Fenris watched as Hawke sat on the ground, cradling his mother's body. He knelt in front of Hawke and carefully took Leandra away. He placed her respectfully in the chair the blood mage had her in before and went back to Hawke. Fenris gently took his former lover's hands and pulled him to his feet, saying "we should go." Hawke didn't respond, and Fenris barely felt the warmth of Hawke's magic. He simply allowed himself to be lead, though eventually Fenris didn't need to hold his hand.
Varric was blissfully quiet, only offering condolence and gently pulling him forward when Hawke stopped walking. Anders was as chatty as ever and wouldn't give Hawke a moment of peace, which angered Fenris. As Anders prattled on how he couldn't believe a mage could do something so horrible Fenris snapped "Shut up Anders! Can you not see you're making it worse!" He grabbed Hawke's hand and ran with him. They ran all the way to the Hawke Estate, and Fenris made sure the others didn't follow. Hawke needed to be home. Fenris locked the door and turned to see Hawke heading out of the foyer. He hesitated before following, but waited with Bodahn and Sandal when Hawke went to the study.
He listened intently when he heard Gamlen's voice. When Gamlen started blaming Hawke he felt like his blood was starting to boil. Bodahn stuttered "uh, m-meserre? Are you alright? You're glowing" Fenris looked at his hand and sighed irritatedly. He took a deep breath and said "I apologize. Thank you for your concern." When Hawke finally emerged Fenris went stiff. Hawke looked over at Fenris and gave a sad smile before going to his bedroom.
Fenris paced in front of the fireplace, trying to think of what to do. How could he help his lover? Wait, lover? No, Fenris closed that door. Hawke was no longer his. Varric chuckled and said "you should just talk to him Fenris. He needs you" Fenris whirled around and hissed "how did you get in?" Varric shook his head and replied "not important. I just wanted to make sure Hawke was ok, but now? I know he'll be fine" Fenris sighed and asked "how? He's hiding in his room"
"Listen, he'll only get better if you, and this is the tricky part, talk to him"
"I don't know what to say! I'll only make it worse!"
"You don't need to have something planned," Varric said "all you need is your voice." Fenris looked back into the fire. Varric chuckled and said "you don't get it do you? Hawke cares for you." Fenris replied "and I care for him, but we parted ways" Varric scoffed at Fenris. He took the elf's arm and said "This scarf you wear around your wrist? That was Bethany's. And the crest on your belt? Carver's" Fenris tore his arm away and snapped "make your point dwarf!" He sighed and replied "think elf. There's a reason he gave you those things, and a reason you keep them" Fenris sighed and looked toward the stairs. He asked quietly "what would you do for me? Could I do the same?" He hesitated before heading up the stairs and spoke under his breath "Hawke... Festis bei umo canavarum"
He entered the room slowly and said "I don't know what to say, but I am here" Hawke was sitting on the edge of the bed. He closed his eyes and said "just say something. Anything." Fenris walked closer and said "eh- They say death is only a journey. Does that help?" Hawke stared at the fireplace and replied "It just raises more questions. Journey to where?" Fenris sat on the bed beside Hawke and said "I don't know. It's just something people say" He swallowed hard and added "to be honest, I see no point in filling these moments with empty talk"
Hawke looked over at Fenris and faked a smile, which worried the elf since Hawke never faked a smile when someone knew something was wrong already. Hawke got up and stood in front of the fireplace. He stared deeply into the fire and said "you were right all along Fenris" Fenris got up and asked "right about what?" Hawke sighed and replied through gritted teeth "magic does spoil everything" Fenris shook his head and said "it hasn't spoiled you, Hawke" He hesitantly placed a hand on Hawke's shoulder, but Hawke shrugged it off and said angrily "don't. I don't want your pity" This hurt Fenris deeply, hearing Hawke echo his anger after Hadriana's death. He grabbed Hawke and forced him to look at him as he said "it's not pity! It's... it's..." Hawke urged "it's what Fenris?" Fenris tried to tell him, but he just couldn't do it.
Hawke scoffed and said "I thought so" Hawke started walking out of the room. Fenris ran after him and yelled "Hawke, where are you going?" Hawke didn't even look back as he answered "The Gallows. I'm turning myself in to The Circle" Fenris caught up just as Hawke was heading out the door and slammed the door shut. "Get out of my way Fenris" Hawke said threateningly. Fenris shook his head and replied almost pleadingly "you can't go to The Circle, they will execute you!" Hawke grabbed Fenris by his shoulders and threw him against a wall. He looked Fenris straight in the eye and asked "So what! What do I have out here? My family consists of an uncle that hates me, my friends don't need me... why should I stay where I only cause harm?" Fenris looked away and said under his breath "I need you..." Hawke leaned closer and asked "what?" Fenris looked back at Hawke and replied with conviction in his voice "I said I need you! If you were to die I... I don't think I could survive the loss" Hawke looked shocked. He didn't know what to say.
Fenris sighed in frustration, tears welling in his eyes, and said "I... should go..." Hawke carefully placed a hand on Fenris' cheek, wiping the tears away with the other hand, and said softly "would it... really hurt you that much?" Fenris replied "of course. I... I still..." Hawke leaned closer and whispered as he slowly closed the distance between their lips
"I understand