Monica
This feels a little weird. I'm not much of a writer. But I guess I'm writing this because, even after everything, you're really the only other person I can tell this to, even if you won't ever get these.
I feel a bit alone at the moment. I can't talk to Lip. He's going through his own shit at the moment with Karen, and the baby that isn't his. I wouldn't go to Frank if you paid me, even if he would forget. And Fiona? I guess this sort of involves her, so I can't really go to her either.
I think the one person I would normally tell is Mandy, but she doesn't even know about me and Mickey. If she did, she'd probably kick my ass for not telling her before. Or for sleeping with her brother. Or for sleeping with someone else while her brother is locked up because of me.
So that only leaves you and I just have stuff I need to get off my chest. You remember how I told you about Mickey, right? How I'm kind of the reason he went back to juvie? Well I went back to that club you took me to that night, to help me get over him. Turns out you were right. I got picked up really quick. (Apparently, I'm what they call a twink.) And now I'm sort of seeing this guy. He's nice. He's a doctor. But I also found out he's Jimmy's dad. (Oh Jimmy is Steve by the way. That's a long story)
So he's married and has kids. He even said to me that he's not gay. What the fuck? So I don't know what to do. Whether or not to tell Fiona.
And is it weird that I feel bad about Mickey too? I mean, I feel guilty even though he's the one that ended it. I don't know. I guess I love him. (That's the first time I've said that) So it makes sense right? The guilt?
Well. I hope you're back on your meds and doing okay.
Ian.