Sky: Well, here's my first attempt at writing a Batman story. It's also my first attempt at writing something even remotely serious and adult-ish. That's gonna take some work from me and some critiquing from you readers. Feel free to beat me over the head whenever you feel something in here needs to be changed. Also, it's the first time I've ever used a character of my own making as a lead. And, dear readers, it's your responsibility to scream out warnings to me if you feel she is slipping even remotely into the clutches of Sue-Dom. I shall then attempt to right the wrong.

Batman and all related characters are owned by DC comics. But Valentine, she's mine. Disclaimer is done, now onward to the story!

Chapter 1: Reassignment

Beep. BEEP. BEEP!

The world was out to get her.

Lilith Valentine, poor soul, let out the slightest hiss of breath, barely lifting her head from her pillow to glare down the neon colored beastie perching with refined ease on her lamp stand, its face cheerily illuminated, mocking her, teasing her. All this was accompanied by its ever present shriek; the painful, thought shattering sound that seemed so bent on disturbing her sleep. Every damn morning.

It was too early. It was always to early.

She repeated her hiss, reached out and hit the sleep button with more force then necessary. That clock had woken her from her fitful slumber at an unholy hour for the last six years, and for every one of those days, she wished the thing was a living, breathing being. After all, the only reason to hit someone so hard is to teach them a lesson.

Such as to shut up.

Unfortunately, no matter how many times she hit it, and no matter how hard she hit it, the damn thing would be there to rouse her in the morning. It would be the voice of reason that got her up out of bed and ready for work.

She hated that.

Muttering something distinctly unladylike, she threw the covers thanklessly to the side, swinging her legs over the beds edge. Ready or not, like it or not, it was time to greet the world with a painted smile.

God. It was always to early.

G/O/T/H/A/M

That morning, the Gotham police station was in a singular state of disarray. It was never a particularly orderly place, but today was worse then usual. The newer recruits were scampering around, clinging to the more experienced officers with a seemingly non stop stream of questions, dancing around in a fitful attempt to catch a glimpse of their newest inmate. A task easier said then done, all things considered. Most of Gotham's reporters had managed to jam themselves into the offices for much the same purpose.

And, considering how fast they tended to go, Gotham had a lot of reporters.

Through all the chaos however, Commissioner Gordon stood as an immovable pillar of stability to the other officers, shouting out orders over the clamor, answering a question here and there to shut the reporters up, and, if not for him, one got the feeling the entire populace of the room would burst into fits of hysterics.

However, despite all this madness, he managed to catch sight of a lone officer moving away from the crowd, dark glasses shrouding its eyes, diminutive figure seeming somewhat hunched as it made its way unmolested to its desk. He crossed to the newcomer, grabbing its arm in a grip that seemed more like a vice then a welcoming greeting.

"Hey!" It squeaked in a distinctly female voice, "Watch the arm, watch the arm, commando! Delicate flower here, I bruise!"

"And a good morning to you as well, Valentine."

She pushed her glasses up enough so he could see the spark of disbelief springing to the fore in her blue eyes. Not that it was necessary, the sarcastic snort was enough to express her feelings on the matter. "That's something of an oxymoron, sir. All mornings are conniving, sleep stealing wretches."

The newly appointed Commissioner allowed himself a smile, snatching a cup of coffee from a passing intern and handing it to the slight woman. He assumed her ill temperament was the result of a hangover. He was right. She rolled her eyes, but accepted it with a grin and a quick nod of thanks.

From the other side of the room, another recruit called out his name, voice shrill from desperation. Gordon tossed her a final glance, " I'll be right back; don't go anywhere. I have something I need to talk to you about." Before the confused woman could offer a sincere good-bye, or, more likely, a snide retort, he was off.

Valentine rolled her eyes anew, sighing dramatically, before settling down into her chair. "That he has that much energy in this early has to be some sort of sin."

When Gordon finally did get around to getting back to her, it had been nearly half an hour. Most of the clamor had died down, the media had been escorted out and some semblance of peace had descended upon the already exhausted officers.

Valentine had, as per his orders, remained at her desk, her features twisted into a rather irate façade. In the earlier chaos, her desk, once an immaculate work space, had become both cluttered and disorderly, having been bumped one to many times by a frenzied recruit. From the way her thin brows were furrowed, it was obvious that, once the mess was cleaned up, the officer was going to make the afore mentioned recruits suffer.

"Valentine?' Her glare slid witheringly up to him. Her brown hair, which had a tendency towards rebellion on good days, had already begun its mission of escaping the loose tail she had bound it in, lending to her frenetic image. "You have a minute?"

"For someone who is constantly snagging me coffee? Always."

"You might want to sit down for this."

The young officers features quirked in good humor, "We haven't even dated and you're breaking up with me?" At his insisting look however, she settled back into her chair, motioning impatiently for him to continue.

"You realize a dangerous criminal was brought in to us today…." Her mouth opened wide as she prepared to deliver a sarcastic quip suited to parody the obviousness of his statement. Of course she'd known. Before even a syllable left her mouth however, the Commissioner was making a "shush" motion. "And I know you already knew so no need for your snappiness…"

He received a mock pout. "How do you expect me to be up to my game if you keep shushing me?"

"I'm sure you'll have plenty of time to practice later."

"Later isn't now." At his glare, she heaved an overexagerated sigh of defeat. "Fine, fine, dangerous criminal brought to us, yada, yada, yada, what do you need from me?"

The usually calm, sympathetic Gordon's lips twitched up in a smug smirk, his voice coming out as more of a delighted purr then a command, "You're going to watch him, of course."

"The Joker…?"

He nodded.

"You want me?" She jabbed a finger in her own direction. "To watch him?" She pointed to the area Gotham's most feared villain had departed from not half an hour ago.

He nodded again.

"You're demoting me."

"No, he's a dangerous man. His surveillance is a top priority."

"He's in a cell sir! A very metal cell, in a very concrete building full of police officers!"

"That didn't seem to phase him the last time."

She let out an aggravated huff. "Don't let him use his call this time and you'll be fine."

"Valentine…." His tone had taken on a warning tone, the kind that meant there was no more room for discussion. She had been stuck with this assignment. She was going to do it, whether it pleased her or not. "Look, all you have to do is sit down there and watch him. Try and get some information out of him. Try not to let him kill you. That kind of thing."

"Well aren't we a reassuring little ray of sunshine!" The poor woman gathered a few things from her desk that she might find vitality important during her sojourn, before rising, a dour air hanging about her previously good humored shoulders. Rather then looking like an officer than had been offered a chump case, she appeared as a woman being marched to her own funeral. "Fine. Let us off to the firing squad."

Commissioner Gordon smiled one of his genuinely kind, human, smiles, taking one of the small woman's arms in his own, leading her gingerly down the stairs. "Just don't let him get near you with a knife and you'll be fine."

He got a bitter little laugh in reply.

Sky: Sweetness! First chapter done. Next time, we meet the Joker. (Drools) Now, if any of you have some suggestions on how to go about writing his characters, or have thoughts about how this story could become better, feel free to tell me. I love it. Till next time!