Sam zipped up his duffel bag.
"Are you sure that's all?" Dean's voice soinded after what seemed like hours of silence.
"Yes..." Sam's eyes were fixed on the blue bag.
Dean got off the bed and folded his arms on his chest. "So... I'll drive you to the station and-"
"Is that all you have to say?"
Dean was staring off into the middle distance, but Sam grabbed his chin and forced him to make eye contact.
This was all happening so fast...
Sam and dad were always fighting, but that night... it was different. It was more intense than ever.
All he could do, was stand there and watch. He didn't interfere, he didn't take anybody's side.
He always knew their dad could be harsh, but that night... every word he spoke hurt more than the last...
He always knew his little brother needed a normal life. He just hadn't realised so far exactly how much Sam needed it...
The youngest Winchester ran upstairs, to the room he shared with Dean, while their dad fell on the couch, hiding his face in his palms.
Dean simply stood there, completely silent for a few minutes before quietly making his way to his bedroom.
Sam was sitting on his bed, hugging his knees, with his back resting on the pillows. Dean didn't get the chance to speak; Sam dragged him on the bed, capturing his lips in his own, leading him in a passionate kiss. "I need you..." was his soundless scream.
Dean let himself go in his arms, while the younger boy's lips were exploring every part of his body.
For the rest of the night, they didn't speak a word. They simply lay there, holding, kissing, travelling in each other's eyes... trying to withhold the urge to scream each other's names, as they were giving in the passionate pleasure.
It was the following morning when Dean finally decided he couldn't postpone this conversation any longer.
Both him and dad knew Sam had been accepted to Stanford university; dad was still wondering why hadn't Sam announced that he was leaving yet.
What could possibly be holding him back, when his chance for a normal life was right there, winking at him?
"Let's go together..." Sam whispered. "Lead normal lives, far away from everything else..."
"I can't... I can't leave dad behind..." Dean responded, his fingers tangled in his lover's hair.
"I can't go without you..."
Twenty minutes later, Sam was standing away from the bed, crying and screaming at him. Dean couldn't believe the lies that were coming out of his own mouth, but this was the only way...
He was holding him back. He was the only obstacle between Sam and the life he always dreamt off. Safe, normal... fullfilling. If the only way to push Sam to this direction was to drag his unwilling, kicking and screaming self out of the way, that was what he would do.
Even though watching those beautiful eyes filled with tears was the most painful thing...
"Dean, I need you and you need me, we are-"
"I don't, Sam. I don't need you."
Sam crushed his lips on Dean's, pinning him on the wall. Dean knew he should push him away, but his body was betraying him.
"You don't want me to go... You need me just like I need you..." Sam's breath was caressing his lips.
Dean pushed him away softly.
Dean had his eyes fixed on the bus display board that read "California".
"It's leaving in twenty minutes. You should hurry."
Sam examined his face with his eyes. "So, this is it..." he said coldly.
"That bus right there is your gateway to everything you always wanted. Now, when you get to-"
He was interrupted, as Sam found his lips and locked them in a bittersweet kiss.
Dean broke the kiss abruptly. "Go." he said.
Go, before I lock you in the car and keep you in my arms until the earth stops spinning.
"Dean-"
"Please..." he whispered, lowering his head.
Sam got out of the car, taking his duffel bag from the back seat. He didn't spare another look for his best friend, brother... and lover.
Dean followed his brother with his eyes, while he bought his ticket and got in the bus.
As the big vehicle started moving, Dean closed his eyes, holding back the tears and the scream that was trying to escape his throat.
I need you, Sam. I need you to be happy, to be safe, to have everything you deserve.
I need to understand... you're better off without me...
He opened the door, to see his father hidden behind a newspaper.
"Everything good?" John Winchester asked, as Dean threw his keys on the couch.
"Sure." If wanting to curl up on the bed that still held his scent and cry like a baby is considered "good", then yes, he was amazing. "What are you reading?"
"A series of mysterious murders in Jacksonville. Victims look like they were mauled by some sort of big animal, something resembling a bear. One terrified man who survived the attack and won't leave his house speaks about monsters..." he met his son's gaze.
Dean shook his head. "Next stop, Jacksonville."