Tick tock tick tock...
Rated T for violence.
Disclaimer: I do not own Frozen, and this is for entertaiment purposes only.
"All aboard the Arendelle Express!"
An airy, high-pitched whistle cut through the still morning air, bouncing off the mortared brick walls and echoing down the steel tracks. Heads turned, then turned back. Bags rustled, hands clapped to ears. The beast roared to life.
The conductor yelled again, "All aboard the Arendelle Express!" Flames licked as a young man with a smudged face shoveled more coal into the fiery oven, and steam shot through a long chimney in the front of the train. Wheels creaked in protest as they woke from a cool night's sleep, and slowly, began to turn on long black axles, picking up speed.
A safe distance away from the tracks, securely covered by the thick, clear glass of a fancy-looking clock mounted on a column of red brick, a long second hand raced past its metaphorical finish line, followed by a slightly shorter and slower minute hand that settled one tick mark in front of the 12. An even stubbier hour hand inched forward almost imperceptibly, nestling itself a hair beyond the 8.
DEPARTURE TIME 8:00, read Kristoff's ticket. He looked at the receding shiny golden backside of the clock as it passed his window. His eyes immediately flicked downwards, and he remembered, upon stepping onto the train, seeing a bespectacled man with graying, slicked back hair and an impeccable outfit. "Eight o'clock, lad, not a minute more. Time is of essence." A brown hair on his sleeve. Glaring eyes, a quick blowing breath, brush, brush brush.
The very same conductor leaned out of the very same doorway and bellowed the very same words one last time, "All aboard the Arendelle Express!"
Satisfied, he leaned back, adjusted his collar, grabbed the handle with a gloved hand and slid the door shut.
Anna's disguise was seriously getting annoying. Her scalp itched from the wig, her cheeks itched from the copious amounts of obnoxiously red blush, her eyes itched from eyeliner and sticky mascara, her arms itched from the sleeves of that excessively frilly blouse, her legs itched from those trousers. She not-so-subtly pulled at her brown bangs and then pulled again at the back of her head. Back and forth, back and forth, all the while blinking rapidly-seriously, one (or ten) of those awful eyelashes must have fallen out and buried themselves somewhere in her eye sockets! Who knew what damage they were scratching around in there? (The next morning's headline: Princess Goes Blind After Fake Eyelashes Destroy Cornea!)
She blinked again, eyes red and watering.
Sniff. Was there makeup going up her nose?
"You all right there, hon?" a stout woman holding a notepad asked, glancing up.
Sniff again. Blink, blink, pull, pull. Fake smile. "Mm-hmm."
The woman looked at her strangely and went back to tallying. "That will be another fifty dollars..."
The cashier certainly was taking her sweet time, although that could have been due to the stack of chocolate boxes piled on the table. The lady put a green box tied with a bow into a large sack, which was about to overflow.
A hand tapped Anna's shoulder. Anna turned around awkwardly (she hated those clogs) to come face to face with Vlad. He, too, was in disguise, although nowhere near as uncomfortable as she was. A rogue front tooth protuded onto his lower lip. Unlike the long black beard glued to his squarish chin, his dental work wasn't fake.
"Your Highness, I sink ve 'ave, ah, not much time left?"
She had to smile. Vlad was so adorable sometimes. "Aw, no, Vlad, we're good, we're good."
"You sink?"
"Mm-hmm."
"The German chocolates will cost a hundred and ten..." What happens to the third digit again?
Vlad frowned a little, hairy beard brushing his throat. "I, ah, I sink to be safe, we should-"
He was abruptly cut off by the bubbly Anna. "Come on, Vlad! Lighten up!" Anna turned back to the chocolates. "We're on vacation! Chocolate!" Wait, did I just say that out loud?
She reddened slightly but continued as if the words hadn't escaped the filter between her brain and mouth. "And besides, the train'll probably wait for us. After all, I'm..." Anna trailed off, visibly salivating. What she wouldn't give for a truffle on the tongue... "Chocolate..."
"Wait, no, I'm not chocolate, I'm the princess!" She snuck a glance at him before returning her gaze to the mountain of colorful boxes and ribbons. Assorted German Chocolates, Party Chocolates, milk chocolate, white chocolate, dark chocolate, chocolate with almonds, chocolate with hazelnuts, chocolate with maple syrup, chocolate with peanut butter filling, chocolate with raspberry filling, chocolate with liquor filling, chocolate, chocolate, chocolate, chocolate, chocolate, chocolate! The more she said that sweet, sweet word, the more she repeated it in her mind, the more it didn't sound like a word anymore.
Chocolate. C-H-O-C-O-L-A-T-E. Cho-co-late. Chock-lit? Now it was just a string of random sounds. And she loved it.
A long string of drool hung from the corner of her mouth and dripped down her chin as she mouthed the word, tasting the sugary ghosts of victims-to-be. She was vaguely aware of someone saying her name.
The chocolate. It must have been calling her. Around her, the landscape shifted and blurred, and then she was in the mythical land of chocolate. The sun was a hunk of glowing caramel, spilling its contents onto soft, melting pavements. Tree trunks were long sticks of peppermint chocolate rolls, leaves were paper-thin flakes of chocolate shavings. Ponds were hot chocolate, and fish were the marshmallows swimming around in its steaming glory.
Anna knew what Olaf's obsession with summer was like. Unfortunately, like the little snowman and heat, she didn't know what cholesterol was, or what it would do to her arteries.
She gasped in wonder, and a fleeting thought crossed her mind: what if Elsa had powers over chocolate instead of ice? The Chocolate Palace in the North Mountain...
Anna spotted the boxes. They were floating in the air, golden auras radiating their wonderfulness even brighter than the caramel sun. She reached for them, fingers extended. Her wig, already loose from her prior pulling, flopped off her head and onto the dirty cement, but she didn't care. She had eyes only for the heavenly confection just in front of her. She was so close, so, so close; she was reaching, reaching, reaching, and then-
"All aboard the Arendelle Express!"
Chocolate? one part of her mind disappointedly asked, while the other screamed in horror and pointed at the clock just above her head. Anna's fingers were mere inches away from the nearest box.
The whistle blew, and Vlad almost jumped out of his pants in surprise. In a moment that he would later come to regret, he grabbed Anna and hoisted her over his shoulder.
"CHOCOLATE!" Anna screamed, as she was suddenly facing the wrong way, as in the opposite direction of the boxes. Vlad turned to run, and then she saw the chocolate again.
"YOU FORGOT THE CHOCOLATE!"
The poor bodyguard whirled around again and snatched up the sack of chocolates with his left hand. Reaching into his vest with the other hand, he removed a bill and slapped it on the table, which shook under the sudden impact. Then, securing his right arm around Anna's waist and flipping the bag over his left shoulder with a small grunt, he sprinted for the train.
Anna noticed that he left the liquor chocolate behind on the table but decided not to mention it.
The cashier carefully picked up the bill and examined it. It was a deep purple. A large number printed on the front indicated that the bill was worth a rather large amount of money.
"Funny," she said to herself. "I thought that only the royal family used these."
She leaned down and gingerly picked up the brown wig before looking up again, watching Vlad run into the distance, a red splotch contrasting with the blue of his vest.
"If I didn't know better, I'd say that that's Princess Anna and a member of the Royal Guard." She furrowed her eyebrows in thought for a precious few seconds, then shrugged, pocketed the bill, and went back to her chocolates.
"Anna!" Kristoff shouted, sticking his mop of blond hair out the window. "The train's leaving!" Thank you, Captain Obvious.
"Hey! Vlad!" Kristoff shoved the window down all the way and leaned out. "Over here!"
"Yes!" came Vlad's voice, far away. "I see you!" The train began to pick up speed, and then so did Vlad. His legs pumped and a vein in his forehead bulged with effort. Sweat sprang from his forehead, back, and armpits, and Vlad quickly apologized to Anna for not showering the previous night.
Anna said it was okay.
Now Vlad and Anna were almost even with Kristoff's window. Kristoff shouted some encouragement.
Inside his head, though, Kristoff was rolling his eyes. They'd made it to the train station on time that morning-actually, with some time to spare. He'd been hoping that they'd make it to the train without incident, but no...Of course, there had to be a chocolate stand and Anna just had to go "just take a look". Anna and Vlad had been helping him carry the bags before the former squealed and ran off. And then Vlad had to go with her, because he was the-Kristoff internally made a face-royal bodyguard.
And there Kristoff had been, hunched over and walking through the middle of the busy station with three times (actually, four) the amount of luggage one would expect even a stockily built man like him to be carrying. The train hadn't been too far away, and Kristoff was not going to make three trips for the life of him.
At 7:55, Kristoff and the luggage were on the train with a trail of glaring and grumbling passengers in his wake. Six minutes later, Anna and Vlad still weren't.
"Young people these days!" A cane waving in the air.
"Pardon me," Vlad said as he knocked down the elderly woman. Bystanders quickly scattered-he was parting the Red Sea of terrified travelers.
"Aiee!"
"Very sorry."
"PLEASE HAVE MERCY-"
"Excuse." Thump.
Finally, they were even with the window. Kristoff extended his arms and locked eyes with Vlad. Both nodded slightly.
"I throw you, ye-es?" Vlad said to Anna, who had snapped out of her chocolate paradise.
"Wait, what?"
In one fluid motion, the bodyguard moved Anna into his arms, bridal-style. "Von..."
"Vlad, somehow I-"
This time, Kristoff actually had to roll his eyes.
"Two..."
"-don't think this is a good idea!"
Another eye roll.
"Sree!" Vlad heaved, and Anna went sailing through the air like a rag doll, screaming. A moment after he threw Anna, Vlad also jumped for the window, thrusting his fists forward, Superman-style, gracefully floating through the open window and gliding through the compartment, only to crash into the door of the compartment a split second later. The door buckled, and later the conductor would look at the crater and shake his head, tutting in disapproval.
Anna, however, did not end up in the same situation as Vlad. She flailed her limbs wildly, trying to catch something, anything, that would break her fall, and in doing so, struck Kristoff squarely in the face, sending spittle flying. Who knew that girl had so much strength in her?
Somehow she also managed to grab onto Kristoff's sleeve, and the latter found himself being jerked forward. His heart leapt in panic as his upper body fell through the window, but then-
Crack.
"Ow!"
Kristoff's vertebrae wailed in agony as his waist was caught in the narrow gap between the top of the window and the transom. His eyes bugged out as he looked down on Anna's terrified countenance, and past that, as the train left the station and the platform disappeared.
Anna paused for breath and then continued shrieking. Kristoff joined her.
Meanwhile, the queen was blissfully unaware of the pinch Anna and Kristoff were in. To be fair, though, she might have liked to be in their shoes rather than her own at the moment. Elsa stifled a yawn.
Maybe the screaming would have kept her awake.
She had gotten all of four hours of sleep the previous night. Travel and jetlag had certainly taken their toll.
Anna got to go on vacation, while Elsa had the privilege of attending the annual summit in a gigantic hall filled with the voices of boring old people who argued and never got anything done. The queen struggled to sit up straight, to keep her eyes somewhat focused on the rather dull King of Somewhere-or-Other, to listen to the monotonous buzzing noise that vibrated from his lips.
"Trade agreement...economy..."
Her eyes scanned the room. The average age of the room must have been arounf fifty, the average hair color was a light brown-her parents would have fit right in. On the other hand, Elsa was on the far ends of both spectrums. Her hair was so blonde it was almost white, and she was obviously the youngest ruler present. She was also the only queen without a king. And that was only on the surface.
Gloved hands.
Doubt.
She was different on so many levels.
Dimly, she registered the King of Somewhere-or-Other stepping down from the podium while the hall politely clapped. She joined as well, albeit a little halfheartedly.
"Queen Elsa of Arendelle."
Different. Eyes flick from side to side. Smile not quite reaching her eyes. Hands clasped in front, holding notes. She could feel gazes boring into her backside and into her skull. There's that queen with no king different snow powers ice froze princess heart thaw Arendelle so different so young looks so nervous hands clasped in front protecting herself inexperienced incompetent why so nervous hiding something? Secrets secrets secrets so many so many hiding hiding hiding looking at the floor hands fidget what are you hiding...
She made her way through the chairs.
Born or cursed born or cursed NO ONE CAN KNOW born cursed ice powers STAY AWAY I DON'T WANT TO HURT YOU closed gates dead parents closed gates closed gates close close close open gates coronation nervous smile QUEEN ELSA OF ARENDELLE coronation ball jagged ice screams running away
She saw him.
FEAR WILL BE YOUR ENEMY
That mustache.
My queen, are you all right NO I CAN'T I CAN'T back away hands touch frozen fountain jagged ice doors open boom STAY AWAY I DON'T WANT TO HURT YOU ice snow flying BOOM down
Sit up monster finger points scream MONSTER!
The podium. Look up. Smile not quite reaching her eyes. Sweat trailing down her back. Shuffle notes. Eyes flick to him.
Clock is ticking clock is ticking one two three four 8:01 8:01 twenty-nine more minutes twenty-nine two nine minutes calm calm calm walk walk walk tick tick tick
Stares, and she felt that they could see right through her facade, as if it was glass. Or ice.
Crowd echoes MONSTER!
Ice...
They knew. Everyone knew.
Don't look monster monster eyes front stare at the wall monster no monster MONSTER MONSTER
"Good morning, everyone..."