She is late getting to the office for her third day as Captain of the Twelfth as she needed to go to hospital for proper stitches on her wound. Of course it is really her first full day on the job since she spent the better part of the first two days on the run, fighting for her life.
So she's late.
And her outfit is a little creased from where she had thrown it into the bag last night.
The coffee in her hand tastes terrible, and worse, is now cold.
Entering the homicide floor, she nods and acknowledges a number of officers. His words of just last night hollow in her head and heart.
Her former partners are there. Espo at her old desk. Beside him an empty space. Rick's chair no longer in its familiar place. The sting bites worse than the throb from the local on her stomach for her new stitches.
The greeting she gets from Ryan and Esposito is flat, and her one hope for some solace and support this morning is vanquished already.
Do they know? So soon? She hadn't expected it to remain a secret. But it is less than twenty-four hours.
Deciding not to address them, she gives a slight shake to her head and she makes a beeline for her office and sanctuary. And the paperwork.
Turns out their looks were about something else.
Deputy Chief Gates is sat back in her former chair.
Waiting for her replacement.
"Captain Beckett. How nice of you to actually turn up to manage your precinct."
"Deputy Chief…"
"Sit. I am not done yet." So she sits. On Rick's chair relocated from its previous resting spot.
"You are officially on sick leave. One week."
"But Sir." She cannot help the wince even as she stands to protest. The fresh stitches another testament to her latest battles, but at least the scar will fade. Other wounds may never heal.
"No buts. You were shot Beckett. The medics recommend a week's convalescence along with the 2 remaining outpatient visits. Don't look so surprised, there is procedure for this. Everything gets reported. Eventually."
"Yes Sir." She grits out in acceptance.
"Whilst you are absent Yancy will come across to manage the Precinct."
"Sir." Nothing more she can say to the prospect of one of her immediate rivals being given command of her precinct.
"Well I wish I could say I am surprised Kate."
"You are throwing it all away again. Another headlong rush into a case where you lose perspective and your judgement is faulty."
"Sir…I" The glare silences her.
"Whilst you are on sick leave I want you to consider your position very carefully.
"Whatever this is about, it has cost the lives of multiple federal agents. Your own precinct shot up, fellow officers, members of your team, injured by an assassin. The press is all over this. Not least because of your aborted TV interview that you used to lure the killers out. The butcher's bill is at least seven dead federal agents, not to mention an unknown number of assassins, the exact number we'll never know as some of the bodies have conveniently disappeared. For once the press screaming cover up and conspiracy isn't one of Mister Castle far fetched ideas.
"What were you thinking?"
"No, don't answer that. I do not want to know. I will not accept any explanation for the gross dereliction of duty and misjudgement you have displayed.
"Just be grateful that with the glare of publicity and your apparent heroism…well it has temporarily put a bar on any disciplinary action."
Beckett starts at that. She instinctively choose the right thing. And they want to penalize her? More than she was already punishing herself.
"You were supposed to be a NYPD Captain. And you are meant to have acted like one. You should have called it in. Rallied your teams and called for backup. You do not go on the run, flee crime scenes, strong arm innocents so you can improvise first aid for a gunshot wound. All on your first day. You never even reported in."
"Kate, you made me look a fool. I assured them that you could be trusted. That you were ready. I recommended you."
"You have made some astoundingly bad choices."
She can only nod.
"When return you will be on probation. And subject to additional supervision and support beyond the usual offered to new captains. In meantime, take the time off and work out what it really you want Kate."
Gates rises and heads for the office door.
"This wasn't the way I wanted to come back to the Twelfth. Now go spend time with your husband."
If only she could.
"Hi Dad."
"Katie?"
"Can I come in?"
He takes one look at the bag in her hand, and then her face before ushering her inside. "Why aren't you with Rick?"
"I can't."
"Oh what have you done Katie?"
"I don't know."
He lets her stay.
The week passes interminably.
After the third night she checks in to a hotel. Her father's quiet disappointment too much to bear.
The wound in her side heals slowly. Her new badge mocking her from the bedside table.
Everyone that matters finds out what she had done.
Their silence hurts but not the most.
She doesn't hear from Rick at all.