In which Kenzi, Lauren, and Dyson berate Bo for her handling of the situation (shituation)

Somehow this ended up in Bo's POV which I didn't originally intend to do. And I tried to write her as how I think she should feel.

I dislike how this turned out because as no matter how many ideas pop into my head, writing well feels impossible. But I just had to write this anyways.

I imply that Bo wasn't finished saying what she had to say because to me there seemed to be so much unsaid still.

Spain

"What did she do!?" Kenzi demands.

Tamsin has been at her Villa for no more than an hour, and has said nothing beyond "she hates me," but Kenzi instinctively knows it has something to do with Bo.

"Tamsin." Kenzi grips the Valkyrie's shoulders. "What happened?"

But Tamsin won't speak. She just shakes her head and sits on the couch, curling into a ball and shoving her head between her knees. She grips her forehead and starts mumbling over and over, "What's wrong with me?"

"There's nothing wrong with you!" Kenzi opens her arms to her as a mother would.

Tamsin hugs her tightly as she bursts into tears. "That's what she said. So why not me?!"

Kenzi holds her until her crying stops. When Tamsin finally stops, Kenzi makes her call.

Canada - One Day Earlier.

"You did what?!" Lauren asks. Of course she is overjoyed that Bo and her are back together, but after Bo's tale of what has just happened, she feels badly for Tamsin. They've all been there with Bo in some aspect.

Bo puts her head between her hands and groans. "I tried to convince her she didn't feel the same. I thought it would make it easier. For both of us."

Lauren bites her tongue. She isn't sure what to feel. Nobody deserves this, and as much as she dislikes Tamsin, she finds herself annoyed at Bo. "But why did you try to tell her what she felt wasn't true?"

"Because I thought that's what it was. I thought she was just confused." Bo lifts her head back up. "Apparently I was wrong."

"Bo, there's nothing wrong with not having feelings for someone. You can't help that. But to deny that they have feelings...and I'm sure she did... Lauren pauses, considering her next words carefully. "I guess what I'm trying to say is perhaps you should have just..."

"Really?" Bo cuts her off, glaring pointedly. "You of all people?"

"Hey!" Dyson walks up to the bar at the Dal then, interrupting them. "Do either of you know where Tamsin is? I've been trying to reach her all day with no luck."

When neither woman answers him, he looks back and forth between them.

"Oh for fuck's sake!" Bo bursts out.

"What?" Dyson is confused.

"I'm such an idiot!" Bo slaps her forehead. "Even Lauren thinks I'm an idiot..."

"I did not in any way say that!" Lauren throws her hands up defensively. "I merely suggested that perhaps you could have said it differently. I mean I can't really blame her for taking off like that. I think she just needs some time."

Bo groans. "You could say that again. She told me not to follow her... but what if she does something bad? To herself I mean."

Dyson clears his throat. "You still haven't answered my question."

It is Lauren who explains. "Uh, well...Tamsin took off after Bo rejected her...in that way.

"After I tried to convince her what she was feeling wasn't real," Bo clarifies. "But I love her. I do truly..."

Dyson and Lauren share a look.

"But...not like that." Bo looks at the ground. "I thought she did too. I thought she felt the same. I thought she was confused..."

Now Dyson is shouting at her too. "You tried to tell a woman who had been alive a hundred times longer than you that she had no idea what she was feeling? That she was confused?"

"Yes." Bo whispers. Well what the hell was she supposed to do? What did everyone want her to do? Tell Tamsin it was all good, that everything was sunshine and rainbows? That they would be together forever and get married and adopt strange fae babies? Dyson and Lauren knew that was a lie. They didn't want that to be true either.

Lauren taps her on the shoulder lightly, breaking her from her trance. "Look, Bo. I really have to get back to the clinic. There's still people there who need me..."

But what about me...

Lauren leaves quickly before Bo can protest. She turns to Dyson, hoping to explain.

The look in his eyes stops her. It is one of both anger and pity, and of second-hand heartbreak.

"I'm going to look for Tamsin." He leaves as quickly as Lauren.

Bo knew she screwed up as soon as Tamsin walked away, but only now is she realizing the depth of it.

She sits at the bar, alone, for what feels like hours, wondering what she has done.

She returns home alone to the now-empty house. It hasn't been like this for years, before she knew she was fae. She feels as alone now as she did then, and it terrifies her.

She crawls into bed, alone, for what feels like the first night in forever. It feels hollow without Tamsin there. In her anger, she scrapes nails across her forearm. It stings; but she knows she deserves it. Tamsin's wounds are worse. The scratch marks that now line her arms are nothing. She has not simply grazed Tamsin with her words, she has torn her to shreds.

"What have I done?" She whispers aloud.

Bo wonders if perhaps she is more like Hades than she previously thought.

Dark.

Cruel.

And worst of all, using others without a second thought.

At least, unlike Hades, she regrets everything.

The Next Morning.

Bo wakes to the sound of her phone ringing. She opens her mouth to ask Tamsin to grab it for her, that it's too far away to reach. But then she remembers that Tamsin is gone.

There was something so comforting about just having someone there. Someone to talk to when she was scared, someone to comfort her when she woke up from nightmares. But now she has lost even that.

Bo grabs the phone just in time, not looking at the caller ID, and answers tentatively. "Hello?"

"Bo!" A familiar voice snaps on the other end.

"Kenzi?" She is surprised. Kenzi hadn't made contact in a while. Bo knows it's because she needed a break.

"Yes. It's me." She doesn't sound very happy.

"Thank the gods you called..." She hears someone sniffle in the background. "What's wrong?"

"What's wrong?" Kenzi asks. She raises her voice. "What's wrong? What's wrong is I have a very drunk, depressed, despondent, and desperate Valkyrie on my couch who won't stop repeating "why not me?" And "what's wrong with me. And your name."

"She's in Spain? That was fast." Bo is relieved to hear Tamsin is safe at least. From physical harm anyways.

"Care to explain what is going on? Because I can't get more than a few words out of her, and though I've never been good at math, it's pretty easy to figure out that it has something to do with you."

Bo speaks quickly. "Uh...long story short she thought we were a couple and is in love with me but I don't love her. I mean I love her, I do. But not like that."

"And what exactly made her think there was any feelings whatsoever?" Kenzi asks. "I mean I've known for a while but like shit Bo...what did you do?"

Kenzi knew? And never thought to tell her? This is getting awkward. "Um. It was one time. On my birthday."

"Well apparently one time meant something to her. Most people don't throw themselves at others without a damn good reason!" Kenzi is screaming now. "Not everyone is a succubus Bo!"

Lauren and Dyson shocked her with their reactions, but this just hurts. She should have expected it. Tamsin has become akin to a daughter to Kenzi.

"Can I talk to her at least?" Bo just wants another chance...one more chance to explain. She wasn't finished when Tamsin walked away.

She hears Kenzi shout Tamsin's name. "Do you wanna talk to the succubitch or not?"

Is that what they are all calling her now?

Bo can hear Tamsin's reply clearly. "No."

"No." Kenzi confirms.

"Succubitch? Really?"

"Yes, really. I've always been honest with you Bo, and in all honesty...you were a bitch to her."

"I know!" Bo throws her free hand up in defense, though Kenzi can't see it. "Gods, I know! Okay! But I can't take it back, can I?"

Bo hears a heart-wrenching sob in the background. She feels guilt clawing at her heart. She knows she has caused this.

"You really hurt her. Shit. Look, I have to go. I have to go deal with this mess."

"Kenzi, wait!" Bo tries to catch her before she ends the call.

But it is too late. On the other end there is only silence.

Bo calls Lauren, hoping to try and talk to her again. But Lauren does not pick up.

She tries Dyson next, but is only left with the option to leave a message.

She realizes then that she has fucked up. And fucked up badly. She does not know how much she can fix.

The succubus sits alone on her bed, feeling empty. She understands then, that this is what heartbreak truly feels like.