Chapter One
Ana's POV
I gaze at myself in our bathroom mirror. I am especially pale today, and for whatever reason, i don't know what it is, but i need to figure out something, knowing Christian, he's probably noticed and, and I'd be willing to bet that its only a matter of time before he comes in here and tells me I'm not eating enough, or I'm not working out enough, or maybe fucking enough? Hmm...that makes the most sense, not that there is ever enough fucking, but the truth is, we haven't had sex in two days. That is a very long time for us. It has to be my fault. I haven't been putting myself out there much lately. I feel so old, when the reality is, I'm the age most women are when they first start having their kids, I've had two! And they're almost adults now. Oh God! Where did the time go? What happened to my beautiful little boy and my sweet little baby girl? I know what happened, 18 years flew by, and now look at where we are, Teddy is in his senior year of high school, Phoebe starting her Junior year. My babies! I can feel water began to prick the back of my eyes, I slap my cheeks a little not only to give them some color, but also to snap myself out of this "mom on the first day of school cliche."
When I walk out of our bathroom and into our bedroom, I see Christian sitting on the bed, dressed in nothing but his jeans. Those jeans, the ones that still hang in that way...OH!
"Well good morning Mrs. Grey." He teases. Clearly basking in the erroused expression plastered on my face. He slowly rises off the bed and slowly swaggers over to me. When he reaches me he takes the tip of his index finger and gently tilts my lower jaw so that my mouth isn't hanging open anymore. "Good morning Mr. Grey!" I mutter breathlessly, raising my eyebrows as I feel his erection digging into my stomach. He wraps his arms tightly around my lower back, squeezing me to him, feeling every inch of me, feeling every inch of him. "Quick fuck before work?" He whispers pushing his groin into me suggestively. "Christian!" His eyes wide "What? I just want to make love to my wife on a dreary Monday morning to hopefully brighten up my day and give me something to look forward to when I come home." Oh my! He wants to make love to me when we get home too! Who am I kidding? Of course he does, who the hell do I think I'm talking about here. And then I remember, "babe I'm sorry but I have to interview a new PA this afternoon, I may not be home til late." His expression falls from joyful, playful, carefree Christian to either 'I'm going to spank the living shit out of you' Christian, or sad and wounded Christian. You'd think after 18 years of marriage I would've figured the man out, but nope. He still constantly surprises me, and to be honest, I wouldn't have it any other way, its thanks to him we haven't become a boring old married couple. Although, are we starting to? Is this the beginning? C'mon, Ana your kids are almost adults, you managed to keep your sex life while your kids were in the oven, just out of the oven, and everywhere in between. Not having sex for two days isn't a big deal for normal people, but not for 38 year old, sex-addicted, mothers who can't keep their panties on for more than 2 minutes. My subconscious is at her snarkiest this morning. Bitch.
"Ana, its been two fucking days." He says coldly yet calmly.
"I know Christian, I'm sorry. Things have been so crazy at work, and then when I get home I'm just so tired all the time. I don't know what's wrong. I wasn't this tired even when I was pregnant with Ted and Phoebe. Maybe I'm just getting too old and wrinkly for you Mr. Grey." I look up at him with wide eyes and a pouty face. And just like that he picks me up and tosses me onto our big bed and before I know it, he is on top of me, kissing me, hard, passionately, demandingly. Wow. How the fuck did I end up with the hottest, sexiest, smartest, kindest, most beautiful husband on this earth?
"Do you know what happens to wives when they pout at their husbands?" I shake my head, but with a giant, face splitting grin on it. "Oh yes you do Mrs. Grey, you've known for the past 19 years, haven't you?" I can finally feel some blood rushing to my cheeks. "Yes?" I save Christian the trouble and pull up my dress so that all there is my purple lacey panties.
"Oh Mrs. Grey, I've missed your beautiful ass!" I gape at him. Nice choice of wording there, Grey. I think to myself and then I roll my eyes.
"OW!" I yelp.
"Just because I don't see your eyes rolling, doesn't mean that I don't know you're doing it Anastasia. Keep that in mind." He whispers into my ear, and starts to unzip my dress.
"No more spanking?" And I can almost hear the tiniest hint of disappointment in my voice. Christian raises his eyebrows at me and then he chuckles. "Do you want more?" He asks. I shrug my shoulders. "I want more of you, I don't care what kind of shape or form, just you!" I stroke his stubble with the tips of my fingers. Oh it feels so good! This is what I need, this right here. It feels like forever since we last did this. Just sat and stared into each other's eyes, holding each other oh so intimately. Why can't every minute of every day be like this? I miss this, I remember when it used to be like this every second of every day, just me and him. But what happened? What changed? It could've been the kids because even after both of them were born, things were still pretty much the same as before, well okay not the same but we somehow always found a way to have our time. I don't care how he does it, i just want him inside of me. Now!
"I am not going to spank you. I don't want to right now. Right now I am going to make sweet, devoted, gentle, delicious love to my sweet, devoted, gentle, delicious wife." And with that, he kisses me, his tongue on mine, claiming me, letting me feel every part of him. Oh, he tastes like minty toothpaste, coffee, and best of all, Christian! I'm lying underneath his heat, his body consuming me in itself. He sits up taking me with him and pulls my dress over my head and tosses it onto the floor. I am now wearing nothing but my purple bralette that matches my panties, as well as my stockings and a garter belt. He runs his hands up and down my thighs, playing with my garters, snapping them against my skin.
"Ahh!" I moan, as the tingly sensation of the snaps from the belt work their ways from the tip of my thighs to deep, deep within my groin. He kisses me, and kisses me, and kisses me, and kisses me. All over. From the nape of my neck all the way around to my chest, down to my breasts, down my stomach, all the way down...there.
Christian is leaning over me, gazing into my eyes. Fuck me already Grey! I beg him in my mind. Wondering how much longer he's gonna wait, this might be the longest foreplay I have ever had to endure. I can't take it anymore!
"Oh No, Mrs. Grey." He whispers into my ear with his uncanny ability to read my thoughts. 19 years later and he's still got it.
"Please Christian!" I moan.
And with complete and utter slowness, and silkiness, he enters me. "How's that baby?" He hisses into my ear as he continues to move slowly in and out, in and out, again and again. And I moan, It feels so good, so right. Just me and him doing what we do, and I don't know why but it feels like years and years and years since we last did this. And I'm close, so close, higher, higher, and right as he eases back into me, he finds his release and whispers in my ear "I Love you Ana." And stills, and his words are my undoing, and as soon as i hear him say that I explode around him holding him close to me, and I scream his name finding my own bliss.
Phoebe's POV
"Mom, I can't find my keys!" God Dammit, I am going to be late! Where the fuck is she? And as the thought crosses my mind, she walks into the kitchen with hair that was definitely messier than when I last saw her 20 minutes ago, and the reason is totally apparent, and disgusting. Okay, nice that my parents like each other, but sometimes, they have NO shame around me and Teddy, and quite frankly, its fucking irritating. I'm forbidden to have sex until my wedding night when I'm 30, and they're allowed to do whatever the hell they want! For fuck sake, I am a 16 year old girl living in America in the 21st century, its gonna happen sooner or later! I'm not particularly eager to have sex, it's not something i'm really dying for, its more like, 'Oh I wonder what that will be like' but theres no one I like enough. I've still yet to even have a boyfriend! I can't help but feel like I'm lagging in the dating race. Most of my friends all had boyfriends by the time they started Jr. High, it hasn't helped me in the departments of confidence, and all that. I've always had really low self esteem, which doesn't make any sense, I mean my parents always tried to instill good values, and strong personality and views, and goals, and morals, and all that crap you're supposed to get from your parents. But no matter how hard I try, I just can't seem to look at myself in the same light that others do. All I see is a well-behaved, scared, confused, lonely, frustrated, 16 year old girl who on the outside has her shit together, but if you dig a few shades deeper, you'd see she has no idea who the fuck she is.
My mom tosses me my car keys. "Behind the coffee maker!" She says. I catch the keys in my right hand and jingle them in gratitude. "Thanks mom, now go fix your hair before you go to work, and can you and dad, for the five billionth time please try to be a little bit more discreet? I mean you guys give me and Teddy pretty weird ideas about what is and isn't proper etiquette when it comes to sex. I roll my eyes at her. She turns and gazes at me, eyes wide open.
"Phoebe?" She asks patiently as if talking to a child half my age.
"What mom?!" I shout at her, I know where she's going with this, we've had this conversation a million times, and every time we have it, its because she thinks that I have lost my virginity. Or that I'm knocked up. Honestly, she gives my dad a run for his money sometimes. But of course, no one is as bad as he is. Sometimes I wish that I was a boy, then I wouldn't have to deal with his biest, irrational, overprotectiveness that no matter what I say or do, is cemented in his psyche forever. She is about to open her mouth when in walks dad. He strides in, kisses my hair, and walks over and puts his arms around my moms waste while she cooks.
"Don't shout at your mother Phoebe, she is a wonderful woman, she works hard, she loves you, she wants to protect you, there is nothing wrong with that." He says, his voice barely a whisper. I'm so sick of this, I can't even go home to get away from the fact that everyone in the world is in love except me. In fact, home is where it's the worst, I am happy that my parents love each other, really. But my parents are in love. Very in love. Like the kind of love you only read about in books, or see in movies. And its beautiful and I'm happy that my parents have it, but if I'm totally being honest, its painful sometimes. Really painful. Even Teddy's had a few girlfriends, the one he's dating now is alright, shes younger than me though, and thinks that cause shes dating my older brother that she is somehow superior to me? I didn't even know we were in competition to be honest, but to her, whenever I'm around her it seems like I am. But honestly, I just don't feel like i can be positive about anyone elses relationship when I don't even have one of my own to focus on. Maybe I'm just immune to boys or boys are immune to me? I dont know, but one thing I do know, is that if i don't get the fuck out of this kitchen, I'm either going to result to screaming, crying, or vomiting 3 things that I've been doing quite a lot of lately.
"Do you guys have no shame at all? I'm so sick of coming downstairs every morning to eat my breakfast, and then not being able to because I have lost my appetite at the mere sights of you 2 fondling each other." And with that I pick up my bag, throw it over my shoulder and storm out of the kitchen, and out of the corner of my eye, i see my parent's expressions. I have never spoken to my parents like that before, I think they're shocked.
When I get into my audi, i turn the key, and I'm about to back out of the driveway, when all of a sudden, my passenger side door opens, and my father is sitting next to me, staring at me impassively. "What the fuck" I yell, startled. He glares down at me, giving me an icy cold look.
"Language, young lady!" He growls. And I am frozen, paralyzed, what have I done now? I swear to God, everyday its something new with him.
"What's wrong?" I ask, calmer now.
"I could ask you the same thing young lady. Come, drive me to work, I think we should have a little talk." He says as he grabs the seatbelt and fastens it tight around himself.
"About what?" I stutter, turning and easing down the long driveway.
"I don't know honey, what is it that is making you snap at your loved ones?" What am I supposed to say? That I'm jealous of my own parents relationship, of my own brother's relationship? At least you guys have someone. Or maybe its the fact that I'm a 16 year old girl in high school in the 21st century and quite frankly i can't imagine that my life will get much easier before the next 2 years is up.
"Look dad, I am a teenager, we're well known for our naughty language, raging hormones, and bad decision-making. Look I'm sorry I yelled at you and mom, it wasn't your fault, but for your own sanity, don't try to understand my actions or what I'm saying because I don't understand it anymore than you do, I just am going through a lot of hard stuff right now, stuff that I don't feel comfortable discussing with you. Or with mom, its just stuff that I need to figure out by myself before I can talk to anyone about it. And I'm sorry dad, but you're not exactly on the top of the list of people i wish to bare my soul to. But I'm sorry for what I said before." I quickly glance over at him, he is gazing at me.
"Eyes on the road!" He snarls. Great. He's mad at me for being a teenager and not wanting to talk to him about my teenage problems, which honestly, i don't know why he would want to hear about them in the first place. People spend years trying to find their way out of this shit pit we call adolescence, why would anyone try to revisit it?
"Pheebs, a long time ago, back when dinosaurs roamed the earth, I was a teenager too." I let out a little giggle. Well at least he's aware of how old he is. "I went through everything you're going through right now." Not everything! I snort inwardly, rolling my eyes.
"Phoebe Anastasia Rose Grey!" He snarls at me. Oh for fuck sake! I pull up outside his office and slam on the brakes. My dad jolts forward unexpectedly. "What the fuck are you doing?" He growls at me.
"I am so sick of you barking at me!" I shout at him. I have never screamed at my father before. He gapes at me, eyes wide, mouth hanging open. I don't think he knows what to say.
"I am your child, not one of your employees, or your servants, or my mother when you tie her up for your own depraved sexual pleasure! How dare you look down on me for simply having my own mind instead of being controlled by you! I am not something that you can just treat as your own to do whatever you like with. I am fully capable of making my own decisions and living my own life. Now get out of my car before I am late to school, although if I am I guess that would give you another chance to bitch and moan at me, I'm sure you don't want to waste an opportunity like that!" I take a big breath. What the fuck just came out of my mouth? What did I just say to my father? Oh no! I don't even remember half of what I said, it wasn't good though.
"Phoebe, how long have you known?" my dad asks me in a cool, calm, and almost sinister tone.
"Known what?" I ask, trying to sound clueless. I know exactly what he is asking me, I can't believe I said that! I remember when I first found out, I promised myself I wouldn't ever acknowledge it again. I don't know what happened. Fuck. Was I even conscious? All I remember was red. Red everywhere, and his gaped expression.
"Phoebe, I am not going to say it! Tell me now!" He growls at me with the darkest, angriest, yet fearful look on his face. He's holding his breath. I take the end of a piece of my hair and twirl it around my finger, looking down and away from is scorching expression.
"About a year ago. I left my phone up in the tower guest room, and when I was looking for it, I found some other stuff too." My voice is barely audible, but I know he heard me, I flush the color of the red street lights in front of us. I can't believe I'm having this conversation with my father. Thats what you get for having a mouth the size of the Grand Canyon! My inner bitch sneers at me. She has a point I guess.
"Have you told anyone?" He asks, and I can tell he's bracing himself for some bad news.
"Ew! No, of course not!" Why the fuck would I want anyone to know what kind of sex life my parents have? I sure as fuck don't, but unfortunately I am not so fortunate. My dad closes his eyes in obvious relief and regret too. Then he looks at me with a soft, resolved expression.
"Phoebe, I don't want to talk about this, and I'm sure you don't either. I'm sorry you had to find those things, I'm sure that wasn't a pleasant surprise. But let me just say that everyone has something that works for them, it doesn't matter how or why, but it is a private thing and lets try to keep it that way and not linger on it. It's not something we ever need to talk about again." He exhales. I want to jump out of the car and into the traffic next to me. I can't believe we're talking about this. Although I guess if we were going to, he did a pretty good job of making it quick and to the point.
"I agree. I have to go dad, have a good day at work." I turn away and put both hands back on the wheel, making it clear that I want to leave and am ready to go. He leans over gives me a quick kiss on my head and gets out of the car, gently shutting the door. As soon as it is, I floor on the gas, I need to get the fuck out of here. I look in my rearview mirror, and see my dad's panicked, angry face. Well he can stew for all I care. I've had it.
When I finally get to school, I'm already ten minutes late, I bolt to my first class, Chemistry. Not a particular favorite of mine, I've already been late for it twice in the last month. I burst through the door, and everyone looks up at me. I look over at Mr. Miller and give him a sheepish, 'Sorry I'm late again, please don't send me to the office' smile and bat my eyelashes a little bit. Mr. Miller has always been, in my opinion, a closeted perv, so sometimes a little eyelash fluttering can get me out of a sticky situation. He doesn't buy it. He shakes his head, and points his finger out the door.
"Dr. Waldorf." He says blankly. My face falls, I have never been sent to the principal's before. I turn and walk out of the room. Totally mortified I walk slowly up to Dr. Waldorf's office. And as I'm walking, I can't help but wonder what happens when you go to see the principal. Does she scream at you? Does she throw eggs at you? Does she ship you off to public school? The thoughts are endless, and out of nowhere I feel the tiniest hint of excitement. So this is what its like? Although I guess I'm not that much of a badass, being sent to the office for being late because I was arguing with my father isn't that reckless.
As I walk into her office, she looks up with obvious surprise on her face. I can tell she's surprised to see me. "Ms. Grey, can I help you with something?" She asks lightly. I take a seat in one of the two dark brown leather lounge chairs she has in front of her dark brown, polished, wooden desk. She sits back in her giant leather chair and folds her hands, looking at me expectantly. She isn't going to be pleased.
"I was late to Chemistry this morning, and Mr. Miller told me to come and speak with you." I say sheepishly, staring down at the strand of hair I'm twirling around my finger. When I do look up at her, her eyebrows are raised, and she clears her throat.
"Well Ms. Grey, you're well aware that exceptional attendance is required to be successful here, and in the real world, arent you?" She says, her voice getting higher as she goes on. I nod at her frantically, trying to indicate that I understand perfectly.
"Your father is a very successful man, do you think he became successful by being tardy?" I shake my head frantically. Why is she talking about him? I mean, I see the connection, but of all the times to have him pop up, she chooses now? He is the last person I want to think about right now, and as I look at Dr. Waldorf, I notice a slight flush creep over her face. Holy shit! She is blushing at the thought of my father! MY Father! I think I'm gonna be sick. I'm used to people thinking my father is attractive, my friends are infatuated with him. Honestly I don't see how a bunch of teenage girls can be obsessed with a 40 year old man. But the Dean of my school? No! Not happening. But I'm already in enough trouble as it is, so I guess maybe I should just hold my tongue.
"I apologize Dr. Waldorf, it won't happen again.' I say with a very sincere look on my face, hoping that will get me out of here. She looks at me up and down, trying to decide if I mean it I think. She nods at me and picks up her phone and starts dialing a number. "Thank you Phoebe, you're free to go." She says nodding toward the door. I sit there for a moment, expecting her to say something else. Is that really it? That's what happens when you get sent to the Dean's office? I get up and trying not to move too quickly I walk away feeling very uneasy.
I guess I should go back to class. Ugh. I really don't want to be in chem class right now, I've had the worst morning and all I wanna do is just go home, climb into bed and watch Netflix until I get bored or die. As I'm coming out of the office, I see Alex Collins sitting in a chair, chewing gum loudly and tapping her foot on the floor to music that I can hear through her headphones. She is in the same grade as me, I don't know her that well, but I know her well enough to know that she's more likely to be found outside the dean's office than I am. Shes one of those girls who just doesn't give a fuck. In a way, I kind of envy her. The way she lives her life without any rules, or cares about what anyone else says, or thinks. How does she do it? She glances up at me, and I realize I'm staring at her, I quickly look away.
"Uh, can I help you?" She asks rather coldly.
"I'm Sorry, I heard your music." I babble, hoping it qualifies as some kind of explanation. She looks at me up and down with bemusement, I mirror her, looking up and down.
"What's your name?" She asks much warmer this time.
"Phoebe. Phoebe Grey."
"Oh yeah, you're the one with the hot dad." She says rather amused. I roll my eyes and sink down in the chair 2 down from her and put my head in my hands.
"Please not you too, I've had the worst fucking morning and I really can't deal with anymore shit from anyone." I snap. She raises her eyebrows at me, looking impressed I think.
"Oh sweetie, why didn't you say so? I've got just the cure, come on!" She gets up from her chair and walks over to me and holds out her hand.
"What?" I ask looking up at her bemused.
"We're gonna cheer you up." She says grabbing me and pulling me to my feet. And she leads me out the back doors, down the steps, past the tennis courts, and down to the swimming pool. It's empty and no ones around. She opens the gate to the pool, and sits on the edge and sticks her feet in the water.
"What are we doing here?" I ask. She takes out a small gold box and opens it up to show 3 joints. Holy shit, she wants to smoke? Here? Its so out in the open, we could easily get caught.
"Oh, I don't, I mean I've never…" I trail off, not knowing what to say or how to approach this.
"Yeah no shit, you've got virgin written all over you." I stare at her. Do I? I guess so, I don't know. I slowly walk over and sit next to her sticking my toes in the water. She hands me a joint, I put it in my mouth and she lights it for me, and tells me to inhale deep and hold it in. I do as she says and hold it in for about one second and then release coughing and gagging and crying. Alex laughs and shakes her head. I guess I didn't do it up to her standards.
"Holy Shit! That's intense!" I say holding my hand over my chest, barley croaking out the words.
"I guess so." She says shrugging her shoulders as she takes the joint from me, and takes a long inhale, lets it out in a thick cloud and then inhales the smoke back in, all in one thick cloud, holds it, and then releases, and she doesn't cough at all.
"How do you do that?' I ask intrigued.
"Well first you have to be able to hold the smoke in, so you might wanna work on that first." She says winking at me, and I laugh, and let out one more little cough as I do.
"Won't we get caught down here?" I ask, taking the joint back from her.
"No, no one ever comes down here at the beginning of the day." She says sounding very sure of herself. But hey, as long as we don't get caught, I'm fine with it. I take another long inhale, and this time I hold it.
As we're walking back up towards school, I can feel the weight of my eyes, I can smell the scent of marijuana on us. Fuck. We're totally fucked now. I take my sunglasses out of my bag to shield my eyes. As we're walking through the doors I accidently bump into someone. Great. I stink of weed, and now I've just run into someone. I fall to the ground and everything goes dark.
When I come to, the first thing I see is the sun glaring in my eyes, and when I focus more, it is eclipsed by someone's head, leaning over me. Shit! Its Teddy!
"Teddy?" I ask as my eyes focus closer on him. He grabs my hand and pulls me to my feet.
"Sorry Pheebs. You okay?" He asks, then I see his nostrils flare, and his eyebrows furrow. And I know that he can smell the weed. He takes off my sunglasses and studies my eyes and I see his widen.
"Phoebe?" I can tell what he's trying to ask me just with that one word. I yank my sunglasses out of his hand and put them back on.
"Uhh...I'm gonna go. It was fun chillin with you Phoebe, we'll have to do it again sometime." She winks at me and gives me a devilish smile. Shit. She is not helping my cause at all. I watch her go back into school looking very pleased with herself.
"Phoebe!" My attention is drawn back to Teddy.
"What?!" I respond, irritated.
"What the hell is wrong with you? Smoking? At school?!" I cannot believe that Teddy is scolding me. Who the fuck does he think he is? I don't have to answer to him.
"Oh please Teddy, you really expect me to believe that you don't smoke? I've noticed you coming him with some red eyes quite a few times. Who are you to preach to me?"
"I'm your older brother Phoebe, I'm supposed to look out for you. Yes, I smoke. Sometimes. But I am 2 years older than you and I don't do it at fucking school Phoebe!" I glare at him.
"Teddy, I don't want to talk about this. I've had the shittiest morning and I found someone and something that finally helped me relax. Leave me alone. And so help me, if you say a word of this to mom or dad, I will tell them all about the party that you threw when they were in Paris last month." I fold my arms glaring at him.
Teddy gapes at me. I don't normally talk to him like this, Teddy and I have always been very close. We've been through everything together, but I'm also fed him with him and my parents constantly treating me like I'm eight years old.
"You wouldn't." He says glaring at me.
"No, not if you kept your mouth shut."
"Fine." He says rolling his eyes.
"Good." And with that, I turn on my heel and walk back into school. And I can feel Teddy watching me as I walk away. I don't care if he's mad, he's a hypocrite and I am not dealing with him.
As I'm driving him, I can't help but feel a huge knot forming in my stomach. Teddy told me he wouldn't say anything, and I know he won't. He wouldn't risk his squeaky clean record with mom and dad. When I walk through the door and into the living room, I see both of my parents sitting on the couch, it's obvious that they have been waiting for me.
"And where have you been?" My father looks pissed. Even more pissed than when I dropped him off at work this morning. My mother doesn't look quite as furious, but she is definitely not pleased. I try to head upstairs to my room but my dad stops me.
"Not so fast, have a seat young lady." He gestures to one of the chairs opposite the couch. This is the chair that Teddy and I sit in when we're in trouble. Neither of us sit in it very often, but from time to time we've both had to endure it's discomfort. I roll my eyes and slump down into the chair, crossing my arms like the eight year old child everyone has been treating me as.
"I went for a drive after school. Hung out with some friends, I had a hard day." I say glaring over at my father.
"Don't you dare. You are in serious trouble young lady." My father raises his voice a few levels. But my mom squeezes his hand and he relaxes a little.
"What exactly am I in trouble for?" I ask. I know there are a few possibilities but I'm not sure which one he is referring to.
"What do you think?" My father asks me much calmer but in a very stiff and harsh tone. I shrug my shoulders.
"Teddy came to see me today at my office." Oh shit. I can feel the blood rushing to my face.
"And?" I ask, not knowing what else to say, did he tell him? My dad sits up, and leans closer to me, making his anger even more evident.
"Phoebe, if I ever hear about you doing drugs again, you will never leave this house again. Do you understand me. I will get you a private tutor and you can just stay here until you graduate. Do I make myself clear?" My scolds me like I have never been scolded before. I don't think I have ever seen him so mad at me. And my mother is just sitting there. Why is she just sitting there? She's just going to let him bark at me like this? Whats the point of her even being here if she's just going to sit there? I look over at her, willing her to say something to him.
"Don't look at me like that Phoebe. I'm just as upset about this as your father." She says in a very calm rational tone. Well at least she's not screaming at me.
"Dad, I wasn't-"
"Give me your bag." He interrupts me. Shit. Alex gave me one of her joints after we finished smoking by the pool, just in case I "needed" it later. And right now I really do.
"Give me your bag Phoebe!" I pick my bag up off the floor and shakely hand it to him. He doesn't open the bag, but merely holds it up to his nose and smells it. He opens the bag, and pulls out the joint, holding it up in front of me. I swallow hard. He gets up, walks over to the trash can, breaks the joint in half and crushes it up tossing it into the garbage. He slowly walks back over. Standing over me, he glares at me and folds his arms.
"Grounded. One month." My mouth drops open and I leap up.
"What, are you fucking kidding me?!" I scream at him. Who the fuck gets grounded for a month? I smoked one joint, big fucking whoop!
"Two months." He says, his arms still folded. I gape at him. I want to scream at him again, but I don't want to make it three months.
"Mom!" I look over at her in desperation. Willing her to make him see reason. She stands.
"I am behind your father on this 100% Phoebe. Don't look at expecting me to bail you out. I'm very disappointed in you." And I feel like I just got punched in the gut. Neither of my parents have ever said they were disappointed in me before. And for the first time all day, I don't feel defensive and angry, but sad and ashamed. My parents are disappointed in me? I feel tears prick the back of my eyes, and I can't look at either of them anymore. And I storm off upstairs.
I am sobbing into my pillow. I haven't cried like this in a while. How could Teddy rat me out like that? He promised. I can't believe that little shit. I hear a light knock on my bedroom door.
"Go away!" I shout, not caring who it is. I hear a small click of the door opening and I look up through blurry, foggy, teary eyes. But I can see its Teddy.
"I hate you! Get out of my room!" I shout at him, not holding back anything.
"Pheebs, I'm sorry. I did it for you. You can't be doing shit like that." He sits on my bed and I kick him so that he leaps back up.
" I am so telling dad about your little rager last month!"
"I told him already. This is more important Phoebe. Don't you see that I'm doing this because I care about you? Because I'm worried about you!"
"For fucks sake Teddy, it was one fucking joint! I'm not a pothead!" Although, I did like it a lot.
"It's different Phoebe, you were doing it at school. With Alex Collins! Thats bad enough." What the fuck does he know? Has he ever hung out with her? He doesn't know anything about her. Do you? I tell my inner bitch to fuck off. I stand and glare up at Teddy.
"I've been grounded for two fucking months Teddy! Because of you and your huge mouth!"
"No Phoebe, you were grounded for one month because of your bad decisions and another for your foul mouth. Don't put this on me, I was just looking out for you." I fume. Knowing that I can't argue with that.
" Teddy…" I say very calmly.
"Yes?" He asks nervously.
"Get the fuck out of my room right now!" I push him out my bedroom door and slam it shut, pushing my back against it so he can't come in. Unfortunately I don't have a lock on my door. No matter how many times I have begged my parents for one, they won't budge. Me and Teddy aren't allowed to have locks on our doors. I guess its so everyone in the house can just burst in whenever the fuck they want. After a while I sink to the floor, putting my head in my hands and start weeping again.
I wake up on my bedroom floor. I have no idea what time it is. I look over at my clock and its 9:45pm. I have not done any homework or spoken to my family since I shoved Teddy out of my room. My head is foggy and my eyes are heavy. I can't remember the last time I cried so hard. I stagger to my feet and go into my bathroom to wash my face. When I come back into my room I hear my phone ringing. Its a number that I don't recognize, but I still answer.
"Hello?"
"Hey Phoebe, what's up, its Alex." What? How did she get my number?
"Oh, hey. Not much. I've been grounded for forever."
"Why?" She asks.
"For smoking. My prick of a brother ratted me out." I roll my eyes. I am still so mad.
"Shit, sorry. That sucks. I just wanted to let you know that I'm having a party this weekend. My parents are out of town and I thought I'd have a rager. And naturally, I thought of you." Is she being ironic?
"Oh, thats awesome. I wish I could go, but I'm locked up for the next two months."
"Two months?!" Oh good, I'm not the only one who thinks its ridiculous.
"Yeah, it sucks." Once again, I am interrupted by one of my family members barging into my room. This time its my dad. He glares at me and holds out his hand, making it clear that he wants my phone.
"I gotta go Alex, I'll talk to you later." I hang up before she responds.
"Dad I can't give you my phone, I need it!" He snatches the phone out of my hands and puts it in his back pocket.
"I will give this to you before you leave for school, and you will give it to me immediately when you come home. Other than that. No phone, and no computer." He grabs my macbook off of my desk.
"Dad! I do most of my homework on my macbook, you can't take that away!" I give him my puppy dog eyes that always make him cave.
"Not this time Phoebe. If you need to do your homework, then you can do it with me in my office, where I can keep an eye on you." Holy shit. He really is treating me like a child. My dad leaves the room with my laptop and my phone. I am so so SO mad! I start to cry again. Not because I've lost my phone and my computer, but because I lost my father's trust, which is even more depressing. I get up and go to the bathroom to do what I do whenever I get super depressed. I shut the door, put a chair under the doorknob hoping that it will keep anyone from coming in. I tie my hair back, kneel down in front of the toilet, lift the lid, and dispose of what little I did eat today.