To Be Happy
You make me smile.
You make me laugh.
I trust you with anything
And you trust me back.
You say you will never hurt me
And I believe you.
We have such good times.
Being with you is how I think I get through life.
I look forward to seeing you.
Hearing your name make my heart fly.
Feeling your touch makes me love you more.
You say I am the only one
That ever took your heart.
I tell you the same.
Yes, you make me smile
And you make me laugh.
But, little did I know that…
You would make me cry.
Any sweet moment we ever shared,
You have forgotten them.
Any kind thing you ever said to me,
You took it back.
You know all about me.
I trusted you with things.
I would confide in you.
Now I wish I never did.
I can't describe to you how I feel now.
Used.
Worthless.
I feel ashamed for ever feeling for you.
You broke me!
You to my heart out and broke it in two.
It's like you were stabbing my heart…right in front of me.
I have nothing to live for it seems like.
All I have left are "what ifs".
What if I never met you?
What if I never cared for you like the way I did?
Would my life have been easier?
Why did I ever trust you…
You just changed your ways without a warning.
To you I was wonderful before…
Now you tell me I'm worthless.
You used to say I am a great friend,
Now you say I shouldn't have any friends.
You say I'm not good enough for anyone.
What did I do wrong?
As I throw away the pictures
The memories
The fun times…
I can't help but remember how much I still love you
You took my heart
And I trusted you with it.
Why would I do such a dreadful thing?
I wish I could just get over it.
I wish I could get over what you did to me.
But I can't.
You take everything about me.
You took my heart…
My smile…
My self worth.
It seems as if those things never mattered to you to begin with now.
Why can't I get over you?
Why can't I forget what you did to me?
Do you know why?
Because I still care.
Maybe one day you will see that.
One day you will understand.
I can't talk about it to anyone.
So I write.
Only the description of words on a page will bring to peace for a little while.
No one will understand.
Nothing will except word I write one a page.
So as I drabble on about this thing that happened to me…
I am still hoping.
Waiting.
Dreaming.
Wishing that you will think of me again.
Think of what you did to me
And maybe you will want to say sorry
I'm sorry.
Those two words from your mouth will bring me to peace.
I will forgive you.
And maybe I will be happy again.
But there is one thing that will take a while to get back to me.
Trust.
I don't have that anymore.
I wish I did.
But I am hurting to much now.
I hope to one day be happy again.
But I am not ready for that yet
At least…
Not now.