of extreme regret and sadness, shame and horror. A look if disappointment crossed Trina's face, and she played the third audio clip.
"To my friends Andre Harris, Beckkett Oliver, Jadelyn West, Robert Shapiro, and my parents: I am not sorry that I am gay. It's not wrong. I loved all of you, even Jade, and I have helped all of you when you needed me most. But when the time came, you abandoned me. I cannot describe how alone I felt, being alienated from my friends, being abandoned by my family, being kicked out of my home. Nonetheless, your choices were already made, and I myself will always regret that you couldn't accept me as I accepted you all- Andre and Beck's lifestyle where you treat girls like prizes, Jade's psychological insecurities and her need to guard her heart from anyone with her front of being mean and unlikable, and Robbie's inability to communicate with the opposite well enough, it gave birth to Rex.
Mom, dad. I love you both. As I did with my friends, I accepted you both as you were. I know you're seeing Gary behind dad's back, mom. And I know dad is seeing that young stripper behind your back too. You both need to sit down and rebuild your marriage, if not for yourselves then for Trina. She needs you both now more than ever."
Trina looked at the phone. That was the last audio clip. She took the paper that Tori had placed under the phone. There, written blood was a quote.
-Society thought that being gay is a death sentence-
Trina stood up, holding both the phone and the paper in her trembling hands and with a look that was as hateful as she could muster "You did this."
It cut the group deep. Especially Cat, who took a few steps back, bumping into Jade, who held her. "You made this happen. My sister is dead because of you."
Before the group could answer, police and medical personal burst through the crowd, and began to ask people to step back so they could work.
News travel fast. Especially in a prestigious acting school, the media was already covering the suicide.
"This is Morning News, where we are outside the house of LAPD police officer David Vega, who, along with his wife, is taking into questioning and charged with involuntary manslaughter of their youngest daughter, Victoria Vega..."
Trina stood over the grave, her eyes looking intently at the words on the headstone.
It read "Victoria Maria Vega, 1996 -2010, loving daughter, sister and wonderful friend. You will forever be missed"
"It's been four years, Tori. I wonder where you are, you know?" she said, as she knelt in front of the headstones. "I often wonder if you are with God and his angels, because that's where you deserve to be. Mom and Dad are still in prison, by the way. I don't know where the rest are, I didn't talk to them. Cat misses you though."
She stood up. "I have to go. I'll see you soon."
Trina look out at the crowd from behind the stage curtain. The MC announced over the PA system "Here to talk about "LGBT are as human as the world", please welcome Katrina Vega!"
It was her cue to appear.
"Thank you very much for having me at TED. Before I start, I want to share with you all the story of my beloved late sister, Tori..."
THE END.
I wrote this on my fucking phone..don't you dare say anything