Drain Me
by Apple Blossom
Disclaimer: Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D belongs to Joss Whedon, Jed Whedon, Stan Lee, ABC, Marvel Television, Mutant Enemy, and anyone else who wants to lay claim to it.
This story contains spoilers through Failed Experiments and dialogue from that episode.
The Kree's blood slowly drains into the machine as Holden Radcliffe tries to convince me that I'm not needed in the makeshift laboratory. If I had to guess, I think he's afraid of me and I know he's terrified of Hive. "I'm happy to take it from here if you've got somewhere else to be, then feel free to..."
"She's coming with me." The voice startles me but I recognize it instantly as Mack appears in the doorway.
"I told Fitz to stay away," I tell him, my heart beating a little faster now that he's here in front of me. While I've been telling Hive that I want to convert my friends, turn them Inhuman, there's a part of me that still wants to protect them.
"No can do," he says, shaking his head. "Not when my partner needs help."
"I don't need your help," I reply, hoping he will listen and leave before things turn ugly. Once the Kree's blood is drained, all we need is someone to be the first to test Radcliffe's new serum on, and I don't want Mack to be that person.
"There's plenty of evidence here to the contrary."
"You don't understand. I'm doing this to help you," I tell him, but I really just want him to leave.
"And how is murdering a blue alien going to help me?" Mack asks.
"It's the only way to save you. We're going to make you into an Inhuman." I see a moment of fear cross his features before he shuts that down.
"This isn't you," Mack says, shaking his head sadly.
"I know this is hard to hear, but this is me." I'm desperate to convince him. Not just for him, but for me as well. It will be easier if I just submit to Hive's will completely and mostly, I do believe what I'm saying. "I'm not lost anymore. Everyone at SHIELD can stop trying to save me."
"This is different."
"Is it? I mean first SHIELD rescues me from the Rising Tide and then from the admittedly not so great parents. Now, once again SHIELD has rallied the troops to save poor Daisy."
"Because you're sick. That... thing... is a parasite. It's messing with your head."
"That's what SHIELD has been doing. Look at us, Mack! You were a mechanic. I was a hacker. And now somehow, we're soldiers?"
"The world's changing," he answers. "We had to adapt."
"We had no choice! SHIELD made us into what it needed!"
"No," Mack replies, the voice of reason as always. "No one at SHIELD made you do anything."
"But Coulson knew I was lost. So he offered up his team of misfit toys just to feel that emptiness." And it worked for awhile. I'd never had a family before. Never felt completely safe anywhere I lived until I'd met Coulson. But Hive. He fills something inside of me that makes that ache go away. And while there is this tiny voice fighting back from time to time, saying that he should allow me to have my free will back, that I should be allowed to make this choice without his - or Coulson's - influence, I feel this connection to him that keeps me loyal.
"That team cares about you. I care about you." Mack is still trying hard to get me to listen and I get it. He wants to convince me that SHIELD is my family, but they can't feel this emptiness inside me. As much as I thought they had over these past months, I know now I was wrong.
"So what does that make us? Friends?" That part of me that wants to protect him from what we're doing here lashes out at him but he's not falling for it.
"Friends," he adds and I see in his eyes that he means it. "Partners."
"Bobbi was your partner once," I snap back at him. "How did that work out for you?"
"You know damn well Bobbi and Hunter left SHIELD to protect us."
"They left because there was no reason to stay. Because nobody else at SHIELD mattered to them. It wasn't hard to leave." I'm fighting to keep control. Just for a moment. Long enough to get Mack away from this experiment. Away from Hive and away from me before I do something I will always regret. "But I think you should leave here. Right now."
He shakes his head and I want to scream at him as he unhooks his weapon, setting it on the floor before me. He doesn't understand how dangerous I am to him right now. How at any moment I could knock him out and make him the next victim in Hive's experiment. "A part of you wants to come back. That's how we found you."
"What are you talking about?"
"A few hours ago we received security footage of you outside this garage," he tells me. "It sent a red flag up our system. The same system you helped create."
"So you think I meant for this to happen?" I think about it for a moment and realize that he's right and pray none of the other Inhumans - or worse, Hive - heard that.
"It wasn't an accident. Something inside you is resisting."
I shake my head, denying it completely as I tell him, "I slipped up because I wasn't thinking like a spy anymore. Because I don't need to be a SHIELD agent anymore."
"Tremors," he says and my heart aches with wanting to tell him he's right, but I can't. I don't have enough control over my words, my actions, so all I can do is try to get him to leave before Hive comes back. I'm desperate now to get him out of there and time is running out.
"No... no, Mack, I cared about you too. After what happened with my parents I needed someone and you... you were almost like a big brother to me. But let's be honest. You struggled to be a real brother to the one that you have." Low blows. I'm hitting them left and right, but I need him to be gone.
"Leave Ruben out of this," he says, his eyes reflecting the hurt I'm causing.
"I understand how you're feeling... but you don't need to feel alone anymore." The Hive controlled portion of my brain is fighting back now, trying to gain the upper hand and suddenly I'm revealing what I have planned. "We can fix it."
"What you're feeling... it's not real."
"What we feel," I tell him, trying to make him understand. "Is reality. It's the way the world was meant to be."
"Not my world," Mack answers, shaking his head.
"I really wanted to save you, Mack," I tell him and I'm not sure if I mean from Hive and me, or from humanity. My thoughts are so messed up, sometimes going right along with Hive's agenda, wanting to turn the world Inhuman, but then there are these moments, so few and far between, that I feel like what we're doing is wrong. I wish he had never come here.
He nods his head as if he understands and replies, "Yeah, me too."
Mack turns as if to go and there is a part of me that is relieved. Once he's gone I can get back on task, doing what Hive wants me to do without the distraction of SHIELD and my friends. But at the last minute he throws something and as I turn toward the dying Kree, whose blood is slowly draining into Radcliffe's machines I recognize the splinter bomb right away and watch as the reaper disappears from sight. Rage floods me instantly. What has he done? Doesn't he realize that Hive won't stand for this? I stare at him in disbelief until he says, "If I can't save you, I guess I'll save everyone else."
My hand goes up immediately, using my powers to throw him backwards out into the street. I follow him out screaming, "You should have stayed away."
He's trying to get to his feet, I hear him say, "wait," but it is too late now. He's ruined everything and if I don't kill him Hive will. And then probably me as well for letting Mack get to me. I'm too weak. I have to do what Hive wants.
"Daisy," Mack whispers, still my friend. My partner. "I'm not going to fight you."
But I can't stop now as I punch him hard in the chest, over and over before sidekicking him to the ground. He tries to grab for me but I use my powers against him, directing them at his chest. He reaches for me again, but he can't stop me now. No one can, as I stand over him, punching him again and again, feeling nothing now but anger. He's bleeding. Barely conscious and somewhere deep inside of me I know this isn't right but I can't stop. I'm going to kill him. This much I'm sure of as I lean down toward him and whisper, "We could have had a connection that was real."
"Daisy," he says and he still cares even after everything I'm doing to him. "Look at yourself. You don't have to do this."
His words speak deep within me as the tears flow and I want his help. I really do. I want to be Tremors again. To be his partner. To be forgiven. But just as I'm about to say this, the other part of me, the one that has all of the control, attacks him, going straight for his heart. He cries out in pain and I do as well until the piercing burn of a bullet hits my arm, knocking me away from Mack before I kill him. May and the rest of the SHIELD team hurry toward us, grabbing Mack and pulling him away as I hear them yell, "We've got to get out of here! He's coming! He's coming!"
I know they mean Hive, but he just walks toward me, ignoring them as he bends down and holds me, letting them escape. At first I think he cares about me as he gently helps me to my feet and into the makeshift lab, but as Radcliffe removes the bullet and stitches me up, I can tell Hive is doing a slow burn. The pain in my arm is nothing compared to the pain in my heart at what I've done to my friend. Ex-friend, now. There's no way Mack will ever forgive me now, but I hope he's okay. I hope I didn't do too much damage. Hive paces the lab, a blue heart in his hand as he says, "I ripped out its heart. As discussed. But you failed us."
"I tried to stop him," I say, wincing in pain as Radcliffe bandages my arm. The throbbing isn't nearly as bad as when Quinn shot me. Twice.
"Then your efforts were lacking. Not only did your friend destroy everything we were working towards, he also got away." He walks toward me with the little bit of Kree blood that Radcliffe was able to save. His voice is filled with disgust as he adds, "I put too much trust in you. Your ties to SHIELD are even stronger than you admit."
He slams the bottle down in front of me, his voice low and menacing as he says, "It leaves me with questions."
I don't want to do this anymore. I'm tired of fighting. Of listening to the words coming out of my mouth that are me, yet aren't. Of hurting my friends. The sting in my arm is so bad, blood still seeping from the wound and I think of how different things would be if Coulson hadn't tried to save me. If he had just let me die the first time I got shot. And then it comes to me. Just like that. I know how to give Hive exactly what he wants and free myself in the process. I push Radcliffe away and grab the bandage, standing and approaching Hive, telling him, "No. You were right to trust me. I'm finished with SHIELD and actually I have answers. The DNA you need... I have it."
He turns on me, anger lacing his words. "Inhuman DNA is not enough. We need to drain actual Kree blood."
"Which is exactly what I have pumping through my veins. Coulson used it to bring me back after Quinn shot me. Ward should remember."
Hive seems to consider it for a moment before he answers, "He does."
"So if you want this experiment to work," I tell him, hoping he takes me up on my offer, and finally ends my suffering, "drain me."
The end