Hello, all. My name is SirGecko, and this is my first posting into the Metal Gear section. I hope it's okay. This is just a short little one-shot, set at the time of the famous boss fight atop Federal Hall in MGS2: Sons of Liberty. Kind of philosophical, but I like to think of it as what might run through Raiden's head when confronted with his situation. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it.

Solidus Snake.

That was his codename. The man who murdered my parents and took me away to fight in the New Civil War. Turned me into a machine, a robot, obeying orders without question and following them with almost inhuman perfection. A killing machine with the nickname 'Jack the Ripper'. I couldn't quite understand what it meant at the time; I was only ten. The M-4 was everything, my reputation, my shield, my claim to fame as the best child soldier, and the only thing that kept me alive. But at what cost?

I stand here, on the rooftop of Federal Hall in New York. Below me, people stroll the sidewalks, blissfully unaware of two people above them, standing on the rooftop of one of the most famous buildings in the nation. So naive, so comfortable wrapped up in their own little world. Not knowing what I know. Not experiencing what I have experienced.

I envy them.

A chilly morning breeze lifts my wispy white-blond hair. Federal Hall is a beautiful place, the aged and historic marble shining with dew. The history that this place has seen, and what awaits it for another day. Today, perhaps. It's a photographer's dream. If I survive, I want to take a walk here with my girlfriend, Rose. I want to tell her how I really feel about our relationship, and that I do want to get married.

But I'm so confused. What is reality anymore? I was talking to a colonel that didn't even exist; merely a digital creation of my cesspool of nightmares, fears and expectations. I trusted him, followed his orders so much like the robot I was years ago, and swore never to be again. I was used. My own girlfriend admitted to spying on me for the government. Used again. There's nothing I can keep to myself anymore. But it was just as the colonel correctly said, "'Self' is a concept you conveniently borrowed under the logic that it would endow you with some sense of strength . . ." And it did. And now that it's gone, I find myself vulnerable and helpless.

And here I am now. Standing in front of the man who's the root of all my sorrows. Solidus Snake, patch over his left eye, staring at me expressionlessly. He held his two long, deadly katanas in front of his body in an X fashion. Behind him, the tubes that look like tentacles twitch every few seconds, as if itching to torture me. He's staring me down. Daring me to make the first move. Taunting me into following another order, just one more order. Kill him. Defeat him. Become your past self; a mindless, professional killer.

What choice do I have? I have to make one, but at the same time, it seems as if I don't have one. If I defy the colonel and refuse to kill Solidus, he'll kill me. If I kill Solidus, I will again become what I swore not to be. Either way, a part of me will die; my body, or what little is left of my soul. They know I have no way out.

Who is 'they', anyway?

But I know now that no major decision is made without some great cost. Solid Snake had said to me, "Find something to believe in, and believe in it for yourself." But I've searched for so long for something to believe in, something that may waver but never fall. Something that I can count as a foundation in my life, to keep me standing on my own two feet. Something that's worth living for.

Suddenly, the image of me living with Rose for the rest of my life flashes into my head. We have a family, friends who love and care for us. An attainable future, to make up for my bitter and haunting past. As much as I deem myself hopeless, doomed, or past redemption, life seems to be telling me, "No, you still have one more chance." Despite the words of the colonel, I believe it. This is my foundation. This is the reason why we fight, the reason I've searched for for so long. You're right, Snake. It's noble to fight for what we believe in. But let's not forget that is equally so to fight for who we believe in.

But that means I realize that it's time for me to stop taking orders from other people and start taking them from myself. Listen to other people, listen to their advice, but always keep your own instincts and best interests at heart. The last order of the experiment wasn't to kill Solidus, as the Colonel had said. It's to start life anew. It's to fight for who I believe in. It's to fight for my future. I know that's what I need to do.

I raise my own sword. Just one more order.

For the record, I own nothing pertaining to MGS, merely this little one-shot and its premise.

Anyway, I hope it was worthwhile to read. I may see you again, I may not. But all the same, take it easy. And please review.

SirGecko