Remember How We Forgot

"I have a staff meeting tomorrow morning, then surgery at nine with Grey and then another at four. I'll come home, eat, maybe have a roll in the sack with you and then go to sleep, peacefully, wake up and start the whole thing over again," Miranda said quickly without taking a breath. She was lying in bed with her husband, Ben. And they were going over their schedules for the next day. She pulled off her robe, tossed it to the chair in the corner and looked at Ben whose face revealed a raised eyebrow. "What's with the high brow, Benjamin Warren?"

"Aren't you forgetting something, Miranda Bailey?" Ben asked, standing up and revealing his nearly six-foot frame. He walked away from his wife to his dresser. He slipped into a black t-shirt.

"Am I?" He looked at her again. She fell back on the bed. "I don't get your face riddles. Speak."

"Where in that agenda did you make time for your son, Chief?" Ben came back to the bed. Miranda pulled her lips in. Damn it! She felt like she'd been forgetting something—or someone. Tuck, her only child, was her pride and joy. At eleven, he was so smart and level-headed that it was almost like he was already a teenager. She could leave him on his own for an hour or two and not worry about the house being burnt down. Since she'd become Chief of Surgery at Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital, she'd unconsciously ignored him. Now she was ashamed. "You guys haven't spent much time together lately."

"We haven't been spending time with him, have we?"

"No, no, no, no, no," he laughed and shook his head. "I have been spending time with Tuck. We hang out all of the time. You're the busy one."

"Does he…?"

"Yeah, he does. He asks. I make excuses."

Miranda's hands went to her face. She had been trying to give him privacy, but she ended up distancing herself from the preteen. "Oh my God, I am awful."

He touched her hands. "You're not. You're the boss and being the boss is tough and time-consuming, but you have to remember that you have a son that is growing up and you really don't want to miss that, do you?" She shook her head near tears. He saw her red eyes and pulled her in for a hug. Instantly, she calmed down. "Don't be so hard on yourself. Just take some time—a small vacation."

"I just became the chief, I can't take time off."

"It's been a year. I think you've earned it." Miranda took a deep breath. She had earned it, but what she'd earned more was the chance to be a mother and a chief, not having to compromise either. She moved herself from Ben's arms. "Where are you going?"

Miranda ignored him. She grabbed her robe and walked down the hall to her son's room. Music was playing and she started to open the door without knocking, but she stopped herself. A few taps on the door brought the boy face to face with her. "Mom?" He asked. And her heart melted. He'd stolen it from the moment he was placed in her arms. "What's up?"

"Can I… come in?" When was the last time they had a real conversation or even spent some time together?

"Yes!" He said moving out of the way. Even at such a young age, he was already taller than she was, but that was no surprise, his father was over six feet. Miranda stepped inside of the room. Blue was on the walls and a blue, black and white comforter lay on the bed. Some clothes were strewn all over place. It was as she expected. Messy, but not unlivable.

"So, how are you?"

"I'm okay." Tuck flopped down on his bed. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah. Y-no, everything is cool," she said gesturing. "I just wanted to see what you were up to?"

The son checked his phone. "It's 11 o'clock at night."

"Speaking of that, why are up?" She said putting her hands on her hips.

Tuck laughed. "No school tomorrow. Staff Development."

"Oh," Miranda said. How did she not know that? Ben probably knew. And he probably knew what they were going to do with Tuck. Was he going to his father's house or to a friend's house or to the rec for a few hours?

Tuck read the confusion on her face. "I'm going to the rec in the morning for a swimming class and then dad's going to come and get me and I'll go to his house and then Mrs. Larkins is picking me up for Keon's birthday party."

She was too far out of the loop. "I didn't know that."

"I know," he muttered. Miranda could feel her heart pounding in her chest. "I mean, Ben explained to me that you were busy and stuff. I knew when you were chief that things were going to change, so it's okay."

She exhaled and moved next to him on the bed. She looked into his brown eyes. Her brown eyes. "No, it's not. I haven't been around. I've been absent, but that's all going to change. Because I never want us at this point again."

"How? You're always at the hospital. You don't come to my games anymore. My friends don't come over here. They can't come over. No one's here." The anger he'd been holding in came flowing out. He sat up and played with his comforter, tears were forming in his eyes. "I'm mostly in here, watching TV and movies. Or at dad's house with Jaida and the baby." He rolled his eyes. Her ex-husband, Tucker, had recently had a baby with his wife and Tuck was still adjusting.

"I'm s-sorry, Tuck. I—"

Tuck cut her off. "You promised it wouldn't be like this. You promised that I would always be first and I'm not. I d-d-don't like this." He was crying real tears now. He might get as tall as his father and was just as athletic, but he had his mother's spirit and sensitivity.

She pulled him in for a hug. "I am so sorry, baby." He cried into her robe. "So sorry. I will change this. I promise."

He nodded. "I've heard that before."

"This weekend—just the two of us. No hospital, no Ben, no dad, just us. William George and his momma," she said laughing.

"Mo-ooooom!" Tuck growled, chuckling. "Not even my teachers call me that."

"Good thing I'm not your teacher." She kissed his forehead. "You're okay?"

"Yes. Are you?"

She nodded. "I will be. Once I know that you're not feeling…" She searched for the right word.

"Neglected?" Miranda cringed. Was she the working mother who neglected her child? Good Lord. "We just learned that word this week."

"See! I should know that. I should be helping you with your homework and all of that."

"Nooooo! Ben does. He's more… patient that you are." Miranda tickled her son and he giggled loudly. Was he really eleven? His laugh transported her back to when he was five and thought elves turned off the light in the refrigerator. "Okaaaay!"

She smiled. "Okay," she said. Miranda stood up and walked toward the door. "Now, go to bed."

"But—" She turned around glared at him. "Good night."

She flipped the light switch, making the room dark. "Good night." She blew him a kiss and walked out of the room.