Kelly Abbott always enjoyed driving long distances. It was something relaxing, strangely exhilarating. To hit the road, to find one that would go straight ahead, to watch the landscapes change along the way.
He had turned off the radio a while ago to enjoy the silence only altered by the powerful purr of the engine. He caught himself humming a song he had heard a hour ago, something about a guy returning home.
He chuckled. Well, that wasn't really appropriate, was it?
He stopped humming as he saw the Michigan board on the side of the road. Something seemed to drop deep into his stomach and he cleared his throat before shaking his head.
"Man up, Kel. You're a big boy now.", he told himself before leaning with his elbow against the driver door. He scratched his temple before rubbing his forehead. Yeah, it has been so long since he had hit this particular Interstate. So long since he had thought of this place.
Funny how he had managed to forget everything, good and bad memories, and how they all seemed to come back at once.
He glanced at the passenger seat and saw the letter that was staring at him. The letter the lawyer taking care of Mrs Ollister's daily administration had sent him to notify Kelly from her passing away. And telling him that he was her only heir. She didn't possess much but she had made sure he would have it. Him who always had been her 'favorite' and her biggest pride.
His eyes darkened with sadeness and he focused back on the road.
The funerals were planned for later this very day and he had insisted to be there, to say good bye to her, to the closest he ever had from a mother. He remembered her gentle smile, her apple pies and the afternoons spent drinking iced teas under the porch while watching thunderstorms.
He should have called her more often.
He should have visited her. But they both had known all along that he wouldn't, that coming back to Charity was something he didn't want. And something she would never ask.
Charity.
"Oh Hell", he muttered under his breath.
This damn town.
Never a town had been so bad named in his opinion.
He had been brought there when he was five by an aunt who wanted nothing more than to ditch him as fast as possible. He was the son of a too young mother who had stopped caring about him the second he had been out of her, if he got the story right. She disappeared not long after with one of her countless boyfriends and no one had heard of her after that. The rest of her family had made sure that no one would hear of him either, bringing him to Mrs Ollister after his grandmother and a friend of the old lady had passed away. Even if his Granny had raised him in the first years of his life, he barely remembered her. Mrs Ollister was a widow, in her fifties already when he had been dumped so to speak on her doorstep. She had never been blessed with a child as she told him many times, her husband passing away in a mine accident not long after their wedding and Kelly had been the blessing she had waited for so long.
A late blessing, indeed but a blessing anyway.
She had been the one bringing him to school, the one getting up at night when he had nightmares, the one comforting him when he was hurt.
And even after he had left Charity, she had been the one he had called every week with the regularity of a clock, even if it was just to say Hello, because no matter what, she had always been 'Home'.
He sighed and his fingers started to nervously tap the steering wheel.
It was odd to think she was gone. That he would never hear her voice again.
The day before, he had grabbed his phone by habit, to call her before suddenly remembering that she wouldn't answer and staring stupidly at his phone.
This would take a while for him to get used to her absence. Because even miles away, she had never been very far from his heart.
And even if he hated Charity, she was not the only good thing he had missed from there.
The landscapes shifted again and more familiar sights came to meet him on the road.
Wasn't that the old sugar factory? Yes! But she looked abandoned. Impressive, almost fightening, curled up under the horizon, like a large beast ready to attack.
And there, he could see the old clocktower they had explored when they were twelve. The one where Nick almost peed himself when a raccoon had jumped out from nowhere and chased after them.
He laughed at that memory.
Nick.
Yeah, that guy was linked to most of his best memories here. It was his best friend back there, his partner in crime. His associate.
He drove over a small bridge and gasped. He knew that place!
He parked the car on the side of the road and got out, cringing as he realised his body was crispated by the long driving.
He stretched up and looked around.
If he wasn't near the old dam, he would be damned.
He trottled back to the bridge and looked above the edge, a large smile forming on his face.
"It's still there!', he almost shouted before climbing his way down, his feet gliding along the humid soil of the edge.
"News flash, a ER doctor from New York falls into a ridiculously small river and breaks his neck. Locals react shocked. "What the Fuck was he doing here?" More details in our evening edition", he joked to himself just before reaching the dam.
There was no real solid dam here, of course. But this was where Nick and him had built one decades ago. And there, on the bottom on the small river, for who knew what to look at, a line of heavy stones was bravely trying to cut the flow even if the water was blatantly ignoring its efforts. Kelly smiled bigger and lurked to watch it.
"That's crazy….", he muttered. A loud music suddenly echoed around him, almost making him lose his balance so close from the muddy edge of the river.
He cursed and pulled out his phone from his pocket. He grimaced as he saw the name of the caller on the screen.
"Fuck.".
He took the call, his free hand hanging from his knee, his fingers lazily caressing the top of the high grass surrounding him.
"Kelly? Kelly, are you there yet? You okay?"
A male voice resonated into his ear. One he didn't really want to hear anymore.
"Yeah. I'm fine. I'm almost there. I told you not to worry, remember?", he said calmly before picking up a small rock and throwing it in the river.
The man on the phone was a nurse from the ER. One that had told him months ago that he was looking for some company after the long hard shifts at work since their rythmn of life didn't let much space for getting out and dating. Flirting at work was risky as Kelly didn't want anyone to know his inclination for men. Not because he was ashamed as he had always assumed who he was and what he wanted. But because he didn't want to be 'that' doctor who was treated differently because he was gay.
His preferences had no influence on his work or his abilities and his private life was something he wanted to keep private.
The nurse had assured him all he wanted was sex without complications.
Now Kelly knew that the real meaning of that was more complications than sex. It had been fun at first. It was nice to have someone to go to to unwind and get rid of the stress and the frustration. Someone to hold and someone to be held by. But when the weekly 'I want you' booty call texts turned into daily 'I need you' ones, Kelly had pulled away.
He enjoyed being wanted. But being needed was a whole different level of intimacy he was not ready for.
"I know. I know. But you there in that shitty town full of haters is a good reason to worry, Kel.", the man said.
Kelly deadpanned and sighed loudly.
Once. Once he had drunk too much and told about the reason he had left his hometown. Of course he had to tell that to the only freaking guy who would remember every personal detail he was told. One who knew when to throw it into the conversation to show he knew.
"I'll be fine, Doug. I'm not a kid anymore. What do you want exactly?", he growled. He was aware this sounded cold but he had tried the nice way, the 'I'm, ignoring your calls' way and even the 'This is over so stop talking to me' way but nothing seemed to work.
Doug didn't want to let go and kept calling his /his/ guy.
But Kelly wasn't the type of guy to be owned by anybody.
Now he was starting to get annoyed by the stubborness of the man and even if he didn't want to sound like a jerk, it was clear this was the only option left.
A short silence answered him, followed by an offended huff.
"I just wanted to check on you, Kel. I do know you need no one. But I wanted you to know that I'm here if you need. So if you feel sad or…lonely...I have a few days of vacation over if you want me to...'
"No", Kelly interrupted him. "I don't need you. Not here. Not in New York. we talked about this. I'll be fine. Thank you for your concern. But stop calling me."He turned off his phone and stood up with the urge of throwing the damn phone into the water.
He grunted and made his way up back to the truck. He didn't need the stress right now.
He opened the passenger door and grabbed a bottle of water. Leaning against the truck, he opened it and took a gulp, eyes closed, trrying to relax again.
Yeah, no reason to hurry. He was just back in Hatersville where the boys play football and the men use their fists to make sure to keep the youth straight and polite.
He remembered that lesson all too well.
And it was too late to stop that memory.
It happened a few weeks after his seventeen birthday. He wanted to buy himself a truck so he could drive outside town more often. Even if Mrs Ollister had offered to go to town to see if they could find a second hand truck she could afford, he had refused. He knew she hadn't much and she had given him so much already that he had insisted to work after school to earn his own money.
Mr Seedlers had hired him to help at the local bar/restaurant/dancing (in this town, every place had slashes in their names and mutliple functions, it was /that/ kind of small town).
His work was to basically clean up the tables, wash the glasses, repair what needed to be fixed and take the trash outside. Mr Seedlers was a decent man. He always send Kelly home before the heavy drinking clients started to flood the place. Not because he was concerned about the kid, more because he knew Kelly had a smart mouth that many drunk dudes couldn't handle well.
Kellly was working well and hard. He didn't mind the heavy liftings or the dirty jobs. He was actually good company if you could deal nwith his sense of humor and sarcasm. Mr Seedlers knew that. He was trustful and honest, something the man could appreciate.
That night though, Kelly had been walking around with a weird feeling in his guts. He was feeling strangely agitated without knowing why.
The place was only half-crowded. A few guys from the school's football team were there, playing pool.
Some of the popular guys from school Kelly and Nick stayed away from because those guys were jerks. Kelly was good at sport but he wasn't interested by it at all, which was the worst crime you could committ around here.
Well, the second worse to be exact.
Bobby Briggs, Captain of the local team and the quarterback who was supposed to bring the cup home this very season was there too. A few times, Kelly had caught the football player staring at him while he was busy with moving beer craddles from the reserve to the counter, making the stock full for the night.
He thought he knew the reason for Briggs's sudden rise of attention. The week before, while he was having lunch on the schoolyard with Nick, Howie Addison, a pal of Briggs, had jumped on Kelly and asked him why he was flirting with his girlfriend. Kelly had laughed and pushed the guy away. The girl was just the one he had to do some stupid science project with and he had to spend the whole week with her at the library after class to work on it. She was a cheerleader. This was eenough punishment for him without having to deal with her boyfriend's jealousy on top of it.
When Howie had insisted, Kelly had shrugged, conscious that everybody was looking at them, expecting a fight. Howie was much bigger was him but Kelly knew he probably could take him just by being smarter. Which wasn't difficult.
He had winked at Nick before simply answering Howie that no, thanks. he wasn't interested by his girl. Or by any girl actually.
Of course it could have been enough. But something mischievous deep inside had pushed him to add that Howie had a nice ass now that he thought of it but that the lack of brain attached to it was making him unfuckable according to Kelly's very strict standards.
The commotion caused by the openly revelation and the provocation of the joke had been enough for Howie to punch him in the face and walk away like his ass was on fire.
As Kelly was rubbing his sore eye (that had been the most spectacular black eye of his life at this point since he wasn't aware he would get beaten up way more severely the week after), he had to face a stunned Nick with a hanging jaw.
"What?" he had said to his best friend. "I just told the truth.'
He had eaten half of his sandwich before Nick had finally recovered the ability to speak. "I'll make sure that will be what we'll put on your tombstone. 'I just told the truth'...You're suicidal', he had muttered. Kelly had laughed and shrugged the discussion away.
He had known how he felt about guys around his 13 and he had simply gone with it. He hadn't worried about it nor had he been living in fear to say it one day. But obviously it was harder for everyone else to accept what felt natural to him.
He remembered he had been relieved that Nick knew and was still around though. Since they were kids, Nick and him were spending most of their free time together. Building tree houses or space shuttles in the woods. Telling each other stories. Growing up making plans for the future, a future that would always involve them being together on adventure and, for some reason Kelly had forgotten about, surrounded by dogs. Nick had a thing for animals. Probably why he liked Kelly so much. Kelly remembered the skinny guy pretty well. His image was engraved in his memory. They were the same height which was handy when it came to borrow each other's clean clothes after an afternoon digging up treasures or building stuff. But outside of that, they were completely different. Kelly was a comedian, easy going and with the ability to come up with the craziest ideas. Nick was more a quiet dreamer, one who had given up on trying to reason Kelly about his crazy ideas, following him more by habit than by real conviction. Kelly knew how devoted to him the guy was and there was not much he wouldn't do for Nick either.
But that night, Nick wasn't there. And the way Bobby Briggs was looking at him, Kelly thought that he was going to pay for his radical honesty.
He had tried not to worry about it and to focus on his work.
Around midnight, Mr Seedlers had thanked him and asked him to take the trash out before going home. The place was getting full with locals who needed their Friday Night drinks. Fridays were always busy as it was the day before the football game.
As he exited the place, he could hear the laughs and the loud voices behind him, happy to shut them all up by closing the back door behind him.
The trash bags were heavy and he had to drag them behind the reserve before dumping them into the large dumpster.
He tensed as he felt someone being him and silently cursed at his stupidity. He had felt relieved too soon apparently. The night could still bring some trouble.
As expected, it was Bobby he found standing there behind him as he turned around. The guy was alone, which genuinely surprised Kelly. He had expected idiots to travel in pack.
Bobby was an attractive guy. Tall, dark hair, clear eyes…. but too full of himself to have real friends. He was the Captain of the team, assured of having a future everywhere football was a religion. So basically all over the damn country. He was always surrounded by the other players or by cheerleaders. And so far, he had always acted like he only aknowledged Kelly's existence when he needed to get some trouble. Kelly's smart mouth and the way he didn't give a damn about popularity seemed to particularly annoy the quarterback.
"Was it true?", Briggs asked in a low tone.
Kelly hesitated. Being a smart ass now wouldn't spare him the trouble. It wasn't worth it.
And he knew exactly what it was about.
He closed the dumpster and wiped his hands over the back of his pants.
"Yeah. It is. You have a problem with that?", he asked calmly.
"Don't fucking play me, Abbott', Briggs growled.
The quarterback was standing between him and the exit of the dark alley. Kelly cleared his throat and took a few steps forward, pretty sure Briggs wouldn't let him pass but determined to try.
"Oh so you know my name? Wow...I feel so special now.", he joked. He remembered how Nick had warned him that he should stop saying things that would explain his cause of death on his tombstone, that oneliners were less funny when they were the last thing someone had said before getting his ass kicked to death.
At that thought, Kelly had laughed before being shoved quite forcefully against the wall.
Well, Nick was right after all. His big mouth was about to send him to the hospital this time.
But before his brain could process what was happening, the quarterback kissed him fiercely.
He remembered how he had stood there, his hands up, while Bobby's started to be all over him, under his shirt and soon struggling to undo his pants.
Kelly was still too stupefied to react or even enjoy it at first. This was so unexpected that he was still wondering if this wasn't some kind of sick joke.
But Bobby had pulled away just enough to whisper against Kelly's swollen lips. "C'mon, babe. I know a place we can go. C'mon...Just you and me…" before kissing him again, his hand finding Kelly this time.
Kelly remembered how being called 'babe' by the most popular guy in the freaking town had finally pulled him out of his state of stupefaction. How he had thought that this indeed felt good….but it didn't feel right. He couldn't ignore the effect Bobby's hands and mouth on him made him react but this was just too weird to be real.
Obviously, Briggs was offering him sex in some place no one could see them...because it would be the end of his world if he got caught fucking a guy in a dirty alley.
But who was Kelly to refuse? Especially in a town where he so far had been convinced he was the only one of his...well, 'kind'.
He had kissed Briggs back and the quarterback had moaned. Oh gosh, that moan had literally echoed through the alley and given to Kelly the right motivation to go on. His hands had moved to the guy's shirt, clenching on it before turning them around. He pushed the quarterback against the wall and kissed him harder, encouraged by the guy's hands cupping and squeezing his ass.
Fuck the right feeling. He wanted to make this real. It was once thing to know you were into guys. It was another to have one right there, so close, /wanting/ you to prove it wasn't just words. Even if Briggs wasn't the one he wanted, Briggs was the one here with him, the one touching him in ways that could numb Kelly's mind enough to stop caring about the who and focus on the now.
"What the fuck is going on here?", a voice had pierced the silence around them as a man appeared in the end of the alley.
Obviously, the man was trying a place to take a piss and had found more than he expected. Briggs had panicked and cursed, pushing Kelly away as soon as he could, hard enough to send him against the other wall. He started to adjust his clothes, eyes down, cheeks burning red.
.
"Bobby? Bobby Briggs? What the hell, boy….", the man had cursed. "GUYS, COME OVER HERE", he yelled. Despite the darkness of the alley, Kelly had seen the panick and despair into the other guy's eyes.
He sighed and stayed where he was, his back against the wall, his eyes on the quarterback. He almost felt sorry for him before remembering that he should worry about himself more.
"Well….if that isn't that little piece of shit living with that ol'crazy Ollister woman…." Another man had appeared, flanked by another.
The first man shouted.
"And that's Briggs! That weasel was all over him, Sheriff!"
Kelly closed his eyes. This was going to get nasty. No one in town hated him more than the Sheriff O'Flaherty. Ever since he was a kid, Kelly had spent his time avoiding the man.
Which wasn't easy as he was his best friend's father.
The sheriff came to stand between him and Briggs.
"Bobby….you shouldn't be here. Big game tomorrow...let me guess. This little failure made you drink, huh? Then he dragged you here? You can have all the girls you want, Bobby. That one...is too ugly to be caught with. Cuz that's what you are, Abbott, right? A freaking ugly whore. Without balls."
Before Kelly could move, the sheriff had grabbed his shoulders and kicked him between the legs with his knees, so hard all the air left Kelly's lungs and red spots started to dance in front of his eyes when the pain washed over him.
The sheriff shoved him back against the wall and growled.
"Bobby, get the fuck out of here. You've never been there, ya hear me? Don't make me tell your dad what your type is...Or he will ask me to cure you. Like I'm gonna cure this one as well."
Bobby had glanced toward Kelly and their eyes had met. Kelly didn't expect him to stand up for him. After all, Bobby was the town's little treasure. Kelly was just….Kelly.
Both of them knew that what was going to happen was unavoidable anyway. But the quarterback seemed to hesitate, his eyes darting from one man to another. Like he had enough common sense to think that three against one was a guaranted slaughter. Kelly read it in the way he was moving from one foot to another. Was he considering raising the score to three against two? This would only make things worse. Kelly knew that.
'..' was nice….talking to you….", Kelly had stuttered between two waves of pain. Their eyes met again and Kelly shook his head once. "Go', he mouthed. Like it was all Briggs was waiting for, the player turned away from Kelly.
He saw Briggs running away. Out of the alley. And out of his life.
Kelly had no idea what had happened to him after that. Because that night had been the last he ever spent in Charity.
The 'correction' had been severe. Brutal.
At the end of it, there was no spot, no muscle, no bone that didn't hurt. He had been left there, in the alley, bleeding and coughing. The pieces of glass from a broken beer bottle so deep into the skin of his chest that he could feel them whe he managed to take a breath, the broken ribs making him regret he could still inhale the filthy air.
Unconsciously, Kelly's hand flew toward the old scars on his side, the ones he could feel under his shirt. That night had stayed with him forever. Maybe he had managed to keep that memory locked but the scars on his skin hadd been daily silent reminders of it. He had simply trained himself to stop looking at them. They were a part of him but one that never got a voice.
The three men had left him there, leaving him behind probably feeling satisfied and proud of themselves. The sheriff had announced that they all deserved a beer or two now that they had taught the faggott the lesson he had to learn.
They had even gotten him silent at some point. And that was the only thing Kelly regretted. He wished he had yelled more. Told them what they were. Betrayed what was happening in the back alley to show people who they really were. But nobody wanted to hear.
And nobody bloody cared.
It was Mr Seedlers who had found him there a few hours later. Mrs Ollister had alerted him by telling him that Kelly wasn't home. She had woken up in the very early hours of the morning as always and as always she had checked on him only to find an empty bed, sign that something was up.
No matter what mischief Kelly and Nick were working on, Kelly always made sure to be back in bed before she checked. So she knew that something was up. She had called Seedlers at his home and insisted the man looked for him.
It was him who brought Kelly home, him who had to endure Mrs Ollister's pressed lips and trembling anger as he helped to put Kelly in bed. Him who had called the twon doctor.
They had taken care of his wounds and she forced him to tell her what had happened.
And he had. After the doctor left.
He never mentioned Briggs though. Not to protect him. But because it would only make things worse. The sheriff hadn't been out to get gays. He had been out to get /him/. To give him the correction he thought he needed for years. And for what? For being different? For being too close to Nick? Kelly had never known. In his opinion, the sheriff only needed someone to hate and in his bad luck, Kelly had been the chosen one.
She had promised not to make a scene at the sheriff's home but only at the condition that he'd leave town, to spend his recovery at her nephew's home, a retired fireman from New York.
At first, Kelly had thought that she was repudiating him. But when he saw her tears, he had understood.
She wanted to protect him. She knew.
Knew that once the violence starts, it never ends. That the next time, he might not be able to breathe at all.
And with a heavy heart, he had accepted. He didn't want her to live in the fear that he had met his end in another alley. Not after all the sacrifices she had made for him. He knew he wouldn't be able to change enough to avoid troubles. Because so far, he had been in trouble only by being himself. There was no correcting that.
Later that day, a concerned Nick had showed up at the house while Kelly, sitting on his bed, his back against the wall, holding his chest with the one arm that wasn't broken, was watching Mrs Ollister pack his belongs with an empty look. He had heard his father talk about a correction and he had known immediatly who had been injured. Nick had always feared that day, the day his father would get his hands on Kelly. The sheriff had never raised a hand on his own son but nevertheless, his son knew more than anyone how much rage and violence was crawling under his father's skin, a rage that Kelly seemed to suscite by just breathing. And here he was devastated, covering his mouth every time he would spot another wound, another blue mark on his best friend.
Kelly sighed and wiped a tear away from his cheek before staring at it drying on his hand with a surprised look. How long had he kept this memory away? How long had he pretended he had forgotten?
His best friend had asked him to stay. Apologized for his father's brutality. Promised to protect him better.
Kelly wasn't mad at him though. The widow and Nick were the only two persons he truly loved in this world. And one of them would never be aware of that.
Mrs Ollister had left the room silently as she knew Kelly had to say goodbye. And that Nick wouldn't want to hear that goodbye no matter what. He had reassured Nick that he would be okay, that it wasn't Nick's job to protect him. But nothing he said could soothe his friend's pain and seeing him trembling without being able to comfort him had hurt Kelly more than all the sores and aches he was feeling back then.
So Kelly had done the only thing he could think of. As Nick was sitting next to him, craddling his head in his hands, Kelly had watched him like it was the last time he would see him. He had that devastating feeling that it wasn't just an impression.
He had managed to get up only to see through the window of his bedroom Mrs Ollister placing his bag into Mr Seedlers's truck as the man had accepted to drive him to the train station. Kelly had no idea how he was supposed to survive such a long way alone, not with his body begging for him to stop moving and a headache that was maybe just a sign his brain was trying to take an unnatural direction. He had been tempted to ask Nick to come with him. To leave this shitty place behind them. But Nick had a family here. He had a life here.
A life Kelly would never be involved with because his father would never allow it.
Kelly had asked Nick to get up. Nick had complied, looking down. Kelly had made him look at him by placing his index under the guy's chin. And without another word, he had kissed him. Carefully at first because he wouldn't survive another beating. More tenderly as Nick didn't fight it. Kelly had made that kiss last as long as he could, not too long either as he was scared Nick would pull away first. How it would have been hurtful to see a disgusted grin on that boy's face. But poor Nick hadn't moved. He was probably too overwhelmed and shocked to react properly. When Kelly pulled away, Nick's eyes were closed and Kelly didn't ask him to open them. Who knew if Kelly had been to leave if Nick had opened his eyes at this moment and asked him again to stay?
Kelly wasn't sure that kiss had been a good idea.
But he needed that. To take that with him. The thought and the memory of that one kiss with the taste of a life he couldn't afford. And that kiss….it felt good AND right. So right it broke Kelly's heart.
Nick still hadn't moved when Kelly had stepped back and as far as Kelly knew, he was still standing there in the middle of the room when Kelly had climbed into the truck after a last hug of Mrs Ollister.
Kelly rolled his head back and leaned the back of it against the cold metal of the truck. He stared at the grey sky while waiting for the memories to fade away.
"What am I doing here?", he asked the clouds.
Now Mrs Ollister wasn't here anymore and Nick….God, he was hoping Nick had managed to escaped Charity at some point. That he was happy far away from here.
Meaning that there would be no one to welcome him back to Hatersville.
He sighed again and climbed on the drivers seat..
He glanced at the letter again. All he had to do was to sort out all the belongs of the widow, to make sure all her treasures go to people who would take care of them. To find a realtor to sell the house. He had already decided to donate the money to some organization busy with foster kids. He had been one of them after all. One lucky enough to be raised by an adorable and kind hearted old lady. He had finally taken the three weeks of vacation the hospital had been trying to give to him for ages. If he managed to do everything he had to do in town fast enough, he could maybe drive all the way to the Grand Canyon and stay there for a few days. Maybe a week. Some hiking and time to bury the memories of his past life in a honorable way would be all he needed before going back to his new life, away from this place.
This would be the last good bye he would ever made in Charity. And he intended to never come back in this cursed place ever again after that.
"After that, you can wipe the damn town from any map for what I care", he muttered as he started the engine.
It took him another half a hour to reach the town. He didn't have the time to stop by Mrs Ollister's house so he drove directly to the cemetary and parked the car in a nearby street. His throat was tightened and he wasn't sure it was only sadeness. Being here, back in Charity was harder than he had imagined.
He got out of the truck and looked around. The main buildings were still the same, only the shops had changed. The trees in front of the school were gone, replaced by a large park. There was a massive mall trying to hide behind the church. The rest was pretty much the same.
He walked toward the back of the truck and opened his bag. He pulled out a white shirt, still packed in plastic, that he unwrapped slowly. He pulled off his tee-shirt and threw it in the back of the truck before putting on the dressed shirt, adjusting the sleeves with infinite care. It took him more time to put on the tie though. That was something he would never wear. But Mrs Ollister had always insisted he would wear one at church so he couldn't possibly skip it. He opened the suit bag to take out his suit jacket carefully and checked his reflection in the closest shop window he found. That should do it, he thought.
He turned off his phone and shoved it into the pocket of his pants then, with a sigh, he turned toward the cemetary next to the church. There was a small crowd in front of it already and he walked toward it while scanning the faces. He couldn't recognize anybody yet and that was a real relief. Just before he joined the people, they started to enter the cemetary to go stand around a gravehole and a white coffin covered in flowers was waiting next to it. On top of it, there was one white and black picture and beyond the grave, Mrs Ollister was smiling at him, welcoming home one last time.
He stopped thinking about the people there and walked straight toward the coffin. The tears in his eyes were threatening to escape but he took a deep breathe and smiled back at the picture. He placed his hand flat against the top on the coffin, ignoring the curious look of the preacher on the other side of it.
"Hey, Momsy…", he whispered. "Love you."
He closed his eyes to imagine her saying "Love you more" like she used to and did every time at the end of their weekly call. He sighed sadly and opened his eyes again before stepping back and going to sit on the first row next to the man he recognized as Mrs Ollister's lawyer. The man leaned in to say something but Kelly shook his head. He didn't want to talk now. He wanted to stay silent. Mostly because he was really about to cry like a kid.
He was an orphan now. That was how he felt. An orphan surrounded by strangers.
The ceremony went slowly and he barely heard the words is the preacher anyway. Instead, he was staring at the coffin and remembering all he could, suddenly afraid to forget something important or anything at all.
He could feel eyes on him but he didn't care. He wasn't here for anybody but her.
At the end, they all got up and went one by one touch the coffin to say goodbye until he was the last one there outside the gravediggers and the lawyer.
The man sensed that Kelly wasn't ready to have a conversation so he told him that they would meet the next day at the house. Kelly gave him a nod and felt the man slide keys into his hand.
He lowered his gaze and recognized the keychain. It was the one he had given her the day of his graduation at the med school in NY, the emblem of the university. She had kept it all this time. He could imagine the keys hanging next to the door where she would always put them, where she could see them from the old leather couch. They keychain was old and rusty but still, the thought of her cherishing such a stupid little thing just because /he/ had given it to her achieved to destroy the last remains of his bravery and he started to cry silently.
Only the soft trembling of his shoulders and his hand above his eyes could betray him right now if anyone was looking. He cried until he felt just a little better and got up, his shaky legs rebelling for a bit before obeying. He walked to the coffin again and placed a kiss on his fingers before running them over the picture.
"Thank you….thank you for all you did for me. For the love. The pies. The support. For being my home. My family. I wouldn never be where I am now if you hadn't been there. Good bye. Rest in peace….and keep watching over me, yeah? With a guardian angel like you, I should be just fine. Just….don't leave me completely. You're the only family I ever had."
He stood there a little longer before exhaling longly. Then he nodded toward the gravediggers and turned away to walk toward the gates.
He passed them without looking back and noticed a few people hanging around in front of them. One of them, an older man, stared at him for a moment and he mumbled something he couldn't hear. A giant guy next to him nodded politely toward Kelly and Kelly frowned slightly before nodding back. the frown didn't leave his face as he walked away.
Well, that was weird. Somehow, the stares and the nods were creepier than the rain of stones and insults he had expected. Maybe the lawyer had put something in the water. A calmative. Or a laxative. For what he cared. He stopped next to his truck and looked back. The men were now walking toward the restaurant next to the church where Kelly supposed the old women of the town had made coffee and pies for everybody attending the funerals.
Only the giant….Kelly couldn't help but wonder what the hell they had been feeding this one with...seemed to follow reluctanctly. He saw him holding the door for the men and looking back at him again.
"Yeah…..", Kelly muttered. "No need to wait for me, Bigfoot, I'm not going in there. I am quite attached to my limbs, thanks a lot", he added to himself before pulling on his tie. He threw it in the truck and looked around him for a bar. He needed a drink. Or five.
He spotted one at the corner of the street and walked toward it while taking his phone and turning it on.
Three missed calls. Doug. Doug..and Doug.
He scowled and rolled his eyes before putting the phone back inside his pocket.
Well, make it six drinks after all.
Playing with the house keys in one hand, his thumb rolling over and over the keychain, he reached the bar and walked in, standing at the entrance for a minute to give his eyes the time to adjust.
The place was dark and outside the bartender, there was no one else.
"Well, well, well….if it isn't Charity's surprise 'Welcome Back, Kelly' party comittee….", he commented.
The bartender looked at him and arched a brow.
"Excuse me?", the man asked.
Kelly chuckled and waved at the empty room. "Don't mind me, I was just saluting the crowd and trying to avoid the confettis." He made his way to the counter and settled on one of the stools.
"Bourbon, please. Make it double."
He took off his jacket and placed it on the stool next to him before leaning on the counter, his hands in front of him, the keys between them. Then he allowed himself to breathe more calmly.
Kelly Abbott was back in Charity.
What could go possibly go wrong?
He was sure not to want to know the answer to that question.