Gou looked in front of the full mirror with a disappointed frown. Gou was going to her first prom after the students voted it for the school festival. Of course Gou was excited of the prospect of attending her first party in school, especially since she has gotten into a relationship. Kou desired everything to be perfect for her date and herself. She, the organizing chief she was, underwent twelve shopping malls for her peach-colored dress, her hair and makeup had been done by professionals and the corsage for her partner came in tonight as scheduled.
But none of it mattered because she was anxious of her peers seeing her with Chigusa as her girlfriend. Gou remembered all her friends confiding and encouraging her to take the next step in going public, but it wasn't the same with Rin and Haruka or with Rei and Nagisa.
They're confident, more confident than me, Gou hesitated biting her bottom lip at the self-depraving thought. Her girlfriend had fears of this going wrong, too, but she pushed it aside with confidence and convinced Gou to go through it. Gou desperately wanted to believe her dear love's words, yet the shaking fear grew stronger in every terrible thought as she suddenly found herself pacing around her room, biting inside her cheek with drowning negative thoughts.
Then, there was a knock on the door.
"Kou, are you ready yet?" Her brother, Rin, asked.
"N-not yet..." Gou muttered. She cursed herself in silence at the mutter because she knew Rin would overreact.
"Is something wrong? Did your hair get caught in the iron thingy?" And now he's paranoid. Great job, Gou, you screw up.
"It's a curling iron," Kou corrected him, "and no, I had my hair done!"
"Then what's the holdup?"
Gou flung her hands in the air, becoming increasingly agitated. "Go away!" She snapped.
Her doorknob rattled like a rattle snake's tail, "I'm breaking this door if you don't open it!"
"Fine!" Gou shouted, crossing her arms and moving toward her bed when-
BANG!
"Rin!" Gou shrieked apprehensively. Her eyes glued in fear of the door breaking down by Rin eccentric behavior. He may call this brotherly love, but this was down right crazy and unnecessary.
BANG!
"Dude, this isn't funny, stop!"
"Not-" BANG! "until" BANG! "you tell me" BANG! "what's wrong!" BANG! "Ah, shit!"
"How are you not tired?"
"I'm..." Gou heard Rin's tired breaths as she tipped toed over to the door. "Just open the door!"
Gou only took three seconds into staring at the door, but her mind felt like it had gone through the past hour contemplating whether or not she should let him in. It wasn't just into her room, it would also be her personal struggling fears over everything. She hadn't talked about this to anyone and had kept it all inside so naturally, anxiety and stress had built up like loaded bricks onto her back for a treacherous journey to a never ending cycle of fears.
If I do this, I could worry him...
But in her heart, she knew he would understand.
Gou took the doorknob, her palm coated it with her nervous sweat and with one twist opened the door. The first sight she had saw on Rin was his sweaty face, all flushed red and his mouth parted, giving him easier access of air for his lungs.
Rin combed his hair back with his fingers, "So..." he panted, "...ha, ready to talk?"
Gou nodded, stepping away from the door and allowed Rin access. Rin stumbled in like a dazed drunk yet he managed to get onto her bed, much to her silent protest as it was already clean up, and patted the empty space beside him Once Gou sat down, Gou spoke first.
"Rin...remember when you told me you liked Haruka romantically?" Rin nodded and Gou cleared her throat with a nervous chuckle. "Well, even though I told everyone about me and Chigusa, I'm having...bad thoughts."
"Thoughts of everyone judging you?"
Gou nodded and looked at the clock by her desk. It was close to eight o'clock as the sounds of its ticking grew louder with every second passing. Gou knew by fifteen minutes, Chigusa will arrive, expecting Rin and Gou for their double date.
"Listen, people...they're assholes. You're gonna meet some who don't honestly accept you for who you are. Everyone is angry at people being honest because they can't be true themselves. When I came out, I had the idea that everyone will get upset. And you know what happened? Some actually did. Not everyone believed I'm gay, or that I like guys. They thought I was making fag jokes but when I told them again, they got pretty pissed.
"Long story short, I don't associate with them anymore," Rin said, looking down at his clutched fists.
Gou remembered what happened. She had tended his bruises and cuts when he came home one late afternoon. Gou nearly had a heart attack seeing her brother like that but she kept her mission to aid him her propriety and got him fixed up the best she could. Some of the swimming mates from the club in his old school got violent after Rin's coming out announcement and attacked him when he was alone in the locker rooms. But Rin got the best out of it, having them expelled from the club and school and getting a few punches on those bastards.
"The thing is though, I used violence rather than my head to get through who I am. In the end I got out alive but it made me realize no one is always going to accept you."
"This...isn't really helping my anxiety," Gou confessed under a whisper.
"I know," Rin said, taking a slow and careful arm around her and kissed her temple. "I'm just trying to tell you it'll suck when no one accepts you. But guess what? You have us!" Gou saw the proud, flashy grin pressed on Rin's face. "Me, Haru, Iwatobi Swim team, and Chigusa who would do everything in her power to be by your side and face the hate."
Gou stared at her grinning brother with fleeting skepticism as the growing hope inside boiled at the thought of Chigusa holding her hand, strong and unafraid. Rin had made everything sound so much better with his pep talk. Gou realized although it is true no one will be accepting her all the time, she has her friends who are not going to back down on protecting their family. Gou smiled at her brother who raised his hand for her head to pet but halted a second, leaving his hand awkwardly in the air until Gou high-fived it with a chuckle.
"Feeling a little better?"
"A bit, yeah,"
Rin nodded in approval. Then, a doorbell rung through the house indicating someone at the door.
Raising himself up and patting his pants so they weren't wrinkled, he moves out of Gou's room. Now alone, her mind wasn't overly contemplating every worse case scenario but rather the exciting time she will have tonight with her girlfriend. With a deep breath, she pulled herself up, steps out of her room and goes downstairs where she saw Haruka fitting a corsage on Rin's suit...
And Chigusa, watching her with tender eyes as Gou took the last two steps and stood with her head held up high. The girls were briefly staring into each other's eyes when Rin coughed the moment off. Gou's eyes glared at her brother who bit his bottom lip as he stifled his giggling while Haruka rolled his eyes at his boyfriend.
Chigusa stepped forward to Gou, presenting her a corsage and said, "I hope you like it."
As Chigusa fumbled with the accessory on Gou's wrist, Gou replied, "I do, I love it."
"Are we ready?" Haruka asked.
Everyone nodded. Haruka opened the door, letting Rin, Chigusa and Gou out of the door before stepping out himself and locking the house with his spare key. As Chigusa held her hand, pulling her to the car, Gou saw the sky was dark as Chigusa's black prom dress-except the stars glittered brilliantly tonight.
Chigusa and Gou were in the car when Gou whispered in Chigusa's ear...
"I love you." Gou whispered, tightening her grip on her girlfriend's hand.
"I love you, too." Chigusa whispered back.
And with that, they were driven off to prom. Never letting go of each other's hands.
