Iris and Barry were supposed to meet at Jitters for lunch. She had waited for an hour when Barry called to tell her he was not going to make it.
"Hey Allen", she sounded really angry on the phone "Where the hell are you?"
"I'm sorry, Iris. Something came up at work..." he lied. He could not explain that he had just run over 500 miles to save a woman from a fire. He did not yet have the courage to tell Iris who he was.
"Please don't think that I forgot. I'll make it up to you. What about we have dinner and movies tonight?" Barry asked.
"I'm going out with Eddie tonight."
"Oh… Ok. Well...will I see you at home before you go? "
"I'm getting a call. It's Eddie. Gotta go. Bye. "
Barry felt miserable for the rest of the day. He had failed to Iris a lot lately.
And he was never good at lying. Before he became the Flash everything had been easier and they had spent a lot of time together. And now she was going on a date with someone. It was not the first time and that made it even worse.
Joe came home by the end of the afternoon. He found Barry on the couch watching TV. "Hey Bear you're home early."
"Hi Joe, you too."
Joe took off his coat and kissed Barry's crown.
"You look sad, Bear. Something wrong? "
"I was going to meet Iris for lunch but something came up again. She was mad."
Joe knew how hard it was for Barry to hide this from Iris, but he agreed it was not yet time to tell her.
"Don't worry, son. It's going to be alright. What about a boy's night, huh? Pizza and the game, how does that sound?"
Joe knew how to cheer his kid up. When he was a child a pizza had always brought a smile on his face. Pizza and a hug from Joe.
"Sounds great" he said and forced a smile.
Iris came home in a hurry.
"Hi Dad!" she called and Joe answered from the kitchen.
"Hi baby!"
"I'll go take a shower!"
She hurried upstairs and almost ran into Barry on the corridor.
"Hello Iris" he said unsure of what to expect.
"Hi", she answered plain and cold.
"I'm sorry about lunch"
"Yeah nevermind" she said. But it was that kind of nevermind that tells you to mind a lot.
She entered her bedroom and started to dig for something to wear for dinner. Barry stood at the door watching.
"Please don't be angry Iris..." he said sheepishly.
"I'm not. I'm just disappointed in you. "
"Sorry".
His face was that of a sad puppy.
"You're clearly hiding something from me. Whatever it is I thought we were best friends. I don't keep secrets from you..."
He wanted to tell her, to say "that guy that goes around the city that runs like hell trying to save people, that's me. I could not let you know because I want to protect you, because I love you..." He would never find the courage to confess to her these two things.
All he managed to say was "I'm so sorry, Iris ".
She had already picked out a pink dress and headed to the bathroom.
"I don't care, Barry. Please leave me alone, I have to get ready".
He moved aside from the doorway. Iris entered the bathroom and slammed the door behind her.
Barry felt his heart squeeze painfully. He walked into his own room and curled up on his bed.
Not long after he heard the door bell. Eddie. Iris's high heeled shoes sounded loud as she walked down the stairs.
Barry had sneaked out just to catch a glimpse at her from upstairs. Wow, she looked so beautiful in that light pink dress. Eddie approached her and kissed her lips. She looked happy. Barry felt his eyes get wet.
Joe emerged from the kitchen. He shook Eddie's hand and wished them a lovely evening. Barry turned his view away. He sat down, his back against the wall. He strapped his arms around his legs and burried his head in his knees.
He could not stand to see Iris with Eddie or with anyone else. But what right did he have to feel that way? He had never told her how he really felt about her, how could she know? And even if she knew, who was he to say that she would feel the same way about him? She was his best friend, but he was probably no good boyfriend material to her… she had had many dates at high-school, most of them had been athletes.
Barry felt a tear roll down his cheek.
He heard the front door open and close. They were gone.
He walked downstairs very quietly. Joe didn't hear him leaving. It was not yet dark. And Barry ran like he had always done as a child when he felt sad or anguished. Only now he was that much faster. He didn't know why he chose the cementery. Maybe he felt closer to his dead mom when he sat down next to her grave. How many times had he come here to seek comfort… he had lost track. He remembered the first time he had ran from the West's house shortly upon his arrival. He had felt so alien at the new house, he had missed his parents so much he just felt the need to run away. Joe had found him and he had been so worried, he had wanted to ground Barry at first but instead he had picked the crying boy up and carried him to the car. He had hugged Barry for the first time and told him he would always take care of him because he belonged to the family now.
Barry leaned against the gravestone and cried his heart out.
"Barry the game is about to start!" Joe called. No answer. He went upstairs and knocked on his bedroom door. "Bear?" Damn it, where did you run now?
Joe was not silly. He could see right though his kid. He had feelings for Iris. The thing with Eddie had to be tough for him. But running away again? It was several years since the last time he had done that. Barry was a young man now. But that didn't stop Joe from worrying about his son. He was a cop, he knew there were a lot of dangers out there.
Joe couldn't watch the game. He just kept looking at the clock. It was dark already and a storm was coming up. He called Barry, but there was no answer. He didn't want to interrupt Iris's date, but he was beginning to get really worried. He texted her.
"Hey babe, have you spoken with Barry by any chance?"
"Not after I left. Everything ok?"
Joe didn't know if he should say any more.
Iris watched her phone awaiting a reply. Nothing.
"Dad, has he run away again?"
Maybe this had something to do with the way she had spoken to him before. Barry was always very sensitive. Or was it because of Eddie? No way, why would that bother him? Barry couldn't be jealous about him. He didn't have those feelings for her...did he? She considered it for a moment.
She felt a knot in her chest, that she hadn´t felt for a long time. It was there everytime Barry ran away. She clearly remembered the first time. That was on his first day at the West´s house. Iris had felt so bad when she saw Barry come back home with Joe. He had looked so incredibly sad. Several other times had followed. Times when Barry had visited his father in prison, and the times he had been bullied at school. He had always done the same thing. One occasion Iris remembered particularly well, and her heart broke everytime she relived that day. It was Barry´s first birthday at the West´s house. He was turning 12. Joe and Iris had arranged a surprise party for him and invited all of his classmates. When Iris and Barry got home together, Joe was awaiting them on the porch. He had the entire house set up for a great party. Barry had looked so happy when he saw everything. But Iris noticed that none of his classmates had come. And as the hours passed and nobody showed up, Barry´s smile faded from his face. Later Joe had found him in his bedroom, crying. Joe had never forgiven himself for being so foolish to even think about throwing a party, knowing that Barry´s only friend was Iris.
"Iris? Are you even listening?", Eddie asked.
"Sorry. Yeah of curse..." she tried to concentrate on her boyfriend, shaking away the memories of that awful day.
Joe texted her back "Don´t worry babe".
She had to enjoy her night out. Joe took his car keys and drove over to Barry's former house. The place where his mom had been murdered, the place he had often ran to when he had been upset about something. This time he wasn't there. Rain started to pour down.
"Damn it, Barry. I'm going to kill you when I find you!"
Joe drove around the neighborhood. No signs of Barry. He was heading towards STAR Labs when it his mind. Of course, the cemetery!
"Bartholomew Allen you are going to kill me!"
He thought he would be mad at Barry when he found him, but when he saw him clinging to his mother's gravestone under the intense rain, Joe's heart just broke. He kneeled down next to Barry and saw his face all wet with tears and raindrops.
"Barry, come you are all wet. I don't want you getting sick."
Joe took Barry's hand and helped him get up. He took his coat off and pulled it over Barry's back. The boy was shivering.
Inside the car Joe pulled Barry into a hug. He was so, so cold.
"Bear you can't do this everytime something's wrong. I was sick with worry..."
"I'm sorry Joe", he muffled into his shoulder "Please don't tell Iris".
"I won't, son. But you gotta promise me not to do this again. Now let's go home and get you dry, ok? We can still grab that pizza on the way if you like"
Barry wiped his face and smiled. He nodded.
Soon they were both in their pajamas on the sofa enjoying pizza. It was Joe who broke the silence.
"You gotta tell Iris someday", Joe said.
Barry looked at him but before he could open his mouth Joe reassured what he suspected.
"I know Barry, I watched you grow up, in case you've forgotten... "
Barry's cheeks flushed. Joe could see right through him.
"It will be alright, son. I too have had my heart broken, you know? I know you´re hurting. This too shall pass".
"Ok..." Barry tried for a smile, his eyes trying their best to keep in the tears. Joe hugged his kid very tight and rubbed his back.
"No more crying now, Bear". He held Barry against his chest until he calmed down.
"Thanks for the pizza, Joe. "
"Anytime, son. I´ll get some ice cream, so we can get this pajama party started"
When Joe came back from the kitchen, Barry had fallen asleep on the couch. Joe put the ice cream bucket aside. He pulled a pair of socks on Barry´s feet and brought down a pillow and a blanket.
Joe watched his son sleep for a while. His heart felt heavy in his chest when he thought back to all the pain Barry had endured in his life. Such a sweet kid should never have gone through so much, he thought. And now he had his heart broken by Iris…by Iris, who had absolutely no idea about Barry´s feelings for her…all Joe could do was watch, and wait…
Iris's date was quiet a mess. She could barely focus on Eddie. Her thoughts kept escaping towards Barry. She felt uneasy, like she had done something wrong.
"Iris, what is it? ", Eddie asked.
"Nothing...evertything's fine... "
Iris did her best trying to eat. The food was great, but she could hardly bring a few bites down and she struggled to empty her glass of wine.
By midnight Eddie dropped Iris off at her house.
"See you tomorrow?", he asked.
"Yeah. Sure. Thanks for the lovely dinner. Sleep tight…"
They kissed.
"Hey babe, how was dinner?"
Joe had stayed up waiting for his daughter. He always stayed up when his kids were out late.
"Hey, Dad. It was nice…" she answered, taking off her coat. "You had me a little worried with that message, though"
Joe waved her over to the couch. Barry was fast asleep.
"Oh…what happened, Dad. Is he OK?" Iris asked. They whispered to not wake Barry up.
Joe nodded. He put the lights out and both went upstairs.
When Barry was a child, it had not been a big deal for Joe to carry him to his bedroom. But now, even though Barry was really thin, Joe would never manage to bring him all the way up.
Iris changed into her nightgown, she felt so tired. She climbed into her bed and tried to sleep. But her mind was too busy to let her. She kept going over the dinner with Eddie. He had been a real gentleman, he had picked a great restaurant and even had the table decorated with flowers. He was a good man, she thought.
And then her thoughts wandered downstairs to Barry. She stood up and knocked on her father´s door.
"Daddy, are you still up?"
"Come in, baby"
Joe always used to read before going to bed. He closed his book and set it aside.
"Everything OK, Iris?"
She sat down on the bedside.
"Can´t sleep…"
"Are you in for a pajama party?" Joe laughed.
"It´s an unwritten rule to get pizza for our pajama parties, remember?" Iris said. She laughed.
"I do. As a matter of fact, I already gulped down a big one before you came home…so I owe you one"
"That´s OK. Dad…what happened earlier with Barry?", she asked.
"Well he…" Joe was not sure about telling her. He would have to explain how the whole Eddie-thing affected Barry, and that was a door he did not want to open.
"He ran away again, didn´t he?", Iris inquired.
Joe was not good at lying.
"I knew it…", said Iris.
"You know how Barry is, babe. Sometimes he does that…"
"But always for a good reason. God, I feel so guilty. I think I was too harsh on him", said Iris.
"I was just mad because he seems to be so busy all the time. He has dumped me like three times this week. And he doesn´t even say what he´s up to."
Joe held his daughter´s hands and looked at her.
"Honey, it is not your fault. You know Barry. He has just been really busy working, you know he takes it very serious."
"I know. I just miss my best friend"