Disclaimer: I don't own anything- but I'm still happy:)
I thought I'd try something a bit different- I'm not sure about this, but if I get good reviews I'll definitely continue it. I just had the idea of Snake and gang breaking into dance and song and thought it might be funny.
It's been really hard to write so if anyone has any useful comments, ideas or help that would be great.
Please review!
*Snake, Liquid, Otacon, Meryl, Wolf and Raiden are staying at Snake and Otacon's house. Liquid having made up with Snake by buying him a subscription to "Hot Naked Chicks in Boxes." He's now his new best friend... when Snake comes out of his room.*
Snake: What a horrible, stinking morning this is!
Raiden: Mornings are God's gift, I love them so much, everyone be happy!
Snake: Grrrrr...
Raiden: I'm happy, happy, happy!
Snake: On behalf of all morning haters... *Rips radiator from wall...* Raiden meet Mr radiator...
Raiden: Hi, how you doin', I'm very happy today, are you?
*Wallop*
Raiden: Not happy! *Walks in circles, which actually pretty much happens without him being slammed on the head..*
Snake: Actually I think I just wanted to hit Raiden...
All: *Nod in agreement.* We hear you.
*Postman walks in... Remembers the house and starts shaking*
Postman: Please god no!
All except Snake: Why it's our friendly local postman...
Snake: You take all the boxes for your firm, there's hardy any left for me! Damned Patriots!
Raiden: I won't believe it! Postman Pat a Patriot, all I ever believed in! *Starts crying.*
Postman: Er, my name's not Pat *Decides to leave Snake with his issues and changes the subject.* So who's Snape?
Snake: It's Snake!
Postman: It's who?
*Music fades in to the tune of "Baby got Back." Snake and gang all turn to face the one way, Liquid, Otacon, Meryl and Wolf start rap dancing...Raiden's still laying on the floor crying, Otacon kicks him so he spins round, and Raiden works on this and starts break-dancing.*
Snake:
I am Snake and I cannot lie!
And my brothers can't deny!
That when that box walks in to your place,
and puts that gun into your face.
You get shot, yeah I'm really tough.-
Did you notice that guard was stuffed?
Deep in the jeans she's wearing
I'm hooked and I won't stop staring.
Oh baby, I wanna get wit'cha -
Go take my picture!
*Sudden moment of realisation...* Wait a minute that was Raiden!
*The music fades out and the gang go about their normal (well for them.) business as if nothing strange had happened, frankly Snake's to drunk to notice.*
Raiden: Oh you!
Snake: I just hit on Raiden again- it's the drink! It gives me the memory of a fish! *Remembers the night he spent backstage at a Justin Timberlake concert, with a speakerphone and a truncheon.* *Shudders...* Sometimes that's a good thing.
Raiden: What kind of freak hides in boxes?! You should really give them up!
*Music starts again this time it's "I can't live if living is without you."*
Snake:*Wails.*
I can't livvvvvvvveeee, if living is without youuu! *Raiden lifts his lighter into the air and rocks from side to side.*
I can't livve, I can't live anymorrrrrreeee!
Otacon: Snake!
*Music is suddenly cut*
Otacon: You can still use boxes!
Snake: Yeah I suppose... Anyway it's my only flaw.
Otacon: *Cough- Drinking, smoking, porn, watching Care Bears- cough!*
Snake: They add character!
Liquid: *Under his breath.* Yeah screwed up character..
Postman: HI!!! *Waves arms in air!*
Raiden: Hi. *Smiles and hands out a baguette* Here have some bread!
Snake: *Smacks Raiden.* That's mine!
Postman: *Sees he's not getting anywhere.* Here just have it, take the damned parcel!
Liquid: *Obviously stirring things.* Just have it... Hmm *Does that head down, folding arms thing.*...Sounds like a threat to me!
Snake: It's a bomb!!!!
Raiden: I'll deal with this, I hate the damned Patriots! *Beats the hell out of the Postman.*
Snake: Wow he can kick ass when he wants to!
Raiden: Don't forget where I'm from!
*Music to "Jenny from the Block." plays.*
*Otacon, Snake, Meryl, Liquid and Wolf once again start rap dancing, Snake looks more like he's got something on him like tape he wants to get off though.*
Radien: *Sings.*
Don't be fooled by the wigs that I got!
I'm still Raiden from the...*Thinks a while for something to rhyme.* Battlefield!
Snake: That doesn't rhyme dumb ass!
Liquid: Let's just start it again...shall we?
*Music plays again.*
Radien: *Sings.*
Don't be fooled by the wigs that I got!
I'm still Raiden from the Battlefield!
Used to have a little, now I have a lot. *Points at his ass.*
No matter where I go, I know where I came from!
From war lands to dinner at 6-
to get rid of those Patriot d**ks!
I stayed steady as those Gears rolled in.
Johnson I thought I told ya,
I'm a guy so don't go near there!
Don't touch me!
Don't get horny
May look like Tory
But what you gets not what you see! Oh!
Don't be fooled by the wigs that I got!
I'm still Raiden from the Battlefield!
Used to have a little, now I have a lot. *Looks at his ass.*
No matter where I go, I know where I came from!
I killed the guys like this-
It is my business.
I've grown up *Snake shouts "Not much!"*
I'm out of control of my lover - bitch!
Moanings got me crying like a kid!
Love my life
and my toilet.
Put me first and can't forget
to eat veal.
*Smiles.* I really like singing, yeahhh!
*Snake starts his rap, and starts doing the spacko dance, grabbing his crotch and stuff.*
It take no work to steal checks.
So don't be fooled by the box that I got, my asset!
Don't get back what you put out.
Even if you take the good route-
Can't count his kind out...
After a while, you know who to drink with-
Just keep it real with the box you came in with.
Best thing to do is stay low, drink and go
Act like they don't, but they know!
*The music once again fades out, but Raiden's still left singing about how good he is.*
Raiden: I'm the best, yeahhhhhhhh,, cucumber's in the house.... ow! Yeah!
Snake: I said you were ok, I didn't say go on for ever about your skills...
Raiden: *Flattered.* I have skills?
Snake: Most of them useless and frightening...