6

Better Late Than Never

Tony sprinkled a little food in the goldfish tank. "Here we go girls, breakfast time." Feeding Kate and Ziva was always the penultimate task on a workday morning before he headed downstairs. Last job was to get his Sig out of the gun-box; he was about to open the box when there was a knock at the door. He glanced at his watch, he wasn't late, why would Tim be up here instead of waiting outside in the car? They'd been carpooling most days for a while now, but Tim had never come up to his apartment before. There was another knock, louder this time and Tony felt a shiver run down his spine, something was wrong, he knew in his gut.

He unlocked the door and drew in a sharp breath as he saw a Metro PD Officer standing on the threshold.

"Mr DiNozzo?"

"Special Agent." Tony corrected the officer without thinking, then he took a good look at the young officer's face. He knew that expression, sorrowful, respectful, he'd used it himself when breaking bad news. "What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry sir, there's been an accident, your father…"

Tony could see his lips moving, but he couldn't hear a word the officer was saying, the roaring in his ears drowned out all other sounds. He leaned against the door frame, tried to breathe and to think, an accident didn't mean…he should ask the question, if only he could find the words.

"Sir…sir, are you okay?"

"I will be when you tell me. How bad?"

"I'm afraid…when you're ready we need to identify the…your father."

Ready? When would he ever be ready? He'd do it right away, after he called Gibbs; Tony fumbled for his phone, his fingers seemingly determined to disobey his brain.

"Tony! Tony, are you okay? I pulled up outside, you weren't there and I saw the patrol car…what's wrong?"

"It's dad..." Tony's mouth was suddenly dry as dust, the words he wanted to say wouldn't come. Tim spoke to the Metro PD officer, their voices were quiet and Tony couldn't catch what they were saying.

"Thank you Officer Trealor, I'll bring Agent DiNozzo to the hospital as soon as he's ready." Tim closed the door and guided Tony to the couch. "Tony, I'm so sorry…"

"It won't be him, he's going to outlive us all. You saw him, last time he was here, full of plans…like always."

Tim gripped Tony's shoulder. "I hope you're right. Maybe they made a mistake." It had happened before and for Tony's sake Tim hoped this was a case of mistaken identity, it wasn't likely but they could hope. "Tony, let me get you a cup of coffee."

"No…I should go, if it's him…I have to know." He got up and headed for the door. "Keys…I need car keys."

"You don't, let me call Gibbs, then I'll drive you wherever you want to go."

NCIS NCIS

"Tony, I'm so sorry."

"I thought, right until I saw him." He slumped into a chair. "I thought it would be someone else, that's what I hoped, some other son or daughter would have to deal with…all this, not me. Only…it is me…"

Tim sat beside him and handed him the cup of sweet coffee he had ready. Tony took the drink with a brief smile. "Thanks. I…we should get to work."

"Not today, Gibbs said you're to take all the time you need. Seeing your dad that way…you have to give yourself time to process what happened Tony."

Tony stared at the coffee cup. "I thought I'd be prepared you know…Dad, he was always flying here and there, sailing close to the wind, I've been half-expecting a call for years. Then when it happens…"

"Nothing prepares you Tony, even when you know it's coming." Tim sat beside his friend; this was his place for as long as Tony needed him.

He went with Tony to the funeral home, helped him contact Senior's friends and business associates, fielded questions from NCIS personnel outside their immediate circle who were concerned about Tony, but nervous about upsetting him. Eight days after DiNozzo Senior's death Tim also accompanied Tony to his appointment with his dad's lawyer, an appointment he'd put off until after the funeral. "He's most likely left me debts to pay, I'm in no hurry to find out how much I owe."

Tim took a seat in the plush reception area. "I'll wait here Tony, and when you're done I'll buy you lunch."

"Sounds good." He squared his shoulders. "Okay, here goes."

He stepped into the office and was welcomed by Paul Farbrace. "Come in Agent DiNozzo. I have all the paperwork here, please take a seat and I'll take you through everything."

Twenty minutes later Tony leaned back in his chair, he'd already checked twice and had it confirmed, but he still couldn't believe it. Not only did his father not have any outstanding debts, he'd left assets and cash totalling almost $2million. "I can't…why didn't he tell me?"

Farbrace shrugged. "I gave up trying to understand your father years ago, he enjoyed living on the edge, one day up, the next…the last year or so he's been more settled. Since he's been in DC his deals have been less…"

"Outrageous?"

"I was going to say risky. Seems he wanted to leave something behind, for you." The lawyer took a cream envelope from the file on his desk. "Speaking of which. Your father gave me this letter almost twelve months ago, he said he'd come back for it if he was brave, if not…I was to give it to you in the event of his death." He handed Tony the letter. "If you want to read it right away I can wait outside, give you some privacy."

"You think I've had the good news and now this is the bad?"

"Where your dad's concerned your guess is much better than mine."

"Maybe…I'll read it now, whatever it is, might as well get it all done in one day."

He waited a few moments after being left alone, did he really want to read whatever this was? Of course he did, good or bad, he had to see what his dad had written. He opened the envelope carefully and unfolded the papers nestled inside. As he recognised his dad's handwriting his eyes watered and his hand started to shake, Tony shook his head and took a deep breath, if he didn't control himself he wouldn't be able to read the letter, he tried to relax and focussed on the page.

Tony

If you're reading this it means I can't be with you any longer. It also means I never had the courage to tell you what I should have told you a long time ago. Believe me son, I tried to tell you so many times, somehow it never felt like the right moment and now time has run out for me, no easy way to tell you so here it is.

You are not my only son.

Tony's hands were shaking so much he dropped the papers and it took several attempts before he was able to pick them up from the carpet and compose himself ready to read on.

You have a half-brother, Philip, his mom…we met the year after your mom died, when I went to Europe to get away. I had to deal with my grief my way, I left you behind like I have so many times since. Never stopped to think how lonely you would have been, you'd lost your mother and instead of staying with you to help you through I ran away.

I flew to Europe, sent months trying to make deals, told myself it was for you, so we'd have money to have a good life. I don't have to tell you I was lying to myself, I try to make deals because it makes me feel alive, leastways it did, guess it's pretty irrelevant now.

One of the deals took me to London, friend of a friend worked in the City, while I was there, you know how it goes, a beautiful woman, my roving eye, the inevitable happened. I walked away, went on to the next deal, a new woman, and forgot all about her.

For ten years I didn't give that trip a second thought. Then I got a letter, her name was Elizabeth Jennings, she had a son, our son. I wish…stupid phrase, what's the point when wishing doesn't make it so. Fact is, I should have come clean then, but I was married again, you were just starting college, I didn't want to rock the boat.

So I kept the secret, Elizabeth only contacted me because she was sick, cancer. She was married too, her husband knew about Philip, didn't make a difference to him, the boy was his son, didn't feel like my place to barge in when the kid was losing his mom. You know me Tony, I'm not good with responsibility, any chance to slip away I'm going to take it. When she died I asked a business associate to contact the family, see what they needed, if I could help financially, maybe meet the boy.

They turned me down, didn't get to meet him 'til he turned eighteen. Missed another chance to tell you…missed plenty more since, I know what you're thinking, and you're right. I'm a coward, always have been and if you have to read the news about Philip in this letter it means I never had the guts to tell you to your face.

If you want to try meeting him, Paul has all the information you'll need. I hope you show more courage than me, I followed him from a distance but never took time to meet him again face to face. If I had it would have led to…complications, and I always had more than enough of them without looking for more. I thank God you didn't grow up to be like me, you care for people, stand up for what's right.

I love you Tony, always have, just wish I could have been more deserving of the unconditional love you always gave me. You have been the one great thing I did in my whole life, goodbye Son.

Tony sat open-mouthed, his heartbeat rapid, his palms damp, a brother…how could his dad have kept something so huge to himself? "Selfish bastard!" Tony's whisper startled him, he hadn't realised he'd spoken aloud. "Why Dad, why now?" He stood quickly, suddenly impatient, needing to move, he walked to the window staring at the busy street below. A brother, as long as he could remember he had wanted a brother to share his life with, his dad knew that, so why not tell him?

He paced from window to desk and back again, trying to calm down, what to do? Think, take some time, talk with someone, with Tim, he'd know what to do.