So, I'm in love with SKINS. I also love writing about mental disorders. Hey, I'm guess I'm in luck! Enjoy!
Reviews are sexy.
Yellow...yellow, yellow, orange, red, leaves...faces, angry...angry, sad, happy, content...bodies, blood, red...red, red, orange, yellow...eyes, a lake of eyes, swimming in agony...agony, agony, greed, fingers, long and slender reaching out, we're coming for you, you, Elizabeth, you, we're coming for you...
"Effy?"
We're coming, we're getting closer Elizabeth...try to stop us, but you can't, can you? You can't, you can't, you can't...
"Effy?"
We'll be back...we'll always be back.
"Eff!"
Violent shaking, a storm of queasy...going to throw up...going to..
"Ah!" She shot up, jerking the cluster of IV tubes in her arm, she grimaced in pain.
"Here, let me..." It was Freddie again, always trying to be helpful, always chipper, always just what she thought she should need. They thought otherwise.
She held out her arm for him and let him adjust the small tubes, barely feeling the pain through the shivers softly coursing through her body.
"You had another spell, didn't you?" Freddie asked, fixing his searching brown eyes on her. She looked away, she couldn't bear to look at him.
"I don't know." she couldn't manage more than that...and it was partially true, she didn't know what they were, only that they were utterly terrifying.
"I've missed you. I've tried to come by...but your doctor said I shouldn't..." Freddie looked miserable. He looked like he would like nothing more than to put a bullet through his head and save himself the trouble.
She hated this. She hated it even more that he had brought up Jon. She knew soon what her treatment was going to entail...losing Freddie was the next step, and there was nothing more that she dreaded.
"I..." she fell back, his alarmed face appeared over hers seconds later.
"You okay?" he asked, the concern blatantly obvious.
"Tired." She answered, trying desperately to avoid conversation, she had to make herself hate him...had to...
That's right, let us in pretty girl...let us in let us in...
"Sleep" she murmured before her world went black.
You don't need him...only us, us, us, us...Elizabeth, we love you more than he ever could...
"Why is it that they're telling me the exact same thing you are? Shouldn't you be telling me not to listen to them?" She narrowed her eyes at her doctor, the man she was starting to suspect was doing more harm than good.
"What are they saying, Elizabeth?"
"That I should push Freddie out of my life." violent shivers tore through her again.
"And my name isn't Elizabath." She said through gritted teeth. "It's Effy." The name sounded foreign on her lips and she had to struggle to remember why she spoke it in the first place.
Not Effy...no, Elizabeth...listen to the doctor now...
"Who's Effy?" Jon asked, moving forward in his seat to look into her eyes. "Who's Effy, Elizabeth?"
Her head was spinning, she thought..."I'm...Effy...aren't I?"
She looked at him, terrified.
"No, you're Elizabeth. You live in London with your mother. You're an only child and you've recently begun to make new friends. Isn't that right Elizabeth?"
Yes...listen to the doctor Elizabeth, don't lose your head...
"I...I don't know!" She felt tears spring into her eyes, she wanted to leave, to run to Freddie...but Freddie...who was he?
We've got you Elizabeth, don't worry, we've got you...
She let her eyes slide close as the voice ripped through her, she couldn't tell reality from inside of her head.
"Elizabeth. Elizabeth?" she heard Jon's voice, but she just wanted him to shut up. She just wanted quiet...just quiet, nothing else. No Freddie...no Jon...
We'll make it quiet...we'll make it all quiet...go to sleep now Elizabeth, we'll see you in your dreams...sleep now...sleep.
Her eyes slid closed.
She awoke to screaming.
"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?" she didn't want to open her eyes, she just listened, letting the screams drown out the voices that hadn't stopped since she fell asleep.
"Get your hands off of me." She recognized Jon's voice. She smiled, something familiar at least. Something real.
"WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU DONE?" The voice screamed again. It was furious, she felt the wrath dripping off of it. She couldn't place who it was.
"She doesn't need you. She doesn't want you. You're making her sick." Jon's voice was cool and collected, but at the same time as sharp as daggers.
"You're making her WORSE." she heard a catch of breath.
Open your eyes...you did this Elizabeth, you caused all of this, and you don't even know who it is...
She opened her eyes and saw Jon first...then she looked over and saw him...tall, dark brown hair a mess, bright brown eyes red and watery, lips quivering. He was stunning and his eyes turned to her. She felt a catch in her throat.
"Effy..." he choked out, reaching out for her. She wanted to take his hand...but she had no idea who he was.
"Who's Effy?" She asked, moving her hand away from his, looking into his beautiful brown eyes trying to figure out who he was.
"You're Effy...and I'm Freddie, Effy and Freds, together forever. Effy?" he looked desperate now, pleading with her to recognize him, but she couldn't.
"I don't know a Freddie or an Effy, sorry, you must have the wrong room." she let her eyes slide closed again at the sight of his falling face, the tears he was evidently holding back spilling out, down his lovely cheek bones. She heard the impact a moment later.
"Fuck you." the boy screamed, she still wanted to hold him...and she didn't know why, he was obviously crazy. Calling her by another's name and thinking they would be together forever. It was too bad, he really was beautiful.
Good girl, Elizabeth.
She sighed, letting her head sink into her pillow, opening her eyes a fraction to see Jon standing above her. The boy had punched him, she could see the developing bruise under his eye and the trickle of blood coming from his nose.
"It's alright Elizabeth, go back to sleep."
And he smiled and she was gone.
Roses roses...roses black, silver, clouds, brown brown brown, brown eyes, beautiful brown eyes, buses, screaming, mothers crying...a bus coming...but Elizabeth...there is no bus. Brown eyes aren't beautiful, they look like mud...
We've got you now pretty girl.
She screamed.
Oh, Elizabeth, don't be dramatic.
Blood, blood, blood.
Look what you've done now. They're only going to throw you in the looney bin.
Sinking, sinking, sinking.
Oh, Elizabeth...we'll see you soon.