gA: Wooh, Tantei S is back under a new name! Yeah, a lot of things are changed when they're human (ex: Sollux/Sage doesn't wear glasses). Which troll each person is should be somewhat obvious, except for maybe Oliver (Vriska) because "his" personality is a lot different than "hers". Three trolls are not turned into humans, and out of the humanized trolls, only one is not genderbent. Guess who?

Note: The first italicized part, starting with "There's something I'm never going to understand" and ending with "heh" is not a dream sequence, but a memory. Think of it as a prologue, setting things up in the chapter somewhat. Katarina has no memory of it happening. If it's in the middle of the chapter, however, and Katarina directly states that she heard it or dreamt it, then it's in her memory. Whether she fully remembers it or not is something completely different.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Homestuck, and I don't want to. Andrew Hussie's doing a great job as it is.

PAIRINGS IN THIS STORY: John/Karkat, Dave/Sollux, Jade/Eridan, Rose/Kanaya, Terezi/Vriska, Gamzee/Tavros, and later on Dirk/Jane.

CHAPTER ONE: Katarina: Introductions, If You Will

"There's something I'm never going to understand, though. How did this start? What was the 'original'? Were we the first, or were we simply another scratch gone awry?"

"Maybe we'll never know, but don't worry about it. Through this, and any future scratches, I'll always find you. I promise."

"Heh. You're such a sap."

"Yeah, but I'm your sap. I love you, Karkat."

"I pi-...I love you too, John."

"Hehe!"

"Katarina!" A shout called for me from downstairs, and I groaned as I realized today was the first day of school. I was going to be a sophomore at Scratch High, along with the eight assholes I called friends. "Katarina Alice StClaire, get up!" my dad yelled again, and I shouted back a grumpy reply before rolling out of bed and getting ready.

As I was throwing a pair of unironed pants on, I heard the front door slam shut. Either my dad had left – no need, since he didn't work on Mondays – or a certain somebody had came into the house. My hunch was proved correct as, minutes later, a lispy voice was heard from right behind me. "You have a horrible fathion thenthe, you know."

"Fuck off, Sage," I grumbled, but she was already rummaging through my closet, looking for something more, in her opinion, decent. Although I had to say, I didn't really believe in Sage Coleson's sense of style. Her long blonde hair was tied up in a one-sided ponytail, like one of those virtual Japanese chicks she was obsessed with, VOCALOID. She was wearing a white layered tee, but one long sleeve was red and the other blue, each matching the side with the same colored eyes. Yeah, she was heterochromatic. Plus, she was too tall to really have any idea of what would look good on a...not as tall girl like me. The only thing she wore that I approved of were her skinny jeans; even her shoes were crazy – one was white with black laces, the other black with white laces.

Finally, after several minutes, she threw an outfit on my bed and smirked. "Voila, Kat." I sighed and grabbed the low cut top, knowing that Sage would never let me leave if I didn't change. I looked at the blouse in disdain; it was blood red, with a pair of black wings on the back. My dad had gotten it for my birthday a while ago, I couldn't really remember when. Still, I was forced to put it on, as well as the only jean skirt I own. "Much better," Sage said approvingly, "I won't have my beth't friend going to th'cool looking like a hobo."

"Yeah, well fuck you." I ignored her giggles as we walked to the bus stop five minutes away from my house. Another of our friends was already there, and Gabriel Mason whistled loudly to get our attention. "You don't need to do that when you're the only one here," I snapped at him, and he chuckled, raising a large hand to pat me on the head.

"Knowing you, sis, I do. I have to shout just to hear myself over the noise that is your loud as fuck yelling." I snarled at him, but Sage held me back. "You know I'm joking, sister. I'm lucky to have a motherfucking best bud like you." I huffed and rolled my eyes as the bus rolled to a stop in front of us and Gabe clambered in, followed soon after be Sage and I.

The bus wasn't any more comfortable than last year; the same idiots, add or take a few due to graduations and enrollments, were doing the same idiotic nonsense, and I sought refuge in the far back with the two people I actually put up with until we got to school.

We took the same spot in the cafeteria as we did every year, in the far left corner. Already there were Kane Maryam and Oliver Starr. I was happy to see the former – the latter, not so much.

"Calm down, Oliver," Kane was trying to hold back Oliver as he laid eyes on me. "Fuck. Hi, Katarina," he said as calmly as he could. "I don't think right now's a good time."

"Like fuck right now's not a good time!" Oliver snapped before shoving his finger in my face. "I've put up with your bullshit long enough, Kat," he hissed. "Thanks to you, my girlfriend broke up with me!" I growled at the riled up boy, knowing full well what had happened, and that I was the cause of it. Hell, if I wasn't, I would have congratulated whoever was.

Gabe looked ready to step into the fight, but I stood my ground, keeping my hands by my side in a peace offering; I didn't really want to start a fist fight with a member of the basketball team, even if he pissed me off to no end. "It's a good fucking thing she did break up with you!" I yelled back in his face. "You're the reason Tanya can't walk, Oliver!"

Oliver seemed put off by my comment, but after it sunk in, he only grew more violent. "You little shit! It was a fucking accident! I-"

As soon as Starr brought up a hand to hit me and I flinched in response, Gabe took action by grabbing the other boy's wrist. "Calm down, motherfuckers. We ain't need no fight on the first day back, now do we." He looked at Oliver pointedly, and I grinned smugly before Gabriel turned to give me a disappointed, 'I thought you were better than this' stare. "Right?"

"Yeah," we both echoed, glaring at each other through the jinx. Gabe, somehow pleased with our unenthusiastic response, backed off, and Oliver and I sat on opposite ends of the table, still glaring at each other.

Kane coughed, trying to break the silence, and asked us about our summers. The rest of the time before dreaded homeroon was spent chatting idly. Everybody else showed up except for Tanya; I supposed that Gabriel had called her to tell her that it wasn't safe here. Erika Aldritch showed up after a while, followed by an extremely excited Fisk Peters. Soon after came the last of our little group, Nero Law. We pretty much stayed and chatted until the bell rang, signalling the official start of the first day of school. Everybody gave a unanimous groan at the sound, and I threw in my own colorful "fuck you" at the ceiling.

Unfortunately, the only person in the same homeroom as me was, of course, Oliver himself, so we walked to Mrs. S's classroom, throwing insults back and forth at each other the whole way there.

"For a shorty, you're a real bitch."

"I'm not surprised at your attitude, though. I heard all jocks were dicks."

"Yeah, at least I get some."

"So you're finally admitting you're gay."

"No, I'm admitting that I, as a guy, attract more guys than a girl like you."

"Do you mind moving, ladies. Some of us have a schedule to keep to." We both glared at whoever interrupted our verbal sparring session. The douchebag was blonde, and was wearing horribly outdated sunglasses. I vaguely noted the insignia on his red hoodie – a gear of some sort, a darker shade of red than the background - before snarling at him and shoving my way past Oliver into the classroom.

Mrs. S sighed as I took my regular seat, and glanced apologetically towards the obviously new kid. "I'm sorry, David, Katarina's always like that." The kid, David, glanced at me coolly before taking a seat right behind me. Oliver smirked at me as he sat next to me. "I saw that, Oliver," the teacher said, "and you're not much better, either." I sent his smirk right back at him.

"She said your name was Katarina." I glared at the prick behind me.

"Yeah? So what, David?"

He seemed to smirk, but I couldn't really tell. "It's just Dave. And-" Again, my gaze was drawn to his shirt, and I absolutely zoned out, a common occurrence for me. There was something familiar about the gear on his jacket, as if I had seen it somewhere else before but I couldn't place where.

"You'll remember me, right?"

"Why you asking?"

"Juth't anthwer the queth'tion, Th'trider."

"Of course I will. Don't be an idiot."

"Thit, are you...are you crying?"

"No. Striders don't have emotions."

"You have to to be my matethprit."

"Gog, you're such a loser."

"That'th why you love me."

"Whatever, Captor."

"Heh."

"And you're not listening to me. That's wonderful." I glanced back up at Dave in shock, which I quickly turned into a mask of annoyance. "Hey, check out my bod all you want, but just so you know, I have a boyfriend." I heard a snort of some sort, and looked over to see that Oliver was choking on the water he was drinking. Oh cool, the coolkid was gay.

Wait, coolkid? Ugh, whatever.

"God, you're such an...idiot." I paused, remembering why I had zoned out. What was that? It sounded like Dave and somebody else, another guy. So Dave's last name was...I shook my head. That couldn't be possible. "What's your last name, anyways?"

He raised an eyebrow, showing how few emotions he had. "Strider. Dave Strider." Well shit. That was really weird. Beyond weird. Creepy.

I shook the thought out of my head and glared at him. "What the fuck did you want? Why are you even talking to me?"

"I was asking for your schedule."

"What for?" I asked warily, and he seemed to roll his eyes – not that I could tell with his shades on.

"To see if we have any similar classes dumbass." I hesitantly held out the pink piece of paper with my schedule information on it and gave it to him. Well, more like he snatched it out of my hand before digging around in the black backpack next to his desk for his own schedule. "First period art," he said finally, handing me my schedule. "Cool."

"And since when did we become such fucking great buddy buddies?" I snarled at him, trying to keep my distance from Dave. There was something off about him, and I doubted it was in my best interest to find out what it was.

But, at the same time, I wanted to find out. Why was I having those weird zone-out moments, and who the familiar sounding voices were. Dave was going to answer my question, but the bell for first period rang, and I sighed in relief. "Whatever, just follow me and try not to get too far behind."

We were on the other side of the school within minutes, managing only one accident involving Tanya, Erika and a back to school project for Aquatics. A pretty good start this year if I do say so myself. I walked down South 1, Dave hot on my heels as I barged through the door to the art room. Due to a change in the amount of credits needed to graduate, everybody in junior class had to take art this year, so I wasn't surprised to see a few old faces – as well as some new ones.

"Hey, sister," Gabe beckoned from his usual seat in the corner, surrounded by three other kids. "Come check the motherfuck outta the new kids."

One of the two girls, with long black hair and round glasses, waved excitedly at Dave, who was right behind me. "Dave! Dave! We have art together!" I turned my head slightly to see the teen nod slightly.

"Hey, Jade."

I took my seat next to Gabriel as Dave took the one right next to the Jade chick. "Why don't ya introduce me to this cool motherfucker?" he prodded, and I groaned before the other girl, with platinum blonde hair and wearing the tackiest black lipstick I had ever seen, interrupted.

"Gabriel-"

"Just Gabe, sister," he interrupted her.

"Well then, Gabe, this is my half-brother Dave Strider. Dave, this is Gabriel Mason." I could have sworn I saw Gabe tense up for just a second, but when I looked again he was still as casual as always. The formal girl – oh dear fucking lord, she sounded exactly like Kane – looked at me. "And I take it you are the Kat that Gabe has been talking about?"

She held out a hand, and I shook it warily. She was way too formal, and she came off as condescending nearly the whole time she had talked. I wasn't sure if it was on purpose or if it was just how she was raised. Whatever. "Yeah. Katarina StClaire, actually, but most people call me Kat."

The girl smiled. "It's nice to meet you...Kat." She gestured to Dave. "Judging by your last name, I take it you met Dave in homeroom. My name's Rose Lalonde, this is Jade Harley-"

"Hiya! It's great to meet you, Kat!" Jade announced happily. Almost immediately, I knew that she would be annoying as fuck, but I gave her a strained smile. She smiled back even brighter.

"-and this is John Egbert." Rose coughed into her fist, apparently trying to gain the attention of the boy looking out the window. "I said, this is John Egbert."

There was a few seconds of awkward silence before a thud was heard under the table and John yelped, turning to look at all of us. "Ow! Sorry," he said, laughing sheepishly and rubbing the back of his neck. "I kind of spaced out for a second." I glared at John before turning to Gabe – and then immediately turned back to John.

My heart seemed to skip a beat. No way. This was impossible. As I stared at him, trying to disguise it as an irritated glare, I soaked in every aspect of him as I could. His shaggy black hair. His bright blue eyes. His buck teeth. His square framed glasses. I glanced quickly at his shirt – blue with a lighter blue, wave-like insignia on it – before huffing angrily and starting a conversation with Gabe.

Still, my mind was reeling. How was this possible? I must have been hallucinating or something.

But I glanced at him again from the corner of my eye, and inwardly groaned at myself. John Egbert was...

he was...

He was cute.

gA: AHAHAHAHA I HAVE NO IDEA. Unnecessary suspense at the end, much? I dunno, how many of y'all thought that "Katarina" was having some spazz out "OMG JOHN IS REAL I'M ACTUALLY A TROLL MY WHOLE LIFE IS A LIE" moment?

None? Okay, that didn't quite work out as I had planned, but whatevs.

Please review, I really appreciate constructive criticism, and even flames are fun to jab at because, hey, they're all warm and toasty. S'mores, anyone?