A/N: There's a story to the final scene of this absolute trifle of writing. If you want to hear it let me know and I'll PM you about it. I didn't want to add to your boredom with it if you don't care (which I don't blame you). Oh, and firesnap had a much better idea for what Jack might do with his time. I might use it later 'cause it was awesome. I just couldn't make it fit the tone of this one. (or she could write about it. 'hint, hint.')
Bored
"Jack, leave me the fuck alone," Owen growled as he leaned precariously over the dead thing on his autopsy table. "I don't need a hand, and you're annoying the shit out of me."
Jack grinned, "Sometimes that's worth the entire process, Owen." Owen shot him a glare filled with daggers so Jack retreated, valuing his luck. He wandered upstairs to where Tosh was sitting with her nose practically touching the monitor in front of her, her glasses perched on the end of her nose, aiming downward at the paper file in front of her.
"Figured it out yet, Tosh?" Jack asked cheerfully. She simply turned her head and looked at him over her glasses and then turned back to the monitor, saying nothing. He grinned and rolled his eyes, walking away to find someone else to pester.
He meandered over to Gwen's desk, where she had three files laid out in front of her and a red pen in her hand. "Anything?" he asked, and she didn't even look up, just shook her head no and then leaned over to circle something on one of the files. He sighed. No one was playing nicely today.
That left one more person to check up on, and so he sauntered down the stairs to the long hallway leading to the basement Archives. There was the faint sound of music playing, some upbeat band that Jack didn't recognize. He leaned in the doorway of the archives, admiring the sight of Ianto leaning over a bottom filing drawer and placing files carefully in it.
Ianto didn't even stand up or turn around, but said, "Not finished, Jack. It's going to be at least another hour, so kindly go stare at someone or something else. Write a report if you're really bored, but this has to get done today."
Jack sighed. It wasn't often that he was the one with nothing pressing to do, no phone meetings to bark through, no budget to crumple before handing over to Gwen and Ianto, no aliens to chase. So he did the only thing left to him.
He saw Ianto sitting on the park bench when he got back a couple hours later, and when he approached he was offered a coffee cup. He smiled and accepted, and sat down next to the young man.
"How was your walk?" Ianto asked, sipping his own drink.
"Good. Saw that group of kids playing football in the park and watched them awhile. The tall, blonde kid is getting better and the red-haired kid was gone. Someone was testing a model airplane as well, which was interesting until it ended up in the pond. Then it just got ugly."
"How far did you go?" Ianto asked, looking over at him.
"A few miles. Not far today," Jack replied, looking out at the bay.
"What do you look for?"
Jack grinned, "Anything new. Anything out of the ordinary."
Ianto chuckled, "Do you hope for out of the ordinary?"
Jack sighed, "Actually, no. Today was reassuring. Not much different."
Ianto stood and stepped away from the bench, "Well, Gwen and Tosh have a report for you about that incident out in Splott. They're waiting."
Jack followed Ianto back into the Hub and headed for the conference room.
"What've you got?" He asked unceremoniously and sat himself down at the head of the table.
Ten minutes later he sat at the table with his head down on his folded arms. The short version of their five minute report was that there was nothing to report. The police got things mixed up, the locals thought they saw something they didn't and Jack still didn't have anything to do with himself. The team had retreated to their various corners, and he didn't even have a report he had to write. He sighed and stood up to leave.
An hour later Ianto went looking for Jack. He had trouble finding him at first, and then finally tried the car park to see if Jack had taken the SUV somewhere. It was still sitting in its spot, but Ianto spied Jack's legs and boots sticking out from under the front of it. He wandered up, curious.
"What're you doing, Jack?" He asked, and then he cringed when Jack, obviously startled, lifted his head and banged it on the underside of the SUV.
"Ow! Ianto! Don't startle a guy under a car," Jack growled. After a beat, he added in a seductive voice, "Unless it's part of the game, of course."
"What are you doing, Jack?" Ianto repeated, this time crouching down to see what Jack was up to under the vehicle, and he was startled himself when Jack slid out quickly from under on a dolly, almost slamming into Ianto's foot. He leapt back and grinned at Jack, who had stripped down to his t-shirt and was damp with sweat and had a face smudged with engine grease. "Are you working on the car?" He asked, sounding reticent. "Are you sure that's a good idea?"
Jack stood and walked over to the wall, where a towel and a bottle of water sat. He picked them up, wiped his face, and took a long swig of the water before answering Ianto. "I adjusted the timing belt and it needed an oil change," he said as he walked back over to the car and leaned on the hood. "Routine maintenance, you know," he said with a grin. "I thought I might try and tweak the transmission a bit after I finish the oil change as well. Smoother shifting. The thing's showing its age right now."
"Jack, don't break the SUV, please?" Ianto implored, remembering the last time Jack tried to soup something up – it was Ianto's Audi and it resulted in a hefty bill from the nearby mechanic. Jack at least had the good grace to pay for it, but the principle remained.
Jack took another drink of water and laughed, "Tweaking. No breaking today." He paused and said, "God, I'm bored. What do you do when you're bored?"
"Do you really want to know?" Ianto asked, surprised at the question.
"I've pestered you guys, watched strangers, and fiddled with the car. I need help before I do break something," he sighed, leaning over to gather his tools and put them in the boot of the SUV.
An hour later, after Jack showered and Ianto told the others that he was getting Jack out of there before Owen had to throw something at him (and Owen promised Ianto a beer later as thanks), Jack was sitting on Ianto's couch. He was fully clothed, there was pizza and beer on the table, and there was a game controller in his hands.
"Mario Kart, Jack. It's fun. If you get good enough we'll try playing online against someone from another country. That's when it's really cool. Here, practice first with the steering wheel controller." Ianto sounded excited and Jack looked at him incredulously.
"Video games? You play video games in your spare time when I'm not around?" Jack asked.
Ianto grinned, "Well, we don't get much spare time around Torchwood, do we? So it's not like I'm any good at this stuff. It's just fun," and he paused and said, "Shut up and drive, Jack, and try to avoid the bananas."