Hello. This story is told from the Golden Landlord's point of view. Me.
Who am I? I am the Golden Landlord. I am called this because I wear a golden mask with no holes in it AT ALL TIMES. One would think how am I even able to see, hear, and smell with this on. Well, this is for YOU to find out. I own a very big apartment building making money from people's rents. There is one exception.
Clara. She is my bodyguard. I gave her a home free of charge in exchange for my protection. She's a one man freaking army. She has a HUGE arsenal of weapons and near unlimited ammo. Why do I need a bodyguard? It's because of a madman who goes by the name of "Maximillion."
Maximillion has attempted to kill me numerous times, but I would always survive those encounters. Mostly through wit, paranoia, and talent. Now Maximillion has attempted to kill me himself. That's why I need Clara. I've heard that she puts up a good fight with him.
What are my talents, you say? I'm a professional knife thrower. I have an unlimited supply of knives, too. Now, on to the story.
Encounter the Sheriff
Today was a special day. Today was the day that mom would make her delicious apple pies, and she would send one to me. Last night, I dreamed being drawn in by its aroma, and then I would eat a pie with my (real) name on it. Today, this would become a reality. When I woke up, all I could think of was that delicious pie.
I was in the lobby, waiting for the delivery man to come with the pie. Mom would send the pie early in the morning. After 2 hours of waiting, the delivery man came in. I excitedly ran up to him. I signed his little clipboard, snatched the box with the pie in it, and ran upstairs. I then ran into my room. I set the box on the table, and frantically opened the box. But I was about to be met with terrible dismay.
I saw no pie, but a note. The note said
Dear Golden Landlord,
All your pie are belong to me.
Your taste buds have no chance to survive make your time.
-The Sheriff
After reading this note, I was furious. That motherfucker stole my pie! Mom made that pie just for me! I wasn't going to let him get away with taking my pie, but I can't do this alone. I needed Clara for the job.
I went to the door to Clara's room. I knocked on it hardly. "Come in!" She said. I opened the door and saw her watching T.V. When she saw me, she stopped watching and diverted her attention to me. "Good Morning, GL!" She said. "Clara, I have a job for you!" "What is it?" "The Sheriff stole my pie!" "…and?" "We're going to go to his building and get it back!" "Whoa, we're going to break into the Sheriff's building just for a pie?" "You obliviously don't know how good that pie is. It will give your taste buds an orgasm!" "What's in it for me?" "I usually don't share it with anyone, but I'll share it with you" Clara sighed. "Okay, I'll do it. I don't have anything better to do." "Thanks! Now follow me"
Clara followed me to the roof top of my apartment building, where Heli-Al was polishing his helicopter. (We call him "Heli Al because he doesn't like being called "Al," which is his real name, and he has a helicopter) "Hey, Heli Al!" Heli Al stopped what he was doing and waved to us. Clara and I walked to him. "What's up, GL?" said Heli Al. "Can you fly us north of here to the rooftop of the Sheriff's building? I'll reduce your next rent by 90." I said. Heli Al shaked my hand. "You got yourself a deal! Get in here!" "Thanks, man." I said. All of us got into his helicopter, with Heli Al as the pilot, of course. Heli Al started his helicopter, and within seconds, it took off.
40 minutes later, we were still on the helicopter. Clara took a nap. I saw the Sheriff's building in plain sight. I shook Clara, waking her up. "We're here." Said Heli Al to Clara.
We saw the Sheriff himself standing on the rooftop with a guard. He seemed surprised to see the helicopter we were in. When the helicopter was on top of the building, it lowered itself. "This is where you wanted to be, right?" said Heli Al. "Yes." I said. It then lowered it self even more. Clara and I jumped off of the helicopter and on to the rooftop. Heli Al then took off to go back home.
"Hello, Sheriff." I said sternly. "Why, Golden Landlord, what brings you here?" said the Sheriff, nervously. "You know what I'm here for. Surrender the pie and I won't hurt you." "Never! GUARDS!" A few guards then stormed out of the rooftop entrance and surrounded us. "Dispose of them!" ordered the Sheriff. He then sprinted into the building via the rooftop entrance. Clara and I braced ourselves for battle.
Clara got out one of her guns, and then shot 2 of them in the head. I threw a knife at the head of a guard who was standing with the Sheriff before we got there. The surviving guards were appalled and angered with this. 3 of them (there were now 4 guards at this point) charged at us holding knives. Clara shot two of them. I threw a knife at one. One survived, holding his chest on the ground and looked up at Clara, who was holding a gun at his head. She then ended his misery.
Clara then pointed her gun to the last remaining guard, who was cowardly backing up after she saw us disposing the other guards. "Don't shoot." pleaded the guard! "Okay" said Clara with an evil smile on her face. She put down her gun. "I won't." "Aw thank you, thank you! Thank you!" said the guard, with a smile of relief on her face. Then she walked away from us. I threw a knife at her back.
Clara pushed me down to the ground with her, blurting "LOOK OUT!" During this brief nanosecond, I am reminded of how soft Clara's body is. MMMMMMMMMMMMMM!
Shortly after, a cannonball flew right above us. We got up and looked in the direction the cannonball flew from. "You!" shouted Clara. Yes, it was Him.
It was Maximillion! He found us somehow, some way. He was wearing a jetpack, floating in the air, and holding the weapon that fired the cannonball. "I guess after fighting you, I'm not surprised that you dodged that. You're lucky, too, that was my last ball." said Maximillion. He then got out a shotgun. I got out a knife, ready for anything. "Then again, you might not be so lucky." He said. He fired his shotgun. Clara ducked and I jumped back while throwing my knife. The knife knocked the shotgun out of his hands. Clara quickly got up, got out her gun, and fired it at Maximillion. But at the last second, he got out his sword and deflected the bullets. He flew down to recover his falling shotgun. Clara went after him, but I stopped her saying "Clara, no! He's not the one we're after." "You're right, let's go." We then went down the rooftop entrance.
Before we opened the door to the inside the building, Clara got out another gun, with a silencer attached, ready to face what could be waiting for them behind this door. I opened the door, and Clara pointed a gun to a guard that was standing on the other side. "What the hell?" said the guard. "Here's the deal, tell me where the Supreme Office is and I won't shoot!" proposed Clara. (The Supreme Office is where the Sheriff does his paper work. He's most likely hiding in there) "G-go to the end of the hallway, turn left. Go to the 3rd door on your left." Clara put down her gun and said, "Luckily for you, I'm a woman true to my word." We went down the hallway.
Some time later, we were still running down the hallway. "Holy crap, this hallway is long." Said I. "Yeah." Said Clara. "I mean, you'd think he'd throw more guards at us." "WOAH." A miniturret appeared in front of us. Clara got out an Uzi, shot it, and the turret quickly blew up. "That was close." Said Clara. Yes, that was indeed a close call. We continued to run down the hallway. We reached the end of the hallway, and turned left. We stopped at the 3rd door on the left, where the Supreme Office is.
Clara was about to open the door. "Be careful, Clara. The Sheriff could have another trick up his sleeve." I reminded Clara. "Ok." Clara opened the door, where two guys with assault rifles shot at us. We dodged out of the way. Clara got out her silencer and then turned to the doorway to shoot one of the guards; she went out of the doorway to avoid fire from the remaining guard. She quickly went back into the doorway to shoot the remaining guard. We went into the office.
I knew the Sheriff was hiding behind the desk. I called him out. Clara, unsure of my claim but went with it, threatened to shoot if he doesn't come from hiding. I was right. The Sheriff stood up behind his desk. Clara held out her gun to him. "Give us the pie or your head's Swiss cheese!" threatened Clara. "Okay, okay!" said the Sheriff, fearing for his life. You shouldn't have taken my pie, bitch! The Sheriff lifted his hat and then he took out the box my pie was in. Damn, that pie smelt fine. "Now put it on the desk" said Clara. The Sheriff obeyed her command. Clara picked up the box with the pie in it. "Now was that so hard?" As Clara and I walked to leave the office, we heard a boom. The boom made the security surveillance machine (Which was at the end of the room) fall down, as it was falling, it pushed the Sheriff down with it. The machine then fell on the desk, cutting the Sheriff in half. A gruesome death. We quickly turned around to see what has caused the boom. It was Maximillion again. How does he keep finding us?
Maximillion was in a ship floating besides the building, this time. "You won't escape this time when you get a taste of my 'Girl-Seeking missile!' I saved this just for you, Clara." said Maximillion. (Girl-Seeking missile? Now I know he could've picked a better name that that) He fired his missile. We sprinted out of the office with the missile following us. We ran down the hallway and made a left at the next intersection we came to. "It's gaining on us!" said Clara. "There's a computer in the middle of that room! Lead it behind there." Said I. "Got ya." When we ran into the lobby up ahead, where the computer was. We both ran on different sides of the computer, but not before telling the receptionist in the lobby to take cover. It had worked. The missile had hit the computer, and Clara and I were lucky to have survived the blast.
As we were getting up, there was a rumbling. The receptionist told us that this building was collapsing because the computer holding the building together was blown up. She pointed to a fire escape nearby. We all ran into the fire escape and down the stairs.
Running down the stairs wasn't easy, as there were pieces of rubble falling. Me and Clara were extremely lucky in avoiding the pieces of rubble, but the receptionist who was running with us didn't make it. A huge piece of rubble fell on a staircase. It was big enough to make the stair case fall, taking the receptionist along. But, me and Clara somehow got to the first floor in one piece, but there was an even bigger obstacle.
The main hallway was blocked by rubble, so we had to find another way out. We went into a room on the right side of the block, and luckily, there was a window. We ran to the window but it was impossible to open. Clara shot the window in a blind rage, complaining that she has no time for anymore BS. We jumped out of the hole she made in the window and ran as far away from the building as possible as it collapsed.
We started our long walk home, with my mother's pie being the only thing on my mind right now.