Lines: Merging, a stargate: atlantis fanfic

Title: Lines: Merging

Author: Marianne H. Stillie

Categories: Romance Melodrama, Episode Tag for Common Ground

Rating: T

Pairing: Ronon & Elizabeth

Series: The Lines Series – Story #11

Season: Season 3

Sequel To: Lines: Reconciling, Blending, Hoping, Grieving

Summary: The merging duality of Elizabeth and Ronon's identities in Atlantis seeks a new level after the events of Common Ground.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and places for Stargate Atlantis are the property of MGM Worldwide Television Distribution, Sony Pictures Television and Acme Shark Cooper/Wright Productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment, not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks are intended. Previously unrecognized characters, places and this story are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.

Archive: Please do not archive anywhere without the author's permission.

Author's Note: Just a reminder that this series is now an AU, with more subtle changes taking it away from canon.

Lines: Merging

A fresh ripple of chills ran through Elizabeth Weir as the images she'd just lived through flashed across her mind for the thousandth time. She forcefully broke her hypnotic stare at the Stargate. Only after she'd seen her military commander come through the gate whole and young again, did the lingering dread of the day's events cease. Yet the emotional turmoil caused by John Sheppard's near death at the hands of two ever-threatening enemies kept her mind restless and questioning.

She'd gone through all the memories of the last two and a half years while the rescue team was making their move on Kolya's base. Coming so close to losing John had solidified the changes she'd been considering for a more diverse military support contingent. It was something she would discuss with her military commander when Carson had cleared him for duty. She reminded herself that before she spoke to John, she needed to talk to Ronon. He would be the most effected by the recommendations she was going to make.

The hard steel determination she had shown to everyone during the crisis shifted now that they'd all come home safely. Her carefully hidden emotional side was exhausted from the rigid control Ronon called her 'expedition leader mask'. Leaning her elbows on her desk, she rubbed her aching eyes, hoping the last of her day-long headache would finally go away. Now that she was alone in her office she could exchange that mask for one that was easier to carry.

A deep need for comforting seeped through her, overriding her public persona. She gratefully let her personal feelings wash away her exhaustion. As always, the personal centered on the man she had chosen as her mate.

The past several weeks had been difficult for her and Ronon. The tragic loss of their child to the Asuran nanites was still close to the surface each day. Only the initial rawness of their grief had eased. The promises they'd made to each other over the past thirteen months had sustained their commitment, deepening their love.

At her six week checkup, Carson had given her some very perceptive advice. He'd talked about his mother and the grief she'd experienced when Carson's father had died from a fast-spreading form of cancer when he was a teenager. Despite her grief, she had held tightly to the love and joy her seven children represented as a continuation of her husband's life. Carson understood Ronon's deep need to keep her safe after everything he'd lost on Sateda, but they both needed to create a child who would be a part of each of them. Life was far too fragile and tenuous in the Pegasus Galaxy to fear taking risks, especially one that would bring so much happiness to their life together.

That night they'd made love for the first time since her miscarriage. Ronon's excessively gentle lovemaking told her he was afraid of hurting her. Knowing him as well as she did, she knew there were much deeper fears in her mate's mind, so she didn't bring up the subject of another baby.

As the days slipped by one after another, she had continued her silence. His pain-filled words that night in the infirmary had been so intense she had to respect his choice. She had so much of him in their private times and told herself that was enough. The times he didn't belong to her were aspects of the man he was, the one she had come to love – the soldier, the team member, the friend, the ex-runner, the Satedan.

There was no possible way they could separate the personal from the professional in their lives. The differences were so closely integrated on a daily basis. They had gradually come to accept the duality in each other. Her pacifism was in blatant opposition to his very real temper and impulsive shoot-first reactions. Despite his fiery personality, Ronon accepted and abided by the necessary lines that existed between them. His love for her and his dedication as a warrior and professional soldier were separate but equally important. Only after he'd come home from the certain death she thought she had sent him to when the Wraith alliance turned out to be false had she learned to truly balance those lines, of what they each had to do to survive and do their jobs in the Pegasus Galaxy. Except for one still very volatile topic, they didn't even argue like normal people. The lessons they'd learned from each other, about loss and hope and what was important, continued to increase with each new challenge they faced.

Her crisis of faith so soon after their relationship had begun was something she now hated the Wraith for. Strangely, Ronon had been calmly pragmatic in the face of her hotly expressed desire for revenge soon after he'd come home. His strong belief that their kind would get what they deserved in the end was a surprising turn in his emotions. Not being religious, he wouldn't use her word to describe his trust and belief, in her and in his chosen path.

The wariness and ingrained anger that helped him keep his edge had manifested quite openly today. That she loved a soldier who was sometimes the antithesis of everything she believed in still amazed her. As had happened before, there were choices she had made that day that clashed openly with him. She was sure there would be more in the future.

The overwhelming angst of her mental ramblings suddenly hit Elizabeth and she burst out laughing. The crestfallen look she'd seen on the face of a recent arrival to the city in the mess hall two days ago reminded her that this faraway galaxy didn't always bring fear and pain. Whenever a new batch of women arrived on the Daedalus as military or scientific replacements for personnel who had rotated home, they were quickly filled in: the Satedan and the Colonel were off limits. Occasionally, one aggressive type would brazenly flirt with Ronon or John, only to be treated to boyish smiles and quick laughter from Sheppard or cold but civil politeness from Ronon. When she'd witnessed this most recent incident, she'd easily kept her professional demeanor as she watched Ronon abruptly walk away from the young woman and join her for dinner. The unexpectedly wild abandon of their lovemaking that night had spilled over to the next morning at breakfast, with a rare public display of affectionate behavior that had surprised everyone in the mess hall. She'd almost felt sorry for the very embarrassed young woman.

That Ronon was equally trusting of her became quite apparent soon after he had been rescued from the Wraith on Sateda. One of the new male scientists had been paying way too much attention to her. The inappropriate interest suddenly stopped and she'd thought her mate had said something to the young man. With an impassive expression but smiling eyes, Ronon explained that McKay had threatened to send the 'young pup' back to Earth with persona non grata permanently engraved on his record. That her mate wasn't jealous like normal men had surprised her and she'd said so. He'd laughed and told her simply that the man was from Earth. Elizabeth hadn't needed further explanation.

Hearing his mate's fresh peel of laughter from the doorway, Ronon asked, "What's so funny?"

Her laughter trailing off, Elizabeth smiled. "I'll tell you later. Has John been released from the infirmary?"

Ronon sat on the edge of her desk. "Just now, with a clean bill of health from Beckett. The Doc wants him to see Heightmeyer tomorrow before he'll clear him for full duty."

"I'll bet that went over like a lead balloon."

Cocking his head to the side at this latest peculiar Earth idiom he wasn't in any hurry to have explained, Ronon continued, "Teyla's escorting him back to his quarters."

Elizabeth let a light giggle escape. "I feel sorry for Teyla now that John has been rejuvenated."

"I feel sorry for Sheppard," Ronon grinned.

Recalling her ravenous hunger for him each time he came home safely from one of his misadventures, Elizabeth said, "You're right." She leaned forward in her chair and added, "Thank you for bringing John home."

"All part of the job, ma'am." Ronon leaned closer and kissed her softly.

Elizabeth rested her open hands on his thighs as his lips played with her mouth, teasing her with increasing passion. When he finally drew back she whispered, "Sheppard doesn't kiss me when we have one of our post-mission chats."

With a deep laugh, Ronon said, "He knows better."

Drinking in the lightness of his mood, Elizabeth marveled at the smile in his eyes and the joy of life that came so easily to him now. Reluctantly, she slid her hands back from his warmth and leaned back in her chair again.

"We worked well together today," Ronon stated in that simple, direct way of his.

"We disagreed even better," she laughed heartily.

"I like challenging you."

"I'd be bored if you didn't." Noticing that he wasn't wearing his usual holster and gun, Elizabeth realized it must be very late. She made her mind focus on the non-personal matter that needed to be addressed before she could end her official day as leader of Atlantis. She knew what she would be asking of him. Even more, she knew what she would be asking of herself. Keeping her eyes locked on his, she said, "How would you like to command your own team?"

With a barely perceptible change in his tone or expression he answered, "Not ready yet."

"As good a soldier and commander as Sheppard is, I can't continue expecting him to do it all. After what happened today, I'm convinced Atlantis needs a larger leadership pool, an alternate commander, just in case."

"Lorne could easily take over if anything happened to Sheppard. And there's Caldwell."

"Major Lorne couldn't do everything on his own. He's not John Sheppard." The soft laugh she heard from Ronon made her feel comfortable about continuing to make her case. "Colonel Caldwell spends more time in space between here and Earth than he does in the city, so that's not workable."

His voice still neutral and patient, Ronon said, "I'm not Earth military."

"For what I'll be suggesting to Sheppard, we need someone from this galaxy to work with the right friends and allies, and that includes Ladon's military resources." She waited for a negative reaction. When it didn't come, she said with emphasis, "We can't be caught with our pants down anymore."

Ronon's pensive silence continued, telling her he was giving her words careful thought. "You're a strong, natural leader, Ronon Dex. You would have easily become a high ranking Specialist like your father if the Wraith hadn't changed Sateda's history." Elizabeth saw a look come into his eyes, the one she remembered seeing for many days after Sateda. Pressing a little harder, she continued, "The mission today proved your true abilities. More importantly, it showed that you're trusted by the people you commanded. I know how loyal you are to Sheppard, but I may need you to be more someday."

Taking a slow deep breath Ronon responded, "I hope it won't be necessary, Elizabeth. But if it comes to that, you can depend on me for whatever you and Atlantis need."

His key words, 'depend' and 'whatever', told her Ronon accepted her plan and the place he had in it. "Thank you."

Smiling again, he said, "When you're through being the expedition leader, I'll be waiting in our quarters." With a wink, he headed out the door.

Ronon didn't need to touch her to elicit a thrill. Though the gun and holster were already put away for the night, Elizabeth knew the knives were still there. She loved watching him arm himself each morning now that they shared their own suite of rooms. Closing her laptop, she got up quickly and went out the door, hoping to catch up with him. Even more than the mornings, she loved the disarming before bed at night.