Prequel to I Do or I Don't. Sam's perspective on everything that has happened between her and Phil. Song is Mariah Carey's 'Hero' Also featured in Chapter 22 of My fic The Twelfth Of Never.
It's 2o'clock in the morning. I wake up from a deep sleep and turn around to see Phil Hunter asleep beside me. The man of my dreams, my soul-mate or whatever else you could call him. However, it's not always been like this...
Hmm
There's a hero
If you look inside your heart
You don't have to be afraid
Of what you are
There's an answer
If you reach into your soul
And the sorrow that you know
Will melt away
4 years ago, I first came face to face with Phil Hunter when I arrived at Sun Hill. I was promoted to Acting DI above everyone else and I think that's why Phil resented me so much. In my time as Acting DI, I think it's fair to say that I worked on a number of significant cases. None more so than the Serial Killer case. My finest hour as Acting DI.
And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you'll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you
Phil was absolutely delighted when I was passed over for the permanent position of DI. I was really gutted that I didn't get that I didn't get that job, instead Neil bloody Manson got it. Phil couldn't stop gloating when his mate Manson got the DI job. I was back down to DS, just like him.
It's a long road
When you face the world alone
No one reaches out a hand
For you to hold
You can find love
If you search within yourself
And the emptiness you felt
Will disappear
After being demoted to DS, I still believed that Phil still resented me because of what happened in the past. One afternoon was to change that. He was shot in the leg by Weaver and although I absolutely hated his guts, I felt a responsibility to keep him alive. If Phil had died at the hands of Weaver, I'd have been blamed because I put my pathetic vendettas before saving another person's life. We had to take refuge in the underground tunnels. Phil was losing a lot of blood and we had to hide away from Weaver, if he'd got sight of Phil again, Weaver would've killed him. In those few hours in the tunnel, I saw Phil in a different light and began to think that there could be something between us.
And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you'll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you
Phil was there for me when Abi got abducted. He was the only one who wasn't accusing me of being a rubbish mother; everyone else thought that it was my fault that Abi had done a disappearing act. Words can't even begin to describe the relief that I felt when she was found safe and well. I thought that would be the worst of it. Except I was wrong. She chose to go home with the bastard who abducted her and not me. He abducted my daughter because he wanted me to feel the way he felt when I rejected his advances. In the end, my daughter paid the price for something that happened years and years ago, something I thought I'd put behind me. Phil never stopped supporting me throughout the whole ordeal. In that time, we became something that I never, ever thought we'd become. Close friends.
Oh oooh
Lord knows
Dreams are hard to follow
But don't let anyone
Tear them away, hey yeah
Hold on
There will be tomorrow
In time
You'll find a way
Kate Maltby changed all of that. They met at a Sex Addict's clinic and Phil got her pregnant. I was really upset when I found out. I thought Phil had changed for the better; it seems that I was wrong again. I told him that we'd never be more than just colleagues, who was I kidding? We'd become really close friends since the Weaver incident and I knew that I'd never be able to erase everything that we've been through. Phil blew any chance of us having a relationship by sleeping with Kate. Phil had this front, he was seen as arrogant, cocky even aggressive sometimes. He changed when he was with me. I was the only one who saw the other side to Phil Hunter. The side of him that is capable to being kind and sensitive to the opposite sex. In the time before Kate came along, I began to see him as a knight on a white charger.
And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you'll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you
Then Stuart Turner came along, a mutual attraction drew us together. Phil didn't like it because he still had feelings for me. I found the jealousy amusing at first. I never knew he cared so much. When me & Stuart moved in together, I could see the heartbreak in Phil's face when I told him. I think he believed that there wasn't going to be another chance for me and him to have some kind of relationship. Phil became a shoulder to cry on during the latter stages of our relationship, especially during the pregnancy. He was there for me when Stuart wasn't, particularly when I miscarried our baby. I finished things with Stuart because I couldn't be with someone who didn't want a long-term commitment. Me and Phil went to Romania on a sex trafficking case, we were shot at more times than I care to remember, we were forced to seek refuge in a Romanian B&B. That was when the sparks began to fly. That first kiss was absolutely perfect, he took so much care with me that night. It was the most amazing night of my life. When we got back from Romania, I truly believed that we'd be able to make a successful go of things as a couple. I really should've known that with Stuart still around, it wasn't going to be easy. Stuart's snide comments certainly sunk in and I finished things with Phil. I was scared, scared of what might happen if we did take things any further. After coming back from my 3 week break, I decided to try and patch things up with Stuart. I thought I was doing the right thing, Stuart could offer me everything that Phil couldn't. When he proposed to me, I was so happy because I'd be spending the rest of my life with someone I really loved. Last night's events at the club were enough to prove that I wasn't fully over Phil. I could've quite easily ignored him but I didn't. I invited him back to my hotel room and we ended up sleeping together.
That a hero lies in you
Mhh
That a hero lies in
You
I lie awake now with Phil still asleep beside me. I look at him and smile to myself. This is how it should be but then I remember, I'm supposed to be marrying Stuart today. I can't decide which one of the two men in my life I really, really want to be with: is it Stuart or it is it Phil?