A/N: Awhile ago, I asked a bunch of people to give me a challenge. This is what Patty Simmons replied: "hm...I have a challenge for joo.
The fic must somehow end up with Sokka saying, "Wtf? PASTRY!"
XD I'm kidding.
But yeah...I thought that'd might trigger SOMETHING! My inspiration usually comes from random words and such."
This is the result.
Imagine a world in which everything you had ever cared about was suddenly ripped away. Follow a heartbroken Sokka as he goes on a quest to find his meat. This gutwrenching story will leave you in tears...
Sokka and the Great Meat Draught
Sokka gazed at the tray heaped with steaming, greasy, fatty, lumpy brown blobs, breathing in the slightly foul aroma as though it were the very air that was keeping him alive. And, according to the tanned teenager, it might as well have been.
Meat.
The very reason he lived.
Meat.
The only reason that he ever got up in the morning.
Meat.
His pride, joy, happiness, love, all of his emotions that made him smile, prominently displayed right there before him in the array of juicy, meaty, goodness. Heck, he would've married the darned food long before now if it were legal…..and if Suki would let him. Okay, yeah, she was important, but second only to meat.
MEAT, MEAT, MEAT, MEAT, MEAT, MEAT, MEAT! It was all he could think about, the rhythm that his heart pumped to as he savored the sight of the artery- clogging yumminess that he could swear was staring straight at him with as much intensity as he was staring at it.
He knew that if meat could talk, it would announce to Sokka that it's one and only wish in life was to get stuffed down a fifteen- year old's mouth, particularly a fifteen year old named Sokka.
And, just in case the meat would mistake another kid named Sokka as the kid that held the throat that it would be honored and delighted to slide down, (because Sokka, of course, is a very common name), it would also have to declare that it particularly enjoys bodies of kids who carry boomerangs everywhere.
Finally, Sokka knew, the meat would state that its happiness depended whether it got digested and stored as backup fat in the boy's body.
MEAT, MEAT, MEAT, MEAT, MEAT, MEAT, MEAT!
The word filled him up everywhere!
In the space before his eyes, filling his lungs, his, heart…..even his nostrils. Just the mere thought of it enveloped Sokka's mind with love and caused him to fill up with happiness.
He didn't know how he could live without it, even for an hour-
NO.
Even for a minute.
And so, finally, the young warrior carefully chose the biggest, fattest, juiciest, most luscious piece of meat off the platter. He raised his greatest love to his mouth, staring at it with such tenderness that it brought tears to his eyes. He would have kissed it if he weren't so hungry. So instead, he stuffed the piece, whole, into his mouth.
It was as though an angel had brought all of the good things, from all over the world, and placed them in Sokka's mouth.
He was in heaven. He savored the taste of the gravy surrounding his senses, the fat tantalizingly sticking to his teeth, the dough rolling around on his toungue, the…."Wait.." Sokka thought, putting a finger to his chin as he chewed, slower now.
"Dough?"
He reluctantly held his hand out under his mouth and did something that he had never, ever imagined ever having to ever do in his life.
He spit the meat out.
Just to be sure that he was fully aware of what he had just done, and not having a nightmare in some asylum, he forced himself to take a moment to think about it.
"I spit the meat out." He mumbled slowly.
"I spit…I spit…Meat…" And that's when he knew that something was desperately wrong. You know you can question Sokka's sanity (hee hee! Sokka's sanity! That sounds funny! Okay, back to the story!) when you hear those fateful five words:
"I spit the meat out."
Imagine, hearing Sokka, Lord Of All Things Meaty announcing that! It was as if his whole life fell apart just then, just from that one short sentence.
"I spit the meat out."
It was so absurd, so..so.. well, almost…scary, that Sokka didn't believe it himself. Imagine if the moon, sun, stars, and all of the power on earth were suddenly blocked, ripped away.
Imagine that, except one hundred times scarier.
Now you can imagine what the bewildered teen was thinking when he looked down to stare at the salivated meat still residing in his hand.
Sokka stared.
And stared.
And stared.
He stood there for so long, and concentrated so hard that he almost fainted when he reached his horrible conclusion.
Because what was in his hands wasn't meat.
He understood, without words, as soon as he poked the glob of food sitting in his palm and didn't get what he called: "The Magic Meat Tingle", that this was terribly wrong.
He couldn't believe that the meat, his friend, his lover, his…everything, had so cunningly fooled him, concealing what would have been immediately obvious.
Because, under the fake adorable meat outer layer, the layer on the inside held none other than-
"Wtf? PASTRY!"
A/N: Oh, lawd xD