Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or its characters or anything else from the franchise; S. Meyers does. All I own is my imagination. (Loosely based on a true story) Bee Series: story 1.

Loves Bites: A Tale of the Bee

"I swear that's what happened for real."-Rachel chuckled as everyone laughed.

They were at a dinner party and had finished about an hour ago when everyone started talking about how they'd met their spouses. Rachel and Paul had just finished their story and of course it was violent.

"Ouch that had to hurt."- Seth laughed.

"What, the punch to the face or the tumble down the cliff?"- Leah asked sarcastically. They laughed louder. Paul looked embarrassed for a change; he'd always dreaded how they met. He groaned.

"Aww it's ok baby I still love you."-Rachel said before pecking him on the cheek.

"That was a sign for you to run!"-Jacob said.

"Yeah, not marry him and have three of his big-headed babies"-Leah chuckled. Jacob, Paul and Rachel looked insulted.

"Hey Clearwater, my kids do not have big heads!"- Paul snapped pointing at her.

"Yeah! Our children are beautiful."-Rachel agreed.

"Yup, they look just like me."-Paul smiled.

"Yeah big heads and all."-Leah scoffed.

"Leah."-Jacob admonished. She looked at him innocently and shrugged with her hands up.

"You know your nieces and nephew have big heads Jacob. Denial won't change that."-she said matter-of-factly.

"Well, maybe they're a little big. Especially the boy's."-Jacob mumbled under his hand while looking at her.

"See…"-Leah nodded.

"You two are going to stop taking about my kids!"-Paul exclaimed.

"Oh you heard me?"-Jacob said shocked but smiled before looking at Leah and the two started cackling.

"They'll grow into them."-Rachel defended but that just made them laugh harder.

"You two are so immature."-Sam laughed.

"Hey while you're laughing why don't you tell us how you two met. You've criticized everybody else's stories so tell us yours."-Jared quipped. Leah and Jacob had pretended to fall asleep when Jared and Kim gave the boring details of their first meeting. Granted, everyone else thought it was boring but they had the good sense and maturity to not show it.

"Yeah tell us!"-they all started to say. Leah started getting quiet and Jacob tried to keep from laughing.

"Ooh something crazy happened, didn't it? Something crazy had to have happened for Leah to be quiet and Jacob you're laughing. Spill the tea!"-Embry chimed in. His story is what you'd expect. There was a joint reservation celebration of their liberation from the pale faces. Embry was walking with Quil when he spotted a woman and ran across the street and harassed his now wife Rebecca, got pepper sprayed, but still somehow managed to get her number.

"Well it's not nearly as interesting as getting beat up and thrown down a cliff or pepper sprayed."-Leah said rolling her eyes.

"I didn't beat her up she got in the way of the fight. It was an accident! I didn't mean to hit her I didn't even see her standing there. And we tripped down the cliff when I turned to see if she was alright!"-Paul shouted.

"It's ok it's ok."-Rachel cooed. On cue, Leah and Jacob laughed but Quil and Embry snickered too.

"Well, Edward and I's was magical."-Bella chimed in. Some people jumped while others looked confused.

"Whoa I forgot they were even here."-Quil whispered.

"Who invited them again?"-Embry whispered back. Both looked up and smiled at the two pale faces who'd been sitting right across from them for the past hour.

"So how'd you two meet then?"-Kim asked. Bella repositioned and started fidgeting and tugging at her hair and biting her nails. A few people rolled their eyes while Leah just sighed and rolled hers. Nobody asked her to tell her story so why bother speaking up if you're so uncomfortable?

"I was new in Forks so everyone wanted to know who I was and introduced themselves or asked questions. But Edward. Edward would just sit in class looking at me. We had the same exact roster so from first period to lunch to last period he would just stare at me all day. He'd even watch me in the parking lot while talking to his friends. One day at lunch he finally walked over to me and just stood there looking at me but didn't say anything. He followed me to my table and sat down next to me and said hi. It was magica-"

"Creepy!"-Leah and Paul cut her off.

"What? No it was sweet."-Bella pouted then smiled at Edward "I knew then we'd be together forever."-she sighed. Edward kissed her head but other than that hadn't moved or anything. He was weird to say the absolute least and this story didn't make him sound any better.

"You knew you'd be together forever but you've turned down his proposal seven times."-Emily said confused.

"Well I'm not ready. It's only been ten years what's the rush?"-Bella said fidgeting even more. That time Edward did react. He looked at her with a face that screamed 'seriously?'.

"So let me get this straight. He followed you from class to class and even the parking lot just looking at you. He popped up at lunch one day standing behind you and followed you to your table and you thought that was…sweet?"-Jacob said in disbelief.

"The girl's a freak I told you that."-Leah said into her hand.

"Clearly. And so is he. Good Lord."-he whispered to her, both looking disgustedly at the two.

"Well, Mr. and Mrs. Perfect how did you meet then!"-Bella exclaimed. She was so embarrassed but Edward seemed satisfied. Maybe now she'll see how ridiculous she's been and marry him.

"We actually kind of met because of Sam."-Jacob started and everyone looked at Sam shocked.

"Me?"-he said pointing to himself.

"Yup you."-Jacob said and there was a bit of bitterness there. Leah pat him on the leg.

"Oh I have got to hear this!"-Paul smiled as he got comfortable.

"Well, Sam had been pursuing me for a while and I'd finally agreed to go out with him."-Leah started and Emily gasped.

"You two dated? You never told me that?"-she said before running out of the room crying.

"Emily! Emily, come back! It was one date!"-he shouted after her.

"Dramatic much."-Rachel said.

"Anyway, Sam decided to take me on a picnic late in the evening. He made all the food and everything-"

"And by made she means bought and passed off as his own."-Jacob chimed in, rolling his eyes.

"Anyway, the date was actually going pretty good until…

"Ow!"-I hissed.

"What's wrong?"-Sam asked.

"I think a bee just bit me."-I said as I rubbed my butt. There laid a dying bee.

"Oh no, where?"-he asked leaning over to look. I swatted at him.

"Nowhere it's fine. It's just a bee sting how bad can it be?"-I shrugged. Those were almost my famous last words.

I leaned against Sam's chest as we sat on the blanket and talked, but then my throat felt funny. I started clearing it and coughing but nothing helped.

"Are you alright Leah?'-Sam asked, pulling away to sit in front of me.

"I'm fine. It must be something stuck in my throat."-I said. The date was going great and I didn't want to ruin it but I was lying through my teeth. I felt funny and…swollen.

"OH MY GOD!"-Sam suddenly yelled when he looked at my face. He sat there in horror. I didn't know if I should hit him or panic. I did the latter.

"What? Well what is it don't just sit there staring at me what happened?'-I shouted

"Your…your…face! It's…ew."-he gasped.

"Excuse me what do you mean ew? You should be so lucky to be on a date with me"-I said, standing up but stopped. My throat was almost all the way closed and I toppled over and grabbed at it.

"What the…"-I wheezed when I grabbed my neck. My throat was two or three times the size it was.

"Don't worry Leah I'm calling an ambulance!"-Sam shouted as he dialed 911.

I focused on not dying as my throat continued to close. When I touched my face, I could feel it had blown up just a big as my throat. As a matter of fact, all of me had blown up. Especially my ass which wasn't necessarily a bad thing. That could stay.

"Sam was screaming into the phone while I wheezed for my life. I kept grabbing at everything. I couldn't believe how huge I was."-Leah said to a shocked and somewhat tickled room.

"Oh it was bad and it gets worse and gross."-Jacob chimed in smiling.

"Would you shut up!"-Leah shouted. Jacob was too amused for her liking.

"What happened next and where does Jacob come in?"-Rebecca asked.

"Well…"

"The ambulance is on its way. Did you hear me?"-Sam shouted like a moron.

"I'm suffocating I'm not going deaf you idiot!"-I wheezed. A huge crowd spread around us. Some children had to be carried away screaming when they saw me.

"Well, fuck you too."-I wheezed at the little brats.

"Make room, make room!"-the EMTS shouted as they ran over.

They quickly loaded me into an ambulance and asked Sam what'd happened. After he explained they shot me with something that almost immediately opened my throat to where I could breathe. I started coughing and hacking as I gasped for air.

"You'll be alright."-one of them said as they loaded me out of the ambulance and onto a waiting gurney at the hospital.

They rushed my bloated ass to a room and started poking and prodding me.

"And that's when it happened."-Leah said looking at Jacob. His leg was bouncing as he was full of excitement at them hearing the story. They were all silent as if they were listening to a bed time story or a spooky story at a campfire.

"You're going to be just fine. We have to give you some antibiotics and some shots, but you'll be back to normal in a few days."-the doctor, Carlisle said.

"Great."-I said both honestly and sarcastically. I'd have to walk around like this for days!

"This is a great time for the interns to come in. Do you mind? Great."-Stupid Dr. Carlisle said excitedly. He didn't even give me a chance to object. He sped out of the room and that's when Sam came in.

"So uh...how are you feeling? Can you breathe?"-he asked.

"Yeah I can breathe. The doctor said I'll be fine in a few days."-I said suddenly very, very embarrassed. I paused when I noticed Sam's stupid behavior. "I'm not contagious Sam you can come closer. It was just a bee sting."-I said quietly. The fool was standing by the window sucking in air as if he'd die if he took one breath of the air in the room.

"No I'm fine."-he said. He just kept looking at my face grimacing.

"It was your idea to have a picnic in the park in the first place."-I reminded him.

"Yeah sorry about that. I guess I should've thought that through and asked if you were allergic to anything."-he said guilty. Good!

"Well, I hope next time you think of something better."-I smiled…sort of; I was still a blow fish after all. Sam looked disgusted before he caught himself. I wanted to punch him and cry.

"Yeah about that. I don't think it's a good idea for a second date. I mean this one was…fun, but maybe we should just cool it?"-he said as he slowly moved towards the door. He really thought I wouldn't notice him leaving if he moved slowly?

"Sam…"-was all I could say.

"Bye Leah. I hope you get well soon. And who knows maybe things will change."-he said and left.

Everyone was astonished at that.

"You mean he just left you there?"-Claire shouted.

"And you thought I was bad?"-Paul said, shaking his head.

"How could he just break up with you while you're sick and in need?'-Bella said.

"Somehow I get the feeling you'd do the same thing if you were in a similar situation."-Jacob said.

"No, never."-Bella nodded.

"Well…"-Rebecca said waving her hand for Leah to finish. She had to know what happened next.

"I started crying. Believe it or not I was way more sensitive and shy back then because if that had happened now, I would chase him down and rub my swollen ass all over him."-Leah said, pausing to shake her head. "I was in the room alone for a while and just cried my fat eyes out…"

"Right in here interns. Gather around."-Dr. Carlisle said. I wiped my face as best I could, considering my fingers were like sausages and my face like a puffer fish.

"See here where her neck expands."-he said and they all leaned over and crowded around me. I groaned wanting to die. I tried to drown them out while he talked and they gawked. There were about ten interns packed into my room all taking notes and looking me over like a science project.

"Go ahead touch it."-Carlisle said. Before I could object or know where he wanted them to touch me, hands were everywhere. He started talking doctor gibberish and they ooed and aahed as they took notes.

"So who would like to inject her face?"-Carlisle asked.

"What?'-I wheeze shouted. My throat was still half closed. Six interns raised their hands and he hummed as he decided which one to pick. And that's when my eyes landed on him. The future Mr. Leah Clearwater…

"Wait What? Mr. Clearwater?"-Jacob interrupted.

"Yeah what's the problem?"-Leah asked confused.

"I'm not Mr. Leah Clearwater. You're Mrs. Jacob Black."-he said defensively.

"You say tomato…"-Leah said dismissively, fanning her hand in the air. "Anyway…"

He was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. He had on a white lab coat with blue scrubs, that made him look Godlike with that color against his skin, and was taking notes furiously. Everything Carlisle said or anything he observed he wrote down. I sighed a little sigh of relief under all of my dread that he hadn't raised his hand. But of course…

"Jacob. You haven't done anything so far during this round. Why don't you give it a go."-Carlisle said. So, Jacob was his name eh. He was so engrossed in his notes that he hadn't even heard Carlisle.

"If he doesn't want to do it maybe someon-"

"Jacob come inject her."-Carlisle waved over, as if he hadn't heard me talking. I'm really starting to hate this man. Jacob looked up from his notes and pointed at himself.

"Yes, you come."-Carlisle smiled.

Jacob walked over to the sink and washed his hands, his very large, sexy, no ring on his left ring finger hands. When he came back over he looked down at me like he was Frankenstein and I was his monster. Did you have to be heartless to be a doctor or something?

"Now gently slide the needle into the left side of-wait a minute. Where were you bitten Ms. Cleawater?"-Carlisle asked me.

"Um, uh…onmybutt."-I mumbled.

"I'm sorry I didn't catch that. Where?"-he asked again and they all leaned forward.

"On my butt. Left cheek."-I said sinking into the sheets.

"Oh excellent! The bottom is very meaty that's even better. Jacob help me turn her over."-he said.

"What!"-I shouted, sitting straight up.

"Ma'am we have to inject you where you were stung."-Carlisle said as he grabbed my arm to turn me over.

"No you will not. Get out!"-I said as I pushed his hands.

"We're all professionals here no need to be embarrassed."-he cooed.

"No!"-I squeaked and looked at Jacob. Shoot…me…now!

"It's alright ma'am. The sooner you turn over the faster we'll be done."-he reassured me. Next thing I know I'm ass up, ass out.

"Wow."-somebody murmured.

"Sir is this from the sting or is it…"-the voice came from where Jacob was standing. I buried my face so deep into the pillow I thought I'd suffocate for real this time.

"It is very…meaty, so probably both. Inject her on the left buttock right on the lump there. We need to get flesh so it gets directly into her system."-Carlisle said as he, Jacob and the room hovered over my ass.

So, my ass got lumpy from the swelling...great! Keep the fat take the lumps.

"Ouch!"-I squealed. That hurt bad and something wet was dripping on my butt.

"Ew."

"Oh my God"-

"I'm going to be sick!" was all I heard.

"Uh oh."-Carlisle said.

"What do you mean uh oh?"-I panicked trying to turn over but he pushed me back down.

"Nothing that hasn't happened before ma'am. It's just a large quantity of pus and fluid squirted out when he inserted the needle. Everything is fine."-he said in that annoying voice.

"Jacob you can go and clean up and everyone else can go back to their work. I'll finish my rounds alone. Great job everyone."-Carlisle said.

That's right Jacob had gotten covered with my pus and two of the interns threw up while one fainted.

"Get me out of here please."-I begged into my pillow.

"There's nothing to be worried about Ms. Clearwater. I'll give you your injections and monitor you for the night to make sure they take and then you'll be on your way in the morning. You'll be good as new in no time."-Carlisle reassured me. Now I was grateful for him being my doctor because he was patient and nice considering everything that's just happened.

"Thank you."-I mumbled before crying my fat eyes out.

"And that's the first time we met"-Leah finished. Jacob put his arm around her and kissed her on the head because he knows how embarrassed she is of their meeting. That's why they've never told anyone their story. He however was highly amused and thought it was hilarious.

"Oh my God."-Rachel said after a while. Everyone's reaction was a mixture of amusement, the guys, disgust, the gals, and not knowing what to think, Edward and Bella.

"So…I….well…I have no words."-Bella said.

"It's kind of…sweet?"-Rebecca asked more than said. She was trying to make Leah come from out of her hair cocoon.

"It kind of is when you think about it. Leah was bloated lumpy and oozing and Jacob still went out with her."-Kim said.

"Well gee thanks."-Leah said. Jacob laughed so she elbowed him.

"After being a doctor for a few years trust me Leah your pus butt is child's play."-he said trying to make her feel better. She shook her head, covered her face with her hands and groaned.

"So how did you two actually get together? Because there is no way in hell I would've went out with Rachel if that had happened to us."-Paul grimaced.

"Leah remembered my name and hunted me down before finding me on Facebook and thanked and apologized to me in a message. Like she said if you can believe it Leah was shy back then, so the only way she could bring herself to say anything was behind a keyboard. I thanked her but didn't even know who she was. I'd had a lot of patients as you can imagine. When she said I'm the bee sting girl that's when I remembered. There was no forgetting that. Both of us were a little shy so I kept in contact with her via Facebook. She seemed really cool but embarrassed about everything, but the fact she still contacted me intrigued me and kept my interest. Back then I was so engrossed with learning, listening and taking notes that I never really saw the patients I dealt with. Like, I saw her, how could I not, but she was a living test subject to me at the time. Eventually I looked through her pictures and…yeah bee sting Leah looked nothing like real Leah. We talked online for months before I got up the courage to ask her out."-Jacob smiled at the memory.

"Yeah and no bees were involved with this date."-Leah chuckled lightly at him, peering from under her fingers.

"I made sure to ask her if she had any other allergens before planning the date. To play it safe I took her to a carnival and a walk down the bank. And the rest is history."-Jacob said before kissing her on the forehead. He always thought their meeting was unique and entertaining but he understood why Leah hated it. Still it was a fond memory for him.

"You're a better man than me."-Quil shivered.

"Any man is a better man than you Quil."-Leah hissed.

"I better not ever hear you make fun of how Rach and I met pus butt."-Paul laughed

"Oh pus butt that's a good one!"-Embry laughed.

"Call me that and I'll kill you!"-Leah threatened.

"Alright knock it off guys."-Seth said. He and his parents were the only ones who knew the story of how Leah and Jacob met since she was still living at home at the time. They were threatened bodily harm if they ever uttered a word to anyone.

"So that explains why you hate Sam so much."-Jared said to Leah. Everyone knew Leah hated Sam they just didn't know why. But, boy does she have a good reason. She simply toleraed him because he was married to Emily.

"I just can't believe he just left you there!"-Claire said and looked at Quil with threatening eyes as if to say you do that to me and you're dead.

"What happened between you and Sam?'-Bella asked

"Nothing. This little bitch left her there and avoided her like the plague for months. It wasn't until he saw her with me that he decided she wasn't contagious anymore and asked her out again. He was constantly asking her out or trying to be around her or giving me the evil eye."-Jacob said annoyed.

"So that explains why you and Sam have this never ending…pissing contest."-Paul laughed.

"Oh."-they all said, nodding at the revelation. This was a very informative dinner.

"Well I pissed on Leah so she's mines."-Jacob said, crossing his arms.

"What?"-Leah exclaimed, pushing him off the chair.

"Leah I didn't know you were so kinky."-Embry winked.

"Shut up Embry!"-Leah and Rebecca shouted.

"I mean like figuratively. You know like how wolves pee to mark their territory. I marked you."-Jacob tried explaining. What the hell was he talking about?

"Do we look like wolves?'-Leah asked with her arms crossed.

"Jacob just apologize."-Edward laughed, shaking his head.

"You can talk?"-Jacob said looking at Edward. Just then Sam came back in with Emily.

"Sorry everyone. It was just a lot to take in. I felt betrayed as if Sam had cheated on me with my own cousin. But, I forgive you both for not telling me about your relationship."-Emily said and sat down.

The room got quiet and everyone stared at the two idiots, even Bella who was Emily's invited friend.

"You forgive me?'-Leah asked confused.

"Yes. It's all behind us now."-Emily sniffled and Sam pitifully pat her arm.

"If anyone is owed an apology it's Leah from Sam!"-Jacob exclaimed.

"Huh?"-Emily and Sam said.

"You owe Leah an apology Sam."-Jacob said standing up.

"Uh oh here we go."-Paul smiled.

"It just all makes sense now."-Jared chuckled to himself. He could never understand why they hated each other so much and were always fighting and he felt relieved now that he did. It was driving him crazy not knowing.

"Jacob just let it go it was years ago."-Leah said standing up. She looped her arm through his to hold him back.

"Oh Leah told you guys-"

"Yup!"-everyone said in unison. Sam looked sheepish and hung his head before looking at her.

"I'm sorry Leah. I owed you an apology a long time ago."-Sam said sincerely but Jacob scoffed.

"Then why didn't you?"-he said balling his fists.

"Because you were glued to her hip and you would never let me near her to do it!"-Sam shouted.

"You damn right!"-Jacob bragged, puffing out his chest. Embry Seth and Quil snickered.

"You think I wouldn't change things if I could? I'd do anything to get Leah back!"-Sam shouted.

"Uh oh."-Seth quipped.

"What?"-Jacob and Emily shouted.

"Em, no I didn't mean it like that. Emily!"-he shouted after her as she ran out of the room crying.

"This is all your fault Jacob!"-Sam pointed at him before going after Emily.

"Wait a minute this isn't over. What do you mean you'd do anything to get her back? Get back here Sam!"-Jacob shouted and went after him.

"Jacob! Get back here. Just let it go. You peed on me remember!"-Leah shouted before going after him.

"My money's on Jacob."-Quil said, pulling out a twenty.

"My money's on Sam. He has all that regret pooling inside of him ready to burst."-Embry countered.

"Put me down for Jacob." Edward said. Everyone stopped and looked at him but put him down for Jacob anyway.

"I got Sam."-Jared said.

"You're such a kiss ass. I say a draw. They never actually fought over Leah directly. So there's a lot of anger there on both sides. Jacob is fighting for his woman; Sam is fighting for the woman he left in the hospital with a pus butt."-Paul said sure of himself.

"I bet fifty on Leah."-Seth chimed in. They stopped and looked at him thoughtfully.

"I change my bet."

"Me too."

"Give me Leah in two swings!"-some started calling.

"What round is this?"-Kim asked.

"I stopped counting four years ago."-Rachel said.

"Shouldn't the guys go and break it up?"-Bella asked worriedly.

"Oh they will. They just have to place their bets first."-Claire said casually.

"It never fails."-Rebecca laughed.

AN: Hope you like! That's right I'm baaaaacck! It's been so long ugh. I missed you guys! I have a LOT of time on my hands for the next couple of months so I have all the time in the world to restart and finish old stories and come up with new ones. For real this time. I desperately want to restart Special Arrangement but I've told some of you the problem I'm having due documents. But, I'll get it eventually. I'm just as eager to finish as you are to read but I want the same quality and consistency so we must wait. The break did me good though b/c some of the stories on here became(understandably) juvenile for my age or repetitive and I didn't want to become a victim with my own writing. I already have another story I'm going to write probably on Tuesday and then I have another one after that! I wanted to make sure I had something before coming back. Hopefully this helps get my juices running.

The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few….so I need you to read then I need you to review…or I'll send you a snow storm! I'm currently in the Northeast so I'll be getting hit with this supposed Nor'easter they claim is coming. IF it does I hope it sparks my imagination with more stories. Snow always does that for some reason. If you end up snowed in like me I'll be sending out some e warmth for ya!