Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own any of the Harry Potter peoples or world. They're just being borrowed for my sick perverted pleasures. All songs in the chapters are by Emilie Autumn, of whom I based my character Amelie off of. And all chapter's, unless otherwise noted , titles are the titles of the songs in the chapter. So, yup, don't kill the Mad Hatter! Kthx. O.O
"I'm no Opheliac I've been so disillusioned I know you'd take me back But still I feign confusion I couldn't be your friend My world was too unstable You might have seen the end But you were never able to keep me breathing As the water rises up again, before I slip away You know the games I play And the words I say When I want my own way You know the lies I tell When you've gone through hell And you say I can't stay You know how hard it can be to keep believing in me When everything and everyone becomes my enemy When there's nothing more you can do I'm gonna blame it on you It's not the way I wanna be I only hope that in the end you will see It's the Opheliac in me It's the Opheliac in me I'm no Opheliac My stockings prove my virtues I'm open to attack But I don't want to hurt you Whether I swim or sink That's no concern of yours now How could you possibly think You had the power to know how to keep me breathing As the water rises up again, before I slip away Studies show intelligent girls are more depressed Because they know what the world is really like Everything's gonna be all right A devil or an angel with no between She speaks in the third person so she can forget that she's me Doubt thou the stars are fire Doubt thou the sun doth move Doubt truth to be alive But never doubt But never doubt"
"That's right, people! You have just heard what you've all been waiting for! The Black Dahlia's new hit single, 'Opheliac'! Hurry and call in! The hundredth caller wins backstage passes to they're first show on their UK tour in Manchester!" the DJ's voice filtered through the small kitchen radio.
"OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!"
CRASH!!!
"Oh my god, I have to call now!!!!" Hermione shrieked, launching over the pile of broken dishes and at her book bag.
The Weasley's all came rushing into the kitchen where Hermione was gasping and shrieking in a frenzy.
"Wha-?" Ron said puzzled, stepping into her path.
With the last dish in her hand, a large glass pitcher, she smacked him upside the head, screaming, "What the hell are you doing?! Get out of my way!"
He hit the ground with a loud thud, groaning and clutching his now bleeding head, covered in bits of glass.
"Hermione! What has gotten into you, young lady?!" Mrs. Weasley gasped, appalled. She hesitate to move to her son in fear of retribution from the bushy haired lunatic.
"I… need… to… win…. Must… win…." Hermione fumbled with her phone before hitting speed dial successfully. She was bouncing from one foot to another, her face flushed, her hair sticking out in all directions. "Answer the god damn phone!!!!!"
"Hello, you've got KOL 160 FM! Who's this?" the DJ's voice rang out not only on her cell phone but the radio as well.
Hermione began to hyperventilate and stuttered in a very unbecoming manner: "I- Have I won?! Is it me?! For the love of all that is… Oh, just tell me!!!!!"
There was a moment of silence, then the DJ cleared his throat and hesitantly announced, "You're caller 100, miss. You've just won"
But he never got to finish and her shrieks filled the radio station and the room she was in. High-pitched, glass breaking shrieks.
"I won!!! Oh, my god! I won!!" she sobbed, cradling the phone to her bosom. "I love you Amelie!! I love Black Dahlia!!! EEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!"
"Well, uh, yes, miss," the DJ said slowly. "You hold on while our crew gets your information so we can get you those three backstage passes, then."
The phone clicked onto hold, and elevator music began playing in the background. Hermione was still screaming and sobbing and shaking about, unable to compose herself in her excitement.
Various bits of the Weasley's conversation floated about the room.
"What has gotten into 'Mione?!"
"That crazy bitch hit me!"
"Well, that's the last time I invite her to dinner!"
"Is she on crack and where can I get some?"
"We never should have let her have that damned radio in here!!"
"My dishes!!!"
Ok, so there ye go! First chappie up! So you like it? Huh? HUH?! Review, tell me! And I'll post another chapter quickly! Feed the hunger!