Talk Like a Pirate Day

Author's Notes: Well, today is Talk Like a Pirate Day, in case you didn't know that. If you didn't, you should go check out the web site. So, I was sitting there, working on my History paper, when the idea for this story came to me. Well, the paper is about Jeffersonian Republicanism of the 1790s – of course my mind started to wander! Anyway, hopefully this little bit of sillyness will amuse one or two of you out there. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Pirates of the Caribbean OR Talk Like a Pirate Day.

Gibbs strolled across the main deck of the Black Pearl, humming a pirate tune. He spotted Captain Jack Sparrow at the helm and headed in that direction.

"Ahoy, Cap'n! Where be the swag? I be lookin' for some paper. Arghhh!"

Jack looked at his friend and frowned. "Mr. Gibbs, have you taken leave of your senses, man? You're talking mighty strange, far stranger than you usually do. If I were you, I'd lay off the rum, mate."

"But Cap'n! Haven't ye heard? It be the International Talk like a Pirate Day!! Arghh!"

"I see. And how would you have come to acquire this piece of information? How come I've never heard of it?"

"I heard about it from a fellow in Tortuga. He was three sheets to the wind, but he told me about this holiday. He heard about it from his cousin's daughter's friend's father's aunt. Twice removed. Arggh."

"Gibbs, in all the years I've been a pirate, I've never said 'Arghh.'"

"Aye, but today ye have to, 'cause it's Talk Like a Pirate Day. Arghhh."

"Gibbs, please stop with the 'Argghhs.' Now why are you looking for paper?"

"I want to draw a map to me hidden treasure."

Jack raised his eyebrows. "Gibbs, you don't have any hidden treasure."

"I don't?" Gibbs heaved a dramatic sigh. "I can't be a proper pirate without hidden treasure." He sat down and buried his face in his hands. "I'm a failure."

"Gibbs, mate. Hidden treasure is highly overrated. If your treasure is hidden, you can't spend it, savvy?"

Gibbs jumped to his feet, and looked at Jack, hopefully. "'Tis true! So, since I don't have any hidden treasure, that must mean I be the best pirate in the Spanish Main. Argghh!!!"

"No, that's where you're wrong. That would be me -- I'm Captain Jack Sparrow!"

"That ye are, Cap'n. But ye have to talk more like a pirate! Avast! Arggh!"

"Stop saying 'Arghh'! I need some rum. Mr. Cotton! Take the wheel."

Cotton, came over, and took over the helm, his parrot squawking, "Shiver me timbers!! Shiver me timbers!"

Gibbs nodded approvingly. "The bird knows how t' talk like a pirate. 'Shiver me timbers' is a proper pirate sayin'. Arggh!!!!!!"

Walking toward the Captain's Cabin, where Jack kept his private stash of rum, the Captain shook his head. "No, no, no. Talking like a pirate is however you talk if you are, indeed, a pirate. Therefore, if you are a pirate, then you already talk like a pirate. Savvy?"

Gibbs looked confused. "I need some rum."

"'Course you do. Here you go. Drink up."

Both Gibbs and Jack took a long drink. Then a look of outrage came upon Gibbs' face. "Ye scurvy bilge-rat! This ain't rum! 'Tis only water!"

Jack looked confused. "Why is the rum gone?" He strode out of the room, looking to find an answer.

He found said answer in the galley, where the entire crew was sitting around drinking, and singing "Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me!"

Jack glared at them. "You scabrous dogs stole all me rum!"

Gibbs looked at Jack. "Stealin' rum is a mighty terr'ble offence, Cap'n. Ye should keelhaul 'em!! Arggh!"

"Sorry Cap'n," yelled out Anamaria, "but we needed the rum to celebrate Talk Like a Pirate Day. Have a seat, there be plenty o' rum and grog to go around. Arggh!!!!!!"

Jack's shoulder's slumped in defeat. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. He went over to Anamaria's table, and sat down. "Aye! Let's have some rum."

The crew cheered and poured him a drink. Gibbs sat down on the other side of Ana. "I knew we could get him into the spirit of things. After all, it's only once a year that Talk Like a Pirate Day comes along."

Ana nodded. "He'll be talkin' like a proper pirate after he's had a coupla pints."

Gibbs grinned. "Of course, he will. He's Captain Jack Sparrow! ARGGHHH!!!!"

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