Hi, I'm SelenaEde and I wrote the story part of The KH, Lady Kakira however wrote the lovely lyrics for The KH's theme song, which is in fact a parody of California by Phantom Planet, I only contributed a line. We realize that some of the story is in script form, but it is in fact a story as is shown at the end. If this bothers people then just contact Lady Kaki and discuss it with her, ok people? Ok. Yes, we realize we are crazy. And here is my part of the disclaimer.
DISCLAIMER 1: We do not own Kingdom Hearts, and as far as I go, I don't even own the game. I juts hear about it. A lot. Secondly, I do not own the OC, nor do I wish to EVER own The OC. shudders at the though. Thirdly, I do not take full credit for the basic plot of the script part of this story. That belongs to a wonderful group of people in my Drama class. I just gave the characters dimensions and lines and such.
NOTE This doesn't exactly follow the plot of the Kingdom Hearts games, so it probably takes place somewhere between Chain of Memories and Kingdom Hearts 2. Yes, I realize that Sora, Goofy and Donald are like in a coma or something and Riku and Naminé and Kairi are doing whatever they're supposed to be doing. BUT NOT HERE! No sir, here they're all hanging out on Destiny Island, all together and are even hanging out with the recently deceased Axel! Cause we're crazy like that!
Ok, I've talked FARRRRRRRRRR too much now, so let's let Kaki have a turn, shall we? Go ahead Kaki.
hiya, tis me, LadyKakira, and i wrote the lyrics.
Disclaimer 2: We do not own kindom hearts, Squareenix/Disney does. I on the other hand bought both games. I also dont own TNBC, mr. burton does. i think. And i dont own the song "California", its Phantom planets song (but i do own three tickets to see them in Toronto may 14 at the hct (with !PATD!, THS, And MCS)
AND I SURE DO NOT OWN THE OC. NUH UH. Wait, i forgot, the Character Kakira, is mine. MIIINNNE I TEELL YOU. We decided to shove her in instead of namine because i dont like namine. :P. And Kaki likes Dra-ma! (mmm- hmm! snap)
The KH
THE KH
1x01 – Episode One
Introduction plays and theme song plays (Halloween Town to the theme of California by Phantom Planet)
Sitting on the hill
Taking all those pills
LSD and Heroin
Halloween Town Here we come
Right back where we screwed up from.
Zombies grab your arm
You left it on the lawn.
When on the hill all stoned.
Halloween town here we come
Right back where we screwed up from.
HALLLOWEEEN TOWNNNN HALLOWEEN TOWNN!
HERE WE COMMMMMMMEEEE!
In the guillotine
The mayor is so mean.
He caught us writing on his hearse.
Halloween town here we come
Right back where we screwed up from.
The blade is coming down
But I don't have a frown.
I'm still high off ecstasy.
Halloween town here we come
Right back where we screwed up from
HALLLOOOWEEEN TOOWNNN HALLOWEEN TOWWNN!!
HEERE WE COOOOOMMMMEMEME!
-On the black screen-
"Halloween Town
April 17, 2002, 8:03 pm"
The episode opens in a quaint little house where Kaki is sitting in the study reading
Roxas: -Walks into the room clearly upset- Kaki?
Kaki:- puts down her book and looks at Roxas concerned -Oh my god Roxas, what is it?!
Roxas: Oh Kaki!
Kaki: What's wrong?!
Roxas: Kaki, it's...
Kaki: It's what? Roxas tell me what's wrong!
Roxas: Kaki, it's Axel?
Kaki: Oh my god, what's wrong? Did something happen to Axel? Is he all right?!
Roxas: Kaki, Axel's fine, it's just...
Kaki: It's just what?!
Roxas: Kaki, I'm cheating on you with Axel.
Kaki: What?! -starts crying and sobbing- Roxas how could you!
Roxas: Kaki, I'm sorry. I'm cheating on you with Axel and now...
Kaki: -between sobs- Now WHAT Roxas?!
Roxas: Axel's pregnant.
Kaki: WHAT?!- sobs harder -No!
Axel: -walks in and puts his arm around Roxas's waist- I'm sorry Kaki.
Kaki: -sobs -Wh-what now?!
Roxas: Kaki… Kaki I'm leaving you for Axel.
Kaki:- sobs harder and falls to the ground crying- No! NO!
Axel: Kaki, we're sorry. We're in love.
Roxas: I hope we can still be -
Kaki: -between sobs she points at the door- OUT! GET OUT!
Roxas: Kaki -
Kaki: JUST GET OUT! -Cries more-
Roxas and Axel leaves and Kaki cries and sobs more and the screen goes black
-on the black screen-
"Halloween Town
August 3, 2002, 4:22 pm"
The scene opens up with Kairi in the living room of the quaint house.
Kaki: -walks into the room-
Kairi: Oh hey Kaki.
Kaki: Don't you hey Kaki me!
Kairi: What's wrong Kaki?
Kaki: You KNOW what's wrong!
Kairi: I... do?
Kaki: Yes! You do! You haven't done that THING yet.
Kairi: What thing?
Kaki: Oh don't play dumb. I KNOW your having an affair with Axel, and I'm going to tell Roxas and Axel I know unless you do that THING I told you to do!
Kairi: -panicky- WHAT thing?
Kaki: Oh you KNOW what thing!
Kairi: The thing?
Kaki: Yes the THING I TOLD you to DO! So you better do it! Or I'll tell them!
Kairi: Remind me again about the thing?
Kaki: Oh you KNOW what thing!
Kairi:- realization dawns -Oh right the thing! Of course! The thing you told me to do! ...I actually have to do that thing you told me to do?
Kaki: Yes! You had better do that thing I told you to do or I'll tell them! Leaves room
Kairi stands there thinking and frowning, screen fades to black
-On the black screen-
"Halloween Town
September 25, 2002, 11:35 am"
The scene opens up into a quaint little bedroom in the quaint little house. The bedroom is filled with medical equipment. Sora is laying in a coma on the bed, hooked up to various machines
Axel:- Walks into the room.-
Roxas: follows Axel.
Axel: -approaches Sora's bed.-
Roxas:- Follows.- Man Axel, I still feel so bad.
Axel: About what? Leaving Kaki?
Roxas: Well yeah, but I was talking about Sora's accident.
Axel: You mean his over dose?
Roxas: Yeah...
Axel: It's not our fault.
Roxas: I know, but still, we should have gone with him to the hill, or someone should have. He wouldn't be here if we had. We could have helped him with all the pills.
Axel: I know honey, but there's nothing we can do now. This is the next best thing, right?
Roxas: I guess so.
Axel: -puts his hand gently on Sora's -Sora, I want you to be the godfather of my baby.
Roxas: Yeah.
Axel: I... I know you probably can't hear me, but I just wanted you to know.
Roxas: We just wanted you to know.
Axel: Yeah. -Sniffs.-
Roxas: -sheds a tear.-
Axel: Come on let's go.
Roxas: -to Sora.- Good-bye brother. I'll visit you again soon.
Axel puts his arm around Roxas's shoulders and Roxas puts and arm around Axel's waist. They leave and the screen fades to black.
-On the black screen-
"Halloween Town
December 16, 2002, 2:05 pm"
The scene opens with Axel, Kairi, Roxas and Kaki all gathered in Sora's room.
Axel: Uh, you're all probably wondering why I gathered you all here.
Roxas: Axel, honey, why DID you gather us all here?
Kairi:- glances at Roxas awkwardly- then looks away Yeah Axel.
Kaki:- coldly- I have other things to do.
Sora: -is still in a coma.-
Axel: Well, um, I have announcement to make.
Kaki: Uh, Axel, your baby was born last week, remember?
Axel: No! I have a different announcement.
Roxas: -excitedly- You got us more dope?!
Axel:- calmly -No.
Kaki: Well then what is it?
Axel: Well, I... Roxas, I...
Roxas: What is it Axel?
Axel: Roxas, I'm having an affair with Kairi.
Kairi: -blushes-
Roxas:- is shocked- I...
Axel: And I'm leaving you for her. -wraps an arm around Kairi's waist.-
Roxas: -still shocked -Wh...
Axel: And my baby might be hers.
Roxas:- starts crying What?- No! No! Axel? No!
Axel: I'm sorry Roxas.
Roxas: No!! -sobs and cries-
Kaki:- is shocked.-
Roxas: -gets angry and glares at Kairi -This is all your fault! If you hadn't have butted in, none of this would have happened!
Kairi: Me? How is it –
A shot rings out
Axel: -falls to the ground dead.-
Kaki: OH MY GOD!
Roxas: AXEL! NOOO!!
Kairi: OHMYGODOHMYGODMOHMYGOD! AHHHH!!
Sora:- is awake from his coma and is holding a gun and pointing it at where Axel used to be standing-
Roxas: S-sora?
Kaki: What?
Kairi: -faints-
Sora: -To Axel's dead body.- Bitch.
Roxas: S-sora?
Sora:- lowers gun and looks at Roxas.-
Kaki: Your awake.
They all stare at each other and the screen fades to black.
On the black screen
"Halloween Town
January 24, 2003, 8:03 pm"
The scene opens up in the study of the quaint little house where it all began. Kairi, Roxas and Sora are all gathered.
Roxas: -glares at Kairi -The baby is mine.
Kairi:- glares at Roxas- As if. The baby is mine and you know it. It's too cute to be yours.
Roxas: Is that you or the alcohol talking?
Kairi: Shove it LSD breath!
Sora: Shut up. -Sits down in a comfy chair away from the other three, placing his crutches beside him-
Roxas: Are you OK Sora? Are your legs bothering you?
Sora:- I'm fine.- Just will you two stop arguing? We'll know which of you is the baby's father as soon as Kaki gets back with the test.
Kairi:- mutters- It's me.
Roxas:- glares at Kairi but says nothing.-
Kaki:- walks in carrying a manila envelope. -Ok guys.
Roxas:- rushes over to Kaki. -We have it?
Kairi:- hurries over too. -Oh my god!
Kaki: I have it. He paternity test is right here.
Roxas: Open it!
Kairi: It is so going to be me!
Kaki: -pulls the test out from the envelope.-
Roxas: Ohhhh...
Kairi: squeals with excitement.
Kaki: The father of the baby is...
Roxas: It's gonna be me.
Kairi: No way.
Kaki: -looks surprised.- ...SORA!
All three turn to look at Sora in shock. The screen fades to black.
-END OF EPISODE ONE-
-Credits Roll and music plays.-
HALLLOOOWEEEN TOOWNNN HALLOWEEN TOWWNN!!
HEERE WE COOOOOMMMMEMEME!
HALLLOOOWEEEN TOOWNNN HALLOWEEN TOWWNN!!
HEERE WE COOOOOMMMMEMEME!
HALLLOOOWEEEN TOOWNNN HALLOWEEN TOWWNN!!
HEERE WE COOOOOMMMMEMEME!
--
Sora looked at the script he held in his hand and had just finished reading out loud to the others. He slowly looked up and met the gazes of Roxas, Naminé, Kairi, Kakira, Axel, Riku, Donald and Goofy.
"What the HELL was THAT?!" Sora asked the others.
"I… I… I…" Kakira started but then stopped as she was at a total loss for words.
"Oh my god…" Kairi said, a faint reminiscent of the scripts portrayal of her.
"I… and Axel… and us… and OH MY GOD AXEL WAS A PEDO!" Roxas cried out.
"I would NEVER be with so many people! I am so not that much of a man whore Ack!" Axel yelled out, disgusted.
"Wh… why wasn't I in it?" Naminé asked timidly.
"Gawrsh, that was… uh…. Interestin'." Goofy said awkwardly.
"Who wrote that, that's what I want to know." Donald quacked out.
Suddenly a peel of laughter burst out form the crowd. Everyone turned around looking at each other until they realized that it was Riku that was laughing.
"Oh… my god… with Sora… and the coma… and the drugs… and Axel being pregnant… and the cheating…. And Kairi could have been a dad… and SORA was the dad… and oh GOD!" Riku said between bursts of laughter.
Naminé looked at him with sympathy while the others looked at him with unamused faces.
"Donald's right," Sora stated, dropping the script to the ground and stepping on it. "I wanna know who wrote that piece of shit."
"Wow, Sora, you must be angry, huh?" Goofy asked.
"Well of course he's angry!" Donald and Roxas yelled at the same time.
"We were just made fun of!" Axel burst out.
"In a most uncool way," Kairi added.
"So anyone have any ideas?" Kaki added, finally getting her voice back.
"It was probably Sephiroth," Riku said, referring to the evil man that had been after them since Xemnas had bitten the dust.
Sora looked out into the horizon where the sky met the water and squinted his eyes in anger.
"Sephiroth," Sora started, grabbing his Keyblade that lay beside him. "Your going down."
"Yeah," chorused the others getting their game faces on.
And so it began.