Silence never usually lasted long between them. When they got together sentences became easier and it didn't matter if weird things were said or stupid actions were done. All they would do is laugh about it.
Laugh about life.
It took laughter and good times to smuggle away the pain. Sure the scars were permanently there, and some of them would never heal—but laughter was the best numbing substance.
"And you told me to go watch Sesame Street!" A cheerful voice teased. His cheeky brown orbs, marveling at moonlight cutting through blond locks.
The blonde was hunched up beside him, fingers fumbling together as his eyes stared at the older male. The boy with Mickey Mouse Ears resting on his fluffy curly black hair, a bit of his bangs blowing in the wind slightly. Eyes sparkling more bright than the lights all stringed up around the park. Tightly, he had one arm holding a Stitch plushie and a hand holding an ice cream cone.
Licking the sweet strawberry substance, "Ash?" Came a timid voice, "Are you listening to me?"
"Hmm, Eiji?" Compassion flashed in Ash's icy emerald eyes, a rare sight that only Eiji got to see. The boy slumped back on the bench, mouth slightly agape as he looked around at the scene unraveling before him.
It was strange for Ash to finally relax. He'd been slowly adjusting to living life without the threat of someone trying to kill him.
Eiji dipped his head, "I'm sorry." He sucked on his tongue. "Is it me? For some reason..." A drop of guilt invaded his tone. "I think when you see me, you lose concentration."
"Heh?" Ash screwed up an eyebrow, "What makes you think…." Words once resting on his tongue dissolved as an old memory resurfaced. Eiji had been there when Arthur managed to stab him.
The same contorted face Eiji made back then at the sight resurfaced. Slightly brows knitted in a frown of disapproval, a slack jaw, and horror stricken coffee brown eyes. Oh those eyes. They were like a slap in the face harder than the words were. "When you got stabbed by Lao was it because you were reading my letter? I'm sorry, if my presence sends your mind to other pla-"
The blonde interrupted correcting, "Happier places!" He slammed his eyes shut. Humming, "It's...I'm happy with you, alright?" It was sappy actually saying junk like that outloud.
It was the kind of basic stuff Eiji spit "Forever" with all that, "By your side" adorable stuff. Ash never intended to hound on such words but those promises were full of hope.
It was his hope.
"Are you still happy ruling the streets of New York?" Eiji sucked his lips between his teeth, "The offer about Japan is still on the table, ya know."
Fluttering his jade eyes open, "No. That never made me happy. The gang I lead….they're like my family." Ash murmured softly. The way he spoke was so tender it was almost as if he feared a scream would shatter reality. This reality was too perfect. Over and over again Ash would stare at Eiji and wonder how could someone so meek and kind exist by his side.
Here—he was normal. They were normal. Nothing out of the ordinary people would take a second glance at.
The feeling of belonging allowed serenity to sink in and comfort Ash's heart.
"I'm glad we came." Ash confessed. "I've never been to Disney. It's been a fun first time." What he really meant to say was, "It's been fun not having to worry about pulling out my gun at everyone that runs up on me. Everyone is so nice and happy. They smile, you smile, I smile."
Disney was a lot like New York, a bunch of people trying to get somewhere. People bumping into people and the long lines. Only Ash was sure he'd never waited over 2 hours to get into a subway.
Eiji smiled happily, "I knew you would like it." He pressed his face in the plushie, rubbing his cheek against the softness. "We have a Disney in Japan. I've been with my family once. It's not as elaborate as this one in Orlando."
"Ooo~elaborate!" Ash repeated playfully lightening up the mood. He tapped Eiji's head insisting, "Someone has been studying up on English!"
Automatically, Eiji's face flustered pink. He opened his mouth then closed it. A slight sugary smack coming from his lips as he pursed them together. "Well I had a full year." An octave lower he added in, "And all I could do was worry about you."
Still the idea of 'care' stimulating from 'worry' made his heart pound. Ash liked it. There was no secret that he liked Eiji fretting over him. It made him feel appreciated. Yet at the same time he knew it wasn't healthy for Eiji to feel this way.
Ash inhaled sharply, "You shouldn't do that. You know I can take care of myself." He stole a quick glance at Eiji's free hand. The Japanese boy had it resting all alone in the middle space between them. An urge came over for him to touch it—To touch the safe haven of paradise.
"You're crazy reckless!"
"So?"
"So….how can I not worry about you!? We're friends Ash!"
Then just like that at the word, 'Friend' Ash withdrew his hand. They were friends. Ash could stay happy as friends. Long as Eiji just wanted to stay friends with him...Ash would..
"I'll live." Ash jeered.
Eiji jumped at the sudden revelation, "Huh?"
"I SAID I'LL LIVE!" Ash shouted louder.
The sound of the declaration making Eiji's heart skip a few beats. The sound of the theme park's music seemed to lower as all his ears took in was Ash's voice. A deep tone flushed with embarrassment as it cracked a few notes higher than once possible.
"Long as your soul is with me." Pink lips admitted sheepishly. Ash touched Eiji's hand several times while explaining. "It was all I could think about at the library. I thought about you and how happy you made me. Caring for me and never asking for anything in return just…." His hand crawled up Eiji's arm, a few fingers messing with his shirt sleeve as he clung to it. "I'm so happy that you exist. I'd be happy knowing you were safe with or without me."
"Ash…" A smile dangled on the corner of Eiji's lips. "I'm trying to reminisce on the past here…" He pouted, cutting his sights up to gaze at the countdown. "Recalling on all the good times that lead us here. Yet once again we're getting all depressed." His body swayed to music dreamily, fond of all their memories.
Ash bit his bottom lip, "You're right. Disney is supposed to be the happiest place on earth. But I think," Quick and jerky like rusty cogs on a wheel unsure of actions, he just placed his hand on top of Eiji's. His rough large ones gently resting on top his clean blood free ones. For once Ash felt relieved that he didn't have to worry about making Eiji dirty. But still self-conscious over it, he tensed up. Barely squeaking out, "You're my happiest place on earth."
A flood of giggles passed through Eiji's mouth. "Haha! Where did you learn that pick up line from?" He was grinning at Ash like an idiot.
The American's jaw went agape in total shock, "I-I..Y-oouu! YOU! You know this is why I gave up being nice to people!"
Eiji kept right on laughing. The countdown getting louder as the crowd went rowdy about the seconds.
"FIVE, FOUR!"
"Glad we're here together." Eiji said, finally able to collect himself. Not minding Ash's prompted hand holding, he flipped the script and laced his fingers around the other hand.
"I've waited so long for you. For a new year, for a new chance..." Shakily Ash followed, locking their hands together in a loving motion. Their skin pressed on one another.
They were just 2 friends. True friends chilling to bring in the New Year.
"TWO!"
"Thank you for choosing me, Ash." Eiji gave a sincere smile at him. For a brief second their eyes met, glimmering brown met with stormy jade. Their eyes clashing with fever, as delicately their bodies edged closer to each other seeking comfort.
The endearing reaction was cut short because soon a realization dawned on Ash, making their eyes keep contact but his gaze became glazed. Ash choose Eiji over death….Being with Eiji over death.
Getting the pleasure to see Eiji.
Ash looked the Disney decorated boy up and down. The cute way his eyes widened and lips parted with each lick his cute tongue took of ice cream.
"ONE!" The crowd roared quickly followed by loud fireworks going off. The light show spelling out, "HAPPY NEW YEAR!"
At first the loud popping sounded too much like gun fire and Ash flinched slightly. He placed his head on Eiji's chest. Trying to block out the nerve wrecking sound, that was slowly making his body quake at each boom erupting in the air.
Getting the pleasure to hear Eiji.
His ears twitching as they found comfort, picking up on the pounding of the poetic organ residing in Eiji's chest. The steady thumping beat that wavered life from death.
Getting the pleasure to touch Eiji.
Ash squeezed their hands together, savoring the moment.
Gently Eiji stroked him, "It's okay, Ash. It's just fireworks."
Ash focused hard on Eiji's heart and the light show to ignore the sounds. It was an inescapable boom but the crackling of colors dancing in the sky was worth it.
"Yeah...Fireworks…" Ash gazed at the midnight sky, jade eyes reflecting on the explosion occurring.
Getting the pleasure to smell Eiji.
Leaning inwards, Ash took a deep breath, capturing the smell of honey basil and green tea leaves.
Holding Ash closer to him, Eiji smiled down on him. The bright golden fireworks in the sky giving him the illusion of an angel as he gazed downward at him. The older male whispering, "Sayonara last year, Konichiwa new year." As Eiji spoke Ash's eyes were glued to his lips.
Lips that had spoken life into Ash allowed him blessed reassurance that everything would be alright.
Getting the pleasure to taste Eiji.
Ash dashed upwards attracting their lips together. They met in a surprisingly hazy bliss. It wasn't perfect and was almost sloppy….more like Ash pecked a shy kiss on the corner of Eiji's mouth. Fireworks blazed in the background exploding like the rapid booming of their hearts.
Pulling away slightly Ash cocked his head and whispered, "Thank you, so much for making my year worth living."
A period of confusion washed over them. Both faces crimson with bashfulness, as they could barely meet each other in the eye.
"Y-you kissed me!?" Eiji's pupils dilated as he touched his lips with his ice cream. The coldness serving as a contrasting reminder of the once soft lips pressed on his own.
"It was the moment!" Ash let out a nervous laugh, "S-sorry. That was an accident!" He gazed up at the sky, trying to forget about such an embarrassing mistake.
"You actually kissed me." Eiji repeated with the same wild disbelief as before. Unnamed emotion flooded his reddening face as he babbled, "This wasn't like back at the jail…You ju-"
"I said it was an accident."
"How do you accidentally kiss someone from our position?"
"Hey, baby~!" Ash gave a subtle wink, "The new year just started, we're in Disney World…!" He jumped to his feet, his anxiety taking over any need to escape.
"You want me to forget about it?" Eiji murmured. A curious look coming over him, as he leaped into action feet hammering the ground. The fireworks were to his back as he gazed at Ash. The older male exclaiming, "That kiss it… it felt like..there was passion." He held tightly to Ash's hand, inciting a relentless need to never let go.
Ash shrugged, trying to ignore the pain laced in Eiji's statement. He hunched over, blond locks covering his cowardly orbs, as a friendly smile rested on his face. He skulked on the edges of the crowd, trying to egg Eiji to come along with him.
Eiji did follow, because he'd follow Ash to the edges of the earth if needed. Together walked into the night illuminating with fireworks. It was a new year but certain things stayed the same.
Ash going back to teasing the older boy, "Well maybe it was passionate, I was thinking about eating a giant turkey leg." He squeezed Eiji's hand happily, "You wanna share one?"
Eiji gave a grateful smile, he could tell Ash was lying. He always knew, but currently was too cheery to point it out now. Pulling Ash's hand, he inched up on his tippy-toes managing to pepper a quick kiss on the American's forehead.
There was a few more heart beats as their fruitful eyes spoke promises that didn't need to be verbalized because their presence beside each other meant everything.
Life was sorta funny like that. Ash had slowly discovered that even when you feel worthless, ugly, and bloody disgusting….there was still someone out there who cares for you.
"Take out my phone, Ash." The Japanese male requested.
"Hmm? I thought we were getting food."
"Yeah but, we still haven't taken a picture together since we've been here."
In life, you cry.
Ash stopped short in his tracks. Repeating, "Picture…" under his breath. There were many reasons that made Ash very uncomfortable about taking pictures. Mostly from all the backlash trauma of his childhood. The flash had haunted him for years.
Eiji automatically read the stress all over Ash's face. It made him recall his statement, "Never mind. We don't have to take one if you don't want." Gently Eiji's thumbed Ash's hand, comforting him under the flashing lights. He pulled him in for a hug. Eiji whispering in Ash's ear, "You don't have to do anything you don't want to Ash."
Ash gave a shaky nod. Enjoying the warmth radiating off the smaller boy as they snuggled, "Mmm." He'd seen plenty of families taking pictures. Many people recording themselves right now watching fireworks.
Eiji finally broke their moment pulling out of the hug. He said, "I don't think ice cream and a turkey leg is a good combo." Swinging their arms back n forth as they continued walking on towards the large golf ball. He mumbled, "I mean if we circle around World Showcase again we can get to France and eat crepes! Those were really good!"
In life, you laugh.
"Well ya don't know till ya try. I mean they have bacon ice cream." Ash's eyes flashed devious, "Unless your old taste buds can't handle it," He held out a few syllables, "My baby."
"You're the youngest... you're the baby!" Eiji huffed, holding tighter to his plushie. Bashfulness sinking in as he suddenly read Ash's slyly affectionate expression—putting 'my' in front to use 'baby' as a pet nickname.
Ash was snickering to himself, deciding that one day he'd be ready to take pictures with Eiji...and on that day he would show Eiji off to the world as his boyfriend. But till then, he could rest assured nothing of the sort would be asked of him.
Eiji savored the moment indulging in seeing Ash being able to freely smile without a care in the world. That was the smiling happy side of Ash that Eiji wanted to protect…. and he would protect it forever.
"Maybe we should ride the spinning teacups...what was it called?" Ash tapped his chin, "Mad Tea Party?" He pointed upwards, "Instead of Test Track. The race car might be too fast for you."
"First of all those were in Magic Kingdom we went there yesterday! This is Epcot!" Eiji pointed out the fallacy. "No tea cups here, but if you want we can go back on that dumb Mission Space Ride. You screamed holding on to the bars so tight, like a cat hanging from a ceiling fan." He tugged the taller boy's hand, motioning him over to their last previous ride.
Ash paled a bit, then bit his lip. "Whatever." He tucked a blond strand of hair behind his ear. "Not my fault those big fancy computer graphics look so real. But the thrill is worth it."
"Just imagine tomorrow at Hollywood Studios, you won't be able to handle Rockin Rollercoaster."
"I'll just have to hold your hand extra tight then!"
"You mean hold onto the bars? It's called a safety precaution for a reason."
"You're my safety net so basically same thing."
More loud booming of fireworks over the lake went off. The earth in the middle opening up to reveal a torch as the new year's number was spelled out above.
"Has it been more thrilling than last year?" Eiji teased raising his nose in the air, he puckered his lips to make a duck face.
"Yes, lots more fun than busting a cap in people." Ash reached forward to squeeze Eiji's cheeks together. Telling the short boy, "But if we're comparing years, this one already has an unfair advantage."
Cutely, black locks bounced over lovely brown eyes. "How so?"
In life, you love.
Ash tugged on Eiji's cheek, "I'm spending the beginning of it with you." The blonde gave a lopsided smile, it was endearing in a smug way.
"Ash!" Eiji swatted at him with his half-eaten and steadily melting ice cream. Laughing cheerfully Ash stole a lick of it, swirling Eiji around as the music played to match the booming light show above.
This was life. Ash was living along with Eiji. They were both here together. Searching for brighter days together.
"I love this!" Eiji announced chuckling loudly. Fireworks popping off like crazy as the grand finale went off behind them. "We..Hehe, I love...you!" He leaned in, nuzzling their noses together.
Ash didn't have the guts to ask if Eiji meant, "I love you as a friend" or, "I love you let's be boyfriends." None of that matter to him. He'd properly ask out Eiji on a REAL date soon. All he could do right now was feel his heart bursting with happiness more than words could describe.
Even if Ash mirrored Eiji words with an, "I love you, more." It would be pointless because Ash loved and appreciated Eiji more than he could ever know.
That's what love was after all. There were no words for true love. Two hearts in one soul that remained with one another till the end of time. Eiji could feel Ash's pain and wanted to heal his sorrows. Ash could always turn to Eiji to learn on. Nevertheless the struggles they faced, they would overcome as a collective effort and live for moments like these.
The moments where they could just laugh and enjoy life.
Disclaimer: I don't own Banana Fish!
Thanks for reading! Happy New Year! I spent it in Disney so I wrote this during long lines and on the bus back to my resort. Gotta start my 2019 off right, loving these two. I'll check for spelling errors later! Have an amazing New Year wishing all y'all joy happiness and prosperity! This is the year good things happen choose life!~Mel