Hack: Yes, I'm going at it again! The SSBB Survival Game! Of course, like it says in the plot summary, it'll be different… Just read on for the details!
Ness: Details? You mean you're forcing us all into a survival game?
Fox: I've been in way too many to last me a lifetime…
Mario: Mama mia… Us muses have too much to do…
Captain Falcon: But new people will join! I'm going to be seeing hot girls!
Kirby: (whacks Falcon on the head with a frying pan)
Link: Well… Hack does not own super smash brother melee or brawl or any Nintendo series oriented with this fanfic.
Mewtwo: Well said, Link
Hack: Just a reminder, this is a game about survival. It's about humor, and a mix with everything else: Suspense, Action, Romance, and a few others. This story is also rated T for minor cursing, minor adult themes, minor violence...
Ness: AHEM, strong violence... COUGH
Hack:... Some violence, and yeah... That's why it's rated T. If you're too young, then leave now! Although I doubt young readers really would... Bu anyways...
Without further Adieu... I give you the story, SSBB: The Three-Way Survivor Game.
The Survivor Game Rules
All was well at the smash mansion.
Well… kinda…
"Come on, Peach!" cried Ness. "Can't you make an extra surplus of food for us? Yoshi and Kirby always eat everything!"
"Please, they eat everything we have in stock!" said Peach.
"BUT WE WANT FOOD NOW!!" cried Popo and Nana.
Right. Another breakfast ruined by the two big pigs of the entire smash mansion. A couple individuals were currently sleeping in, however, and were not pleased at all to be woken up by this daily morning noise.
"Can't anyone get a shut-in in this mansion these days…?" Snake muttered angrily as he attached a mine by his door and went back into his bedroom.
"Ugh… Is it already time to wake up…?" Lucas moaned shyly, walking out of his door.
"Hell-O??" yelled Link from his room, his head peeking out of the crack in the door. "We're trying to SLEEP here!"
"Hey Link!" said Captain Falcon, who was on his way to the kitchen. "Why are you shirtless? Was it another one of those nights?" he asked.
"What are you talking about?" asked Link.
"Never mind, I'll just take a look in Zelda's empty bedroom to check out her goodies!" said Captain Falcon with a snicker.
KABOOM! Zelda came out of Link's room, fully dressed in a half second, and burned Captain Falcon with a Din's Fire.
"Ohh, is it Let's Blow Up Captain Falcon day again?" asked Samus, coming out of her bedroom. That game was her personal favorite.
"Hey Samus! You're looking really nice today!" Falcon winked.
KABOOM!
"I'll get the doctor…" sighed Mario, who just witnessed the attack on Falcon by Zelda and Samus. "…Again… Mama-mia…"
Yoshi and Kirby were running around, eating all edible food that they can see in sight.
"OI!" yelled Metaknight, drawing his sword. "That's MY maximum tomato! Get back here, Kirby!"
"Nooooo!! My bananas!" cried Donkey Kong.
"At least I eat something other than bananas…" muttered Diddy Kong, who was sipping some tea with one of those cool umbrellas.
"Are you serious? We have no food? Again?" gasped Toon Link, otherwise known as Young Link.
"Yeah… Sorry…" sighed Peach. "We'll have to call the grocery… Again…"
Bowser plopped down in his own chair at the kitchen table. "So… You need any roastin'? I want some food really badly!"
"Hey, if someone can roast meat better, that'd be me!" said Roy, who was sitting beside Bowser.
"Oh yeah?"
CLUNK!
As a prank, Pikachu and Jigglypuff childishly dropped an anvil on top of Bowser's head, knocking him out. Again.
Doctor Mario was currently treating Captain Falcon for the first time today.
"How many times do you wanna bet he'll be in here for the day?" asked Luigi, who was in the doctor's lab because of his phobia of imaginary ghosts.
"Hm… I'll gamble six times," said the doctor.
"I'd say more."
Yep, another typical day. Yoshi and Kirby's food raids, Captain Falcon's flirtatious suicides, the pokemons' pranks on the big guys, Doctor Mario's gambling and operations, and so on.
Suddenly, the humorous, all-mighty, and sexy Hack popped into the midst of the daily chaos.
"HELLOOOOOOO SMASHERS!!" Hack cried. He was dressed in a really nice tuxedo, as if he was hosting for something special. He was wearing sweet sunglasses, a spotted long tie, and a red shirt underneath his black tux.
"Um… who are you?" asked everyone, stopping what they were doing.
"I'm Hack! And because you smashers are so popular, I'm drawing you all into my new show!"
"New show?" asked Zelda.
"Exactly! It's a game of survivor!"
Everyone fell silent.
"Come ON!" said Ness. "We've done millions of those in other fanfics!"
"And I always win because I'm just that popular!" said Link.
"I always lose early…" whimpered Jigglypuff.
"I don't know what you're talking about though, cuz…" said King Dedede. "I haven't been in many…"
"Well you'll all soon see!"
In a large, blinding white flash of light, Hack teleported all of the smashers into a large beautiful hall. Candles were lit along the walls, and a golden chandelier was hung from the ceiling. It was like a royal hall with a long red carpet unfurled across the room's length.
"This is where you guys will meet for the… Um…"
The smashers were waiting for Hack to finish his sentence.
"Uh… What was it called again?"
"Ugh! It's called a freaking Tribal Council!" yelled Ness.
"Oh yeah! This is the Tribal Council," said Hack, as if he didn't notice Ness. Of course, all of the smashers that were not plain stupid knew that he really did forget. "When your team loses an immunity match, that team will have to meet here and vote off someone off of this island! This island is… unnamed… I just bought it with all of my savings just for the purpose of this game!"
"You're really… willing to spend so much on just a simple game?" asked Marth.
"BEEP. DOES NOT COMPUTE. HACK IS HUMAN. HE MUST WANT SOMETHING MORE THAN JUST THIS GAME," said ROB in his monotone, robotic voice.
"Let me explain more! So… uh… How you lose…"
You'll be giving us challenges… Mewtwo said telepathically. And the team that loses will have to come here to vote someone off.
"Exactly! Just as Mewtwo said what I was about to say!" said Hack, pretending to know everything all along. "But things will be different here, oh yes. No, you guys won't be put into one big tribe, nor will you be put into two separate tribes! Oh no! You'll be put into THREE tribes!"
"What? THIS IS MADNESS!!" cried Wario.
"Madness? This is not madness!" said Pit. "THIS… IS…"
"Sparta, we know, we know…" said Fox.
"I was about to say PALUTENA'S ARMY, but… whatever."
"Please, just shut up!" said Samus. Everyone, including Hack, shirked away. "Sorry, please continue explaining, Hack," she said with her sweetest voice.
"Okay! So you'll be in three tribes in the beginning! Each day, two tribes will compete against each other! Also, each day is a different challenge, starting from immunity to reward to solo. Of course, the competing tribes will change with each day, so every three days, the process will repeat again with different tribe matches. In each cycle, however, a different pair of tribes will fight for the reward challenge, where the winner will receive a nice reward to make life on the island more comfortable! And finally, there will be the solo challenge!"
"Solo challenge? Never heard of that," said Sonic.
"Ok, so here's the thing. The two teams that haven't faced off in the previous two challenges will face off in the solo challenge! Each tribe will have to select one person from their team to complete a solo activity! The winner will get immunity from being voted off in that tribe's next tribal council meeting! The loser will be kicked off automatically!"
"Whoa, so two people get kicked off in every three days?" exclaimed Ash.
"Indeed. It's a double-edged sword if you think about it. You might hate someone in your tribe, so you'll try to get that person to participate in the solo so that person will get kicked off. However, that person can also win and cannot be voted off for the next time that tribe loses in the immunity challenge! You can, however, also try to get someone else you like to participate and win so that person will gain immunity, but he or she can also get kicked off."
"Hm… This is starting to sound a little interesting…" said Snake.
"So… That's basically it! Here's a summary! We start with the immunity challenge first.! Then there's the reward challenge in the next day, and then the day after is the solo challenge! At the end of the day with the solo challenge, the tribe that lost the immunity challenge must attend tribal council to vote someone off. That's it!"
"Three teams… But we don't have the number of people to divide into equal threes…" said Falco.
Hack counted the smashers.
"We do have enough… We have 39 smashers, but it'd also be too short if it was only 39 of you… So I decided to introduce some newcomers that graciously volunteered to join this game!"
"Newcomers? I didn't think we'd get newcomers in the smash community," said Marth. "And thirty-nine seems enough…"
"Well I want more people since the characters I wanted to make it into the brawl cast didn't! So of course I've dragged… I mean, I've invited more characters!" said Hack, coughing.
"From one of my most favorite games of all times, here is Geno!"
A puppet in a blue hat and cape appeared in the midst of the smashers.
"Mario, it's been a while," he said, smiling.
"Geno!" said Mario.
"You too, Peach… Bowser!"
"Samurai Goroh, who only took an inferior position of an assist trophy before!" said Hack.
"ARGH!! I'M GONNA GET YA, CAPTAIN FALCON!!" A man with sunglasses yelled, wielding a sword and chasing after the racer. He wore a yellow baggy shirt, showing his hairy chest. He also had a bandana.
"AHHHH!!" cried Falcon, running away.
"How many people have grudges against you? No wonder I have to operate on you so much!" said Doctor Mario.
KABOOM!! Samus blew up Captain Falcon with a smile.
"The greedy, polar opposite of Captain Olimar! I show you, Louie!"
A little guy that looked like Olimar except slightly slimmer and taller appeared. His space outfit also had a shade of blue rather than Olimar's red.
"Hey… Where're the pikpik carrots?" he asked, his mouth droolin.
"Pikpik carrots? I don't have any at the moment," said Olimar, shifting his eyes at Hack.
"Really? That's the only reason I came…"
"AHEM!" Hack covered Louie's voice with his own. "Ness and Lucas's eternal, annoying rival! Porky!"
A little obnoxious blond kid walked in, his eyes almost closed. He was quite overweight, wearing blue bulging overalls with a white shirt underneath.
"YOU!!" He yelled, pointing at Ness. "MY RIVAL!!"
"…Pokey?" asked Ness, just as Lucas asked, "Porky?"
They both looked at each other.
"Wait, you named him Porky?" asked Ness.
"His name was Porky…" Lucas shyly muttered.
"Strange, he lived next door to me and we always called him Pokey…"
"SHADOOP!!" said Porky. "I'm going to beat your butts in this game and get all my revenge!!"
"NEXT! We have the beautiful staff-wielding vixen, Krystal!"
A blue vixen walked in. She was in a very tight red suit for her Arwing combat.
"Krystal! I didn't think you'd be here!" said Fox.
"Hey Fox!" Krystal said, winking at him.
"Panther would never stop talking about flirting with you…" growled Wolf. "You know how annoying that gets?"
Krystal merely giggled.
"Ohhh, another sexy girl!" said Captain Falcon.
BAM!
KABOOM!
SLASH!
KZAP!
Krystal slammed a long staff on Falcon's head, just as Samus blew Falcon up with another missile, Goroh slashed Falcon, and Zelda zapped him with a lightning kick.
"Sigh… I'll set up the operation…" muttered Doctor Mario.
"Next, one of Samus's partners in the Galactic Federation, and a master of ice, I give you, the bounty hunter Rundas!"
SLISH!
An icy slide appeared in the air and a gray humanoid creature slid in dramatically.
"It's been a while, Samus…" he said as everyone else clapped.
"Geez, you always love showing off your skating skills, don't you?" asked Samus.
"Of course. Showing off is always a great thing to do with my ice skills."
Popo and Nana both glared at Rundas, who were also both ice users.
"Next, from the Animal Crossing game, we have the shopkeeper, Tom Nook!"
A brown fox with a blue skirt walked in. "Hello, hello! How's your day been?" he asked, smiling cutely.
"Awww, he's so cute," said Zelda and Peach.
"I think I just wanna pinch him on the cheek!" said Peach.
"Nah, that'd be mean," replied Zelda.
"By the way, Hack, I don't see my new mansion anywhere," said Tom Nook. "I need to get this free mansion and give it to someone, then enslave that victim to pay off his debt to me!"
"Uh…" said Hack. "You'll be getting it… eventually… But not now, for our other representative of Animal Crossing has just joined us! Give a hand for K.K. Slider!"
A walking Dalmatian walked in, carrying a guitar.
"Howdy, guys, wazzup, dudes?" he asked, playing several sweet chords on his guitar. "I'm here to perform for ya on every Saturday nights for free, then you can buy my cds!"
"I hope he's on my team, I really like pretty nice country music," muttered Diddy Kong.
"What? You're still into that crap?" asked Donkey Kong. "You gotta follow my path and follow the rap!"
K.K. Slider whirled around to Hack. "By the way, you promised that you'd give me the signed guitar if I came here…" he said, playing a guitar.
"Later, you'll see when you get it!" said Hack.
"I have a strong feeling that they didn't exactly want to come…" whispered Luigi. "I'm glad… I wasn't blackmailed or anything…"
"Be glad you're already with us…" Mario whispered back.
"Finally, our last newcomer for this game is from a completely new series that none of you are familiar with! I give you, Isaac from Weyard of Golden Sun!"
A handsome teenage boy walked in. He had blond spiky hair and a yellow cape. Equipped with a long blade, brown gauntlets, and a blue shirt, he sure was a cute guy in the eyes of the human females.
"Ohhh, he's cute too!" said Zelda. Link glared at her.
"Hey… How've you been?" asked Isaac. "I'm Isaac… So it's pretty nice to meet you all… I'm glad to be in this game to compete for this prize!"
He whirled around at Hack. "What is the prize for winning anyways?" he asked.
"Well…" said Hack. "Let's just say the prize is one big surprise. It's worth more than a million bucks in American currency. That enough?"
"Yep!" everyone cried.
"And it looks like that's the only guy that came just to actually play the game…" whispered Luigi.
"Anyways… I'm going to be splitting you all into teams, but not now! Not now!" said Hack. "…Actually, right now! You'll all be sent flying into three different campuses equidistant from each other!"
"WHAAA?" Everyone yelled.
"Yep, yep, we've got a healthy 48 members in this game…" said Hack, counting the smashers. "Ok, once you're in your teams, you all have one complete day to make your shelter, food, campfires, all that fun stuff. And basically get situated in your areas. Got that?"
"What? But I don't…" said Porky, but before he could finish, Hack snapped his fingers and everyone was sent flying into the sky like cannonballs.
Remaining: Mario, Luigi, Peach, Bowser, Geno, Dr. Mario, Donkey Kong, Diddy Kong, Yoshi, Wario, Link, Toon Link, Zelda, Ganondorf, Samus, Rundas, Kirby, Metaknight, King Dedede, Fox, Falco, Wolf, Krystal, Pikachu, Jigglypuff, Ash, Lucario, Mewtwo, Captain Falcon, Samurai Goroh, Marth, Roy, Ike, Ness, Lucas, Porky, Olimar, Louie, Tom Nook, KK Slider, Pit, Isaac, Popo, Nana, Mr. Game & Watch, ROB, Snake, Sonic
Hack: So… Excited? Forty Eight members, 16 per team! The game will start in the next day, where everyone will find out who is on who's team and stuff! Give me comments on how you think this idea will turn out! I haven't decided who'll be on which team, but if you have any preferences, review/contact me with them and I'll take them into consideration!
Review with praises or constructive criticisms, please! Other than if you're not pleased with who I picked… I have a very strong feeling that nobody will like the characters I selected to join… (runs)